Psychic Anxiety, Not Your Typical Anxiety Attack

Time and time again I have had episodes happen in my life and people around me, some who have my best interest at heart and others, well, we all have them… are quick to say, “Oh! It must be Anxiety!” Some will follow up by offering a doctor’s number, a prescription recommendation or breathing techniques, or even a change in diet. Others will suggest that I pray or recite a verse or two from the Bible when going through this.

anxiety-disorder-test-your-fear-level-e1422919833373I have tried the praying thing and though I believe that there is a higher being in charge upstairs, the praying and Bible verse reciting doesn’t do a darn thing when you are in the thick of an attack. (Contrary to what some of my friends say who are strong in their Christian Faith.)

The meds and doctors, well, I refuse to take a pill for this. (My husband who has really no knowledge of my spiritual gifts has told me time and time again to just go get something at the doctor to make me feel better. I have known others who have treated their anxiety with medication. Some say it helps, others, to me, are in a fog when they are on such medication.

I once had a chiropractor who specialized in nutrition once tell me that the foods I am eating could be tied in with panic attacks. I’ve tried eating differently at times, and I can’t say that I have found the perfect cure.

It has been awhile since I have had one of these extreme episodes and today was far from the worst that I had, but it was still no walk in the park. And to note, whenever I have one of these, I can’t usually seem to connect them to any certain thing going on in my life at the moment, any certain stressor, or any specific trigger.

They. Just. Happen!

Today started out like any other morning. It is summer and the kids are off from school but summer camps are all in full swing. My husband is out of state, traveling for work, but that happens often. Right before I got the kids up to start the normal breakfast routine, I got some major itching. It was like having allergies, when your skin is itchy but it kept moving around my body and in all sorts of random places. It was such extreme itching that I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. (I’ve been down this path before, with the itching and doctors have chalked it up to hormones or allergies or at the end of the day, nothing that they can really pin point exactly. I’ve been subscribed all kinds of allergy meds and had all kinds of tests run. Nobody can ever really find what is really wrong with me.)

By the time the kids are up and we are doing our breakfast routine, I am itching like crazy, my body feels like it is vibrating and I feel the adrenaline start to rush. For a moment I did get a grip, because I felt the ringing in my ears that I get when Spirit tries to connect – though I can’t always hear what Spirit is trying to say – but then, I went back into panic mode as the ringing stopped, and the other feelings kept happening.

Since the overall feeling in my body didn’t feel right, and I am home alone with my husband out of state,  I decided to text my good friend and neighbor a street over checking to see if she’d be around today or have access to her phone in the event that I had an “emergency.” Before I got done sending her the text, my husband phones to check-in. I try explaining to him what is going on, BUT, as always, I am vague with the details and don’t fully explain everything, partially because I don’t think he takes it very seriously.

Once I sent the text to my friend, I calmed down a few minutes later. This is when things start to mess with my head. “Is it a panic attack and now that I told someone about how I am feeling it starts to go away? Great! How silly do I look?” or…I did ask God, Archangel Michael, and some of my other Guides to protect me, my children, my home and my husband (who is traveling). “Is this someone’s way to tell me everything is OK?” or “Is this someone telling me that things are NOT okay? That something bad is about to happen?” Then there is the “Wait! Am I having a real allergic reaction to something and do I need medical attention??” Better yet, “Am I about to have some sort of medical emergency with how my body feels right now?” 

Try playing the above in your head over and over again. You’ll go nuts – I have.

When it was time to take the kids to their camps, I was still feeling off, but improved – but cold. I felt cold. (“Is this my thyroid acting up??” Oh wait! That has been tested again recently. I was told all was fine.) I did my best to chat with a few parents and act as if nothing was wrong, something I’ve gotten good at over the past few years. I manage to get back to my car and run one quick errand at the grocery store, but during the errand, I felt like I was under water and shaky.

By the time I got home, I realized that I was just plain exhausted. This told me, it’s not allergies, it is not my thyroid, THIS was the crash after an adrenaline rush. Why would there be an adrenaline rush? Well, they usually show up with panic attacks.

For the next few hours I was drained. I tried to eat and hydrate with water. I didn’t feel close to myself again until I laid down for about 30 minutes or so. Not really to sleep but to recharge. Prior to laying down I did spray myself with some Palo Santo Oil (I usually mix a few drops with distilled water into a small spray bottle. I then ask that I be protected from any negative energies or spirits when I do this.) As I laid down, I asked to be grounded. I asked my Spirit Guides to protect me from any harsh or negative energies. (I pictured myself standing with them all around me shoulder to shoulder.) Then as I closed my eyes, I tried to connect with Source and envisioned myself standing in my back yard. I pictured a white light coming down from the sky and going down my whole body. I thought of my feet as roots and eventually thought of the light coming down through my body and going down one leg, while the other released anything negative or anything that didn’t serve me.

Once I got up, I felt the most normal that I have been all day. Not perfect, but the best that I had felt thus far.

I tried to spend some time during the afternoon outside. I played with some dirt in my garden as I moved a few plants around and watered a few things. I figured the fresh air and putting my hands in the dirt couldn’t hurt on a day like today.

I had the buzzing or ringing in my ears today off and on. Not as intense as this morning, but it has come and gone.

I often ask myself why I can’t figure out who is trying to contact me during these intense episodes, but I am in such a weird feeling place when it happens, I feel so blocked or locked up and can’t calm myself down to get anything. And even when I do, I still question it forward and backwards because I am so out of sorts.

Now that it is evening, I am still tired, but not as drained as I was. It won’t be until tomorrow that I will feel whole again.  Right when I think I have this Spirit thing or spiritual gifts figured out, I am reminded that I don’t. I am also reminded that the Universe will give you more (gifts) to handle, as you can handle it.

I have come across two helpful articles time and again which discuss psychic attacks (also referred to as “Spirit Pressure”) further. You may want to check them out:

https://www.sarahpetrunoshamanism.com/blog/when-my-anxiety-attack-was-actually-a-spirit/

https://www.amandalinettemeder.com/blog/2014/2/11/could-my-anxiety-be-a-sign-of-mediumship-and-psychic-abilities

 

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I find Playdates to be Exhausting and Draining!

So I think that I have realized this subconsciously for a while now, but today I am admitting to myself: I find playdates to be exhausting and draining!

Never mind that people think that I keep a clean house and the truth is, I scurry around like crazy before someone is due over. (And usually when someone stops by unexpectedly they may see an unexpected mess or dirty kitchen that they necessarily didn’t think that I would have. When that happens, the joke is on them, I guess.

Anyway, lately I have been finding myself dreading playdates. We live in a small town and a cozy neighborhood so it is common for the Moms to get together and chat while the kids play. It doesn’t even matter if the gathering takes place at our house, someone else’s house, or at the park. Even if I really enjoy the company of the mom, or moms there, and my kids behave decently where I don’t have to constantly be on them, I still feel like I need to crash once it is over and that we can’t have any more activities later that same day, and if I don’t have to go anywhere afterwards, that is great too!! I truly feel like the life gets sucked out of me! Sweat pants and a nap call my name right after!

I’ve started to hear a new term, well, new to me recently, that I think may explain why I feel wiped out and actually try to put off gatherings sometimes. The term that I am referring to is called: An Empath.

The definition of an Empath, according to the Urban Dictionary (which I feel is one of the more straight forward definitions and doesn’t use the word “paranormal” to freak people out) is: “A person who is capable of feeling the emotions of others despite the fact that they themselves are not going through the same situation.”  Basically an Empath absorbs the emotions of others, they can pick up or absorb emotional states, energies and surroundings. Sometimes pain or suffering can be heightened above average, too. This “gift” can result in being always tired and energetically exhausted.

I use the word “gift” because being an Empath IS a gift!  It is hugely beneficial for relating to others and the universe as a whole. I am told that this can feel like a curse until I learn how to cope with all of the stimuli that I encounter. I have been told by others that it is part of my genetic make-up and that supposedly 1 in 20 people are Empaths. As I can attest that a seemingly regular day can be overwhelming for me.  I also find it odd that 1 in 20 people have what I have but just recently I have actually heard the word: Empath!

So to get back to my original topic at hand. Yes, playdates exhaust me. Though at the time I think that I am enjoying the conversation with another Mom or neighbor, or blame my tiredness on my frantic cleaning and picking up the house beforehand, I am coming to terms with the idea that I have a gift that I don’t totally know how to use yet.

Has anyone else had a similar experience??

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.