I Don’t Look Like Your Stereotypical Love-and-Light, Patchouli, Intuitive Medium, and I was Disregarded for it

I recently went to an event that took place about a half hour from where I live that promoted itself as a one-stop location for holistic, health, and wellness. Communication about the event advertised its vendors specializing in such things as: Body and Energy Work, Tarot Readers, Mediums, and Astrologers, Henna Artists, Musicians and Local Artisans, Crystal Vendors, as well as other vendors having Holistic and Natural Products for both family and pets.

Since my “Awakening” I have not attended any metaphysical-related events. My Acupuncturist was going to be exhibiting at the event so I decided that I would go and check it out and if nothing else, I would be supporting my Acupuncturist by stopping by and saying hello to her. I also figured that I could use my Acupuncturist as an excuse to my husband as to why I was going to go and check out this “Health Fair” as I referred to it to him. (Wink! Wink!)

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I figured what’s the worst that could happen, I get back in my car and leave?? I did let my Acupuncturist know that I was thinking of going. Her response was, “I’m curious to know thoughts on it if you do go.” (Looking back, this was a clue. A clue for me.)

The day was a bit chilly as it was early November. I dressed as I normally would. As if I was meeting a friend out to lunch. I had on a black, long-sleeved cotton shirt and on top of that I put a red, tartan plaid wrap on. I wore a pair of jeans and tall, (flat) black boots and I finished my look with black satchel handbag that I use (and beat up) almost every day. I did my hair normally and slapped on the usual makeup.  If anything I looked a little “Fall-ish” in my outfit, but I didn’t think anything of it as it is something that I would wear on many occasions when leaving the house. (See the image below for the wrap that I wore. I originally bought it from a boutique in my hometown, but it is still available online from different stores.)

plaid wrap

I got to the venue and made my way to the entrance. A man and woman arrived around the same time and both were friendly and we made small talk. I was sort of excited to see what was on the other side of the door as I had never been to this event before. Once I walked into the main area of the venue, I heard someone playing a guitar and saw a bunch of tables organized around the room with vendors at each of them. There was a variety of items on display. I made my way to a jewelry vendor. I started to look at a few things on her table. I noticed that she didn’t really make eye contact with me after her last customer walked away. I said “Hello” and she looked up and said “Hi” and then looked away.

I made my way to a few more tables. I stopped by a few crystal vendors – one acknowledged me, the other just looked at me and carried on with whatever she was doing. I then stopped at a holistic pet booth. I purchased a product there, but the vendor didn’t seem very grateful for the sale or conversation,but perked up when the next person behind me started looking at her products.

I eventually made my way to the part of the room where the psychics were giving readings and where energy workers were trying to sell their “healing packages.”  I sort of just kept wandering around the room and observed. I tried to see if I got the urge to sit for any of the readers. I did feel the pull to go to an energy worker, but once she started talking, I realized that she was trying to sell me on a package deal for a lot of money, which was in essence the same thing that my Reiki gal already does for me for the fraction of the price.

I did see my acupuncturist and stopped by her booth to say hello. She greeted me with a big hug and said that she was happy to see me. I didn’t want to take up too much of her time as she had a bunch of attendees in her space trying an acupuncture treatment and I wanted to be respectful.

I walked around some more sizing up the psychics in the room. I’ll be honest, I didn’t care for the energy that most gave off. (I suppose that I can say the same thing about many of the vendors who were there as well.) I did come across a local intuitive life coach who I have heard of and follow on social media. I decided to sit for a reading with him. The reading went well and had some good information in it, so not all was lost that afternoon. After the reading I stopped by my Acupuncturist’s booth again and told her that I was going to head out. We said that we’d see each other at my next appointment.

On my way home I processed what I saw, “felt” and observed at the event. I was a bit surprised that my hair wasn’t blown back. (I like to use that phrase. I got it from a good friend of mine.) I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t meet someone there who may help me on my “journey” shall we say. I was but yet I really wasn’t surprised that though I was in a setting with self-proclaimed “spiritual,” and “love and light” sort of people, it wasn’t further from the truth. I have always known but proved to myself after being at this event that I don’t fit the ideal look or mold of a light worker, intuitive medium, whatever you want to call me.  However, I don’t fit in in most places that I go, so why should this be any different?

The best spiritual teachers, vendors, shop owners, energy workers and psychics whom I have met are accepting of all, no matter what they look like or where they come from. They have no judgement. Clearly the people at this event are not part my “tribe” as they say.

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We are Just Here to Celebrate a Wedding – and That is It.

outdoor weddingWhen those with gifts are close to a situation or the situation is about us, we can’t always bet a read on it. I myself can feel a block where I don’t receive information and other times I feel my brain getting in the way and filling in the blanks or re-writing what I get.

Today I had a visit with my “massage therapist” (that is how I refer to her when it comes to my husband) who really is a reiki master as well as a kind, gentle woman who has many other spiritual gifts. I should just really drop the word “massage” and refer to her as my “therapist” because every time I leave from a visit, I am 100x better emotionally, physically and spiritually than when I showed up.

Before each appointment starts, Mrs. A. (as we’ll call her) will ask me, “What are we working on today.” Sometimes I will point out an area where I have been experiencing chronic pain, other times I will discuss with her my latest health issues or health mysteries and then there are times like today, where physically I am feeling fine for the most part but I have something going on behind the scenes that I need to get off my chest or I am seeking answers for. Walking in today I feel rather fine. I have been feeling like I have been floating on air as I was recently Reiki Level 1 attuned. Today, the only thing I see in front of me is an upcoming family wedding. To most, it sounds like a fun time, but in this case, I have an interesting cast of characters who I will be coming in contact with. Many of whom left me with a very negative feeling the last time I saw them.

I describe what happened in this blog past: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As the time has drawn nearer for this event, I have found it hard to lose the ten pounds that I was hoping to lose (emotional protection), I have found it more difficult than usual to find something to wear, which isn’t like me. (I chalk it up to I don’t know what I am walking in to.) And lastly, my husband would prefer to not even go but since this is my side of the family, I make the final call. And though my new motto is, “I am down to weddings and funerals” for those who either cause me pain, drama or don’t serve my highest good, I know that if I don’t show up to this event, that would be the nail in the coffin that could finish my relationship with this side of the family, and I don’t know what the repercussions could be in the future that I may regret.

I share my concerns with Mrs. A. on how I don’t know how to handle going to the wedding. I don’t know what I will be walking in to or how people will react to me.  I also give her tid-bits and quick back stories as they relate to my Aunt and a cousin, to name a few. I have caught visions of this event but I question if I am “making things up or not.” (I still have an issue on trusting what I get, especially when I am related to the situation.) I am confident that I will have guides and loved ones from the other side walking with me that evening so that has given me hope.

Mrs. A. has spiritual gifts as well and can get a reading on things. She paused for a moment and tells me that their problem is not me. It is their issue(s). I relaxed a bit when I heard that. She pointed out that I don’t connect with them and they equally don’t understand me, but that is OK. She also reminded me that we are all different and that is a good thing. How boring if we were all the same.

During my secession, Mrs. A. had me close my eyes and try to relax. We chat about what stones I should wear or carry at the wedding. She suggests Pyrite and rose quarts. The rose quarts is to remind me to show love while I am there. (Pyrite has protective vibes, helps with self-confidence and can provide a more powerful vibration.)  When I finally get my head clear and in a relaxed state (which I is never quick for me) I found myself in a sandy area with the sun behind me Sort of like approaching twilight, but not quite. She prompted me and asked what I was wearing. I was barefoot and dressed in what looked to be a long flowy dress sort of like what a belly dancer would wear but I wasn’t showing my stomach and there weren’t any gold decorative coins sewn on it. It was more conservative. I even had something draped on my head. I was sitting in the sand.

snakeShe asked what I saw in front of me. I saw a basket, sort of like the type you see a snake start dancing out of. Low and behold there was a snake. It was moving back and forth, not in a scary way, but in a rhythmic way. I pointed out to Mrs. A that I didn’t feel threatened by the snake or feel that I was in danger. She said “good! I am glad that you don’t see this as a negative thing because it is not!”

She asked me to look closer at the snake and describe it. I told her that I could see the scales up close and then I looked into the eyes. The eyes weren’t scary though. I told her they remind me of looking into my dog’s eyes. There was a gentle feel to them.

Mrs. A. chimed in and said, “So they look like unconditional love?”

I responded with a “yes!” And then add, “Like my relatives love me unconditionally.”

The vision ended with me scooping up the basket (snake and all) and carrying it under my arm. I walked down the sand, which felt like it had water running alongside of it so I feel like I am walking away down a beach toward what is now a sunset.

Mrs. A. asks me what I look like as I am walking away. I tell her that I feel that I am confident and wise as I walk away. (I snickered at the “wise” part as it felt conceded to say.) She asked if I was looking behind me when I was walking. I firmly felt that no, I am not looking behind me, just forward. Right then and there it hits me. The past is the past. I am not looking back there anymore.

Once I process that a bit, Mrs. A. has me picture myself at the wedding and asks me what I see.

I saw a large round table with a spot light beaming down to illuminate the table top. There were 8 or 10 chairs around it. I was the only one sitting at the table, with my back to the corner of the room. The rest of the chairs were empty. It was as if I was in the corner observing the room and the dance floor in front of me. The room itself was dark except where the spot light was illuminating my table.

Mrs. A. then tells me to switch seats so that I am sitting with my back to the dance floor. She asks me who is coming up to me while I am sitting. I sense that it is my uncle (the husband to the aunt who is the source of issues and drama). I have never had an issue with this uncle but due to whatever fall-out took place that changed my aunt to be negative towards me, I haven’t really had much of a relationship with him in the last year or so. In my vision, my uncle starts out by clearing his throat. I mention that to Mrs. A and she says that clearing of the throat is like trying to clear a throat chakra. (Wow! How interesting!! I never put two and two together.) She asks me to describe what we are talking about. I tell her that he is asking me what has happened. (Meaning with my Aunt.) Why are things the way they are? I tell him, he nods, and then we part ways with everything being fine and calm between us.

Mrs. A. asks who comes in next. I tell her I see my sister. She walks up and pulls up a chair next to me and sits down. Mrs. A. adds that my sister looks excited and is talking a lot, like she’s had a few drinks. I told her that I agree, that is what I am seeing. She asks me who comes up to us while we are talking. I say I think that it is my Dad. He comes up to us, says a smart-ass comment and leaves. My sister rolls her eyes. Mrs. A. keeps encouraging me and says, “Yes, you are right!” She then asks me,  “What is your sister so excited about? What is she telling you?”

Well, at this point, my brain starts to interfere and want to fill in the blanks. I presume she wants to bitch about my parents. (Mrs. A. says, “No!”) I tried really hard but didn’t get anything more out of her. Mrs. A. said that I will just have to wait until the wedding to find out.

wedding_vendor_dance_floor_luxury_interview_occasionlabcom_7Next she asks me if I see a white light. I say, “Yes.” She asks me where the light is and I tell her it is on the dance floor. She tells me to go there. As I am walking to the dance floor she points out what I am wearing. She points out that my dress is flowing and I am gliding or floating with ease and confidence. I start to slow-dance with my husband on the dance floor. She asks me if people are there and I say that I see them but they look to be in the shadows. I don’t see their faces, maybe just their eyes.

As I dance more, Mrs. A asks if I start to see the people. I say that I do and that they look to be emerging into the light now. I see their faces and they are looking at me smiling. She points out that all is fine and positive with the people around me.

This vision stops and things move on to what looks to be the next day. The day after the wedding. Mrs. A. asks me where I am at. I tell her that I am at the party the morning after. I am the only one there, there are the tables where people sat, chairs scattered about and things left on tables. She asks me how I feel about where I am at. I tell her that I feel good. That it wasn’t that bad. She asked, “sort of like you are reflecting and realized that it wasn’t that bad and that you had fun?” I responded with a “yes!” Mrs. A. then gives me some advice and more of the message: She reminds me that I glow with love and that I can’t get mad. (Basically because I am radiating love and light.) The wedding is not a place for a family fight. And that we are here (at the wedding) to celebrate the bride and groom. She also reminds me that I need to have my wall down so that I can radiate.

Before the secession concluded I did ask Mrs. A to validate a few things that I got in regard to the day of the Wedding just to be sure I wasn’t crazy or making things up. She validated for me that yes, it will be cold the day of the wedding. (The wedding and reception are taking place outdoors.) I asked her if there was a connection between my uncle, a watch and the wedding day. (I’ve picked up on this for over a year now but started to think that I was making it up.) She confirmed that I will get validation at the wedding about this but suggested that I don’t say anything directly as I may freak my Uncle out. It will be too much for him to take in that day. I also ask her if things resolve with my cousin. She confirmed that she will reach out to me in time. I respond back, “Why, because she is looking for a reading from me? And Mrs. A. confirmed yes. I tell her that I am not sure that I want to read for family. (Personally I think that I am going to find it hard to give neutral readings and leave my personal opinion out of things. As of now, I also find it hard to give healing messages to those who have wronged me or talked about me behind my back on numerous occasions. You’ve also heard the expression “don’t shoot the messenger” haven’t you? Well, I don’t need people not liking what information they are getting through a reading though I know that Spirit delivers what needs to be heard. I am just the face of it. The conduit.)

Lastly, I ask her if my aunt and I will make up. In the months previous, I keep getting visions of my aunt coming up to me with tears in her eyes. I see her dressed in like a lavender mother-of-the-groom dress though I don’t believe that she’ll actually be wearing lavender at the wedding. I also don’t see her bringing anything up at the wedding.

Mrs. A. responds with, “Let’s see what you get” and I started another vision. I saw myself in my office with cards laid out. She asked me to do a spread and tell her what I get. (At first I was like, “how is this going to work?” but I just went with it.)

I laid out three cards and I got different symbols. The first one was “Justice” which told me that justice is in my favor with the situation with my Aunt. The next had to do with balance. Then another had to do with blocking. I was the one blocking the healing. For kicks I “pulled” another card in my vision. (I usually pull an extra just to see if there is more to a message.) On the final card was an image of a newly found Guide that I was introduced to a few weeks ago. Her name is Rose. Rose appeared on the card and winked at me. I got the message to observe.

I tell her that I see myself at my Aunt’s house. In her kitchen specifically. Like my Aunt invited me over. We are getting along in my vision. Like we put things behind us. I still feel that I will have her at arm’s length but things will improve from where they are here and now.

My sessions with Mrs. A. never seem to disappoint.

61deba6a24b9c7d066b4753a1e62c05cAs I am walking out, Mrs. A mentions one last thing to me. She mentions that maybe it is up to me to heal the family and to break the negative cycle. (They cycle that someone is always on the outs. The black sheep. The one who is critiqued and picked apart.)

After an appointment with Mrs. A. I always get signs or symbols along the way home that tie back to my secession. On the way home, the song “Amber is the color of your Energy” by 311 came on. The song hasn’t been popular in years and it isn’t one you hear often on the radio.

The lyrics have to do with a woman who is beautiful and sweet that she radiates like the sun… the singer feels her energy and her love.

The “gemstone” Amber, (which is really fossilized resin) possesses very old energy. With this old energy comes the acquired wisdom of the earth! Additionally, it is described as a warm, cheerful, wise, protective, and healing stone. It will discharge all negative moods, and it will deflect negative energies that other people may direct at you.

Either way or meaning(s) translate back to the session that I just had.

Wish me luck.

The big day is in May and we’ll see how things unfold!

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Stale Smoke and the Pharmacist

So here is one of those things that make you go “Hmmm…” I don’t know exactly what to make of it, but I really feel that nothing happens by coincidence. I just wish that I knew what to do with this.

Yesterday I was hand-shampooing a padded piano bench that came with the piano that we recently purchased. While shampooing it, I kept getting a light, stale, smoke smell.  The piano was purchased used, and though I think that one of the home owners may have smoked, the home it came out of didn’t smell of smoke when I was there. I just chalked it up to maybe the bench was around a smoker at one time and I was getting out old “stuff” since I was using soap and water.

Later throughout the day, the smoke smell kept popping up from time to time and usually when I was NOT around the recently shampooed bench while it was trying to dry. Did I mention that we don’t have any smokers in our home, either? I sort of chalked this up to my nose’s memory. They say you remember smells – whoever “they” are!

So fast forward to this morning. While getting ready, I kept getting a whiff here and there. Again, a little perplexed why I am still smelling stale smoke, but blew it off again. I got the kids off to school and headed to a holistic pharmacy about 25 minutes away. (I found out that they carry some products that I normally purchase online and I wanted to check them out.)

The pharmacy is in a town nearby and every time I drive in that area, it spooks me out and I am not sure why. Perhaps I am picking something up there? It gives me the heebie-jeebies. So once I get there, the owner, the Pharmacist, and I chat briefly about the products that I am there to pick up and we discuss some others in his shop as well. Before heading into his office, he mentions to one of his employees something about a smoke smell he smells. I mention that I smelt it too, and tell him that it smells like stale smoke to me. He nods and agrees that stale smoke is what he smells too! I then mention that I have been getting the “smell” for the last few days. He and I just sort of looked at each other with a bit of a knowing look and carried on separately with what we were doing…. And THIS, ladies and gentleman, this is one of those times that I feel that this wasn’t coincidence and I wish that I KNEW what to do with this information. Is this possibly a Spirit trying to connect with me and, or, the Pharmacist? Was I to deliver a message that I am not fully getting???? Ugh! As neat as this is, it is frustrating that I don’t know what to do with this.