Integrity is Hard to Ignore When you are in the Midst of an Awakening

I have always thought of myself as an honest person. Sure I give little “white lies” to my children as needed, and maybe I don’t always tell my husband “everything” that I bought during a shopping trip, (or really much about ALL of my psychic abilities at this point – yet) but on the whole, I am an honest person, I try to be a person of my word, and I try to my best to help people and to not to hurt them.

integrity-2Though I have read that “increased integrity” (honesty) is a “symptom” of the Spiritual Awakening process, I am not sure if me noticing my integrity and the integrity (or lack thereof) of those around me is part of my awakening process alone, or if it has something to do with the way that the world itself is “waking up” and taking notice of wrongdoings. I am referring to the lack of integrity that we are taking notice of in places like the entertainment world, the political world, the medical field and in our educational and religious institutions. It is as though the masks are falling away and the truth and B.S. is starting to reveal itself. And for the record, I am far from a perfect person, but lately that kick-in-the-gut-when-something-isn’t-right-feeling keeps showing up for me again and again when I am around certain people, watching certain things or hearing certain information. The kick-in-the-gut-feeling tells me to leave the room, change the channel or to remove myself from the people I am associating with.

I have noticed examples of integrity, or lack thereof, popping up around me, as well as for other people I know.  I have a friend who recently witnessed the cracks in authority in her child’s school that she used to trust whole-heartedly. I have another friend who, in recent months, became heartbroken when she witnessed a lack of integrity from her childhood church which she now attends with her family. Another parent I know recently stepped down from his child’s PTO and another family I know removed their child from the sports team that he was part of – all situations had the same thing in common – a lack of integrity. Clearly I am not along, here.

In the last few months, I personally recognized the lack of integrity of a local, non-profit organization that I have belonged to for over five years. In my time with this organization I have seen a few things that have shown (a small number of) members’ true colors here and there, and I just sort of dismissed it and moved on, but recently I witnessed grown adults flat out lying and covering up facts to other adults about a negative situation that happened. Word had also gotten out that some members of the organization were difficult in working alongside another organization at a community event that was held during the holidays last year, among other negative rumblings about the organization throughout the community.  During my involvement, I have continually watched some of the organization’s so-called “leaders” stunt the growth of the organization for their own ego(s) and resistance to change – change that could happen for the better of the community that is serves.

integrity-1None of us have integrity 100% all of the time, but I find it hard to support and be a part of an organization, whether it be a school, a church, a local group,,  or even a local sports team that acts like this. And though I’ve dismissed a few things that I have seen in the organization during my time there, I haven’t seen things as ugly and toxic as I have in recent months. I don’t know if part of this has to do with my “gifts” and energy sensitivities, or if the crap is really just coming up to the surface. In the time leading up to me deciding to depart from the organization, I actually had visions (and I still get them) of me walking away from the organization and it imploding behind me. (Like literally exploding, smoke, explosions and all, as I walk away.) I’ve heard through the grapevine that meeting attendance has drastically shrunk at the organization’s monthly meetings so perhaps the vision was not far off.  I’ve had conversations with other members who have shared that they feel that it is time for them to also move on, though for some, it hasn’t been easy. What is also interesting that I am seeing is that a majority of those who are sticking around are those who are more toxic or have more toxic personalities. (“Like things” – or like energies – tend to stick together.)

I realize that it is not up to me to judge those who are still “driving the bus” of the organization.  When you know better, you do better and most of them don’t know any better.  Nor is it up to me to judge those who have decided to stick with the organization – for now. Through my transformation process I have learned that I don’t need to judge, I can just observe and take myself out of the dance. But in the meantime, I can do it with integrity.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.
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Not Your Typical Lightworker Job

Many chimed in with jobs like Reiki Healing, Yoga Teacher, etc. I chimed in with mine:

I am a marketing consultant and event planner, which may not be your typical “healing job” but ironically at each event I assist with, or with each client I offer “business-related” assistance to, some sort of healing or divine connection takes place that can’t be ignored.

I then had a few people ask me to explain more about how I feel the healing or divine connections, so here are some examples in no particular order that I came up with.

Let me what-to-wear-to-a-client-meeting-professional-work-office-wear-attire-women-business-formal-suit-sheath-dress-fashion-style-blog-memorandum5start by saying that I don’t share publicly in my community (yet) the metaphysical side of myself, or the gifts that I possess, with too many people, so I approach many of my “regular” business meetings and events like any “normal” person would. (What is normal, LOL!) For example, I don’t walk into an event or meeting and provide people with readings or explain to them what I can do. With that said, I don’t necessarily put the “closed for business” sign up either, as daily I ask to be a conduit between the physical and spiritual world.

I recently helped to coordinate a fundraiser to raise awareness about a disease, as well as to raise money for research in the hopes of finding a cure. One of the contacts at the venue had a best friend who passed away three years ago from the same disease. (I kept getting a long “A” sound for the deceased friend and later found out that her last name had the long “A” sound to it.) The contact at the venue was instrumental in pulling a few strings for some special things for the event. She was not able to be on-site the day of event because she already committed to taking appointments that day to do hair for people who are shut in and unable to go and get their hair done. (This is important to note later, remember that she does hair on the side.) She was upset that she wasn’t able to be there, but she felt good doing things for the event prior. As if she was doing this for her friend who had passed. I could see it in her over the course of our planning meetings together.

Fast forward to the day of the event. My contact had a friend purchase some raffle tickets on her behalf, (again, she felt like she was doing this in support of her friend). Later that afternoon, she won a gift basket full of hair products. Something she could clearly use as someone who does hair on the side. And someone who doesn’t have access to getting discounted hair products. Confirmation of this was when the ticket was being drawn and her name was read. I got the tingling head thing that I get, followed by me tearing up a bit knowing what was really going on here. I truly believe that her friend had helped her win that prize from heaven. (I have seen things like this happen time and again and I call it being “gifted from heaven.”)

And if that wasn’t enough, my venue contact won again. She won the 50/50 drawing. (A 50/50 drawing is when participants buy raffle tickets for X-amount of money and the money raised is split with the winner and the event’s cause.) When she was told that she won, I could tell that she personally struggled with the idea of donating the money back to our cause, but at the end of the day, she needed it and her friend knew it. A few days later after the event, I could feel that her (my venue contact) energy was lighter.

Also at this event, every time I did a money drop, or when we counted up funds at the end of the event, I kept getting triple digit numbers somewhere within the dollar amounts – Angel numbers. This confirmation was for me, as I called in my guides and angels to assist me with the event and the numbers were confirmation for me that they were with me and working behind the scenes.

Another client of mine is a book author. She wrote about her journey after her husband’s unexpected death. I recently helped her to exhibit at her first author’s fair. (She knows about my gifts, but nobody else there was the wiser.) As we were setting up, there was a man that I kept crossing paths with. Holding doors for, making small talk with, etc. and low and behold, we go to my client’s space and find that he is right next to her! If that wasn’t enough, he authored a book about his late wife and the love letters and notes that they wrote to each other over the years. My client and the other author chatted off and on throughout the event. They kept comparing notes together about their similar grieving journeys. When my client would walk away from the table, he’d reach over and share with me parts of his personal story and I would confirm that my client went through similar thoughts, feeling and emotions. As we hit on different things you could see his face relax and sensed that he got some reassurance that he needed.

Additionally, he and my client exchanged information to meet for coffee someday. While I don’t feel that there is a love connection to be made here, I think that he is going to be an important stepping stone for my client both professionally and personally.

At this same event I took some time to check out some of the other authors in the room. There were two that I was drawn to. The first was an older gentleman who had a book that looked to have a paranormal theme to it. After first talking to him, I didn’t get much out of him and was confused why I felt the need to meet him and learn about his book series. Later, he approached me and we talked some more. He used to be a private detective and still does consulting work. (Bingo! This is why this was important!) I eventually would like to use my gifts to help with unsolved cases and missing persons cases. He and I exchanged contact information and after the event we exchanged a few emails a few days later. I came clean about my gifts to him. He told me that his books have to do with a detective who learned of his gifts while trying to solve a case. He did ask to meet up for coffee someday in the future, and though I don’t feel the need to meet up with him right now, we aren’t done yet – we will circle back to each other and I feel it may be for a case that may need some help someday.

Sometimes I learn things about me and things that help me to grow while working. Years ago when I was at a marketing event, I sat with a lady from the office that I was representing. She shared with me that she thinks she was put on this earth to give people messages. For example, she could be on a bus, and share with a complete stranger something that they needed to hear. This took place prior to (what I think was) the start of my awakening. I thought that the concept neat and she woke my mind to the idea of this. (Little did I know that I would be doing the same someday myself.) Later in the event, as we got more comfortable with each other, she dropped a big hint to me that a specific man in the office was “A really great man. A great husband and a great father.” (She laid it on thick and I felt some zinging energy at the end of the statement that she made to me. Again, this is before I understood all that I am and the gifts that I possess.) The statement, because of how it was delivered, sat with me for a moment. I felt myself going over my own actions in my head. I then realized that though she delivered that statement to me, that the message was more for HIM. (This is one of those times that you wish you had responded back in a witty way, but thought of the comeback too late. Something like: “Maybe you should remind him that he is a good husband and father.”)

And, it was my second job out of college where I befriended a co-worker who was instrumental in putting me in touch with the lady who did my very first reading. She would also share with me the signs and symbols that she would get from her mother who had passed, which helped me to expand my understanding of the other side.

One time, when I was going around town gathering raffle prizes from local businesses I had arranged a time to go and pick a gift certificate from a local business. I have done business with the owner in the past and was aware of some of her ongoing health issues. Additionally, at that time (thanks to social media) I knew that she was in a negative funk. While I was picking up the certificate, she unloaded on me some of her troubles. It hit me that my purpose was not so much for the gift certificate, but for giving her some positive energy (and a different perspective on things) to help her to negate the negative energy around her.  (I tend to need a nap after such encounters.) Later I got validation that things were more positive for her.

I can go on and on and expand on these, but I think that this is enough for now.

Until next time.

Love & Light!

Maura

When the Person Who Got Your Job Eliminated, Unexpectedly Loses a Child Who Needs to Cross Over

Today I was cleaning my office and I came across a sympathy card that I purchased but never filled out or sent. It was from last summer. Last June to be exact. It was for a woman who I used to work with who lost her child unexpectedly.

More and more as my gifts develop, I find myself intending to send sympathy cards but at the end of the day, I don’t always send anymore. (Unless I feel a real tug to share a message from the other side with someone who is grieving. That has happened, but I write the card as if it is from me, not the person who has passed.) I feel that by me sending love and light to the situation, the healing from that is greater than a card that may get lost in the shuffle of transition.

Let’s back up a few years. I was hired on at a non-profit company in a marketing/communications role. The person who lined up the interviews, the one who I thought that I clicked with, who I actually became good “office friends” with, was ready to take her Maternity Leave. She was in a hurry to get the position filled and due to the urgency, I was the one the job was offered to. I don’t know if I was the right one for the job, but I was the lucky winner.

The climate at this “company” was interesting. Really, exhausting at times trying to keep up with the political non-sense that happened behind the scenes and the constant scheming done by others. Looking back, I think that a lot of the exhaustion came from being zapped by such a vast cast of characters as an Empath. (At the time, I was clueless about my gifts.) Additionally, I remember finding myself shutting down a lot when my antenna would go up around unauthentic people. I also recall seeing employees mouths move about what they were doing, needed done, etc., but remember thinking what I was hearing and thinking did not matching up. I remember at times just trying to keep my head down and do my job. The individual who hired me, always seemed like a beacon of light in the craziness. She was one to vent to and would give insight that usually made everything better and kept me on track. That was, until a few years later when I became pregnant and took the standard Maternity Leave that most do. Right before I was out on leave, the company acquired a new President (out with the old and in with the new) and an organizational reorg was in the works. Right before leaving, the climate changed… every man (and woman) for him or herself!

While on leave, I got a call from our team admin that my departmental boss, was one of those who got canned in the re-org. Deep inside I knew that my job would be on the line now that my “protector” was gone. And part of me wanted to get canned to be home with my new baby, partly because I knew that would be easier than convincing my husband that I shouldn’t work.

Two weeks and two minutes after returning to work after Maternity Leave, I got a meeting request to meet in an out-of-the-way meeting room, with HR and the new President. Need I say more, I got my walking papers. Later I figured out that my “office friend” who hired me, jockeyed to save her job while she threw me under the bus, along with a few others. When this happened, I was hurt by her. Now looking back, I thank her as it was a blessing in disguise to be out of that place. Needless to say how things ended, I haven’t stayed in contact with her. We are not connected on social media. She equally has not reached out to me.

Then last June, it was brought to my attention, that a little girl passed away unexpectedly a few suburbs away. I won’t go into details for anonymity reasons, but this story was on local news stations and traveling through Facebook feeds and it honestly took me a few days to “hear” the story, and to connect the dots of who the child was and how I was connected to her. I was in shock and disbelief of her passing and sad for the family and those around them. My heart literally ached. As much as I wanted to reach out to the mother, I didn’t. I figured it wouldn’t matter if she heard from me or not. Eventually I purchased a Sympathy card to send, however that never got sent.

After I digested what happened for a few days, I felt like I started seeing a little girl around me. Of course new in the development of my gifts, I questioned myself that maybe I was just “making this up.” We’d have some short conversations, (none of which discussed how she passed). Usually in my bedroom or while I was in my bathroom off my bedroom getting ready – I seem to get more conversations and ear buzzing in those two rooms. (In fact, I once had a reading and it was brought up that the gal who was reading me saw me laying in my bed with a number of spirits/guides around me.)

The final conversation that I remember having with her was while I was brushing my teeth before bed. I told her that she needed to go visit her mom, her dad and her brother in their dreams that night and tell them that she loves them and to tell them good bye.  (I remember thinking that they needed the “good bye dream” for closure. I couldn’t explain why I felt that way, it just came into my head.) After she disappeared after that conversation, I never saw her again. I can only assume that she crossed over, though I never actually saw it happen. When this did happen, I really didn’t know how to cross people over. I can’t say that I 100% do, even now as I write this. I also don’t have any relationship with her family, so I won’t learn that way, either.

As I decide to put the card away with my other stationary, I realize that the card was irrelevant compared to the prayers and love that I sent, and the conversations that I had with the child. I still pray for her family from time-to-time and send love and light to her mother.

It is also interesting where these gifts take me in this lifetime and how we are all inter-connected. Was the purpose of my relationship with my “work friend” tied to the future interaction that I didn’t know at the time I’d be having with her deceased daughter?

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.