When Parenting and Empath Abilities Collide

My first instinct is to protect myself, then I kick into mommy mode and want to assist my children in any way that I can to heal them.
Empaths absorb the energy and symptoms of others. When we absorb ailments of others, we take them on as if they are our own. When we take on ailments, we can help to heal the other person.

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Empaths absorb the energy and symptoms of others. When we absorb ailments of others, we take them on as if they are our own. When we take on ailments, we can heal the other person.

mother daughterYesterday my youngest walked in the door from school with what looked to be a dark red patch on her face. Upon further investigation it looked like a rash or a bug bite of some sort. (Never mind we are in the middle of winter here in the Midwest.) She has extremely sensitive skin so I first went through a list of questions asking what she might have put on her face to cause this – lotions, hand sanitizers or soaps at school, etc. She said that it itched and hurt. I tried to figure out when during the day this happened. According to her, it started early in the school day.

We took the necessary steps to ease her symptoms. Within moments of giving her face attention I started to itch around my face and shoulders. I even noticed some hives starting on me. This of course alerted me to ask my daughter if she was itching or bothered in other places and she said “No.”

Itching and hives on ME tend to put me I a bit of an anxious spiral as a person who has had many an unexplained allergic reaction of my own along my awakening process. I used to carry Benadryl and epi pens with me everywhere I went. (At the begging of my awakening process I was popping Benadryl like it was candy, as I was always itching and my throat regularly felt like it was ready to close up.)

When I take on symptoms from others (sometimes I know whose symptoms I have taken on and other times it can be a complete stranger like someone out in a public place or in my neighborhood or somebody’s energy that I am tapping into) my first instinct is to protect myself (so that I don’t absorb what is not mine) and then to send it back to its rightful owner and to put it back in its proper space and time.  (I know that this “wording” may sound crazy to some, but the putting back of the ailments of not mine has been a big help to me.)

When it is your child who is suffering from something you want to do all that you can to make them better. Though my first instinct was to protect myself (“Hello! Anxiety and panic!” as I get worried about allergic reactions for me) but then “Mommy Mode” kicked in and I allowed myself to keep absorbing my daughter’s ailments. (I did ask my angels and guides to help me to not have a medical emergency myself.)

Motherhood and my abilities seems to collide from time to time. I try to do my best and droll with things to the best of my abilities and to thank the Universe along the way.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Mysterious Health Symptoms. Are they Mine?

Every time I have or feel an ailment that comes on out of nowhere, my mind starts to spiral out of control…. I’ve had so many random ailments over the past few years that I go from 0 to 100 and then anxiety will come running in.

I recently learned a trick that helps me to determine if what I am feeling is mine or not. #EmpathLife

Time and time again throughout my so-called “Awakening Journey” I have struggled with knowing what health symptoms (and even emotions) are my own, or someone else’s.

As I have discussed in previous posts, I am an Emapth. An Empath has the ability to feel the thoughts, emotions, and energy of others. This can include physical symptoms as well.

The other day, I was on my way to visit a mentor of mine and out of nowhere, as I was driving, my left knee started to hurt. I felt a sharp pain and it was very noticeable. Though knee problems tend to run in my family, my knees have not been bothering me as of recently. With that said, every time I have or feel an ailment that comes on out of nowhere, my mind starts to spiral out of control….

“Is it a blood clot…”

“Wait… am I dehydrated? Maybe it is my lower leg that is hurting and not my knee…?”

“What if I can’t walk on my leg when I get where I am going…?”

“What if both of my knees start to hurt and it gets so bad that I have to pull over because I can’t drive…?”

You may be chuckling to yourself as you read the above thoughts that were racing through my head, but this is a glimpse into my world. I’ve had so many random ailments over the past few years that I go from 0 to 100 and then anxiety will come running in.

I tried to reason with myself that I would be seeing Erin soon and that she’d either help me with the pain or have a reason as to why I was in pain. (Erin specializes in Reiki, Energy Work and CranioSacral work and has been a wonderful mentor to me though out my awakening process.)

When I get to Erin’s office, she asks me what I’d like to do today, or what aliments I needed to fix. I explained to her that I have been feeling fine as of late, with the exception of my knee that started to hurt really bad on the way over. I did joke that maybe the pain isn’t mine, but I was sort of dismissing my comment.

Erin paused for a moment and said, “Nope. It isn’t your knee, it is someone else’s.” I was relieved to hear this, but I told her that I struggle with what is mine and what isn’t and how it puts me into panic mode sometimes.

Erin gave me a great tip that I have used ever since my visit with her. When I get an ailment, a pain, an emotion or a strange feeling that comes over me out of nowhere, she suggested that I ask if “Is this mine?” And if it isn’t mine that I should ask that it be put back in its proper space and time. Erin explained that if it was someone else’s ailment that I picked up, the ailment would go away. If it really is mine, well, then it would stay with me. So in the instance if the knee, I would say something like: “Is this pain in my knee mine? If it is not, please put it back in its proper space and time. Thank you.”

sickEver since learning this little tip, it has helped me tremendously. I do find that sometimes I need to ask more than once if the “ailment” is mine or not. By nature, I am a bit impatient and when things don’t go away in a split second I do find myself asking again. More times than not, I am freed of whatever is bothering me. There have also been times, when what I was feeling was really mine. For instance a few days after seeing Erin I didn’t feel very well. I asked that if my body aches where mine or not and went through the ritual of asking everything to be put back if it wasn’t mine. Well low and behold I did have a touch of the flu and no matter how many times I asked that the symptoms leave if they are not mine, they stayed until I was well again.

So the next time you aren’t sure if what you are feeling is really you or not, try asking if it is yours or not. And then ask that it be put back in it proper place and time. Be sure to say “Thank you” at the end of your ask. 😉

Warning: As an Empath, “Meeting Hangovers” Can Take Up To Two Days to Recover From

Warning: As an Empath, “Meeting Hangovers” Can Take Up To Two Days to Recover From

I belong to a local non-profit community organization and last night we had a meeting. It was our “end-of –year meeting” which goes longer than our normal monthly meetings. That particular meeting goes longer because we do a dinner and socialize at the beginning, conduct our usual meeting, vote on the following year’s Board Members, and then we divvy up the funds that we have raised throughout the year and disperse them to other causes and needs throughout the community. Last’s night meeting by no means was the longest meeting that we’ve ever had, but I was there for over three hours.

The group on a whole is a good group of people, though there are some interesting energies in the room. I don’t actually sit back and try to read the people in the room. I try to enjoy them for who they are, but from time to time I have found that I have been shown things about certain members. I also find myself “un-following” some fellow Club members on social media, but that is because I can’t handle some of the energy that they put out. It is nothing personal, I just can’t keep getting hit with negative funk.

Until just a few years ago, I didn’t realize that I was an Empath, or what traits came along with such a gift. Empaths  “sponge” all kinds of emotional and mental energy from other people – Good. Bad. And otherwise. I also didn’t know how to combat the “hangover” (a.k.a. Empath Fatigue) that I would experience post-large gatherings. When at Club meetings time and time again I find people coming up to me spilling some of their trials and tribulations to me and then I find myself thinking, “Wow! That was a lot they unloaded on me.” Big things. Things like marital troubles, work issues, health issues and financial stuff, just to name a few. One of the traits of being an Empath is to have people open up to them. Sometimes this can happen with people who need healing, other times I notice this comes from energy vampires.

I feel that I have gotten better (in my opinion anyway) about “bubbling up” and protecting or shielding myself, my energy, really, before walking into such large gatherings, but I still feel the aftereffects and the next day kick myself for not continuing to protect myself as much as I should during such events. (Cue Empath Hangover symptoms.) I also sometimes use, which I did last night, some Palo Santo Oil on myself prior to leaving the house. (I mix a few drops of Palo Santo oil in a small atomizer spray bottle with some distilled water and spray myself, as if putting up a wall of defense, and ask my guides and specific Archangels to protect me from negative energies. I feel that this helps with protecting myself from negative energies as well as psychic attacks.)

Between absorbing the energies in the meeting space, and being dumped on with people’s real problems and challenges, (and the occasional drop-in by Spirit), I find it hard to come home and just crawl into bed and go to sleep. I can’t “turn off” just like that. And by turn off, I literally mean turn my body off. I can feel it vibrate or pulse which I’ve come to understand as an energy overload. All of the energy that I have absorbed makes it hard to fall asleep and even stay asleep through the night. I’ve learned to try to cleanse myself (better yet, my Aura) by taking a shower when I get home. (I had this suggested to me awhile back from another lady who has some extraordinary gifts and I find it helps.) I also ground myself. Sometimes as I lay in bed rehashing things that happened through the evening that I can’t seem to let go of, I envision “cutting” a person or situation that is nagging my brain and watch whatever I cut, float away.

Meetings and any type of community service work can be a challenge for me. In one breath, I want to be out there helping people, in another, I find myself ducking out of largely attended events. Events that my take place in a community park or those that may serve a few hundred families in one day. It is too much for me still. I feel too much. I see too much. I can even take on symptoms of those around me. Sometimes I find fellow Club members giving me a questioning look as to why I am not signing up to do specific things. My secret (my gifts) are still a secret to most around town. Sill being in the closet has its challenges.  For example, there was an instance last night when the group was trying to decide how much money should go to which cause and organizations and I found myself blurting out “Does that particular one need that much money?” Followed by my head tingling and ears ringing. I’ll save this story for another day, but let’s just say that one organization that had some embezzlement issues a few years back is now miles ahead of where they used to be and I kept hearing – in my head – that the $500 that the Club was suggesting to donate to them should be knocked down to $250 and that the difference should go to X or Y organization instead. As you can imagine, it is sort of hard to explain to a room full of people that someone on the other side provided this info. (Someone from the other side who I think was at one time working overtime to make good on an embezzlement issue that she was a part of here in the physical world. Never mind that connecting with spirit can zap my energy as well.)

I’m not saying that I am doing everything correctly, but I am better off than what I was a few years ago with this. After a meeting or function, I still find that I am drained the next day. Nowadays the draining feeling lasts only about one day, when in the past, it could take me nearly two days to feel “normal” again. I’ve learned to not schedule anything important the next day, if possible. I’ve at least showered so far today. A few years ago I would have still had my sweat pants on in this point of the day, and considered it to be a “win” if the kids made it off to school and dinner was on the table by 5:00pm. Today I am showered, dressed half decently, and tackling my “to-do list” in a timely matter.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

You’re an Empath, Not Crazy!

Let me give you some real examples as to how I have taken on other people’s energy or symptoms.

I saw the image at the top of this post come across my Facebook Feed today. I got if off of a great page called: Empathy Welcome and as with most Empath related quotes and information that I see floating around. This one fits the bill. My poor husband many times thinks that I am either (1) hormonal or (2) refer back to #1, I’m just plain hormonal half the time because my moods can constantly change or body ailments can pop up out of the blue.

I can be going along one minute as though everything is fine and then – BOOM!!! I can start stomping around the house, slamming drawers, or at a drop of the hat start yelling at my kids for something that doesn’t quite deserve the high pitch shouting that is coming out of me. The kids, my husband and even the dog have witnessed this time and time again and have had to run for the hills.

….. And sometimes as quick as it started….. It’s done. Almost like “End Scene!”

And then what usually follows is….a nap! Why? Because I am spent. As if something or someone took over my body, made me run a marathon and then left! Left me with the leftovers!!

Let me give you some real examples as to how I have taken on other people’s energy or symptoms.

A few years ago, I got really angry one afternoon. Like really pissed off to the point I was starting to question why I was so angry. The kids were gone, my husband was at work. Nothing out of the ordinary was going on or happened. No family drama at the moment to speak of. Prior to the mood swing, I was having a really good day. The next day I see my neighbor outside while getting my mail. She comes over to chat and tells me that while meeting with lawyers the day before pertaining to her divorce, her soon-to-be Ex Husband (who was going along fine with the divorce process up until now) suddenly wants part of her 401K, part of the home that they lived in, (but she built and he never put a dime in for), and one of the cars that her son drives. She was livid. And really, I was too, the day before, but now I know why!

I remember one Sunday morning at Church I stopped in the ladies room before Service. When I got out of the stall, there was a woman standing at the sink sniffling with a tissue. I thought that maybe she was crying. While washing my hands I asked her if she was OK and she responds that she is suffering from a nasty cold that she can’t seem to get rid of. I wish her a good day. As I walk into Service to find my husband, I notice that suddenly my nose if running (though it wasn’t before we left the house that morning). I first thought to myself, shoot, now I’m getting sick. Within a few moments it hit me – I took a little of the lady in the restroom’s cold away from her. I took on her symptoms…The runny nose went away a few minutes later.

On a particular summer morning, my kids were having friends come over to play and the mom and I were going to hang out while they played. Prior to them arriving I would feel myself getting riled up a bit. Almost angry. I blamed those feelings on the fact that my house was filthy and if I took better care of the cleaning side of things, I’d be less stressed before people come over. Well, after everyone arrives and the kids are sent off to play, I find out that the mom is at her wits end with her children for none of them listening or behaving properly over the last few days, and low and behold her husband had been putting in a lot of time  in at work and not around the house a lot to help with the kids. After hearing what was going on, I got that little kick in my gut and thought to myself, “This is why I was so stressed this morning, never mind the house.”

One afternoon while walking down our block, I remember walking by a certain house and feeling the overwhelming sadness that the parents are feeling because their teen-aged children are always on the go and about to move out of the house for the next chapters of their lives. This was confirmed to me in a later conversation with one of the home owners as he was giving me a lecture reminding me to hang on to the moments that I have now with my kids while they are younger because once they get older, you’ll be sad that they are up and leaving.

Last April I remember sitting in my bathroom I remember feeling a strong sense of sadness and I couldn’t help but to keep thinking that “Life as we know it, will never be the same again.” Strong words, and well, some that can ignite panic. A day or so later at the bus stop I learned of a family in the neighborhood who lost their son a few evenings prior in an automobile accident. I called a friend of mine who was friends with this neighbor asking if she knew of the son’s passing. She didn’t. A few days later she phones me to thank me again for letting her know about the accident as she went over to visit the family. She shared with me that though the family was grieving, they knew that they would see their son again someday. And they now have to learn to figure out a ‘new normal’ because (according to what my friend said) they said, “Life as they know it will never be the same.”

(Sit on that one for a moment.)

Another morning while getting ready I started to feel really sluggish and out of it, which was odd because I thought that I had been eating well, drinking the necessarily liquids and actually got a decent night’s sleep. (A rarity, the sleep anyway.) Later that morning I went to get my hair done. While sitting in the chair, my stylist kept yawning and was noticeably tired. She complained of feeling fatigued and feeling out of it that day and thought that she might be coming down with something. After leaving the beauty shop and grabbing some lunch I felt totally fine.

Back in the fall of, or the latter half of 2015, I remember getting such an urge to stock pile bottled water, that it wasn’t even funny. We had the usual cases in the garage and periodically I kept adding to more and more cases in our front hall closet. It was to the point that my husband would make snide comments about it and I even had a friend and another time a relative give me a weird look when I opened up the hall closet door and they saw the inventory of water we had. (Again, insert snide comment towards me here.) It took me a while to put the pieces of this together, but what I think really happened with this situation was, (or what feelings I was feeling) were, well, Flint Michigan and their water crisis.

Now there are times when I don’t find this gift to be as exhausting and actually helpful in a sense. For example, one day my mouth kept hurting on a specific side. I noticed it again a day or so after when one of my children were with me. I asked, “Does the upper, left side of your mouth hurt you today?” The response was “Yes” in a matter-of-fact way. Well, later, we realized that my child’s upper molars were popping through — On the left side!

I’ve also been able to use this gift to feel when one of my children are about to get sick, for instance I can get a severe stomach ache before anyone mentions that they feel like they are going to throw up, or I can feel my nose start to itch or feel dry on one side or the other only to have one of my children come home from school to say that they were sent down to the Nurse’s Office that day for a bloody nose. (I’ve gotten so good at this game I’ll guess which side the nose bleed happened on before I later hear about it.)

I can also have my parents over for a visit and know that my Father’s back is hurting him because, well, mine will too. This helps me to know to keep the kids from playing too rough with him.

Being an Empath is a blessing and can feel like a curse, but as I learn to live with this gift, I feel lucky to have it.

What are some of your Empathic stories??