Spirit said, “Watch and Observe!”

I witnessed something last week that reminded me that if we listen to our inner voice (Spirit, or Higher Self), and if we pay attention to the signs around us, we can use both as hints on the road map of life here in the physical world.

Before I dive into this story, I want to remind you that the stories and topics that I share here in my blog and in my other writings, are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I do my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you. In the case of this story, I do need to provide a few extra details about the subjects in order for you to understand the story, as I have lived it.

One of my children is involved with a local spots organization and as a whole it is a great organization to belong to, but just like anything else, it takes only a few bad (toxic) apples to spoil the bunch. Recently, there has been a family in our organization who has caused headaches for the coaching staff, spread negativity and proved their dishonestly over and over again, at least through my intuitive, empathic eyes. (I discuss how you can protect your own energy from toxic people in my Coffee Conversation and Transformation blog in this post.) At times, I also question if I am the only one seeing this crap, being too sensitive, or if others notice and pick up on it as well. And if they are noticing, are they okay with it? Do they agree with it? Do they see nothing wrong with it?

Time and time again I do second guess the information that I receive through my gifts. (I don’t actively read people I come in contact with, but I do tend to receive information on people who irritate my spirit. Those who irritate my spirit actually teach me something. Sometimes about myself, sometimes on how to translate different energies that I feel, sometimes to show me how far I have come along on my path. Other times “irritation” comes over me because it is a nudge to deliver a message to someone.) In this case, as recently as last week, I was starting to question my own thoughts towards the family that I describe as toxic. I was wondering if maybe I am too over sensitive and that these people really aren’t that bad? Maybe I’m just a b*tch and I am the crazy one here and everyone else is okay with their behavior?? As I am thinking this, I am in my car and pull up to a stop light. As I am sitting there, I hear, “watch and observe.” I took the message as watch and observe everyone around me, and not anybody in particular

As the week went on, I kept seeing similar vehicles around town just like what the family I have been second guessing myself on drives. Not just once or twice, but many, many times. It was never their vehicle or them in it, but a similar make, model and color. Towards the end of the week, it was almost comical how many vehicles I saw that matched theirs. This has happened to me before, when I see signs and symbols and a person pops into my head. I have learned to simply send love and light or to say a prayer for that person to give them whatever they need at that moment. A few times when I saw the similar vehicles, I DID send love and light to the family. We never know what battles people are dealing with behind closed doors.

I showed up to the next sporting event still wondering if I am wrong for what I think, feel and sense about these people. Before things got started, the mother chatted with a group of us and the conversation is light and airy. Again, I started to think, “Maybe I’m just crazy?” Maybe I am the one with the issue and is she really is not that bad? Maybe I am being too judge-y? But then I did notice that when I tried to engage in conversation, I found myself shutting down and not able to contribute to the conversation or make any eye contact. I also noticed that my body was always turned sideways away from the mother and the rest of the (extended) family. (As a reminder, Empaths shut down around inauthentic people.)

We made it through the game that day. The next day we sat through another game. The family was socially quieter and more to themselves, though the mother didn’t have any issues telling our coaches that they were in the wrong when it came to how they instructed her child on the field that day. I continued to be my usual self at the games and chatted as I normally did with those around me. I did find myself watching and observing more, but nothing earth shattering to make rhyme or reason out of took place.

By the third and final day, I had sort of forgotten about the whole “watch and observe” message. Two games took place back to back. After each game an MVP award was awarded to a player on each team. While in some cases it is an honor to get an MVP award because the child who is awarded it truly DID go above and beyond to help his team out, overall the MVP award is a joke and a money maker for an outside company whose goal is to gather a solicitation list of kids and their families together to go, play and spend a lot of money at Disney. What I’m trying to say is that the award doesn’t necessarily hold much water, but it can be a proud moment for a player and their family. Because two games were played that day, two awards were given out – each time to a kid who wasn’t related to the family that I have had in question. And nobody else on the sidelines around me questioned who was picked.

After the second award was given out, the family didn’t hide their dismay. Their body language showed it. You heard them grumbling, and myself, being energy sensitive, felt the discontent and anger from them come over me like a tidal wave.

parents youth sportsOne relative, in a loud and angry tone, (in front of other parents and players) went up to our head coach to voice her dismay that the child related to her didn’t win the MVP award when he should have. She claimed that we only won because of that specific child. (Mind you the kid did a better job in the first game and this is after the second game.) The mother also chimed in during the confrontation. The first relative continued to throw down more anger at the coach and then walked away, but he called her back to finish the conversation that she started. The rest of the family/extended family just stood off to the side staring at the confrontation. No attempt to pull their people back or to talk them off of the ledge. As everyone waited around and gathered their belongings, the team and parents were grouped all together in one cluster, and these other people were off in a corner, arms crossed and pissed off faces, all by themselves.

It took me a day or so to process all that had taken place. I watched and observed and the truth came out from the question that had been weighing on my mind. Not just for me to see, but for multiple people around me to see as well.

Some time had passed until we had another game. (A cooling off period was probably a good idea.) This family, as well as their extended family, showed up to the next game like nothing ever happened. (Personally, I feel that one’s apology should be as LOUD as one’s disrespect. And in this case, the apology needed to go to the organization as a whole since so many people where witness to the confrontation.)

I share this experience with you to remind you to watch for the signs and symbols that are around you. Look for patterns. Look for things that keep crossing your path. Also, we all have that little voice in our head that offers us advice — if we choose to listen to it. I say, listen to it. That voice doesn’t lie. And if you have something weighing on your mind, ask Spirit to show you an answer or to give you clarity. If you are paying attention, you will get an answer by observing what you hear and see.

We are Just Here to Celebrate a Wedding – and That is It.

outdoor weddingWhen those with gifts are close to a situation or the situation is about us, we can’t always bet a read on it. I myself can feel a block where I don’t receive information and other times I feel my brain getting in the way and filling in the blanks or re-writing what I get.

Today I had a visit with my “massage therapist” (that is how I refer to her when it comes to my husband) who really is a reiki master as well as a kind, gentle woman who has many other spiritual gifts. I should just really drop the word “massage” and refer to her as my “therapist” because every time I leave from a visit, I am 100x better emotionally, physically and spiritually than when I showed up.

Before each appointment starts, Mrs. A. (as we’ll call her) will ask me, “What are we working on today.” Sometimes I will point out an area where I have been experiencing chronic pain, other times I will discuss with her my latest health issues or health mysteries and then there are times like today, where physically I am feeling fine for the most part but I have something going on behind the scenes that I need to get off my chest or I am seeking answers for. Walking in today I feel rather fine. I have been feeling like I have been floating on air as I was recently Reiki Level 1 attuned. Today, the only thing I see in front of me is an upcoming family wedding. To most, it sounds like a fun time, but in this case, I have an interesting cast of characters who I will be coming in contact with. Many of whom left me with a very negative feeling the last time I saw them.

I describe what happened in this blog past: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As the time has drawn nearer for this event, I have found it hard to lose the ten pounds that I was hoping to lose (emotional protection), I have found it more difficult than usual to find something to wear, which isn’t like me. (I chalk it up to I don’t know what I am walking in to.) And lastly, my husband would prefer to not even go but since this is my side of the family, I make the final call. And though my new motto is, “I am down to weddings and funerals” for those who either cause me pain, drama or don’t serve my highest good, I know that if I don’t show up to this event, that would be the nail in the coffin that could finish my relationship with this side of the family, and I don’t know what the repercussions could be in the future that I may regret.

I share my concerns with Mrs. A. on how I don’t know how to handle going to the wedding. I don’t know what I will be walking in to or how people will react to me.  I also give her tid-bits and quick back stories as they relate to my Aunt and a cousin, to name a few. I have caught visions of this event but I question if I am “making things up or not.” (I still have an issue on trusting what I get, especially when I am related to the situation.) I am confident that I will have guides and loved ones from the other side walking with me that evening so that has given me hope.

Mrs. A. has spiritual gifts as well and can get a reading on things. She paused for a moment and tells me that their problem is not me. It is their issue(s). I relaxed a bit when I heard that. She pointed out that I don’t connect with them and they equally don’t understand me, but that is OK. She also reminded me that we are all different and that is a good thing. How boring if we were all the same.

During my secession, Mrs. A. had me close my eyes and try to relax. We chat about what stones I should wear or carry at the wedding. She suggests Pyrite and rose quarts. The rose quarts is to remind me to show love while I am there. (Pyrite has protective vibes, helps with self-confidence and can provide a more powerful vibration.)  When I finally get my head clear and in a relaxed state (which I is never quick for me) I found myself in a sandy area with the sun behind me Sort of like approaching twilight, but not quite. She prompted me and asked what I was wearing. I was barefoot and dressed in what looked to be a long flowy dress sort of like what a belly dancer would wear but I wasn’t showing my stomach and there weren’t any gold decorative coins sewn on it. It was more conservative. I even had something draped on my head. I was sitting in the sand.

snakeShe asked what I saw in front of me. I saw a basket, sort of like the type you see a snake start dancing out of. Low and behold there was a snake. It was moving back and forth, not in a scary way, but in a rhythmic way. I pointed out to Mrs. A that I didn’t feel threatened by the snake or feel that I was in danger. She said “good! I am glad that you don’t see this as a negative thing because it is not!”

She asked me to look closer at the snake and describe it. I told her that I could see the scales up close and then I looked into the eyes. The eyes weren’t scary though. I told her they remind me of looking into my dog’s eyes. There was a gentle feel to them.

Mrs. A. chimed in and said, “So they look like unconditional love?”

I responded with a “yes!” And then add, “Like my relatives love me unconditionally.”

The vision ended with me scooping up the basket (snake and all) and carrying it under my arm. I walked down the sand, which felt like it had water running alongside of it so I feel like I am walking away down a beach toward what is now a sunset.

Mrs. A. asks me what I look like as I am walking away. I tell her that I feel that I am confident and wise as I walk away. (I snickered at the “wise” part as it felt conceded to say.) She asked if I was looking behind me when I was walking. I firmly felt that no, I am not looking behind me, just forward. Right then and there it hits me. The past is the past. I am not looking back there anymore.

Once I process that a bit, Mrs. A. has me picture myself at the wedding and asks me what I see.

I saw a large round table with a spot light beaming down to illuminate the table top. There were 8 or 10 chairs around it. I was the only one sitting at the table, with my back to the corner of the room. The rest of the chairs were empty. It was as if I was in the corner observing the room and the dance floor in front of me. The room itself was dark except where the spot light was illuminating my table.

Mrs. A. then tells me to switch seats so that I am sitting with my back to the dance floor. She asks me who is coming up to me while I am sitting. I sense that it is my uncle (the husband to the aunt who is the source of issues and drama). I have never had an issue with this uncle but due to whatever fall-out took place that changed my aunt to be negative towards me, I haven’t really had much of a relationship with him in the last year or so. In my vision, my uncle starts out by clearing his throat. I mention that to Mrs. A and she says that clearing of the throat is like trying to clear a throat chakra. (Wow! How interesting!! I never put two and two together.) She asks me to describe what we are talking about. I tell her that he is asking me what has happened. (Meaning with my Aunt.) Why are things the way they are? I tell him, he nods, and then we part ways with everything being fine and calm between us.

Mrs. A. asks who comes in next. I tell her I see my sister. She walks up and pulls up a chair next to me and sits down. Mrs. A. adds that my sister looks excited and is talking a lot, like she’s had a few drinks. I told her that I agree, that is what I am seeing. She asks me who comes up to us while we are talking. I say I think that it is my Dad. He comes up to us, says a smart-ass comment and leaves. My sister rolls her eyes. Mrs. A. keeps encouraging me and says, “Yes, you are right!” She then asks me,  “What is your sister so excited about? What is she telling you?”

Well, at this point, my brain starts to interfere and want to fill in the blanks. I presume she wants to bitch about my parents. (Mrs. A. says, “No!”) I tried really hard but didn’t get anything more out of her. Mrs. A. said that I will just have to wait until the wedding to find out.

wedding_vendor_dance_floor_luxury_interview_occasionlabcom_7Next she asks me if I see a white light. I say, “Yes.” She asks me where the light is and I tell her it is on the dance floor. She tells me to go there. As I am walking to the dance floor she points out what I am wearing. She points out that my dress is flowing and I am gliding or floating with ease and confidence. I start to slow-dance with my husband on the dance floor. She asks me if people are there and I say that I see them but they look to be in the shadows. I don’t see their faces, maybe just their eyes.

As I dance more, Mrs. A asks if I start to see the people. I say that I do and that they look to be emerging into the light now. I see their faces and they are looking at me smiling. She points out that all is fine and positive with the people around me.

This vision stops and things move on to what looks to be the next day. The day after the wedding. Mrs. A. asks me where I am at. I tell her that I am at the party the morning after. I am the only one there, there are the tables where people sat, chairs scattered about and things left on tables. She asks me how I feel about where I am at. I tell her that I feel good. That it wasn’t that bad. She asked, “sort of like you are reflecting and realized that it wasn’t that bad and that you had fun?” I responded with a “yes!” Mrs. A. then gives me some advice and more of the message: She reminds me that I glow with love and that I can’t get mad. (Basically because I am radiating love and light.) The wedding is not a place for a family fight. And that we are here (at the wedding) to celebrate the bride and groom. She also reminds me that I need to have my wall down so that I can radiate.

Before the secession concluded I did ask Mrs. A to validate a few things that I got in regard to the day of the Wedding just to be sure I wasn’t crazy or making things up. She validated for me that yes, it will be cold the day of the wedding. (The wedding and reception are taking place outdoors.) I asked her if there was a connection between my uncle, a watch and the wedding day. (I’ve picked up on this for over a year now but started to think that I was making it up.) She confirmed that I will get validation at the wedding about this but suggested that I don’t say anything directly as I may freak my Uncle out. It will be too much for him to take in that day. I also ask her if things resolve with my cousin. She confirmed that she will reach out to me in time. I respond back, “Why, because she is looking for a reading from me? And Mrs. A. confirmed yes. I tell her that I am not sure that I want to read for family. (Personally I think that I am going to find it hard to give neutral readings and leave my personal opinion out of things. As of now, I also find it hard to give healing messages to those who have wronged me or talked about me behind my back on numerous occasions. You’ve also heard the expression “don’t shoot the messenger” haven’t you? Well, I don’t need people not liking what information they are getting through a reading though I know that Spirit delivers what needs to be heard. I am just the face of it. The conduit.)

Lastly, I ask her if my aunt and I will make up. In the months previous, I keep getting visions of my aunt coming up to me with tears in her eyes. I see her dressed in like a lavender mother-of-the-groom dress though I don’t believe that she’ll actually be wearing lavender at the wedding. I also don’t see her bringing anything up at the wedding.

Mrs. A. responds with, “Let’s see what you get” and I started another vision. I saw myself in my office with cards laid out. She asked me to do a spread and tell her what I get. (At first I was like, “how is this going to work?” but I just went with it.)

I laid out three cards and I got different symbols. The first one was “Justice” which told me that justice is in my favor with the situation with my Aunt. The next had to do with balance. Then another had to do with blocking. I was the one blocking the healing. For kicks I “pulled” another card in my vision. (I usually pull an extra just to see if there is more to a message.) On the final card was an image of a newly found Guide that I was introduced to a few weeks ago. Her name is Rose. Rose appeared on the card and winked at me. I got the message to observe.

I tell her that I see myself at my Aunt’s house. In her kitchen specifically. Like my Aunt invited me over. We are getting along in my vision. Like we put things behind us. I still feel that I will have her at arm’s length but things will improve from where they are here and now.

My sessions with Mrs. A. never seem to disappoint.

61deba6a24b9c7d066b4753a1e62c05cAs I am walking out, Mrs. A mentions one last thing to me. She mentions that maybe it is up to me to heal the family and to break the negative cycle. (They cycle that someone is always on the outs. The black sheep. The one who is critiqued and picked apart.)

After an appointment with Mrs. A. I always get signs or symbols along the way home that tie back to my secession. On the way home, the song “Amber is the color of your Energy” by 311 came on. The song hasn’t been popular in years and it isn’t one you hear often on the radio.

The lyrics have to do with a woman who is beautiful and sweet that she radiates like the sun… the singer feels her energy and her love.

The “gemstone” Amber, (which is really fossilized resin) possesses very old energy. With this old energy comes the acquired wisdom of the earth! Additionally, it is described as a warm, cheerful, wise, protective, and healing stone. It will discharge all negative moods, and it will deflect negative energies that other people may direct at you.

Either way or meaning(s) translate back to the session that I just had.

Wish me luck.

The big day is in May and we’ll see how things unfold!

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Son of a B****! I Hate that I can’t Translate this Stuff

So time and time again (and I’ve shared before) I get images that pop into my head and I don’t know what to do with them. I get frustrated by this because sometimes the images that I get can be graphic and I always think to myself, “Can I stop something horrific from happening with this knowledge??” I don’t ever want to have the guilt of feeling that something may happen and I didn’t do anything about it.

On Monday, after the kids get on the bus, and I am off and running to knock out some errands. As I am exiting the neighborhood, I pass a neighbor who lives a street over. This particular neighbor suffered a heart attack a few years ago. I immediately get an image in my head of this man going into his home. He’s home alone and he suffers a heart attack! This “idea” that popped in my head was so strong, I got the feeling that I wanted to turn the car around and check on him.

Now, this is the first part that I struggle with when this happens: What if I go to this neighbor’s house and knock on the door, tell him what I just thought and then low and behold nothing comes of it?? I am labeled as officially being CRAZY! That is what will happen.

I, myself, on the way home from running errands, experience some chest pains. (Random symptoms that I experience always put me into a tizzy and at times lead to panic.) I have spent many a day and many a dollar in doctors offices, emergency rooms and urgent care centers with a slew of random symptoms that never seem to have answers.

Fast forward a few hours to later that morning. My phone starts blowing up with Facebook messages regarding a college friend whose father just passed that morning. I ask the sender of the message if this passing was expected or not. She replies with: “Heart Attack!”

Son of a B****! I hate that I can’t translate this stuff. I am sure that I need to be meditating more, grounding myself more… all of the usual. But I find it frustrating that I don’t know how to navigate with the information, signs and symbols that I am given. Talk about a head trip!

DOES ANYBODY ELSE OUT THERE STRUGGLE WITH THIS???!?

 

Journal Entry: 2.22.16

Today there was a fatal car accident on (I am omitting the street name for privacy purposes).

A few days ago I was driving down the same road, towards the river and I felt like my car kept wanting to go in the left lane and I felt like I had to concentrate extra hard to drive straight and to stay in my lane.  Nothing has happened with my vehicle since then so I don’t think that the vehicle is the issue. And we haven’t had any issues with it prior. I wonder, looking back, if Spirit was trying to show me that something was going to happen? Or maybe Spirit was getting me to concentrate while I was driving so that the same thing didn’t happen to me? (There are a ton of semi trucks that drive up and down that road and when accidents happen, they are usually involved.)

Looking into news reports, there is still no determination as to why the driver that was killed crossed out of his lane. Love and light to the individual who past, and to the family members, friends and community who are grieving this loss. – MBH

 

Angels Speak Through Children

Angels speak through my child to remind me that they are surrounding me with their love.So today, my littlest one came dancing down the stairs as I was making dinner. She commented, “Angels are everywhere!” as she danced around the room. It took me a minute to let what she said sink in.

I asked her, “Can you see them”? She said, “No,” as she kept on dancing.

I just smiled to myself and took it as a reminder that THEY are everywhere. THEY are always around us. And Angels speak through my child to remind me that they are surrounding me with their love.