[Harlem] Wizards, Symbols and Signs and What about that Shade?

I am sharing this post with you so you can see how much those of us who are sensitive try to balance so much all at once while trying to act like nothing behind the scenes is going on. As well as how Spirit can help you out with even the little things.

Last night our school district put on a fundraiser where the Harlem Wizards performed and did some interactive activities with the audience. A day or two before the event, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go as large crowds can still be exhausting to the Empath in me no matter how I protect myself. I asked that, “My family only still go to this event if we have a fun time and make a happy memory by going.”

Last night I got selected from the audience to play a game called “Shazam” which was like “Name that Tune” for theme songs to old T.V. shows. They gave a practice song at the beginning of the game.  It was the theme song to the show “Fresh Prince of Bell Air.” I saw the top half of Will Smith’s body dressed in 90s garb with his hat jumping out at me. I said, “DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince of Bell Air.” (I gave more than I needed to, but you get the idea of how the game works.

One of my children were also called up to play along. He was placed in front of a basketball hoop.  For every song that I named correctly, he was going to get to move closer to the basket in the hopes that he’d be close enough to make a basket and the end of the game and win a prize.

So much went through my head in a matter of seconds, which seemed much longer as I was taking care of so much at one time in my head. First, I was trying to listen to the directions that I was being given in front of a gymnasium full of people. At the same time, I threw up a request for some divine assistance. I asked that “I get most of the answers right and that I not make a fool of myself in front of this gym full of people.”

Winning the game was furthest from my mind as I don’t think that even registered at that point. I was more concerned about following directions and not falling flat in front of a gym full of people.  Technically we (those of us who have a strong gift of intuition) aren’t to use our “gifts” to win things that we benefit from (you don’t see a bunch of intuitives hitting it big in Vegas now, do you?), but I wasn’t asking to “win” just act with “dignity and grace” in front of the crowd.

When it registered that my son (who doesn’t like to be the center of attention) was also being called up and that he was going to have to make a basket in the game (and that basketball isn’t exactly his specialty, let alone in front of a gym full of people), I sent up another request that “I can do my best at this game so that he can get as close as possible to the basket.” Again, not for the sake of winning, but to spare him from not making it with all eyes on him. I asked that “he please have assistance in making the shot when it comes time.”

Playing “Shazam” with “Swoop” 1.18.2020

During all of this, the MC was doing his spiel and giving me and the crowd directions. (I was to relay on the audience to help me with answers if I needed assistance.) I was trying to keep one eye on my son but yet be alert enough to know what I was supposed to be doing, all while sending up a few requests to the other side…and then I felt it…the shade being thrown at me by two female individuals who were to the right of me in the audience, toward the center, in the bleachers. While being told where to stand by the MC, I asked that I not absorb the negativity that they were sending in my direction and that it be reflected back to them. (Which really, wasn’t the right thing for me to do. The protecting of my energy was, but what I should have done was ask that the negative energy that they were sending my way be turned into positive energy to help somebody who needed it.) Under the circumstances I didn’t think that far or rationally.

Harlem

Then the songs started and the game began and images started popping into my head. (The gift of Clairvoyance.) The first song was from the show “Golden Girls.” I got an image of the kitchen table and wall paper that was in the show. (Got that one right.) Next was the theme song from the show “Friends.” I first saw some letters that I couldn’t make out, and then some dots between the letters jumping out at me and then I saw the word “Friends.” (Got that one.) Then the theme song from “Full House” played. I saw a gray town house and then I saw hilly streets and a trolley, like you would find in San Francisco. (I got that one correct as well.) Next, the theme song from the show “Cheers” played. When the song started, I felt like I was sitting at a bar and looking at the door. First a man walked in who I didn’t recognize and then as I was blurting out the answer, I saw the character “Norm” pop up.

The next song, I had issues with but looking back, images were given to me. I saw a bring wall, a sidewalk and it was dark like it was at night. I also saw some kind of a moving line or conveyor belt. I knew the images that I was seeing, but I couldn’t interpret them. I tried asking the audience for the answer but due to the acoustics in the gym, I was unable to make out what they were saying. Time ran out and I didn’t get that answer correct. The answer was “Lavern & Shirley.” As I said, the images were right, I just didn’t know how to use them. In the beginning of the show, Lavern and Shirley are shown walking down the street arm in arm, at night, alongside a row of brownstones singing “schlemiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!” They also worked at a beer factory in the show which was also shown at the beginning of each show.

The final song was from the show “Different Strokes.” I got an image of my children watching TV in my family room. In the image the TV was on and I saw the back of my kids heads. My kids recently were into watching Different Strokes and the Facts of Life. (One played right after the other.) I first answered “Facts of Life” based on the image I got but then quickly changed my answer to “Different Strokes.”

I got all but one answer correct. My son was able to take multiple steps closer to the basket to attempt his shot. I am happy to say that he made it!!!

It wasn’t until later in the evening when I got home that it hit me. I had assistance from the other side. (I still get “wowed” when this happens.) What I asked for help with was granted. I asked to not look like a complete fool and for my son to make the basket. Both were a success. More importantly we had a great time and made a great family memory.

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The Magic of Christmas

As you get older, it can be hard to find. The magic of Christmas. Besides getting wrapped up in the busyness of the season, similar to weddings, I feel that the holidays, bring out the ugly in people. More often than not, stress and family drama block us from seeing what is important this time of year.

My husband and I have hosted Christmas day at our house for the last few years. We invite people from both sides of the family including extended family. Some show, some don’t. Others don’t even bother to RSVP. Some are pleasant when they are here. Others are oblivious to boundaries or manners but they are family and it is what it is. Because of the cast of characters at holiday time, or the family dynamic, stress can sometimes be a factor in the days leading up to and during family gatherings.

I had an appointment with one of my mentors today.  Through energy work, she helped me to connected with my higher self and to get some answers and “wisdom” as I like to call it. I am sharing this experience with you in the hopes that perhaps it will help you to focus on what is important during this time of year.

During my session, I found it hard to relax and to connect, especially at the beginning. It is always hard to turn my mind off. Eventually I got into a meditative-like state and I started to feel like I was floating on air. I then got an image that looked like a home, my home, but it wasn’t exactly my home. I acknowledged where I was.

I then got a message that I (as we all do) will be tested by the Universe to see if I’ve learned my lessons along the way here in this place, we call life, (the physical world) or “life-sctinsilhool.” The subject of not taking responsibility for other’s choices, actions or deeds came up. I was told when people let us down (in the case of the holidays, maybe they let us or those around us down by not showing up for whatever reason) to not take it personally, to not take on the burden or guilt (or the guilt that others project on me) of their actions and to just “take these people for who they are.” I was reminded that I am not the one making the decision for other people when they don’t show up. That is their own choice to miss out and to lie in the bed that they have made.

Next, a person started to appear. It looked like the Virgin Mary. Next, I was in a room with a long table. The room looked like a dinning room in the medieval times. The walls were made of brick and there were flames on sconces along the walls that provided light. I looked around and I was seated at a table with a handful of people who were also seated. I couldn’t make them all out. Many seemed older than I but I couldn’t see all of the faces. I look next to me and the only face or person that I am able to make out is that of a man who looks like “St. Nick.” Not like someone you’d see dressed in a shopping mall as he looked more nostalgic than that. He was wearing white gloves. In my vision, I saw the white gloves hand me something. It was a bright light. When I asked what it was, the response was “magic!” At first, I was confused.

In my vision, the St. Nick-looking man turned into a Wizard, meaning he started to look more magical and more wizard-like. Sort of like Merlin the Magician with a pointy hat and long beard. He and I then appeared to be standing in my family room together, sort of behind my couch, observing my parents and children together. He said to “Let the magic out of the box and let it do its thing!”

His message was that the “magic” he was showing me was “the spirit of Christmas” and that “togetherness is the gift of Christmas.” A gift that we should enjoy. A gift we should appreciate. And a gift that we shouldn’t waste. (“How many years does everyone in the family have left to be together here in the physical world?”) I also got the messages that when things get tense, that I should send light and holiday spirit to people and situations that need it. Though this experience was my individual experience, I think that many can relate and translate it into their own life during the holiday season.

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Psychic Anxiety, Not Your Typical Anxiety Attack

Time and time again I have had episodes happen in my life and people around me, some who have my best interest at heart and others, well, we all have them… are quick to say, “Oh! It must be Anxiety!” Some will follow up by offering a doctor’s number, a prescription recommendation or breathing techniques, or even a change in diet. Others will suggest that I pray or recite a verse or two from the Bible when going through this.

anxiety-disorder-test-your-fear-level-e1422919833373I have tried the praying thing and though I believe that there is a higher being in charge upstairs, the praying and Bible verse reciting doesn’t do a darn thing when you are in the thick of an attack. (Contrary to what some of my friends say who are strong in their Christian Faith.)

The meds and doctors, well, I refuse to take a pill for this. (My husband who has really no knowledge of my spiritual gifts has told me time and time again to just go get something at the doctor to make me feel better. I have known others who have treated their anxiety with medication. Some say it helps, others, to me, are in a fog when they are on such medication.

I once had a chiropractor who specialized in nutrition once tell me that the foods I am eating could be tied in with panic attacks. I’ve tried eating differently at times, and I can’t say that I have found the perfect cure.

It has been awhile since I have had one of these extreme episodes and today was far from the worst that I had, but it was still no walk in the park. And to note, whenever I have one of these, I can’t usually seem to connect them to any certain thing going on in my life at the moment, any certain stressor, or any specific trigger.

They. Just. Happen!

Today started out like any other morning. It is summer and the kids are off from school but summer camps are all in full swing. My husband is out of state, traveling for work, but that happens often. Right before I got the kids up to start the normal breakfast routine, I got some major itching. It was like having allergies, when your skin is itchy but it kept moving around my body and in all sorts of random places. It was such extreme itching that I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. (I’ve been down this path before, with the itching and doctors have chalked it up to hormones or allergies or at the end of the day, nothing that they can really pin point exactly. I’ve been subscribed all kinds of allergy meds and had all kinds of tests run. Nobody can ever really find what is really wrong with me.)

By the time the kids are up and we are doing our breakfast routine, I am itching like crazy, my body feels like it is vibrating and I feel the adrenaline start to rush. For a moment I did get a grip, because I felt the ringing in my ears that I get when Spirit tries to connect – though I can’t always hear what Spirit is trying to say – but then, I went back into panic mode as the ringing stopped, and the other feelings kept happening.

Since the overall feeling in my body didn’t feel right, and I am home alone with my husband out of state,  I decided to text my good friend and neighbor a street over checking to see if she’d be around today or have access to her phone in the event that I had an “emergency.” Before I got done sending her the text, my husband phones to check-in. I try explaining to him what is going on, BUT, as always, I am vague with the details and don’t fully explain everything, partially because I don’t think he takes it very seriously.

Once I sent the text to my friend, I calmed down a few minutes later. This is when things start to mess with my head. “Is it a panic attack and now that I told someone about how I am feeling it starts to go away? Great! How silly do I look?” or…I did ask God, Archangel Michael, and some of my other Guides to protect me, my children, my home and my husband (who is traveling). “Is this someone’s way to tell me everything is OK?” or “Is this someone telling me that things are NOT okay? That something bad is about to happen?” Then there is the “Wait! Am I having a real allergic reaction to something and do I need medical attention??” Better yet, “Am I about to have some sort of medical emergency with how my body feels right now?” 

Try playing the above in your head over and over again. You’ll go nuts – I have.

When it was time to take the kids to their camps, I was still feeling off, but improved – but cold. I felt cold. (“Is this my thyroid acting up??” Oh wait! That has been tested again recently. I was told all was fine.) I did my best to chat with a few parents and act as if nothing was wrong, something I’ve gotten good at over the past few years. I manage to get back to my car and run one quick errand at the grocery store, but during the errand, I felt like I was under water and shaky.

By the time I got home, I realized that I was just plain exhausted. This told me, it’s not allergies, it is not my thyroid, THIS was the crash after an adrenaline rush. Why would there be an adrenaline rush? Well, they usually show up with panic attacks.

For the next few hours I was drained. I tried to eat and hydrate with water. I didn’t feel close to myself again until I laid down for about 30 minutes or so. Not really to sleep but to recharge. Prior to laying down I did spray myself with some Palo Santo Oil (I usually mix a few drops with distilled water into a small spray bottle. I then ask that I be protected from any negative energies or spirits when I do this.) As I laid down, I asked to be grounded. I asked my Spirit Guides to protect me from any harsh or negative energies. (I pictured myself standing with them all around me shoulder to shoulder.) Then as I closed my eyes, I tried to connect with Source and envisioned myself standing in my back yard. I pictured a white light coming down from the sky and going down my whole body. I thought of my feet as roots and eventually thought of the light coming down through my body and going down one leg, while the other released anything negative or anything that didn’t serve me.

Once I got up, I felt the most normal that I have been all day. Not perfect, but the best that I had felt thus far.

I tried to spend some time during the afternoon outside. I played with some dirt in my garden as I moved a few plants around and watered a few things. I figured the fresh air and putting my hands in the dirt couldn’t hurt on a day like today.

I had the buzzing or ringing in my ears today off and on. Not as intense as this morning, but it has come and gone.

I often ask myself why I can’t figure out who is trying to contact me during these intense episodes, but I am in such a weird feeling place when it happens, I feel so blocked or locked up and can’t calm myself down to get anything. And even when I do, I still question it forward and backwards because I am so out of sorts.

Now that it is evening, I am still tired, but not as drained as I was. It won’t be until tomorrow that I will feel whole again.  Right when I think I have this Spirit thing or spiritual gifts figured out, I am reminded that I don’t. I am also reminded that the Universe will give you more (gifts) to handle, as you can handle it.

I have come across two helpful articles time and again which discuss psychic attacks (also referred to as “Spirit Pressure”) further. You may want to check them out:

https://www.sarahpetrunoshamanism.com/blog/when-my-anxiety-attack-was-actually-a-spirit/

https://www.amandalinettemeder.com/blog/2014/2/11/could-my-anxiety-be-a-sign-of-mediumship-and-psychic-abilities

 

Journal Entry: March 1, 2017

March 1, 2017

Yesterday there were storms in our area in the late afternoon  and throughout the evening. We had warnings all day, and at times in the afternoon, the sky turned that creep shade of green.

Sometimes I start to really “vibrate” when storms come through – it has to do with energy. (I can literally lay in bed sometimes and feel a storm roll through across my body before it gets here.) Other times I can get real nervous before a storm. I think that is the combination of the energy that my kids are giving off when they are scared. I also think that it can sometimes be my guides letting me know that they are close.

While making dinner, I realized that I wasn’t nervous or buzzing. I asked my guides if I should know anything about the storms that were on their way. ( I did this once before a snow storm and I felt the lights flicker above me, which they didn’t, as if it were a sign that the power might go out. I immediately went to charge my cell phone and low and behold the next morning, we were without power for many hours!) So back to last night, I got a vision of a tree out my kitchen window (where we don’t actually have a tree) and I saw the tree in the wind and it snapped in half, like in a bad storm, but I got the feeling that the tree wasn’t mine, so I interrupted that as: “we will be fine or not badly hit.”

Though at times last night the storms that rolled through started to sound scary with the wind and hail, we avoided the worst of it. Unfortunately other nearby towns had tornadoes that touched down, took down trees, ruined structures and took lives. Love, light and prayers to those involved who are dealing with grief, clean up and loss today. – MBH