I’ve heard of the “Freshman Fifteen” but Nobody Mentioned the “Awakening 15” to Me!

scaleIt is fair to say that my “Awakening” started at least two to three years ago to my knowledge. And with the Awakening has come many health issues, symptoms, including fatigue, and last but not least, weight gain. Nobody mentioned the weight gain to me! I have honestly packed on nearly 15. It may not sound like much to some, BUT it is noticeable to me and my wardrobe.

I have gone through ups and downs with weight, including post-baby weight. I’m also not a Spring Chicken anymore so things do change, but in the first year of me knowing I was in the Awakening process I probably gained 5 pounds. (Not horrible.) But this past two years I have packed on another 10!!! I go through my phases of exercising and physical activity but when I am off the wagon, as I am now, it is so hard to climb back on.

I know that there is a lot playing into this weight gain. Never mind the fatigue that I have experienced from my body changing or re-wiring itself over the past few years. Or the fatigue I experience after the Adrenalin rush of a spirit anxiety attack. And then, as an empath, I can take on different symptoms, like fatigue, from other people.  I know that extra weight is used as a protection mechanism.

I have read that during the Awakening process that the body can feel an influx of energies that are unfamiliar to it, and when the body is confused, or feels under attack, it seeks to defend itself, and one way it does that is by creating another layer of energy for protection – a.k.a. fat.  The body will use fat or mass in order to block out unfamiliar energies. I suppose that this makes sense, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I like it.

I have also learned that emotionally, we sometime put on weight like a layer of protection. We use it like bubble warp from the world. (I suppose keeping an awakening and spiritual gifts from others around you would potentially call for the feeling of extra protection.)

Then there are the cravings and coping mechanisms of food. Carbs are my favorite. Then sugar and salt like to work hand and hand. Alcohol is also my friend. Besides there is always a reason to be having a drink. (Right now it is patio drinking season.) Patio Drinking Season usually follows Halloween candy (and parties) in the neighborhood, followed by Thanksgiving then the rest of the holidays that seem to be a food fest and surrounded by alcoholic beverages – party as a coping mechanism to deal with family and relatives.

Regardless as to why this is happening to me right now, I feel like I’m helpless. I feel like it is out of my control. And in reality, I am sure that I can or should be able to regain control somehow. Some way.

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I Highly Recommend this book for Empaths!

A great tool for Empaths both new to their gift and experienced!

A few days ago I purchased the book: Whose Stuff Is This?: Finding Freedom from the Negative Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You by Yvonne Perry. I am not getting paid for my opinion here, nor was I asked for it, but I think that this book should be shared.

As an Empath, I found that this book gave me validation for what I have been going through. It helped me to recognize my empathy overload, as well as to point out the unseen things (thoughts emotions, illnesses, hunches and even mental pictures) that I deal with daily.

I about fell over when I got to page 26. Page 26 is where Chapter 2 starts. This was my experience exactly! As if I wrote this part of the book, (Which I didn’t, lol!) From Urgent Care facilities, to ambulances, to specialists’ offices!

“What’s wrong with me doc?”……book

“I can’t find anything wrong with you!…

….It must be Anxiety! (I hate that word!)

….It must be Allergies!!! (Thanks, I’ve been tested for everything!!)

And on page 28, the panic attack in Wal-mart! (Mine was actually at a Hobby Lobby Store!)

I still have issues dealing with my Empath abilities, but this book has helped me to learn to filter out other people’s emotions, and to try to manage my own energy better. I seriously have a chunk of the book’s text underlined and post-it notes stuck throughout it so that I can go back to it time and time again for reference.

Again, I was not asked by anyone to share this book and I was not paid for my option of it. It is a tool that worked for me and perhaps it will help other Empaths as well! – MBH

Journal Entry: 1/17/2016

My ears have been buzzing a lot since yesterday. I’ve had a lot of crown and third eye tingling.

Guilt That I Don’t Know What to do With This!

This is one of those moments that I feel good that I may have figured a little more of this gift out, but then I am really bothered by the fact that I don’t know how to use it or how to help with it.

Well, here we go again. Today I have a morning where I am “vibrating” again. I even pass on coffee as I feel I can’t shake on the inside anymore. My heart was pounding, was dizzy. I prayed that I didn’t pass out in the shower and my kids would find me. I remember thinking: Will they even realize to call 911?? (We’ve gone through the drill many times!)

After the kids headed off to school, I headed to a friend’s house to help her and her family pack for what was an “unexpected” move, to those of us who thought we were close to her. (Not so unexpected to them.) I make it through the packing ok. Maybe because I am distracted by the work that needed to be done, or maybe because I was getting good at “holding it together” in front of others.

I headed home a little before lunch and the vibrating, heart-pounding, dizziness thing started to happen again. I decided to ask out loud: “Please go away – I am not working right now. Also, please stop making me feel sick!” (Free will!) Soon after, it was like someone flipped the switch. The vibrating feeling on the inside of my body went away. My heart stopped pounding and the dizziness disappeared. I was drained, but the feelings were gone. I had a moment of normalcy.

Later that afternoon, after one of my children got off of the bus after school, he walks in the door and tells me that one of his buddies from the neighborhood who he hangs out with often, just had his 98-year old grandfather pass away. He also mentioned that the Grandfather was living with the boy and his family when he passed.

I processed this for a while trying to piece the puzzle of my day together.

The feelings and symptoms that I had been feeling….

The “turning it off and having it work for me earlier that afternoon…

The death that my child just informed me about….

One thing that popped into my head was the idea that the grandfather might possibly be trying to contact me. Technically, by proximity, I was the closet (and he probably thought the easiest) medium of contact that he could have used in the event that he needed help delivering a message to his family. I mean we are literally talking 5 houses down and over one….

This is one of those moments that I feel good that I may have figured a little more of this gift out, but then I am really bothered by the fact that I don’t know how to use it or how to help with it. Really a feeling of guilt like I mislead a spirit who thought that I could have helped. – MBH

My “Anxiety” is Brewing Again

Some would say “panic attack” but I don’t know what is so panicky about the produce at my local store.)

So my “Anxiety” is brewing again. My husband keeps talking about his upcoming work-related travel trips. (This is a re-occurring trend that my Acupuncturist pointed out to me that he noticed. The trend that I seem to get more “Anxious” when my husband is gone.) I am not sure why, as in the past I really enjoyed having the TV to myself in the evenings, or having the whole bed to myself. I cannot connect the dots as to why I am anxious when he is gone.

Today while stopping off at the store for a few items, I got REALLY woozy and light headed. My heart started to race. (Some would say “panic attack” but I don’t know what is so panicky about the produce at my local store.) The floor kept feeling like it was rocking, like I was on a boat. After leaving the store, I went home and I made an appointment to see my Acupuncturist. His office made room for me on the schedule and got me in that afternoon.

Update: (October 16, 2015) – I didn’t sleep very well last night. Which is rare after an acupuncture treatment for me. I usually sleep like a baby after.

Dreams, Numbers and Nauseousness

Last night I had a dream and in it, a post card was shown to me. I remember trying to look at it again and again to see what “clues” I could get from it. I am not sure what was on the postcard, I think that I remember a mountain being on the front of the card and a note on the back, but I remember not being able to make out the handwriting.

This morning I felt nauseous. A common feeling over the past week – No I am not pregnant. I managed to run to the store so that dinner and lunches could be had. While checking out, the receipt total came to $111.11.

reciept2-watermark

When the number 1 is repeated many times to display numbers such as 11, 111, or 1111; it is a sign from the other side saying that you are being guided. It isn’t a destination, but more of an invitation. Spirits use numbers to try to get our attention to something more spiritually significant.

According to Doreen Virtue, 1, 11, 111, and 1111 in Angel Numbers all mean: “Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts are manifesting instantly into form. Focus only upon your desires and not upon your fears.”

Later I took a photo of the receipt from my recent store visit and shared it with a friend of mine who works with angels and guides, and also performs reiki healing. My friend suggested that I look up information on “Clairsentience.”

Clairsentience means “Clear Feeling” or “Clear Sensing” and it is a heightened form of empathy. Clairsentience is the ability to feel the present, past or future physical and emotional states of others, without the use of the normal five senses. (I am not sure why my friend suggested that I get familiar with the word, but I never thought to question it.)

She also suggested that I mediate in the morning for 20-30 minutes to see if that helps me with my nauseousness.  We’ll see if I can get myself to do so.  Making time and space to mediate is a challenge for me, or so I think. – MBH