So You Say…That This is Going to be “The Year” and that 365 is a Good Number?

I met up with my friend Jan today. We hadn’t seen each other since late October, though we do trade text messages and emails.  For the last year or so her and I keep discussing ways that her book can be promoted as well as the other ideas she has for future books, poetry readings and possibly workshops of some sort. During coffee she informs me how she has felt the tug to get another book started. We also have a discussion on what needs to be done to promote her and her brand. (All this before 10:30 AM, lol.) She tells me that she feels like this year is going to be a good year. That this is the year things are really going to start falling into place for her.

Over coffee, we discuss some of the things on my to-do list, some of which tie into what she is doing. Jan makes mention that this could really be the year for the both of us! (I do have to admit, I feel as though I am no longer in “stall” mode.)

After coffee we take a walk and hit a few local shops. In one of the stores, she made a small purchase. The total was $3.65. The shop owner made the comment how that number is a good one. In my head quickly, I was trying to add them up 3+6+5…. Trying to see what “lucky number” came out. Jan asks about the numbers and why they are good and the shop owner said, “Well, 365, that is how many days are in a year, right!” We both looked at each other and admitted to talking about how we had goals and things to do over the next year.

Later after lunch, we hit one more store before heading home. It was an antique store with all sorts of odds and ends. On a table were some old prayer cards. I was curious if these were funeral cards that someone was selling so I went to the one that I was drawn to and flipped it over. It was the “Prayer for a Good Year”. I skimmed it and put it down with a “huh! Look at that! How fitting for today!” (Looking back, I wish that I would have purchased it.)

 

Messages are all around us – all of the time.

 

It WILL be interesting to see what the next year brings! – MH

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Guilt That I Don’t Know What to do With This!

Well, here we go again. Today I have a morning where I am “vibrating” again. I even pass on coffee as I feel I can’t shake on the inside anymore. My heart was pounding, was dizzy. I prayed that I didn’t pass out in the shower and my kids would find me. I remember thinking: Will they even realize to call 911?? (We’ve gone through the drill many times!)

After the kids headed off to school, I headed to a friend’s house to help her and her family pack for what was an “unexpected” move, to those of us who thought we were close to her. (Not so unexpected to them.) I make it through the packing ok. Maybe because I am distracted by the work that needed to be done, or maybe because I was getting good at “holding it together” in front of others.

I headed home a little before lunch and the vibrating, heart-pounding, dizziness thing started to happen again. I decided to ask out loud: “Please go away – I am not working right now. Also, please stop making me feel sick!” (Free will!) Soon after, it was like someone flipped the switch. The vibrating feeling on the inside of my body went away. My heart stopped pounding and the dizziness disappeared. I was drained, but the feelings were gone. I had a moment of normalcy.

Later that afternoon, after one of my children got off of the bus after school, he walks in the door and tells me that one of his buddies from the neighborhood who he hangs out with often, just had his 98-year old grandfather pass away. He also mentioned that the Grandfather was living with the boy and his family when he passed.

I processed this for a while trying to piece the puzzle of my day together.

The feelings and symptoms that I had been feeling….

The “turning it off” and having it work for me earlier that afternoon…

The death that my child just informed me about….

One thing that popped into my head was the idea that the grandfather might possibly be trying to contact me. Technically, by proximity, I was the closet (and he probably thought the easiest) medium of contact that he could have used in the event that he needed help delivering a message to his family. I mean we are literally talking 5 houses down and over one….

This is one of those moments that I feel good that I may have figured a little more of this gift out, but then I am really bothered by the fact that I don’t know how to use it or how to help with it. Really a feeling of guilt like I mislead a spirit who thought that I could have helped. – MB