Ever Since I was a Child, I get Overly Emotional at Parades

Ever since I was a child, I can recall crying at parades. My first memory of this goes back to somewhere between 7 or 8 years old. I recall standing along the curbside a few blocks from my house anticipating how much candy might be thrown my way at an annual town celebration parade.

On one particular day in the month of June, I recall it being early in the morning, maybe around 9am, the sun just to the right of me, I stood waiting for the parade to start. My parents and sister were near me, along with many familiar faces as the town I grew up in was a small, Midwestern town.

The beginning of theparade parade. like most parades, was marked with a police car and a fire truck. I recall the firetruck at the beginning of the parade, starting its siren to announce the start of the parade. A jolt of excitement ran through my body as the siren blew. Then I experienced a cycle of me smiling, eyes welling up with tears, happiness overcoming me, a sense of pride, and then…the cycle would start all over again when service men and woman would march by,  or the Shriners would zip their small cars  around the street, or a marching band would stop in its tracks and play a song for spectators.

I was never scared at parades, and it wasn’t the loud noises bringing tears to my eyes. The tears weren’t that of being frightened or even sad. I recall having the knowledge that the tears that I had in my eyes were that of “happy tears” to the best of my description at that age.

It wasn’t until a few years ago I put the pieces together and realized that there was a reason for the tears at parades. (I still find tears coming to my eyes at parades even now in adulthood.) I have learned that I am an Empath and a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Yes, that is a real term, a Highly Sensitive Person.

Empaths can “feel” and pick up on the emotions of people around them, and people who are “Highly Sensitive” are more aware of and affected by external stimuli than non-HSPs. They are often empaths and internalize everything more deeply — from social interactions to emotions to physical and visual sensations.

You can learn more about traits of an Empath here: https://themindunleashed.com/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

You can learn more about HSP traits here: https://www.ourheritageofhealth.com/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person-10-signs-you-might-have-this-inherited-trait/

Wrap all of this together and at places like parades, I am soaking up the excitement and energy from the music, the crowd around me as well as the swirl of emotions that is taking place when service men and woman and first responders walk by or an honored community member who was picked to be the grand marshal.

In recent years I have learned different techniques to shield or protect myself from the energies around me. I will say that I have NOT YET perfected protecting myself fully at large, energetic events like parades, but I am doing better.

To this day, I still cry at parades (as well as at theater play performances,  or when the Anthem is sung in front of a large crowd,  at Superbowl half time performances, and even during large firework displays.) I find the energy to be overwhelming, but in a good way.

Warning: As an Empath, “Meeting Hangovers” Can Take Up To Two Days to Recover From

I belong to a local non-profit community organization and last night we had a meeting. It was our “end-of –year meeting” which goes longer than our normal monthly meetings. That particular meeting goes longer because we do a dinner and socialize at the beginning, conduct our usual meeting, vote on the following year’s Board Members, and then we divvy up the funds that we have raised throughout the year and disperse them to other causes and needs throughout the community. Last’s night meeting by no means was the longest meeting that we’ve ever had, but I was there for over three hours.

The group on a whole is a good group of people, though there are some interesting energies in the room. I don’t actually sit back and try to read the people in the room. I try to enjoy them for who they are, but from time to time I have found that I have been shown things about certain members. I also find myself “un-following” some fellow Club members on social media, but that is because I can’t handle some of the energy that they put out. It is nothing personal, I just can’t keep getting hit with negative funk.

Until just a few years ago, I didn’t realize that I was an Empath, or what traits came along with such a gift. Empaths  “sponge” all kinds of emotional and mental energy from other people – Good. Bad. And otherwise. I also didn’t know how to combat the “hangover” (a.k.a. Empath Fatigue) that I would experience post-large gatherings. When at Club meetings time and time again I find people coming up to me spilling some of their trials and tribulations to me and then I find myself thinking, “Wow! That was a lot they unloaded on me.” Big things. Things like marital troubles, work issues, health issues and financial stuff, just to name a few. One of the traits of being an Empath is to have people open up to them. Sometimes this can happen with people who need healing, other times I notice this comes from energy vampires.

I feel that I have gotten better (in my opinion anyway) about “bubbling up” and protecting or shielding myself, my energy, really, before walking into such large gatherings, but I still feel the aftereffects and the next day kick myself for not continuing to protect myself as much as I should during such events. (Cue Empath Hangover symptoms.) I also sometimes use, which I did last night, some Palo Santo Oil on myself prior to leaving the house. (I mix a few drops of Palo Santo oil in a small atomizer spray bottle with some distilled water and spray myself, as if putting up a wall of defense, and ask my guides and specific Archangels to protect me from negative energies. I feel that this helps with protecting myself from negative energies as well as psychic attacks.)

Between absorbing the energies in the meeting space, and being dumped on with people’s real problems and challenges, (and the occasional drop-in by Spirit), I find it hard to come home and just crawl into bed and go to sleep. I can’t “turn off” just like that. And by turn off, I literally mean turn my body off. I can feel it vibrate or pulse which I’ve come to understand as an energy overload. All of the energy that I have absorbed makes it hard to fall asleep and even stay asleep through the night. I’ve learned to try to cleanse myself (better yet, my Aura) by taking a shower when I get home. (I had this suggested to me awhile back from another lady who has some extraordinary gifts and I find it helps.) I also ground myself. Sometimes as I lay in bed rehashing things that happened through the evening that I can’t seem to let go of, I envision “cutting” a person or situation that is nagging my brain and watch whatever I cut, float away.

Meetings and any type of community service work can be a challenge for me. In one breath, I want to be out there helping people, in another, I find myself ducking out of largely attended events. Events that my take place in a community park or those that may serve a few hundred families in one day. It is too much for me still. I feel too much. I see too much. I can even take on symptoms of those around me. Sometimes I find fellow Club members giving me a questioning look as to why I am not signing up to do specific things. My secret (my gifts) are still a secret to most around town. Sill being in the closet has its challenges.  For example, there was an instance last night when the group was trying to decide how much money should go to which cause and organizations and I found myself blurting out “Does that particular one need that much money?” Followed by my head tingling and ears ringing. I’ll save this story for another day, but let’s just say that one organization that had some embezzlement issues a few years back is now miles ahead of where they used to be and I kept hearing – in my head – that the $500 that the Club was suggesting to donate to them should be knocked down to $250 and that the difference should go to X or Y organization instead. As you can imagine, it is sort of hard to explain to a room full of people that someone on the other side provided this info. (Someone from the other side who I think was at one time working overtime to make good on an embezzlement issue that she was a part of here in the physical world. Never mind that connecting with spirit can zap my energy as well.)

I’m not saying that I am doing everything correctly, but I am better off than what I was a few years ago with this. After a meeting or function, I still find that I am drained the next day. Nowadays the draining feeling lasts only about one day, when in the past, it could take me nearly two days to feel “normal” again. I’ve learned to not schedule anything important the next day, if possible. I’ve at least showered so far today. A few years ago I would have still had my sweat pants on in this point of the day, and considered it to be a “win” if the kids made it off to school and dinner was on the table by 5:00pm. Today I am showered, dressed half decently, and tackling my “to-do list” in a timely matter.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.