An Empath Can Never Have Too Much Space Between Them and Negative or Toxic People

As an Empath, it can be challenging to manage your energy, especially when you are in settings where there is a negative or toxic person or group of people. I have found that the simply moving away from the source of negativity does wonders for me.

What is a negative or toxic person you ask? Well, they tend to be people who have issues with maintaining relationships. They judge others, dwell on the past, have anger issues, they can never be wrong and tend to be brown-nosers.

These types of people like to be the center of attention even if it is negative attention. They will do anything to get you to pay attention to them and see their point of view even if they tell you lies or fib to you.  They also tend to leverage themselves into a position where people have but no choice but to pay attention to them.

Negative or toxic people tend to either stir up drama or feed off of others, and at times will even help it to manifest. They manipulate, they like to control, and they like to withhold information that can be a benefit to others. They also like to blame others for their circumstances.

Do you know anyone who fits this bill?? A relative? A co-worker? A hair-dresser? A class-mate? A stage mother? A sports parent? A drinking buddy?

It is nearly impossible to avoid negative or toxic people all together, especially at social gatherings, in the workplace, at school or church functions, or at your child’s extracurricular activities. As an empath, physical closeness can increase the absorption of a negative person’s feelings or energy. With that said, I have found it extremely effective to distance myself physically from such people. And by distancing I mean at least twenty feet or more. In cramped quarters, that isn’t always possible but in the least, it is helpful to avoid as much contact as possible with negative or toxic people. Give yourself permission to change where you are sitting, stand on a different side of the room, or take frequent breaks from the crowd if need be. Sure, it can come off looking anti-social or snobby, but I have let go of being worried about what other people think as my own energy, or how I feel physically, outweighs other people’s opinions. And really, if it is a negative person that one is trying to avoid, that person isn’t giving you a second (positive) thought anyway. Right?

When the Person Who Got Your Job Eliminated, Unexpectedly Loses a Child Who Needs to Cross Over

Today I was cleaning my office and I came across a sympathy card that I purchased but never filled out or sent. It was from last summer. Last June to be exact. It was for a woman who I used to work with who lost her child unexpectedly.

More and more as my gifts develop, I find myself intending to send sympathy cards but at the end of the day, I don’t always send anymore. (Unless I feel a real tug to share a message from the other side with someone who is grieving. That has happened, but I write the card as if it is from me, not the person who has passed.) I feel that by me sending love and light to the situation, the healing from that is greater than a card that may get lost in the shuffle of transition.

Let’s back up a few years. I was hired on at a non-profit company in a marketing/communications role. The person who lined up the interviews, the one who I thought that I clicked with, who I actually became good “office friends” with, was ready to take her Maternity Leave. She was in a hurry to get the position filled and due to the urgency, I was the one the job was offered to. I don’t know if I was the right one for the job, but I was the lucky winner.

The climate at this “company” was interesting. Really, exhausting at times trying to keep up with the political non-sense that happened behind the scenes and the constant scheming done by others. Looking back, I think that a lot of the exhaustion came from being zapped by such a vast cast of characters as an Empath. (At the time, I was clueless about my gifts.) Additionally, I remember finding myself shutting down a lot when my antenna would go up around unauthentic people. I also recall seeing employees mouths move about what they were doing, needed done, etc., but remember thinking what I was hearing and thinking did not matching up. I remember at times just trying to keep my head down and do my job. The individual who hired me, always seemed like a beacon of light in the craziness. She was one to vent to and would give insight that usually made everything better and kept me on track. That was, until a few years later when I became pregnant and took the standard Maternity Leave that most do. Right before I was out on leave, the company acquired a new President (out with the old and in with the new) and an organizational reorg was in the works. Right before leaving, the climate changed… every man (and woman) for him or herself!

While on leave, I got a call from our team admin that my departmental boss, was one of those who got canned in the re-org. Deep inside I knew that my job would be on the line now that my “protector” was gone. And part of me wanted to get canned to be home with my new baby, partly because I knew that would be easier than convincing my husband that I shouldn’t work.

Two weeks and two minutes after returning to work after Maternity Leave, I got a meeting request to meet in an out-of-the-way meeting room, with HR and the new President. Need I say more, I got my walking papers. Later I figured out that my “office friend” who hired me, jockeyed to save her job while she threw me under the bus, along with a few others. When this happened, I was hurt by her. Now looking back, I thank her as it was a blessing in disguise to be out of that place. Needless to say how things ended, I haven’t stayed in contact with her. We are not connected on social media. She equally has not reached out to me.

Then last June, it was brought to my attention, that a little girl passed away unexpectedly a few suburbs away. I won’t go into details for anonymity reasons, but this story was on local news stations and traveling through Facebook feeds and it honestly took me a few days to “hear” the story, and to connect the dots of who the child was and how I was connected to her. I was in shock and disbelief of her passing and sad for the family and those around them. My heart literally ached. As much as I wanted to reach out to the mother, I didn’t. I figured it wouldn’t matter if she heard from me or not. Eventually I purchased a Sympathy card to send, however that never got sent.

After I digested what happened for a few days, I felt like I started seeing a little girl around me. Of course new in the development of my gifts, I questioned myself that maybe I was just “making this up.” We’d have some short conversations, (none of which discussed how she passed). Usually in my bedroom or while I was in my bathroom off my bedroom getting ready – I seem to get more conversations and ear buzzing in those two rooms. (In fact, I once had a reading and it was brought up that the gal who was reading me saw me laying in my bed with a number of spirits/guides around me.)

The final conversation that I remember having with her was while I was brushing my teeth before bed. I told her that she needed to go visit her mom, her dad and her brother in their dreams that night and tell them that she loves them and to tell them good bye.  (I remember thinking that they needed the “good bye dream” for closure. I couldn’t explain why I felt that way, it just came into my head.) After she disappeared after that conversation, I never saw her again. I can only assume that she crossed over, though I never actually saw it happen. When this did happen, I really didn’t know how to cross people over. I can’t say that I 100% do, even now as I write this. I also don’t have any relationship with her family, so I won’t learn that way, either.

As I decide to put the card away with my other stationary, I realize that the card was irrelevant compared to the prayers and love that I sent, and the conversations that I had with the child. I still pray for her family from time-to-time and send love and light to her mother.

It is also interesting where these gifts take me in this lifetime and how we are all inter-connected. Was the purpose of my relationship with my “work friend” tied to the future interaction that I didn’t know at the time I’d be having with her deceased daughter?

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.