April 15th – Tax Day and a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis

After my faux heart attack back in November numerous tests were run through my Primary Care Physician and at my request I had testing done through a cardiologist as well. (My stress test was done nearly 5 years to the week of my previous one.) My Primary Physician didn’t think that I needed to bother with seeing a Cardiologist, but her hit ratio with diagnosing me in the past had been subpar. (I always think about changing doctors, but then I go long periods without having any issues. During those quiet times I should be forming a relationship with another physician, but then life gets in the way and finding a new Primary Care Physician gets pushed to the bottom of the list. )

During one of my follow up visits with my Primary Care Physician, she suggested that I go and see a Rheumatologist to look into the possibility of me having Fibromyalgia. Naturally, I didn’t care for the one that she suggested so I asked around and found another one who I had a reference on.

Per the Mayo Clinic, Fibromyalgia is: a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.

Symptoms

Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

  • Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
  • Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
  • Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as “fibro fog” impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.

Fibromyalgia often co-exists with other painful conditions, such as:

  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Migraine and other types of headaches
  • Interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome
  • Temporomandibular joint disorders

fibro1I will admit, when I have researched Fibromyalgia online, I do check many of the boxes, but I also know that my thoughts are my reality so I keep mentally not owning the possibility of such a diagnosis. For me, I feel like a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis would be a death sentence. Many of the symptoms ALSO overlap with those that have to do with the Awakening Process. In my opinion, Fibromyalgia is a “bucket” that people are put in when doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with them.

Over the last few years, I have learned of more and more people that I know being diagnosed with Fibro. Many of them are Lightworkers, Empaths, Energy Workers, and most have some sort of psychic ability.  (I have a hunch that Fibromyagia may have to do some people’s rise in frequency and vibratory level, but we can discuss that another time.) Previous to those people having it, my experience with knowing others who have had the disease was a direct correlation to their own poor lifestyle choices. (The type of lifestyle choices that could be picked out a mile away.) And though many will tell you it is not a curable disease, I will tell you that I know a gal who was once diagnosed with Fibro but now doesn’t carry ANY of the symptoms of it.

I have also read many reasons/causes for Fibro including. Per WebMD, causes of Fibro can include from:

  • Genes. Fibromyalgia seems to run in families. Your parents may pass on genes that make you more sensitive to pain. Other genes can also make you more likely to feel anxious or depressed, which makes pain worse.
  • Other diseases. A painful disease like arthritis or an infection raises your chances of getting fibromyalgia.
  • Emotional or physical abuse. Children who are abused are more likely to have the condition when they grow up. This may happen because abuse changes the way the brain handles pain and stress.
  • Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some people have this mental health problem after a terrible event, like war, a car crash, or rape. These events are also linked to fibromyalgia in some people.
  • Gender. The condition is much more common in women than men. Doctors think this could be related to differences in the way men and women feel and react to pain, as well as how society expects them to respond to pain.
  • Anxiety and depression. These and other mood disorders seem linked to fibromyalgia, though there’s no proof that they actually cause the condition.
  • Not moving enough. The condition is much more common in people who aren’t physically active. Exercise is one of the best treatments for fibromyalgia you already have. It can help turn the pain volume down.

From a Holistic Health Standpoint, I found this information from a site called: Heavenly Earth Projects. (There was too much good information not to share.)

From the Conventional Medical perspective, fibromyalgia and cancer are unrelated, yet from the soul perspective, they are both caused by old soul trauma and disconnection.  From the Holistic Health perspective, the spiritual cause of this condition is a deep weariness of the soul.   The individual has lived many, many past lives which have been physically, mentally and emotionally demanding.  The effects of these negative vibrations are carried through in the DNA, and stored as toxins in the cellular memory of the body.

Toxins in the physical body cells are also a contributing factor in many cases.  Mercury fillings, heavy metals, processed foods, chemicals/pesticides and so on.  Detoxification of the physical body is important, and is also initiated with a Forensic Healing session.

Common Past Life experiences:

  • adventure, exploration, war, physical endurance in extreme conditions
  • pushing beyond normal limits, even through pain
  • self sacrifice of body and mind, to achieve goals and avoid emotional self
  • experienced severe woundings, torture, because of intuitive/healing abilities

These past life experiences can also result in other types of dis-ease, however, my understanding is that fibromyalgia is triggered by unresolved emotional issues relating to family, and can also be carried in the ancestral DNA.  Though it is not hereditary, it can ‘cluster’ within families.

Common behaviours of a person with Fibromyalgia

  • helpful, responsible people who hurt themselves in their eagerness to please others, particularly family, and are not able to express how they feel
  • busy, tense, driven, stressed
  • lack proper boundaries
  • don’t balance activity with rest
  • doormat for others
  • less tolerance/patience for others, and holds this inside, causing inner pain.  This resistance affects the nervous system, causing sleep disorders and pain
  • lack of life force energy
  • pain is used to avoid addressing emotional issues (the pain is actually the indicator of unresolved emotional issues)
  • the immobilisation of the body also helps the person avoid the natural expression of emotional energy via movement.
  • psychological pain is stored in the muscles.  Anger, fear, guilt are all stored in the body.  There is a deep desire for change but an inner resistance to making it, due to fear, resulting from past life experience.
  • back pain indicates something out of reach, and out of sight.  These are emotions or issues that we are not ready to face.
  • obligated to others, leaving little time for self
  • feel loyal to family but there is conflict in the relationships – you feel trapped, hurt or helpless in the situation.  You want to walk away but feel obligated to family member.
  • you need some emotional nurturing.  You nurture the emotions of others, to the exclusion of your own.

And Per Louise Hay: When a person is under stress, the body reacts and tenses. Stiffness and pain is felt in the fibrous tissues, usually deep within the muscles yet there is nothing wrong with the muscles themselves. Stiffness is a result of rigid and stiff thinking. Tension, fear and holding on result in the body cramping and gripping. Affirm: I move easily and comfortably. My feet dance through life!

paint.jpgWell, today is April 15, Tax Day here in the United States. I had a long-awaited appointment (it took nearly 3 months to get) with a rheumatologist. My appointment was the first one of the day at 8am.

I went through a brief description of my health history, including the mysterious symptoms (some I now know to be metaphysically related but no need to mention that to a doctor who specializes in Western Medicine.) She did an exam and supposedly had my blood work from my Primary Care Physician. She asked me a ton of questions, which I appreciated as many doctors these days don’t seem to have the time to get to know you or your heath situation.

She then told me “I am giving you a Fibro diagnosis. You have Fibro but no autoimmune disease at this time. By me giving you a diagnosis, you don’t need to keep going back for further testing. Testing that would could lead to things like more radiation or even lead to finding something that in your body that ‘God gave you’ that isn’t causing you any harm, but others may say that it is a concern or need to be taken out. No medication is needed at this time. Yoga and Talk Therapy will help you.”

These words didn’t hit me until she left the room – was she doing me a favor by ending this train ride?? I know that I have some internal work and healing to do. I’ve always felt the push to do yoga and honestly, the Talk Therapy makes sense as I have not shared my symptoms, spiritual gifts and metaphysical experiences from many.

Did she on some level know that more testing would lead to something that didn’t need to happen? A surgery? A treatment? (The drugs necessary for treating Fibro would be a cocktail of a few different drugs, per her and my conversation I am already medically sensitive to medicines. I can’t imagine being on those that we’d have to fish around trying to find a correct dose for.) So did she do me a favor with a diagnosis that I was trying to avoid? (I’m going with “yes” on this.)

Right now I am just processing the idea that I have this diagnosis. I am still trying to “not own it.” I also think that there is something more “bigger picture” when it comes to Lightworkers and those of us with gifts.  We’ll see what happens. Stay tuned.

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When Parenting and Empath Abilities Collide

Empaths absorb the energy and symptoms of others. When we absorb ailments of others, we take them on as if they are our own. When we take on ailments, we can heal the other person.

mother daughterYesterday my youngest walked in the door from school with what looked to be a dark red patch on her face. Upon further investigation it looked like a rash or a bug bite of some sort. (Never mind we are in the middle of winter here in the Midwest.) She has extremely sensitive skin so I first went through a list of questions asking what she might have put on her face to cause this – lotions, hand sanitizers or soaps at school, etc. She said that it itched and hurt. I tried to figure out when during the day this happened. According to her, it started early in the school day.

We took the necessary steps to ease her symptoms. Within moments of giving her face attention I started to itch around my face and shoulders. I even noticed some hives starting on me. This of course alerted me to ask my daughter if she was itching or bothered in other places and she said “No.”

Itching and hives on ME tend to put me I a bit of an anxious spiral as a person who has had many an unexplained allergic reaction of my own along my awakening process. I used to carry Benadryl and epi pens with me everywhere I went. (At the begging of my awakening process I was popping Benadryl like it was candy, as I was always itching and my throat regularly felt like it was ready to close up.)

When I take on symptoms from others (sometimes I know whose symptoms I have taken on and other times it can be a complete stranger like someone out in a public place or in my neighborhood or somebody’s energy that I am tapping into) my first instinct is to protect myself (so that I don’t absorb what is not mine) and then to send it back to its rightful owner and to put it back in its proper space and time.  (I know that this “wording” may sound crazy to some, but the putting back of the ailments of not mine has been a big help to me.)

When it is your child who is suffering from something you want to do all that you can to make them better. Though my first instinct was to protect myself (“Hello! Anxiety and panic!” as I get worried about allergic reactions for me) but then “Mommy Mode” kicked in and I allowed myself to keep absorbing my daughter’s ailments. (I did ask my angels and guides to help me to not have a medical emergency myself.)

Motherhood and my abilities seems to collide from time to time. I try to do my best and droll with things to the best of my abilities and to thank the Universe along the way.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Warning: As an Empath, “Meeting Hangovers” Can Take Up To Two Days to Recover From

I belong to a local non-profit community organization and last night we had a meeting. It was our “end-of –year meeting” which goes longer than our normal monthly meetings. That particular meeting goes longer because we do a dinner and socialize at the beginning, conduct our usual meeting, vote on the following year’s Board Members, and then we divvy up the funds that we have raised throughout the year and disperse them to other causes and needs throughout the community. Last’s night meeting by no means was the longest meeting that we’ve ever had, but I was there for over three hours.

The group on a whole is a good group of people, though there are some interesting energies in the room. I don’t actually sit back and try to read the people in the room. I try to enjoy them for who they are, but from time to time I have found that I have been shown things about certain members. I also find myself “un-following” some fellow Club members on social media, but that is because I can’t handle some of the energy that they put out. It is nothing personal, I just can’t keep getting hit with negative funk.

Until just a few years ago, I didn’t realize that I was an Empath, or what traits came along with such a gift. Empaths  “sponge” all kinds of emotional and mental energy from other people – Good. Bad. And otherwise. I also didn’t know how to combat the “hangover” (a.k.a. Empath Fatigue) that I would experience post-large gatherings. When at Club meetings time and time again I find people coming up to me spilling some of their trials and tribulations to me and then I find myself thinking, “Wow! That was a lot they unloaded on me.” Big things. Things like marital troubles, work issues, health issues and financial stuff, just to name a few. One of the traits of being an Empath is to have people open up to them. Sometimes this can happen with people who need healing, other times I notice this comes from energy vampires.

I feel that I have gotten better (in my opinion anyway) about “bubbling up” and protecting or shielding myself, my energy, really, before walking into such large gatherings, but I still feel the aftereffects and the next day kick myself for not continuing to protect myself as much as I should during such events. (Cue Empath Hangover symptoms.) I also sometimes use, which I did last night, some Palo Santo Oil on myself prior to leaving the house. (I mix a few drops of Palo Santo oil in a small atomizer spray bottle with some distilled water and spray myself, as if putting up a wall of defense, and ask my guides and specific Archangels to protect me from negative energies. I feel that this helps with protecting myself from negative energies as well as psychic attacks.)

Between absorbing the energies in the meeting space, and being dumped on with people’s real problems and challenges, (and the occasional drop-in by Spirit), I find it hard to come home and just crawl into bed and go to sleep. I can’t “turn off” just like that. And by turn off, I literally mean turn my body off. I can feel it vibrate or pulse which I’ve come to understand as an energy overload. All of the energy that I have absorbed makes it hard to fall asleep and even stay asleep through the night. I’ve learned to try to cleanse myself (better yet, my Aura) by taking a shower when I get home. (I had this suggested to me awhile back from another lady who has some extraordinary gifts and I find it helps.) I also ground myself. Sometimes as I lay in bed rehashing things that happened through the evening that I can’t seem to let go of, I envision “cutting” a person or situation that is nagging my brain and watch whatever I cut, float away.

Meetings and any type of community service work can be a challenge for me. In one breath, I want to be out there helping people, in another, I find myself ducking out of largely attended events. Events that my take place in a community park or those that may serve a few hundred families in one day. It is too much for me still. I feel too much. I see too much. I can even take on symptoms of those around me. Sometimes I find fellow Club members giving me a questioning look as to why I am not signing up to do specific things. My secret (my gifts) are still a secret to most around town. Sill being in the closet has its challenges.  For example, there was an instance last night when the group was trying to decide how much money should go to which cause and organizations and I found myself blurting out “Does that particular one need that much money?” Followed by my head tingling and ears ringing. I’ll save this story for another day, but let’s just say that one organization that had some embezzlement issues a few years back is now miles ahead of where they used to be and I kept hearing – in my head – that the $500 that the Club was suggesting to donate to them should be knocked down to $250 and that the difference should go to X or Y organization instead. As you can imagine, it is sort of hard to explain to a room full of people that someone on the other side provided this info. (Someone from the other side who I think was at one time working overtime to make good on an embezzlement issue that she was a part of here in the physical world. Never mind that connecting with spirit can zap my energy as well.)

I’m not saying that I am doing everything correctly, but I am better off than what I was a few years ago with this. After a meeting or function, I still find that I am drained the next day. Nowadays the draining feeling lasts only about one day, when in the past, it could take me nearly two days to feel “normal” again. I’ve learned to not schedule anything important the next day, if possible. I’ve at least showered so far today. A few years ago I would have still had my sweat pants on in this point of the day, and considered it to be a “win” if the kids made it off to school and dinner was on the table by 5:00pm. Today I am showered, dressed half decently, and tackling my “to-do list” in a timely matter.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.