Instagram Re-post: Funerals can be Uplifting!

I don’t mean any disrespect with the above title, but I took the work “fun” out of the word “funeral” as a confirmation of the events that I had witnessed over the past few days.

I originally posted this to my Instagram account, but I feel the nudge to post it here as well:

On our way home yesterday from a #family #funeral I looked in the back seat where my husband’s suit jacket was hanging and saw the funeral procession car sticker folded in half with the word #fun staring at me. We don’t often associate a time of mourning to be “fun” but I thought to myself for a moment…there WERE uplifting, and heartwarming moments during the past two days that put a smile on my face.

Moments like these bring people together. My husband and I met relatives we didn’t know that we had. We reconnected with others who we should have never had space between. I was able to deliver some short, simple, yet healing messages to some who needed to hear certain things. Others were able to release burdens and emotional knots. I felt forgiveness between some people. Love is the highest form of energy, and at this sad time, I felt it radiating all around. As my husband and I left the funeral luncheon, there was such a feeling of peace and contentment. ♥️🌹

#signsareeverywhere #forgiveness
#love #releaseemotionalknots #sadtimesbringpeopletogether
#lifelessons and #soulcontracts

 

Advertisements

How I Pay Homage to my Passed Loved Ones During the Christmas Season

Angel Tree 2017_bAbout four years ago, I started a new holiday tradition in our family that allows us to remember loved ones who have passed, and allows my children to learn about relatives who they may have never met. Every Christmas I put up what I call our “Angel Tree.”

I am not sure WHERE I got the idea for this, but the thought just popped into my head: I wanted an angel tree! My thought behind it was that I would hang photos of passed loved ones on the tree and then as guests (grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, etc.)  arrive to our home on Christmas Day (we usually host) my children would present them with an ornament that has the guest’s written name on it. Together they would then go over to the tree and hang it anywhere on the tree that they would like. This would give our guests an opportunity to reflect on those who have passed and give them a chance to share memories with my children, if they so choose.

I loved the idea of this, but I needed to whip up a tree and its trimmings with only a few weeks to go before Christmas that year. I was determined that I wanted the tree to be gold. I discovered at that time that gold trees were hard to come by and cost a pretty penny. I decided to peruse local garage sale sites and I came across an inexpensive artificial tree with white branches that someone was selling. I decided to purchase it and I intended to spray paint it gold!

I never like driving to places where I have never been before. The tree was located over a half hour away, which seemed like an eternity getting there. I remember asking for “help” from my guides on the way there. Asking for assistance to find where I needed to go. Assistance in being safe. Assistance in liking the tree once I got all of the way there, etc.

Well, long story short, the tree was what I was looking for and in good enough shape, so I purchased it from the seller. On the way home, I had to turn against heavy traffic which I don’t like to do, so I ended up making a right turn, and then a U-turn, to get in the direction I needed to be to head home. Before making the U-turn, I saw a state mileage sign for a major highway that if you took it all of the way, would take you right to my now deceased grandparents’ house. It made me smile. Then on the way home, I kept seeing doves along the power lines on my side of the road. It felt as if they were actually watching me drive past them. I relate doves to symbols from Spirit and I felt comforted and even more relaxed as if some of my past relatives were watching me, or guiding me home from getting the tree.

So now, how did I design my Angel Tree? Well, I first took the white tree to my back yard, laid a tarp down and spray painted the heck out of it with gold spray paint. It was a challenge to find a nice day to do this, as temperatures in the Midwest during this time of year are generally too cold for painting anything outdoors. It took many coats and to this day, it could probably use a few more, but it turned into gilded gold tree.

I then purchased some small 2×3 and 3×3 sized photo frames. I added photos to the frames of loved ones who have passed – some frames with copies of photos, other with photo copies and in cases when I didn’t have a photo, I just printed the person’s name in fancy font on nicer paper and slipped them into the frames. I then attached ribbon to frames so that they could be hung.

The first year that we put the tree out, I used some gold and ivory ornaments and pearl garland strands that I already had laying around. As the years have gone by, I’ve added more ribbons and crystals to really make the tree a statement tree. I have also collected and even made some ornaments that either have an angelic theme to them, or have a symbolic meaning to me like doves, dragonflies and angel wings. We use the same ornaments year-to-year that have our guests’ names on them. We keep them in a gold basket under the tree until they arrive. Every year when I put the tree up, I feel my “angels” with me. I usually have some odd occurrence happen as well, like a light bulb flickering or going out in the room from across the tree. A reminder that they always  with me.

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Being a Sports Mom and an Intuitive

I have anticipated this question as more and more people learn about my abilities: “Do you know if your kid’s team is going to win today?”

My children are involved in various activities, some of which are competitive and team sports. With that said, somebody is going to be the winner and somebody is going to come up short. I will say that I have tested my abilities at times, and for instance, tried to use my intuition to get an answer as if we will win or lose that day. I have learned that if I am able to get my own feelings and wishes out of the way and just try for a straight answer, I usually get it right and can say if we are going to win or lose that game or match.

Predicting the outcome of a game that my kids are playing can mess with me as there have been times that I am sitting on the sidelines watching my child’s team be down, when I previously got the answer that we will be winning that day. When this happens, I start to question my abilities and even get upset with myself for maybe not knowing how to use my abilities properly, and then low and behold, we’ll come from behind at the end and win.

The opposite has also happened where I think that we will lose a specific game and for a good portion of the time our team will be up. Sometimes way up. In those instances I also start to question my abilities but then think who cares if I am wrong, we are winning! (And then, just like that, even if we are ahead, we walk away defeated.)

It can start to feel like a roller coaster…

The knowing of what I think the outcome will be and then what is playing out in front of me…

sidelineOn occasion there have been times when I have tried to figure out what the outcome will be and there are times that I get what I call a back-and-forth answer, meaning that I can’t tell clearly, one way or another, if we are going to win or lose. When this happens, I ask multiple times and get one answer and then another – nothing consistent. I chalk that up to: I’m not supposed to know everything before it happens, or what the final outcome to be.

I have also learned, that though I have the ability to see what the outcome will be, many times I chose to NOT use it. There is something to be said to be a spectator in the stands or to be a mother rooting for her child on the sidelines and just being in the moment without knowing how it is going to end until it is actually over. By knowing the outcome, the fun can be taking out of watching the game.

I do also feel like knowing the outcome of my children’s sporting events makes me look a suspicious or feel guilty next to other parents.  In the past, if I knew that our team was going to win, there were times that I was almost too relaxed as a Sports Mom on the side lines. Others around me would be getting worked up and caught up in the emotion and I would be sitting right next to them cool as a cucumber because I knew that all would end fine. I started to feel like other parents were look at me strangely for maybe not rooting so intensely for our team. And at times when I knew that we were going to lose, I felt like others around me would be cheering their hearts out hoping for a positive outcome when I was ready to pack up my things and head back to the car knowing that we’d be done soon.

By no means when I do have a hunch as to what the outcome of my kid’s games will be, do I share it with others around me. I have no intention of wanting to spoil the experience for other parents or spectators. I do also want to bring up the fact that Intuitives are not given insight when it comes to gambling or gaining financially from sporting events. (If that were the case, business would be booming, wouldn’t it? LOL!) Our gifts are to be used to help others heal.

I will say that I do have a 100% hit ratio in calling rain outs for when my kids sports are played out doors. (That comes in handy in knowing what to pack and take to games if we are going to be stuck out in the elements.) 😉

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

We are Just Here to Celebrate a Wedding – and That is It.

outdoor weddingWhen those with gifts are close to a situation or the situation is about us, we can’t always bet a read on it. I myself can feel a block where I don’t receive information and other times I feel my brain getting in the way and filling in the blanks or re-writing what I get.

Today I had a visit with my “massage therapist” (that is how I refer to her when it comes to my husband) who really is a reiki master as well as a kind, gentle woman who has many other spiritual gifts. I should just really drop the word “massage” and refer to her as my “therapist” because every time I leave from a visit, I am 100x better emotionally, physically and spiritually than when I showed up.

Before each appointment starts, Mrs. A. (as we’ll call her) will ask me, “What are we working on today.” Sometimes I will point out an area where I have been experiencing chronic pain, other times I will discuss with her my latest health issues or health mysteries and then there are times like today, where physically I am feeling fine for the most part but I have something going on behind the scenes that I need to get off my chest or I am seeking answers for. Walking in today I feel rather fine. I have been feeling like I have been floating on air as I was recently Reiki Level 1 attuned. Today, the only thing I see in front of me is an upcoming family wedding. To most, it sounds like a fun time, but in this case, I have an interesting cast of characters who I will be coming in contact with. Many of whom left me with a very negative feeling the last time I saw them.

I describe what happened in this blog past: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As the time has drawn nearer for this event, I have found it hard to lose the ten pounds that I was hoping to lose (emotional protection), I have found it more difficult than usual to find something to wear, which isn’t like me. (I chalk it up to I don’t know what I am walking in to.) And lastly, my husband would prefer to not even go but since this is my side of the family, I make the final call. And though my new motto is, “I am down to weddings and funerals” for those who either cause me pain, drama or don’t serve my highest good, I know that if I don’t show up to this event, that would be the nail in the coffin that could finish my relationship with this side of the family, and I don’t know what the repercussions could be in the future that I may regret.

I share my concerns with Mrs. A. on how I don’t know how to handle going to the wedding. I don’t know what I will be walking in to or how people will react to me.  I also give her tid-bits and quick back stories as they relate to my Aunt and a cousin, to name a few. I have caught visions of this event but I question if I am “making things up or not.” (I still have an issue on trusting what I get, especially when I am related to the situation.) I am confident that I will have guides and loved ones from the other side walking with me that evening so that has given me hope.

Mrs. A. has spiritual gifts as well and can get a reading on things. She paused for a moment and tells me that their problem is not me. It is their issue(s). I relaxed a bit when I heard that. She pointed out that I don’t connect with them and they equally don’t understand me, but that is OK. She also reminded me that we are all different and that is a good thing. How boring if we were all the same.

During my secession, Mrs. A. had me close my eyes and try to relax. We chat about what stones I should wear or carry at the wedding. She suggests Pyrite and rose quarts. The rose quarts is to remind me to show love while I am there. (Pyrite has protective vibes, helps with self-confidence and can provide a more powerful vibration.)  When I finally get my head clear and in a relaxed state (which I is never quick for me) I found myself in a sandy area with the sun behind me Sort of like approaching twilight, but not quite. She prompted me and asked what I was wearing. I was barefoot and dressed in what looked to be a long flowy dress sort of like what a belly dancer would wear but I wasn’t showing my stomach and there weren’t any gold decorative coins sewn on it. It was more conservative. I even had something draped on my head. I was sitting in the sand.

snakeShe asked what I saw in front of me. I saw a basket, sort of like the type you see a snake start dancing out of. Low and behold there was a snake. It was moving back and forth, not in a scary way, but in a rhythmic way. I pointed out to Mrs. A that I didn’t feel threatened by the snake or feel that I was in danger. She said “good! I am glad that you don’t see this as a negative thing because it is not!”

She asked me to look closer at the snake and describe it. I told her that I could see the scales up close and then I looked into the eyes. The eyes weren’t scary though. I told her they remind me of looking into my dog’s eyes. There was a gentle feel to them.

Mrs. A. chimed in and said, “So they look like unconditional love?”

I responded with a “yes!” And then add, “Like my relatives love me unconditionally.”

The vision ended with me scooping up the basket (snake and all) and carrying it under my arm. I walked down the sand, which felt like it had water running alongside of it so I feel like I am walking away down a beach toward what is now a sunset.

Mrs. A. asks me what I look like as I am walking away. I tell her that I feel that I am confident and wise as I walk away. (I snickered at the “wise” part as it felt conceded to say.) She asked if I was looking behind me when I was walking. I firmly felt that no, I am not looking behind me, just forward. Right then and there it hits me. The past is the past. I am not looking back there anymore.

Once I process that a bit, Mrs. A. has me picture myself at the wedding and asks me what I see.

I saw a large round table with a spot light beaming down to illuminate the table top. There were 8 or 10 chairs around it. I was the only one sitting at the table, with my back to the corner of the room. The rest of the chairs were empty. It was as if I was in the corner observing the room and the dance floor in front of me. The room itself was dark except where the spot light was illuminating my table.

Mrs. A. then tells me to switch seats so that I am sitting with my back to the dance floor. She asks me who is coming up to me while I am sitting. I sense that it is my uncle (the husband to the aunt who is the source of issues and drama). I have never had an issue with this uncle but due to whatever fall-out took place that changed my aunt to be negative towards me, I haven’t really had much of a relationship with him in the last year or so. In my vision, my uncle starts out by clearing his throat. I mention that to Mrs. A and she says that clearing of the throat is like trying to clear a throat chakra. (Wow! How interesting!! I never put two and two together.) She asks me to describe what we are talking about. I tell her that he is asking me what has happened. (Meaning with my Aunt.) Why are things the way they are? I tell him, he nods, and then we part ways with everything being fine and calm between us.

Mrs. A. asks who comes in next. I tell her I see my sister. She walks up and pulls up a chair next to me and sits down. Mrs. A. adds that my sister looks excited and is talking a lot, like she’s had a few drinks. I told her that I agree, that is what I am seeing. She asks me who comes up to us while we are talking. I say I think that it is my Dad. He comes up to us, says a smart-ass comment and leaves. My sister rolls her eyes. Mrs. A. keeps encouraging me and says, “Yes, you are right!” She then asks me,  “What is your sister so excited about? What is she telling you?”

Well, at this point, my brain starts to interfere and want to fill in the blanks. I presume she wants to bitch about my parents. (Mrs. A. says, “No!”) I tried really hard but didn’t get anything more out of her. Mrs. A. said that I will just have to wait until the wedding to find out.

wedding_vendor_dance_floor_luxury_interview_occasionlabcom_7Next she asks me if I see a white light. I say, “Yes.” She asks me where the light is and I tell her it is on the dance floor. She tells me to go there. As I am walking to the dance floor she points out what I am wearing. She points out that my dress is flowing and I am gliding or floating with ease and confidence. I start to slow-dance with my husband on the dance floor. She asks me if people are there and I say that I see them but they look to be in the shadows. I don’t see their faces, maybe just their eyes.

As I dance more, Mrs. A asks if I start to see the people. I say that I do and that they look to be emerging into the light now. I see their faces and they are looking at me smiling. She points out that all is fine and positive with the people around me.

This vision stops and things move on to what looks to be the next day. The day after the wedding. Mrs. A. asks me where I am at. I tell her that I am at the party the morning after. I am the only one there, there are the tables where people sat, chairs scattered about and things left on tables. She asks me how I feel about where I am at. I tell her that I feel good. That it wasn’t that bad. She asked, “sort of like you are reflecting and realized that it wasn’t that bad and that you had fun?” I responded with a “yes!” Mrs. A. then gives me some advice and more of the message: She reminds me that I glow with love and that I can’t get mad. (Basically because I am radiating love and light.) The wedding is not a place for a family fight. And that we are here (at the wedding) to celebrate the bride and groom. She also reminds me that I need to have my wall down so that I can radiate.

Before the secession concluded I did ask Mrs. A to validate a few things that I got in regard to the day of the Wedding just to be sure I wasn’t crazy or making things up. She validated for me that yes, it will be cold the day of the wedding. (The wedding and reception are taking place outdoors.) I asked her if there was a connection between my uncle, a watch and the wedding day. (I’ve picked up on this for over a year now but started to think that I was making it up.) She confirmed that I will get validation at the wedding about this but suggested that I don’t say anything directly as I may freak my Uncle out. It will be too much for him to take in that day. I also ask her if things resolve with my cousin. She confirmed that she will reach out to me in time. I respond back, “Why, because she is looking for a reading from me? And Mrs. A. confirmed yes. I tell her that I am not sure that I want to read for family. (Personally I think that I am going to find it hard to give neutral readings and leave my personal opinion out of things. As of now, I also find it hard to give healing messages to those who have wronged me or talked about me behind my back on numerous occasions. You’ve also heard the expression “don’t shoot the messenger” haven’t you? Well, I don’t need people not liking what information they are getting through a reading though I know that Spirit delivers what needs to be heard. I am just the face of it. The conduit.)

Lastly, I ask her if my aunt and I will make up. In the months previous, I keep getting visions of my aunt coming up to me with tears in her eyes. I see her dressed in like a lavender mother-of-the-groom dress though I don’t believe that she’ll actually be wearing lavender at the wedding. I also don’t see her bringing anything up at the wedding.

Mrs. A. responds with, “Let’s see what you get” and I started another vision. I saw myself in my office with cards laid out. She asked me to do a spread and tell her what I get. (At first I was like, “how is this going to work?” but I just went with it.)

I laid out three cards and I got different symbols. The first one was “Justice” which told me that justice is in my favor with the situation with my Aunt. The next had to do with balance. Then another had to do with blocking. I was the one blocking the healing. For kicks I “pulled” another card in my vision. (I usually pull an extra just to see if there is more to a message.) On the final card was an image of a newly found Guide that I was introduced to a few weeks ago. Her name is Rose. Rose appeared on the card and winked at me. I got the message to observe.

I tell her that I see myself at my Aunt’s house. In her kitchen specifically. Like my Aunt invited me over. We are getting along in my vision. Like we put things behind us. I still feel that I will have her at arm’s length but things will improve from where they are here and now.

My sessions with Mrs. A. never seem to disappoint.

61deba6a24b9c7d066b4753a1e62c05cAs I am walking out, Mrs. A mentions one last thing to me. She mentions that maybe it is up to me to heal the family and to break the negative cycle. (They cycle that someone is always on the outs. The black sheep. The one who is critiqued and picked apart.)

After an appointment with Mrs. A. I always get signs or symbols along the way home that tie back to my secession. On the way home, the song “Amber is the color of your Energy” by 311 came on. The song hasn’t been popular in years and it isn’t one you hear often on the radio.

The lyrics have to do with a woman who is beautiful and sweet that she radiates like the sun… the singer feels her energy and her love.

The “gemstone” Amber, (which is really fossilized resin) possesses very old energy. With this old energy comes the acquired wisdom of the earth! Additionally, it is described as a warm, cheerful, wise, protective, and healing stone. It will discharge all negative moods, and it will deflect negative energies that other people may direct at you.

Either way or meaning(s) translate back to the session that I just had.

Wish me luck.

The big day is in May and we’ll see how things unfold!

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Ever Since I was a Child, I have been Scolded for Finishing Other People’s Sentences.

I have had, what I have been told, is a “bad habit” of interrupting and finishing other people’s sentences. I have done this as long as I can remember, since childhood, and it has followed me into adulthood. As a child I was always told to “quit interrupting” and as an adult, I get “shushed” (usually by family members and relatives) and told to “quit talking, let me (the other person) finish!”

I don’t consider myself to be a rude person by nature and it didn’t hit me until recently as to why I have this “habit.” I am Claircognizant!

Finishing Sentences Dog - ClaircognizantClaircognizance is the intuitive ability of clear knowing something that may have happened in the past, present, or future about another, but you may be unable to back up your statement with facts or how you came into that information.  Intuitive thoughts tend to “pop up” at random times or when least expected. I can attest that this happens to me when I am driving, showering or doing something un-related to the thought that comes in my head.

One of the biggest traits of Claircognizance is interrupting people. People with this gift often complete other people’s sentences. We know what another person in a conversation is going to say, so we respond before the person can even get a full sentence out. I am so guilty of this and apologize for this all of the time. Along with this, I get instant ideas that pop in my head and I excitedly feel that I need to share them so again, the interrupting of conversation happens.

People that have natural Claircognitive abilities tend to be logical, organized and think things out. I would say that I am a “thinker.” I analyze, not numbers necessarily, but situations and scenarios. I have an over-active mind.

I also tend to be the “answer person” for people around me. People come to me with personal issues, work issues, even logistical issues and I seem to be the problem solver. People with Claircognitive abilities tend to solve issues and come up with answers to problems with no knowledge of what the question will be.

People like us tend to use the words “I know…” in conversation when relating to others. In my younger years, I would have people question me, “How DO YOU know?” as if I didn’t have the knowledge or wisdom to respond in such a way.

Claircognizance also leads to an over-active mind with ideas swirling around and popping in. The mind isn’t quiet.

And lastly, if you are Claircognizant, you never want to stop learning. You are a person who enjoys reading to learn, and is always interested in expanding your knowledge.

If a person is interested in exercising their Claircognitive ability, pendulum dowsing can be used to exercise your ability. Automatic writing is also another great way to access clear knowing. I sometimes use dowsing to get a “second opinion” on the answer(s) that I am receiving. Automatic writing in its traditional sense isn’t a strength for me at this time, but I do notice that things come to me automatically when I am blogging or writing stories.

So in closing, if you are Claircognizant and have the habit of interrupting people and conversations, I say, “Keep interrupting!” It is your gift talking!

 

When You Sense People in the Room Turning on You and it Starts to Feel Trippy

I had an uncle who passed away back in November and just recently we had a memorial service for him.

I had a Goodbye Dream with my Uncle in it recently. You can read about it here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/20/the-goodbye-dream/0

While at this Memorial Service, (that was held in the banquet room at a golf course where he used to play golf in his younger years) I literally felt the energy of many of my relatives and people that I know shift negatively toward me as the day went on, and it started to feel real trippy.

In recent years, I have learned that I am an empath. An empath is highly sensitive to the emotional climate around them. Throw in the fact that there is family drama and I am also a gal who is trying to navigate her every expanding gifts and it turns into one heck of a cluster!

Let me fill in the back story for you.

In December, my husband, kids and I celebrated Christmas Eve at my Aunt’s house, (the sister-in-law to my Uncle who recently passed). At her house, things were fine for the most part, though this Aunt is known to be a pot-stirrer. And by fine, I mean that I dismissed side comments that I know where made about me when I’d leave a room and I ignored a look or glance that was given over my shoulder at times, but all-in-all, I let things roll off and I survived.

My deceased Uncle’s daughter Ann, (my cousin), shares the same Aunt referenced above. Her mother and my Aunt were sisters. This cousin now lives out-of-state and my relationship with this cousin took a one-eighty a few years ago. And truly, to this day, I have no idea what I did to piss her off. To attempt to salvage this relationship I even wrote her a letter once asking where our relationship went wrong and apologized for whatever it was that I did to upset her and asked her how I could fix it. (This was her que to either tell me that all is fine or to F-off, but I never heard a word from her. I still have a copy of the letter.) This cousin is close to my above mentioned Aunt and has a relationship with my Sister. (My sister who has a stronger relationship with my Cousin’s kids than what she does with mine.)

Now here in February, this Memorial Service rolls around. I feel somewhat relaxed knowing that I made it through Christmas Eve unscathed. I know walking in that there is friction with my cousin but knowing that this is a Memorial Service for her father, I know that I am going to be supportive and respectful so really, what could go wrong?!?!?!

As my husband, kids and I walked in, we said our hellos to my cousin and her family who were receiving people at the door. Then I made my way around the room and said my hellos to relatives including cousins, second cousins, friends of my cousin and family friends and neighbors of my Uncle. These people smiled, hugged me and said hi to me.  Small talk here, small talk there… Until, oops!! I walk up to my Aunt (from Christmas Eve) and try to say hello and hug her. She turns sideways as I hug her and she starts to talk to someone else so I FIRST assumed that maybe I accidentally interrupted a conversation and just carried on.

Also before the service got started, I also connected with my Uncle’s neighbor. She is a boisterous Irish lady. She was really good friends with my Aunt (who has passed) and when I talk with her, I feel my Aunt’s presence. I felt the need to share bits and pieces of my “goodbye dream” with her. I asked her if she wanted to know what my Uncle looked like now that he passed. I told her that I had a dream recently. She said “sure” and I shared a few details with her.  All felt fine.

Before the Service starts, I see my Aunt (from Christmas Eve) making her rounds to all of our relatives. I didn’t think anything of it.  Though soon after I notice to the left of me, in the corner of the room, where a majority of the people I know are… The room seemed to grow colder, almost grayer…

The service starts and we all take our seats. People got up and went to the podium and told stories and memories about my Uncle. A few times I was tempted to get up and share my “goodbye dream” with the crowd. The coldness (emotionally, not temperature) from the corner of the room wasn’t helping.  I even had head tingles which is validation for me, but at the end, I chickened out because I didn’t think that the idea of a “goodbye dream” would go over well with the entire crowd. (I later told my mother about the dream when we went to go out to eat after the service.)

As the stories started to wrap up, all of the guests in the room started to mingle. I made my way back to my Aunt who I saw at the beginning of the Service and she again starts walking off as I am trying to make small talk. I then start to approach some distant cousins, and a few of my Aunt’s sister-in-laws and suddenly I am getting half-cracked smiles, little eye contact and one answer responses to my questions. WTF??? Somebody pinch me! I am dreaming? It is though I am feeling their rumblings toward me, but yet nobody is saying anything. Very surreal. Very trippy!

I attempt once again to make my way over to my Aunt who is now sitting down at a table. Her son is getting married next year and I try to use the wedding as a conversation starter. As I start chatting (and notice the wide eyes of one of her sister-in-laws who is next to her) my Aunt gets up as she’s mid-sentence responding to me and walks away from me. I had to move aside to get out of the way for her.

At this point, it hits me. I’m not making up what I saw and felt when I first saw her. It also hits me that this is “the family tradition” (insert sarcasm) on this side of the family. The tradition that goes back to my great grandmother, my grandmother and her sister – my great aunt, and then down to my aunts and even cousins and second cousins. The tradition that SOMEONE is always on the out. THAT SOMEONE is the one who everyone critiques, picks apart and talks negatively about. THE SOMEONE who isn’t always invited to things. The SOMEONE who is the A$$shole – just because someone else decided.   And as I let it resonate for a moment, I step back and look at other relatives and people in the room and realize that most of those who I know, have done a one-eighty toward me in the time I have been in the room with them as well. WTH?!?!!? At this point I give my husband the “it’s-time-to-circle-the-wagons-and-go” look so that we can gather up the kids and head out.

We go through the motions of saying our goodbyes to everyone. The final people we need to see before stepping out is my Cousin (the one who has the beef with me, but I am clueless as to what I have done). There were a few people ahead of us leaving so we had to wait for a few people ahead of us. And low and behold, as if I wasn’t beaten up enough I am next in line to say the goodbyes and my Cousin decides that she needs to excuse herself and use the ladies room. At this point, I see my mother have a look of shear surprise on her face, so I know that I have a witness to the crazy situation. Being the type of person that doesn’t like to back down easily, I waited a few minutes for my cousin to return and then when she didn’t in a few minutes I went in the ladies room myself. She then scurried back to the banquet room so I went back there made sure the kids and hubby where there and we said our goodbyes and were out of there. All the way home I kept playing the afternoon over and over in my head. At that point, between the adrenaline and lack of food, I felt a migraine kicking in.

A few weeks have passed since my uncle’s memorial service and I am still processing everything that happened.  The range of emotions are crazy. I keep going back over the day and even the time between Christmas and the Memorial Service trying to figure out what I might have done or said to cause this. At the end of the day, I really don’t have any answers. I notice that by having the gifts that I have, that it feels strange picking up on all that I do. I have a lot of “pinch-me-I-must-be-making-this-up” moments. That is where the trippy part comes in. At the end of the day, I know what I am picking up on is real. It is just heartbreaking when the negativity is coming from people who are supposed to love and care about you. I have decided that in order to protect my “energy” and my emotions around extended family, “I am now down to weddings and funerals” for most.

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

The Goodbye Dream

Goodbye dreamI’ve heard this term before: The “Goodbye Dream.” (Some call it the “Farewell Dream.”)  It is the dream that you have after somebody passes away. It is a dream where you both connect and say goodbye in some way. You are given some kind of closure or are re-assured that the person is okay.

I think that I had my very first goodbye dream when I was 17 or 18 years old. At least that is the first one that I can actually recall.  It was a visit from a co-worker. I remember after waking up from the dream, feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted.

Last night I had a dream about my uncle who recently passed. He passed less than a month ago. I hadn’t seen him in nearly five years. His daughter and her family moved him out of state to live with him. We didn’t keep in touch via phone as he was hard of hearing and deaf in one ear. I’d send photos of the kids and gifts at Christmas, and cards on his birthday, but never heard if he received them. Loved them. Or hated them.  I never took offense to it, as I know that the lack of feedback on the items sent weren’t his doing.

I had a premonition of when I thought that he’d be passing. I thought that he would pass around the Christmas holiday. I pictured it to be a holiday when people were together. He actually passed on Thanksgiving instead.  When I had the vision of him passing, I actually saw my sister being there.

In the weeks leading up to my uncle’s passing, I prayed “to” him, sort of like a conversation in my head to him. I also prayed to my aunt, his wife, who passed years previously, as well as to other relatives. Once he passed, I lifted him (along with his daughter and her family) up in prayer. When praying, I let my uncle know that I have some gifts. (I still can’t totally hear as I still get the buzzing in my ear but the buzzing is sometimes different now.)

Though we hadn’t talked or seen each other in a while, I didn’t think that anything was wrong between us. No hard feelings. No grudges. Others who were around him might have their own opinions, but I never thought of anything being left on a sour note. However, after my uncle visited me in his Goodbye Dream, I was FOR SURE that all was good between us!

The dream seemed to unfold so fast once it got started. It was a very vivid dream and one that every detail stuck with me afterwards. I recall feeling cold, though I was under the covers when I started to fall asleep. Then I remember the chill going away as I fell into the dream. The dream started with my uncle coming out of a garage. This total made sense as he loved to work on cars. Old cars. He was wearing a light colored sweater and light colored pants. Not necessarily something he normally wore, but I remember thinking while dreaming that the light colored clothing looked very angelic.

As he came out of the garage, he sat at what looked like a park bench. The bench was near where his and my aunt’s front step was that lead into their breezeway. It was like the bench was running perpendicular to the garage. It was like I was standing in the driveway of their old house, yet it was different. My uncle was built like an old football player (which he was), he had an athletic build, but he looked to be in what I think his

He sat on a bench that was running alongside where he and my aunt’s front deck step was at their old house. It was like we were in the driveway of their old house, yet it was different. And though he was 76 and ailing when he past, in my dream, he was built like an old football player (which he was), he had an athletic build, and he looked to be in what I think was his late 50s. He had a head full of white, thick hair, and his beard was really dark and thick, like the color I remember his hair and beard to be when I was a young child. He looked strong and healthy.

We sat on the bench together and hugged and snugged. It was as though I was sitting on his lap like a small child at times. He kept kissing my repeatedly on the cheek and kept calling me by the nickname that my aunt gave me. We both told each other “I love you” and then the dream was done.

Just like that. Done.

When I woke in the middle of the night, I felt like someone touched or brushed my leg. I wasn’t scared. I just said “hi!” Then, while lying in bed in the dark, I heard the sound of a paper being moved (I have scrap booking stuff in our bedroom – a project that never gets done) followed by the sound of the window blind next to my bed making a quick “tap” sound. I simply said “Hi! I can hear you!”

….. And then I fell back to sleep for the night.

This morning I awoke with excitement yet felt contentment. Trying to replay the dream over and over again in my mind so that I wouldn’t forget any details.  I felt that I had closure since we got to connect like that last night.

When Dream Messages and Situations Come Full Circle

dreamThe other day I got confirmation from a dream that I had awhile back. I have always dreamt but never really noticed before when a “dream came true” in a sense. I don’t necessarily mean a “wish upon a star” kind of dream, but more so when something is shown to you, from your Guides, for example and then it is validated later.

I got my validation, Christmas Day 2015, in fact, from another relative regarding the dream that I had. The date of my dream, I really didn’t take too much note of, but it had to have taken place in October some time.

The dream I had was about a distant cousin of mine. She has a child and though her and her husband looked happy in the early years of their marriage, through the years, it was easy to see that she and her husband were together for the sake of the child and it was just a matter of time, maybe when their child was off to college or out of the house, that the marriage would dissolve.

In the dream that I had, my “cousin” and I were sitting at my (now deceased) Grandmother’s kitchen table. The dream started out sort of like we were in the kitchen, but then the background faded away, sort of like when you are watching a play, and actors are on stage and the spotlight is focused on the people or persons doing the acting and the rest of the stage and audience is black or in the shadows. As the dream unfolded, it was she and I at this table with darkness all around us. The room almost started to spin around us, but I felt like we were in the eye of the storm, sitting still at this table.

During our conversation, she was telling me about the demise of the marriage. She was upset and crying and I recall her saying that she felt like “The rug was pulled out from underneath her” with the end of her marriage. I remember in my dream, being somewhat surprised that she was sharing this information with me as she and I are not close. Once I woke up, I remember feeling awkward, as if I knew something that I wasn’t supposed to. The dream sat with me for a few days for whatever reason, but eventually I got wrapped up with the hustle and bustle of holiday prep.

Fast forward to Christmas day. While sitting around and chatting after dinner, my distant cousin came up in conversation. A relative of mine, (who is closer to her than I am and more in the know with “family gossip”) shared that this particular cousin, who was not happy in her marriage was getting a divorce, however she felt like “the rug was ripped from under her” as her husband was the one who took the first step in dissolving the marriage. (She had always thought that she’d be driving the bus in this event when she decided that the time was right.) The idea that she wasn’t in control of the situation rocked her according to my in-the-know-relative continued to discuss with us.

To hear those words…

“The rug ripped out from under her….”

I froze in my seat, and I am sure that my eyes were wide as saucers. My mind went right back to that dream! Holy sh*t! I saw this happening or knew it happened somehow before I knew it had happened!

Taking out the elements of someone’s pain and another person’s gossip out of this story, this is one of the first messages or situations that I remember coming through in a dream that was later confirmed. I’m sure that this has probably happened to me before, however if it did, I never really noticed until now. You bet that I’ll be paying closer attention from now on!

***

Update January 16, 2018: This dream still sticks with me. I still remember most of the details about the dream. Some people say that they remember certain dreams forever. I think that I am to remember this dream because it was a benchmark in my Awakening process, pretty much at a time when I didn’t even realize what the word “awakening” even meant.