Another Mysterious Health Symptom – Food Allergy or another Affinity to My Awakening Process?

I wrote this to help anyone else who is experiencing mysterious ailments and symptoms to not feel alone. Though I need to dig (inside of me) to find the root cause of my situation, perhaps you can relate to what I went through today.

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I’ve had a slew of medical and mysterious health “symptoms” along my awakening process. I have learned that some of my symptoms have had to do with changes in my body, changes in my energy, or changes in the energy in the solar system or on the planet. I’ve learned that some of my symptoms and even anxiety can have to do with emotions or experiences working themselves to the surface. I have also learned that the “symptoms” can be a nudge from my body when I am venturing off my path or purpose, trying to get me to where I need to be.

I will go long time periods without having any issues and then Boom! Something happens and some medical mystery pops up which is followed by panic, a lot of Google searching, and a slew of doctor visits and tests that lead to, well, nothing that Western Medicine can figure out. In the past, I’ve had medical mysteries last weeks and even months and then disappear.

Today’s Mystery:

This morning was a morning like any other. Before taking the kids to the bus stop, I had my usual coffee and decided to have a banana. Nothing out of the ordinary. I drove to the bus stop (It’s below zero out today).

Before the bus even arrived, it started. My mouth and tongue started to tingle and my lips started to feel funny. My mind automatically goes off the deep end thinking that my throat is closing up. I looked in the mirror to see if there was any swelling. So far, there wasn’t. In the mists of the panic, I couldn’t tell if my throat was closing up or not, or if I was experiencing anxiety. (In these situation, I’ve learned to try to take a moment and evaluate the situation to see if it is really an emergency or anxiety.) I tend to carry a bottle in of water in the car with me (and even Benadryl in my wallet) at all times. I took a few sips of water to make sure that I could swallow. I could. I held off on the Benadryl for now. I hate taking it because then my day is shot by being so tired. I swear that it also wreaks havoc on my thyroid and adrenal glands and messes with my emotions, too.

I called my neighbor to see if she was home. My thought was that maybe if went to her house and chatted for a bit, I’d get my mind off of things and start feeling better. I got her voicemail immediately. I then texted her to see if she was home this morning – she didn’t text back immediately. I didn’t feel that I needed the ER so I circled back to my house. I popped a half of a Benadryl (in the event this was some sort of an allergic reaction) and then I attempted to meditate to try to settle my anxiety.

My neighbor called me back and offered to take me to the doctor or if she could help with anything. We chatted about the things we have been up to later so that helped to calm me as well. She offered to check in on me again later.

Of course the Benadryl, even though I only took half a dose, makes me a feel like I’m walking around in a fog. I tried to work on some journal entries and get some house stuff done. I noticed that my mouth still didn’t feel quite right – like I scraped my tongue on something hard or burnt it. I then noticed that my mouth, lips and even my lower half of my face felt like it was having muscle spasms. (My teeth and gums have been feeling sensitive lately, but I have blamed that on being out of my good toothpaste and using my husband’s instead.)

To make matters more anxious and stressful, my husband is out of town traveling. That adds stress to situations like this because I worry that if I do have a medical situation or end up in the ER, how will the kids be handled once they are home after school or if something happens in the middle of the night.

I had similar sensations to what I had today, once before, like 6 years ago. My tongue had a burning sensation to it for a few days. (I blamed some spicy meal we had at first, but then it lasted for a few days.) My throat felt like it was going to close up, but back then, I didn’t recognize the anxiety. Western medical doctors told me that my sensations might have to do with acid reflux and to take an over the counter 24-antacid and to follow up with an allergist. The allergist couldn’t come up with concrete findings in her allergy testing, besides the fact that I had seasonal allergies and suggested that I take a 24-hr allergy medicine and suggested that I could take up to 2 in a 24/hr period. She also suggested that I carry Benadryl and an EpiPen, but again, no concrete answers on what I was allergic to enough to cause the sensations that I was experiencing.

Further along in my morning, I asked that “if the face and mouth symptoms are not for me, to please put them back in their proper space and time.” (A little Empath trick that I learned to do when trying to determine if the symptoms that I have picked up for really mine or not.) Well, after asking, I still had the symptoms, though they subsided a bit.

As I write this, my ears are buzzing like crazy, (and the face/mouth) has subsided. I also have a tingling in my head. I get the buzzing when Spirit is trying to get my attention. The buzzing is hard for me to tune in to because I do feel so short circuited after the anxiety kicked in. However by having the symptoms changed after I asked (free will) I am calmer in the fact that perhaps this isn’t a medical situation as much as a Spirit situation. I also feel my hands and feet pulsating.

I happened to be in contact with my acupuncturist today, as well as one of my mentors. Some of the reasons that I may be experiencing these symptoms could be:

 – I reached out to a mentor of mine. She did suggest that I could be sensitive to the banana (which I haven’t noticed before, but with my every-changing sensitives, you never know). She suggested that I make sure that I wash my fruits and veggies well.

– She also reminded me that we become more sensitive as we awakening more and become more intuitive. (Something I’ve told others, but forget to remind myself.)

 – The metaphysical emotional meaning as to what I am experiencing with my mouth/lips/tongue: Not speaking truth, sexual shame, not feeling supported to speak up. Not feeling valued. (Time to look for parallels.)

 – Teeth symptoms: Pondering over new information or solutions and pondering new ideas. (Which I have been.)

 – I asked my Acupuncturist what my symptoms could mean in Chinese Medicine. She suggested that it could be “Wind.” (Wind is one of the six external factors of disease – six Qi or six Yin/Six Excesses – that can attack the body, enter the meridians, and cause external diseases.) She said that Wind can cause spasms, coughing, sneezing and itching.

 – I read that the twitching symptoms could have to do with claircognizance “downloads.” These meaning that these downloads are like software or app upgrades on computer devices, except they are happening to a person.

changes aheadFor all that happened today, my day has seemed to fly by. It looks like I have some internal reflecting to do.

I am sharing this experience to help anyone else who is experiencing mysterious ailments and symptoms to not feel alone.  You’re not alone! And you’re not crazy!! You’re just going through an awakening!!

Integrity is Hard to Ignore When you are in the Midst of an Awakening

One of the shocking things for many people as they “wake up” is how “out-of-integrity” they’ve been for most of their lives. A Spiritual Awakening has to do with character growth and that can include an enhanced sense of integrity.
Integrity is in one word: “honesty.” When someone, something or someplace shows you otherwise, it is time to move on.

I have always thought of myself as an honest person. Sure I give little “white lies” to my children as needed, and maybe I don’t always tell my husband “everything” that I bought during a shopping trip, (or really much about ALL of my psychic abilities at this point – yet) but on the whole, I am an honest person, I try to be a person of my word, and I try to my best to help people and to not to hurt them.

integrity-2Though I have read that “increased integrity” (honesty) is a “symptom” of the Spiritual Awakening process, I am not sure if me noticing my integrity and the integrity (or lack thereof) of those around me is part of my awakening process alone, or if it has something to do with the way that the world itself is “waking up” and taking notice of wrongdoings. I am referring to the lack of integrity that we are taking notice of in places like the entertainment world, the political world, the medical field and in our educational and religious institutions. It is as though the masks are falling away and the truth and B.S. is starting to reveal itself. And for the record, I am far from a perfect person, but lately that kick-in-the-gut-when-something-isn’t-right-feeling keeps showing up for me again and again when I am around certain people, watching certain things or hearing certain information. The kick-in-the-gut-feeling tells me to leave the room, change the channel or to remove myself from the people I am associating with.

I have noticed examples of integrity, or lack thereof, popping up around me, as well as for other people I know.  I have a friend who recently witnessed the cracks in authority in her child’s school that she used to trust whole-heartedly. I have another friend who, in recent months, became heartbroken when she witnessed a lack of integrity from her childhood church which she now attends with her family. Another parent I know recently stepped down from his child’s PTO and another family I know removed their child from the sports team that he was part of – all situations had the same thing in common – a lack of integrity. Clearly I am not along, here.

In the last few months, I personally recognized the lack of integrity of a local, non-profit organization that I have belonged to for over five years. In my time with this organization I have seen a few things that have shown (a small number of) members’ true colors here and there, and I just sort of dismissed it and moved on, but recently I witnessed grown adults flat out lying and covering up facts to other adults about a negative situation that happened. Word had also gotten out that some members of the organization were difficult in working alongside another organization at a community event that was held during the holidays last year, among other negative rumblings about the organization throughout the community.  During my involvement, I have continually watched some of the organization’s so-called “leaders” stunt the growth of the organization for their own ego(s) and resistance to change – change that could happen for the better of the community that is serves.

integrity-1None of us have integrity 100% all of the time, but I find it hard to support and be a part of an organization, whether it be a school, a church, a local group,,  or even a local sports team that acts like this. And though I’ve dismissed a few things that I have seen in the organization during my time there, I haven’t seen things as ugly and toxic as I have in recent months. I don’t know if part of this has to do with my “gifts” and energy sensitivities, or if the crap is really just coming up to the surface. In the time leading up to me deciding to depart from the organization, I actually had visions (and I still get them) of me walking away from the organization and it imploding behind me. (Like literally exploding, smoke, explosions and all, as I walk away.) I’ve heard through the grapevine that meeting attendance has drastically shrunk at the organization’s monthly meetings so perhaps the vision was not far off.  I’ve had conversations with other members who have shared that they feel that it is time for them to also move on, though for some, it hasn’t been easy. What is also interesting that I am seeing is that a majority of those who are sticking around are those who are more toxic or have more toxic personalities. (“Like things” – or like energies – tend to stick together.)

I realize that it is not up to me to judge those who are still “driving the bus” of the organization.  When you know better, you do better and most of them don’t know any better.  Nor is it up to me to judge those who have decided to stick with the organization – for now. Through my transformation process I have learned that I don’t need to judge, I can just observe and take myself out of the dance. But in the meantime, I can do it with integrity.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

I’ve heard of the “Freshman Fifteen” but Nobody Mentioned the “Awakening 15” to Me!

scaleIt is fair to say that my “Awakening” started at least two to three years ago to my knowledge. And with the Awakening has come many health issues, symptoms, including fatigue, and last but not least, weight gain. Nobody mentioned the weight gain to me! I have honestly packed on nearly 15. It may not sound like much to some, BUT it is noticeable to me and my wardrobe.

I have gone through ups and downs with weight, including post-baby weight. I’m also not a Spring Chicken anymore so things do change, but in the first year of me knowing I was in the Awakening process I probably gained 5 pounds. (Not horrible.) But this past two years I have packed on another 10!!! I go through my phases of exercising and physical activity but when I am off the wagon, as I am now, it is so hard to climb back on.

I know that there is a lot playing into this weight gain. Never mind the fatigue that I have experienced from my body changing or re-wiring itself over the past few years. Or the fatigue I experience after the Adrenalin rush of a spirit anxiety attack. And then, as an empath, I can take on different symptoms, like fatigue, from other people.  I know that extra weight is used as a protection mechanism.

I have read that during the Awakening process that the body can feel an influx of energies that are unfamiliar to it, and when the body is confused, or feels under attack, it seeks to defend itself, and one way it does that is by creating another layer of energy for protection – a.k.a. fat.  The body will use fat or mass in order to block out unfamiliar energies. I suppose that this makes sense, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I like it.

I have also learned that emotionally, we sometime put on weight like a layer of protection. We use it like bubble warp from the world. (I suppose keeping an awakening and spiritual gifts from others around you would potentially call for the feeling of extra protection.)

Then there are the cravings and coping mechanisms of food. Carbs are my favorite. Then sugar and salt like to work hand and hand. Alcohol is also my friend. Besides there is always a reason to be having a drink. (Right now it is patio drinking season.) Patio Drinking Season usually follows Halloween candy (and parties) in the neighborhood, followed by Thanksgiving then the rest of the holidays that seem to be a food fest and surrounded by alcoholic beverages – party as a coping mechanism to deal with family and relatives.

Regardless as to why this is happening to me right now, I feel like I’m helpless. I feel like it is out of my control. And in reality, I am sure that I can or should be able to regain control somehow. Some way.

I Highly Recommend this Book for Empaths!

A great tool for Empaths both new to their gift and experienced!

A few days ago I purchased the book: Whose Stuff Is This?: Finding Freedom from the Negative Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You by Yvonne Perry. I am not getting paid for my opinion here, nor was I asked for it, but I think that this book should be shared.

As an Empath, I found that this book gave me validation for what I have been going through. It helped me to recognize my empathy overload, as well as to point out the unseen things (thoughts emotions, illnesses, hunches and even mental pictures) that I deal with daily.

I about fell over when I got to page 26. Page 26 is where Chapter 2 starts. This was my experience exactly! As if I wrote this part of the book, (Which I didn’t, lol!) From Urgent Care facilities, to ambulances, to specialists’ offices!

“What’s wrong with me doc?”……book

“I can’t find anything wrong with you!…

….It must be Anxiety! (I hate that word!)

….It must be Allergies!!! (Thanks, I’ve been tested for everything!!)

And on page 28, the panic attack in Wal-mart! (Mine was actually at a Hobby Lobby Store!)

I still have issues dealing with my Empath abilities, but this book has helped me to learn to filter out other people’s emotions, and to try to manage my own energy better. I seriously have a chunk of the book’s text underlined and post-it notes stuck throughout it so that I can go back to it time and time again for reference.

Again, I was not asked by anyone to share this book and I was not paid for my option of it. It is a tool that worked for me and perhaps it will help other Empaths as well!

Journal Entry: 1/17/2016

My ears have been buzzing a lot since yesterday. I’ve had a lot of crown and third eye tingling.

Guilt That I Don’t Know What to do With This!

This is one of those moments that I feel good that I may have figured a little more of this gift out, but then I am really bothered by the fact that I don’t know how to use it or how to help with it.

Well, here we go again. Today I have a morning where I am “vibrating” again. I even pass on coffee as I feel I can’t shake on the inside anymore. My heart was pounding, was dizzy. I prayed that I didn’t pass out in the shower and my kids would find me. I remember thinking: Will they even realize to call 911?? (We’ve gone through the drill many times!)

After the kids headed off to school, I headed to a friend’s house to help her and her family pack for what was an “unexpected” move, to those of us who thought we were close to her. (Not so unexpected to them.) I make it through the packing ok. Maybe because I am distracted by the work that needed to be done, or maybe because I was getting good at “holding it together” in front of others.

I headed home a little before lunch and the vibrating, heart-pounding, dizziness thing started to happen again. I decided to ask out loud: “Please go away – I am not working right now. Also, please stop making me feel sick!” (Free will!) Soon after, it was like someone flipped the switch. The vibrating feeling on the inside of my body went away. My heart stopped pounding and the dizziness disappeared. I was drained, but the feelings were gone. I had a moment of normalcy.

Later that afternoon, after one of my children got off of the bus after school, he walks in the door and tells me that one of his buddies from the neighborhood who he hangs out with often, just had his 98-year old grandfather pass away. He also mentioned that the Grandfather was living with the boy and his family when he passed.

I processed this for a while trying to piece the puzzle of my day together.

The feelings and symptoms that I had been feeling….

The “turning it off” and having it work for me earlier that afternoon…

The death that my child just informed me about….

One thing that popped into my head was the idea that the grandfather might possibly be trying to contact me. Technically, by proximity, I was the closet (and he probably thought the easiest) medium of contact that he could have used in the event that he needed help delivering a message to his family. I mean we are literally talking 5 houses down and over one….

This is one of those moments that I feel good that I may have figured a little more of this gift out, but then I am really bothered by the fact that I don’t know how to use it or how to help with it. Really a feeling of guilt like I mislead a spirit who thought that I could have helped. – MB