Keep Calm! What if COVID-19 (a.k.a. The Coronavirus) is Just a Paradigm Shift?
What if the “Virus” is doing exactly what it is supposed to do? To dismantle which no longer serves us?
I know that it is hard right now, but it is VERY important to NOT get swept up in the panic and anxiety surrounding what is going on in the world around us right now. The fear and panic is manifesting low (negative or heavy) vibrational energy. PLEASE DO NO ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DRAGGED DOWN. It is important that we all hold ourselves at a HIGHER VIBRATIONAL LEVEL. What if the “Coronavirus” is really just a paradigm shift? A paradigm shift is defined as “an important change that happens when the usual way of thinking, or doing something, is replaced by a new and different way.” What if this shift will bring about changes within us, within our society and even within our planet? What if this shift or change will make us look at the world around us differently and as a result we will go about our daily lives differently? What if this shift helps us to shed what no longer serves us, or our highest good? What if this shift teaches us to get back to basics and live a simpler life? What if this shift opens our eyes to the idea that sharing makes more sense than trying to be successful on our own? This isn’t a bad thing, it is just different than what we are used to. What if all of this “down-time” we are experiencing is giving us time to hit the “reset button” along with time to think and reflect? Change can be scary, but that is why it is important that we keep our vibrational levels high (positive). We must not react from a place of fear, but from a place of compassion. Things like war, violence, racism, greed and hatred are NOT the answer. We cannot solve any problem if we remain at a low vibration. If you want to do your part in smoothing the transition that we are currently experiencing, raise your vibration.
Along my awakening journey I have learned that most dis-ease, body ailments, aches and pains that we experience in our bodies here in the physical world are related to our frame of mind and emotional state. (Louise Hay’s Book, “Heal Your Body” is a great resource for this topic.) I had an experience yesterday that is a perfect example of this that I would like to share with you.
As a reminder, the stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
This post is a bit long, but I think that the back story is important to share to bring light as to why my throat started to hurt.
As it relates to this story, parents all have different parenting styles and we all handle issues with our children as we see fit. In our house when my children have an issue with another child (which doesn’t happen very often) we start by addressing the issue in only the four walls of our house and try to talk through and rectify the issues that way. (I don’t bother my children’s school with the issue and I don’t reach out to other parents immediately.) If things are more serious or the same thing(s) keeps happening between one of my children and another child, (and it needs to be something big or my child’s reaction shows me concern) I will bring it to the attention of the other child’s parent. I’ve only had to bring up issues with other parents a few times so far in my children’s adolescent lives. Honestly I can count on one hand the number of times and I think I am up to maybe 4. In the times I have had to reach out to another parent I have presented the issues as a “heads up” to the parent to let them know that an incident took place. I don’t ask for anything in return. No even an apology to my kid. Just simply a heads up. I also ask that parent to let ME know what role my child played in the incident and to please let me know if I need to address anything with my child.
The times that I have been contacted by another parent about concerns or incidents that my children have been involved in, I thank the parent for reaching out to me and let them know that I will be addressing the issue with my child. I then sit down with my child and ask them for their side of the story.
As with anything, there are always three sides to any story…What this one thinks happens. What the other person think happens. And then what REALLY happened…. We all have our different perception or interpretation as to what is going on around us. In some cases one person might be in the wrong in their actions. In other cases both parties might be right or wrong in their actions.
If a parent contacts me about my child, I sit down with my child and get their side of the story and decide whether they were correct or not correct in their behavior. Then I circle back with the parent who contacted me and at times it has been appropriate that my child apologize to the other child. In our home we tend to “make things right” with the situation or other person and try to move on, even if we (or my children) feel that they didn’t wrong anyone. It is easier to just be a good human and to apologize and to move on.
My child (as well as our family) has tolerated the behavior of another child in our neighborhood for nearly the last six years. The list of things that this child has done that we have tolerated is a mile long and ranges from things like damaging our property, using inappropriate words and comments for his age, physically striking my children with other toys, and the best was the time that our family came home one day to find that he let himself into our house (and our dog running amok around the neighborhood). Though many of these things have continued to happen, the ones that I listed above all happened before this kid was 8 years old. (He is now 11.)
Over the years, after such incidents, I have kept my mouth shut and I didn’t follow up with the parents of the child because my gut feeling told me if I bring anything up, that it would cause bad blood with this family. My thought was by keeping my mouth shut and tolerating this kid that I was being a cordial and considerate neighbor. (As many of you read this, I know you are thinking, WTF? Why didn’t you say anything?)
Fast forward to less than two months ago, there were multiple verbal instances between my child and this kid and on the final time other parents were witness to it. Since it was the third or fourth time that it happened and I could see that it was wearing on my child, I chose to reach out to the mother of the child via text.
The mother responded quickly and thanked me for letting her know. She did allude to the fact that her child’s behavior had to do with a text message that a third party kid sent her kid, but she said she would address it.
OK, fine. My thought was “let’s move on.” I’ve brought it to her attention. She’ll handle it her way. We are done here. (I was actually surprised at the quick response as other parents have warned me that they never get anywhere with her when they have raised issues in the past.) I felt satisfied in thinking that this was a done issue.
Then just this week, my child (who is generally on the more timid side) comes home fuming, in tears and is looking to punch walls and to kick things. He tells me that “he can’t take it anymore” and describes what this kid, the ringleader, said on the bus to my child and got others to join in as well. My child said that the ringleader and another child were poking at him the most, though others were also chiming in. My child does lack courage when standing up to others and it is something that we are still working on, but I could tell that this incident shook him. He proceeded to tell me that this has previously gone on (since the last incident that I let the mother know about) and I could tell that he had had it and that the ring-leading child’s repeated actions were affecting my child’s mental and emotional state.
I waited a few hours (I always feel that a cool down period is important) and I reached out to the children’s parents who seemed to cause my child the most distress with one being the ringleader’s mother and then to another mother who I know, to make them aware of the incident. I didn’t ask for anything in return, I just wanted them to be aware.
One mother responded back to me. She expressed concern and said that she’d be addressing it with her child. She also offered to have her child come over and to apologize. The other… the ringleader’s mother, wrote back a curt message that evening. (Let’s add here that as an Intuitive Emapth, I can feel the tone of words that are written, not just spoken as well as have the ability to sense the feelings and energy of other people.)
The next morning while heading to the bus stop, I see the ringleaders’ mother running with her dog. She sees me, looks the other way and takes off. Later that morning, I get a lengthy text from her. Basically she thinks what her kid said/did to my kid in the previous incident a few months ago as well as the other day isn’t that big of a deal. Her older kid and his friends have done it before and she doesn’t think it is that bad. Boys will be boys. Kids will be kids. (She based this on the fact that she has experience with older kids.) She then spun things and went on to say that I don’t care for her son (well, YOU the reader of this post saw my above list) and made him out to be the victim. She then went on to say that she knows her child and she will always support him. The last line of her message was “Have a nice day!” (In her defense we are I Mercury Retrograde.)
Oh! The things I could respond back with! I was seething. The things I have witnessed her child do… The complaints I have from at least six other families who live nearby who have shared their experiences with this family and this specific kid… The things that other parents at school have mentioned to me about her son…..
I could feel my throat starting to get scratchy as my thoughts were becoming inflamed. I thought, “Great! I’m getting sick!”
I battled with myself as to what my next move should be. Should I respond back?
I thought, why bother? It is going to fall on deaf ears, no responsibility is going to be taken, some people have to be right, they don’t have compassion and they are self-absorbed. I felt that if I go back to her with anything, she’ll just keep throwing it back this way and that her anger and negativity are just going to escalate. Furthermore, if someone has traits they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when an Empath comes along as we reflect their “shadow side” back to them. (I AM an Empath!) Empaths tend to highlight and outline the traits of another person by not playing into lies, behaviors and narcissism.
I also struggled with the fact that my energy isn’t worth sacrificing and really needs to be protected. (People should protect their own energy, but for an Empath, it is even more crucial to do so.) Her lower vibration is just going to bring mine down to her level and the more I interact with her, the more this is going to happen.
And lastly, I feel that somewhere in this mess there is a bit of a “test” for me along my journey. Perhaps a test in keeping my mouth shut regarding things that I know. (See my post about “Spirit Gossip” and getting intuitive information on people who irritate my spirit.)
By dinner time my throat was getting worse and I started to take proactive measures with essential oils and elderberry syrup in the event that I was getting sick.
After dinner was done and the kids were off doing their own thing, I went into my office and I decided to “document” some of the recent instances that my child has had with the ringleader. (A few mothers who I know suggested that I do this in case these incidents keep happening with this kid.) As I was documenting, I also got the other information I had on this child out of my system. A bit of a purge shall we say?
I realized that after I was done documenting and purging, that my throat was back to normal. (Perhaps a reflective crystals ball in my window as well as my selenite wand did a little assisting as well.) Out of curiosity, I did get out my “Heal Your Body” book by Louise Hay to see what the cause or thought pattern of a sore throat or even throat meant.
Per the book, problems with the throat have to do with “The Inability to speak up for one’s self” and “Swallowed anger.” And a sore throat is associated with “Holding in angry words.” Hmmm, sounds like that hit yesterday on the head!
Today, I woke up with no issues in my throat. I also have a feeling of contentment. I know that I did the right thing by not engaging any longer with the mother. I also know that there is more to come and that I should just stay in my lane. The Universe will be taking care of the rest. #SpiritGossip #SoulContracts
From time to time I have received messages that aren’t able to be shared. Sometimes they can’t be shared because I don’t feel that the person will believe me. I feel that they will question or disregard how I got the information that I am passing along. Other times, for whatever reason, people are no longer in communication with you or they don’t reply to previous communications you have sent regarding other matters, so why would a message from the other side get any more or less attention from them? I’ll share two experiences with you. One had to do with a family losing a pet after a long illness, the other had to do with warning someone about how their emotions could play a role in the future of their health.
A Message from a Pet
I knew a family who I chatted with often. Often enough that their dog knew me and would greet me when he would see me. In recent years, the dog became sick and the family did their best to slow down his deterioration and to keep him comfortable. Eventually the family had to make the decision to put the dog down. One late afternoon within a month of the dog passing, and within minutes of chatting with a member of the family, I was in my garage looking for something when I saw the dog that had recently passed, literally pass through my garage. It was as if he was playing or chasing after something or someone. He made eye contact with me and on his way by, he said, “I’m, OK. Can you let them know that I am OK?” (So far in my “mediumship experience” animals in spirit form sound like humans to me and sound like they are talking just as you and I would.) I debated on how I should explain this message to the family and I eventually just chickened out. Looking back, I feel that I should have struck up a conversation about the dog and mentioned that I am sure he’s out of pain and OK on the other side, but by me changing the message a bit I felt that it would lose its authenticity so I chickened out. And now, so much time has passed, it seems even more awkward to bring it up now.
It is Too Bad that I Can’t Tell You to Check Yourself before You Wreck Yourself.
In another instance, I was clueless in how to get a message to a toxic person who doesn’t respond to you when you have tried to reach out to them for other things (i.e. invites to holiday gatherings, congratulatory messages and wishes and acknowledgements, etc.). This person has also done their best to avoid me at certain functions. I’m sure to a certain degree I’m done beating my head against a wall, based on my prior attempts with non-spiritual communication with this person. A no response (repeatedly) IS a response, and the older I get, I no longer chase people. I know, not very “love and light” sounding, but my own ego aside, my gut feeling is that the message that I heard from the other side will not be received well, processed, or heard, and in fact, based on the person who it is for, will cause more problems and tension.
An example of this is when I received a message about the possible future outcome of this person’s health. Normally I don’t like to share with people if I think they have an illness, disease or when I think their days are numbered. In certain cases, depending on who they are or what my relationship is with them, and what they directly ask me to tell them I may share a bit more with the person, but as a general rule, I don’t like to give out medical or health-related information that I pick up on. In this case though, this was more of a “preventative” health message.
This individual tends to hold grudges, many time fictional grudges. She tends to hold in anger, exclude people and she talks more than she listens and I once received a message in regard to her health. The message was: “If she didn’t learn how to release the anger she carries, it is going to fester into a disease.” The disease I picked up on (and had verified by another intuitive) was cancer. (This individual already had survived a bout with cancer in one part of her body and is now in complete remission.) I first thought that perhaps my wires were getting crossed and the cancer that I was picking up on was the cancer she had already had. But no, I got validation (as well as from an additional intuitive) that if she doesn’t learn to let go of her anger, and change her ways, her anger is going to fester into cancer. I felt that is going to be bone cancer of some sort. I also felt that she will hold at least one of her grandchildren (I am guessing a granddaughter is first) here in the physical word before she gets sick and passes. Possibly two.
Kind of a juicy message, no??
(You’ll notice that I had a second intuitive validate the information that I got. It is ok to use other people to help you to validate if the information you are getting is correct or not, or to see if your head is getting in the way of your intuition.)
Since getting this message I have extended the olive branch to both this individual as well as to some of her surrounding family members with little to no success. Perhaps someday I will be given the opportunity to deliver it, if it is not too late. All I can do in the meantime is send healing energy in that person’s direction. It is hard to share the messages that I get when the receiver isn’t ready, open, able or wanting to hear them.
After my faux heart attack back in November numerous tests were run through my Primary Care Physician and at my request I had testing done through a cardiologist as well. (My stress test was done nearly 5 years to the week of my previous one.) My Primary Physician didn’t think that I needed to bother with seeing a Cardiologist, but her hit ratio with diagnosing me in the past had been subpar. (I always think about changing doctors, but then I go long periods without having any issues. During those quiet times I should be forming a relationship with another physician, but then life gets in the way and finding a new Primary Care Physician gets pushed to the bottom of the list. )
During one of my follow up visits with my Primary Care Physician, she suggested that I go and see a Rheumatologist to look into the possibility of me having Fibromyalgia. Naturally, I didn’t care for the one that she suggested so I asked around and found another one who I had a reference on.
Per the Mayo Clinic, Fibromyalgia is: a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.
Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.
Women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.
While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.
Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:
Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as “fibro fog” impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.
Fibromyalgia often co-exists with other painful conditions, such as:
Irritable bowel syndrome
Migraine and other types of headaches
Interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome
Temporomandibular joint disorders
I will admit, when I have researched Fibromyalgia online, I do check many of the boxes, but I also know that my thoughts are my reality so I keep mentally not owning the possibility of such a diagnosis. For me, I feel like a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis would be a death sentence. Many of the symptoms ALSO overlap with those that have to do with the Awakening Process. In my opinion, Fibromyalgia is a “bucket” that people are put in when doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with them.
Over the last few years, I have learned of more and more people that I know being diagnosed with Fibro. Many of them are Lightworkers, Empaths, Energy Workers, and most have some sort of psychic ability. (I have a hunch that Fibromyagia may have to do some people’s rise in frequency and vibratory level, but we can discuss that another time.) Previous to those people having it, my experience with knowing others who have had the disease was a direct correlation to their own poor lifestyle choices. (The type of lifestyle choices that could be picked out a mile away.) And though many will tell you it is not a curable disease, I will tell you that I know a gal who was once diagnosed with Fibro but now doesn’t carry ANY of the symptoms of it.
I have also read many reasons/causes for Fibro including. Per WebMD, causes of Fibro can include from:
Genes. Fibromyalgia seems to run in families. Your parents may pass on genes that make you more sensitive to pain. Other genes can also make you more likely to feel anxious or depressed, which makes pain worse.
Other diseases. A painful disease like arthritis or an infection raises your chances of getting fibromyalgia.
Emotional or physical abuse. Children who are abused are more likely to have the condition when they grow up. This may happen because abuse changes the way the brain handles pain and stress.
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some people have this mental health problem after a terrible event, like war, a car crash, or rape. These events are also linked to fibromyalgia in some people.
Gender. The condition is much more common in women than men. Doctors think this could be related to differences in the way men and women feel and react to pain, as well as how society expects them to respond to pain.
Anxiety and depression. These and other mood disorders seem linked to fibromyalgia, though there’s no proof that they actually cause the condition.
Not moving enough. The condition is much more common in people who aren’t physically active. Exercise is one of the best treatments for fibromyalgia you already have. It can help turn the pain volume down.
From a Holistic Health Standpoint, I found this information from a site called: Heavenly Earth Projects. (There was too much good information not to share.)
From the Conventional Medical perspective, fibromyalgia and cancer are unrelated, yet from the soul perspective, they are both caused by old soul trauma and disconnection. From the Holistic Health perspective, the spiritual cause of this condition is a deep weariness of the soul. The individual has lived many, many past lives which have been physically, mentally and emotionally demanding. The effects of these negative vibrations are carried through in the DNA, and stored as toxins in the cellular memory of the body.
Toxins in the physical body cells are also a contributing factor in many cases. Mercury fillings, heavy metals, processed foods, chemicals/pesticides and so on. Detoxification of the physical body is important, and is also initiated with a Forensic Healing session.
Common Past Life experiences:
adventure, exploration, war, physical endurance in extreme conditions
pushing beyond normal limits, even through pain
self sacrifice of body and mind, to achieve goals and avoid emotional self
experienced severe woundings, torture, because of intuitive/healing abilities
These past life experiences can also result in other types of dis-ease, however, my understanding is that fibromyalgia is triggered by unresolved emotional issues relating to family, and can also be carried in the ancestral DNA. Though it is not hereditary, it can ‘cluster’ within families.
Common behaviours of a person with Fibromyalgia
helpful, responsible people who hurt themselves in their eagerness to please others, particularly family, and are not able to express how they feel
busy, tense, driven, stressed
lack proper boundaries
don’t balance activity with rest
doormat for others
less tolerance/patience for others, and holds this inside, causing inner pain. This resistance affects the nervous system, causing sleep disorders and pain
lack of life force energy
pain is used to avoid addressing emotional issues (the pain is actually the indicator of unresolved emotional issues)
the immobilisation of the body also helps the person avoid the natural expression of emotional energy via movement.
psychological pain is stored in the muscles. Anger, fear, guilt are all stored in the body. There is a deep desire for change but an inner resistance to making it, due to fear, resulting from past life experience.
back pain indicates something out of reach, and out of sight. These are emotions or issues that we are not ready to face.
obligated to others, leaving little time for self
feel loyal to family but there is conflict in the relationships – you feel trapped, hurt or helpless in the situation. You want to walk away but feel obligated to family member.
you need some emotional nurturing. You nurture the emotions of others, to the exclusion of your own.
And Per Louise Hay: When a person is under stress, the body reacts and tenses. Stiffness and pain is felt in the fibrous tissues, usually deep within the muscles yet there is nothing wrong with the muscles themselves. Stiffness is a result of rigid and stiff thinking. Tension, fear and holding on result in the body cramping and gripping. Affirm: I move easily and comfortably. My feet dance through life!
Well, today is April 15, Tax Day here in the United States. I had a long-awaited appointment (it took nearly 3 months to get) with a rheumatologist. My appointment was the first one of the day at 8am.
I went through a brief description of my health history, including the mysterious symptoms (some I now know to be metaphysically related but no need to mention that to a doctor who specializes in Western Medicine.) She did an exam and supposedly had my blood work from my Primary Care Physician. She asked me a ton of questions, which I appreciated as many doctors these days don’t seem to have the time to get to know you or your heath situation.
She then told me “I am giving you a Fibro diagnosis. You have Fibro but no autoimmune disease at this time. By me giving you a diagnosis, you don’t need to keep going back for further testing. Testing that would could lead to things like more radiation or even lead to finding something that in your body that ‘God gave you’ that isn’t causing you any harm, but others may say that it is a concern or need to be taken out. No medication is needed at this time. Yoga and Talk Therapy will help you.”
These words didn’t hit me until she left the room – was she doing me a favor by ending this train ride?? I know that I have some internal work and healing to do. I’ve always felt the push to do yoga and honestly, the Talk Therapy makes sense as I have not shared my symptoms, spiritual gifts and metaphysical experiences from many.
Did she on some level know that more testing would lead to something that didn’t need to happen? A surgery? A treatment? (The drugs necessary for treating Fibro would be a cocktail of a few different drugs, per her and my conversation I am already medically sensitive to medicines. I can’t imagine being on those that we’d have to fish around trying to find a correct dose for.) So did she do me a favor with a diagnosis that I was trying to avoid? (I’m going with “yes” on this.)
Right now I am just processing the idea that I have this diagnosis. I am still trying to “not own it.” I also think that there is something more “bigger picture” when it comes to Lightworkers and those of us with gifts. We’ll see what happens. Stay tuned.
We all have people in our lives who get under our skin or irritate our spirit from time to time. Maybe for you it is a co-worker, a relative, an Ex, or a busy-body neighbor who is always in your business.
I have a quick, little exercise that you can do anywhere: I want you to send *love* to three people who are bothering you. At first, this may not be easy, but you will feel freer every time you do it. When you practice sending love to your enemies, you are practicing compassion. You are also raising your vibration.
When you do this exercise, you are strengthening your emotional power.
It doesn’t mean that you suddenly become friends with your enemy, but when you harbor anger or hate, you may notice things like repeated problems in your life, illness, debt, insomnia and even injury, just to name a few. Why hang on to that? Let it go!
Give this little exercise a try and feel free to drop me a line and tell me how it worked for you.
Resolutions. Lifestyle Changes. Detoxes – All of the Buzz Words that we hear every year about this time.
When it comes to our bodies and food, the word “detox” means to rid the body of toxic or unhealthy substances. But why limit your detox to just the substances in your body? Besides detoxing physically, should you be detoxing emotionally and spiritually as well? Where else are “toxic” or “unhealthy” things (or even energies) getting into your life?? The answer could be right under your nose…
Is there anything or anyone that is showing up in your social media news feed that needs to be detoxed? Negative energy can come to you in the form of social media though other people’s posts, rants and comments. Maybe it is time to scrub your news feed? And you, as a human in the physical world, also made up of energy, you are absorbing that negativity or toxicity that your eyes are skimming on a daily basis. Did you know that negative energy can also stay stagnant in your energy field? If the posts, comments or people who you follow on social media feel heavy or negative to you, drain you, or if they no longer are serving your highest good, be rid of them.
What are you watching on TV, at the Movie Theater or on Netflix? What are you listening to in the car during your commute? Is the energy, tone or content negative or positive? What is the energy of the people speaking or of the topics being discussed? What is the content of the show, mini series or documentary that you have been binge watching lately? Are you letting negative energy into your living room or your vehicle? Is what you are watching or listening to serving your highest good? You have the power to make changes.
This is also a great time to evaluate who you interact with, associate with and represent on a regular basis. Who are you hanging out with these days? Who is in your inner circle? Do these people raise you up or do they drain you? Are they your best support system or are they full of drama? Do they have your best interest at heart? What organizations do you belong to or are you associating yourself with? Again, are they serving your highest good? If not, let them go. It is okay to walk away.
Do you have contacts in your phone or in your email address book who you no longer stay in contact with and most likely have not need to contact again? Let them go. Delete. It doesn’t have to mean that these contacts wronged you, but by hanging on to old, stagnant relationships, we can’t make room for new ones.
Your diet is not only what you eat, but it is also what you read, watch and listen to. It is also the people you hang out with. And in retrospect, we need to detox more than food from our bodies.
Don’t be afraid of letting people and relationships go. If people are meant to be in your life, they will find their way back. In the meantime, Detox. Let Go! Make Room for new!
As you get older, it can be hard to find. The magic of Christmas. Besides getting wrapped up in the busyness of the season, similar to weddings, I feel that the holidays, bring out the ugly in people. More often than not, stress and family drama block us from seeing what is important this time of year.
My husband and I have hosted Christmas day at our house for the last few years. We invite people from both sides of the family including extended family. Some show, some don’t. Others don’t even bother to RSVP. Some are pleasant when they are here. Others are oblivious to boundaries or manners but they are family and it is what it is. Because of the cast of characters at holiday time, or the family dynamic, stress can sometimes be a factor in the days leading up to and during family gatherings.
I had an appointment with one of my mentors today. Through energy work, she helped me to connected with my higher self and to get some answers and “wisdom” as I like to call it. I am sharing this experience with you in the hopes that perhaps it will help you to focus on what is important during this time of year.
During my session, I found it hard to relax and to connect, especially at the beginning. It is always hard to turn my mind off. Eventually I got into a meditative-like state and I started to feel like I was floating on air. I then got an image that looked like a home, my home, but it wasn’t exactly my home. I acknowledged where I was.
I then got a message that I (as we all do) will be tested by the Universe to see if I’ve learned my lessons along the way here in this place, we call life, (the physical world) or “life-school.” The subject of not taking responsibility for other’s choices, actions or deeds came up. I was told when people let us down (in the case of the holidays, maybe they let us or those around us down by not showing up for whatever reason) to not take it personally, to not take on the burden or guilt (or the guilt that others project on me) of their actions and to just “take these people for who they are.” I was reminded that I am not the one making the decision for other people when they don’t show up. That is their own choice to miss out and to lie in the bed that they have made.
Next, a person started to appear. It looked like the Virgin Mary. Next, I was in a room with a long table. The room looked like a dinning room in the medieval times. The walls were made of brick and there were flames on sconces along the walls that provided light. I looked around and I was seated at a table with a handful of people who were also seated. I couldn’t make them all out. Many seemed older than I but I couldn’t see all of the faces. I look next to me and the only face or person that I am able to make out is that of a man who looks like “St. Nick.” Not like someone you’d see dressed in a shopping mall as he looked more nostalgic than that. He was wearing white gloves. In my vision, I saw the white gloves hand me something. It was a bright light. When I asked what it was, the response was “magic!” At first, I was confused.
In my vision, the St. Nick-looking man turned into a Wizard, meaning he started to look more magical and more wizard-like. Sort of like Merlin the Magician with a pointy hat and long beard. He and I then appeared to be standing in my family room together, sort of behind my couch, observing my parents and children together. He said to “Let the magic out of the box and let it do its thing!”
His message was that the “magic” he was showing me was “the spirit of Christmas” and that “togetherness is the gift of Christmas.” A gift that we should enjoy. A gift we should appreciate. And a gift that we shouldn’t waste. (“How many years does everyone in the family have left to be together here in the physical world?”) I also got the messages that when things get tense, that I should send light and holiday spirit to people and situations that need it. Though this experience was my individual experience, I think that many can relate and translate it into their own life during the holiday season.
As more and more of us are “waking up” to consciousness, and as social media connects us to more and more people, it seems, at least to me, that Spiritual Teachers, Groups and people are a dime a dozen, most of which, in my opinion (and from the energy I feel/sense from them) are not for me. We all want to “find our tribe” and find a group of like-minded people where we feel that we fit in. Some of us are looking for mentors to help us along the way. As you explore different people and groups and teachers you want to include with you on your journey, my advice to you is to take a step back and see how these people “feel” to you.
Many people and groups (both in person and on social media) that I have experienced can have low energy, and at times, even toxic energy (drama) that they air on social media. You know, the ones who claim to be spiritual gangsters or healers, yet they post or discuss “sensitive” (violent or graphic) content and language that spiritually advanced people wouldn’t do or use?
In the group(s) that you belong to, do you find that the majority of members are constant complainers or whiners? (When you complain, you remain – most of us looking for spiritual growth want to move forward.)
What kinds of energy do those in your “group” carry? A high-vibrational energy? Or a low-vibrational energy? Are they draining to you? I have found that I am (and my gifts are) too sensitive for most groups and I’ve had to exit stage left more than a handful of times. Learn to “delete” the things and people that drain you! Energies are contagious. The right people who match your vibrational level and find you.
How many people are you connected with whose goal is to “sell” you something – an oil, a crystal, a piece of jewelry, a class, distance healing, a monthly membership, whatever it is, fill in the blank. Does it feel like they are trying to get more followers for their own benefit? Or are they genuinely interested in helping people with their goods and/or services? Maybe they started a meet-up or online group with the intention to solicit to people like you? Don’t get me wrong, we all have to make a living and we all do it in different ways, but if a person, group or teacher feels inauthentic, they probably are and it probably is.
When it comes to buying goods or services, also take a step back and ask yourself if the prices seem reasonable. Where are the items sourced? If you shop around a bit, you will be able to come up with the average cost of different types of crystals, oils, and energy services for where you live. If something seems to be priced too good to be true, well, as the saying goes, it might just be. Sometimes the item may cost a little more, but the person or the knowledge that comes with it, can make all the difference.
As far as teachers and mentors go, I feel we all have something to learn from everyone – both good and bad. Some people claim to be “teachers” but I have found that they should be doing their own inner work before trying to teach or help others. You may also cross paths with a teacher who you want to be NOTHING like. (There is still a lesson in that.)
The best teachers and mentors I have had, always gave me the “tools” (not necessarily a program) that I needed along my journey, at the right time. I have been able to incorporate what I have learned from them, into my life, to help me to grow or heal or to expand my gifts. The best teachers have also opened my eyes to different things, but didn’t always give me the answer. They would lead or nudge me to figure out the answer – sometimes on my own and sometimes with their assistance. The empowering ones are the best ones.
I have also found that some of the best mentors, though many ARE on social media, are a bit more under the radar and they post with what I call “grace.” (Not necessarily selfies that look like they belong on a dating site or images filled with “ego.”) They aren’t all “Look at me!”
The “teachers” who try to get a bunch of followers under them or the umbrella of their business, I have not found are the teachers for me. These are usually the ones asking for a financial arm and leg from their students (or groupies), or a bunch of volunteered hours in order to be certified in something. (As a reminder, we all have intuition, you don’t need a certification that says you have it!) The ones looking for a monthly, re-occurring membership I haven’t found to be necessary either on my spiritual path, either.
We are all energy. And energy is always in contact motion. With that said, we shouldn’t and aren’t meant to stay in one place forever, whether that means in the same group, around the same people or with the same mentors forever. The universes places stepping stones in front of us and as we advance, new people, teachers and resources are put in our path – if we choose to follow.
I will happily add that I started to lose some weight a week or so before the wedding and to this day, it is still falling off with really no effort or intention on my part. It is as though my “layer of protection” that I have packed on (you can read about here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/ive-heard-of-the-freshman-fifteen-but-nobody-mentioned-the-awakening-15-to-me/ ) started to melt away as I got confident in myself, the angel messages that I had received and what I had to deal with at this wedding. The weight has continued to come off after as I replay in my head what I observed in people that evening. I have also been more honest with telling some people around me about my gifts, which I believe has assisted in dropping the weight as well.
So, about the wedding… (Which was really beige and not white, by the way.)
While getting ready for the wedding, I had some down time and I used that time to center myself, go over what I needed to do (radiate my light and spread love to those around me. This is the message that I got from my Guides a few weeks back.) I talked to my “spiritual team” (Guides and Angels) and even performed some Reiki on myself. I
knew that my grandmother, (my father’s mother) would be walking along side of me that evening. I’ve known it for months. I was as ready as I was going to be. I was calm and relaxed and ready for whatever was going to come my way. I threw some crystals in my purse. I took rose quarts and pyrite. (Rose quartz is the stone of the heart, a crystal of unconditional love that carries a soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort. Pyrite is a protector of negative energy as well as a stone that give a confidence boost.) I performed my usual energy protection rituals and then we were off. There was a shuttle bus that could have taken us to the wedding venue, but we chose to drive by ourselves.
My husband and I arrived at the chapel prior to my parents and sister. We grabbed a seat and saved room for others to join us as the seats were filling up fast. We had a row further back. I was in the corner but felt it was a comfortable space where I could observe from. We got a wave from some members of my Uncle’s side of the family toward the front row, but no body offered for us to move up, which was fine, we don’t feel we are the first tier of people to be up in front anyway.
While waiting, I saw my cousin Ann*, my second cousin Lynn* and her mother, Auntie J.* walk in.
My husband was standing in the aisle while I was sitting in the pew. Lynn walked by and gave my husband a quick hug and tried to scoot by with just a wave and a hello to me, but I got up and greeted her with a hug. Then I see her mother, Auntie J. I went up to her and she let me hug her, but then I go to kiss her on the cheek and she turned away. I noticed what has happened but carry on without missing a beat. As that was taking place, my cousin Ann said a side-ways “hello” more to my husband, than to me, and tried to walk behind everyone and avoid me. I moved closer to her and hugged her and said, “It’s great to see you.” She murmured the same back and walked to the front of the church where my uncle’s side of the family was seated. I can honestly say that I treated each lady with love and respect from the get-go that evening.
Next my parents arrived. They squeezed in and my mother asked where my sister is. She walks in (she arrived with the first three gals, but stopped off at the ladies room) and my mother called for her to sit by us. I gave her a hug as she sat down near my mother and me. I could tell that she was irritated that she had to sit by me and my parents, as she would have preferred to sit up front with the cousins, but let’s be honest, your parents come first. At one point my cousin Ann motions to my sister that there is room where they are sitting up front, but then my mom chimed in and asked if there was room for all of us, and that ended that. You could see my sister’s disgust in her body language as she realized that she was “stuck” with us for the ceremony.
As the ceremony is ready to get started, I saw my Uncle, the father of the groom, and we make eye contact. I give both him and the groom’s brother a hello as they pass by and see me. They weren’t sure what to make of my “hello” but wave back.
Before and during the ceremony, no matter what I would say to my sister to attempt to make conversation, she would say the opposite. I would say left, she’d say right, I’d mention up, she’d say down. No matter what I tried to do to get anywhere with her, I couldn’t so I took a break from trying until later in the evening.
The ceremony was very nontraditional and had more of a “comedy” theme to it. Others seemed to relate to the inside jokes that were said and the tone of the ceremony. Though it was a nice ceremony I didn’t connect with it, but I reminded myself that I didn’t relate to many of the people who were in the chapel and vice versa, they didn’t understand me in the least bit, but all of that was OK. We were there to celebrate the marriage of a bride and groom who were starting their life out together. It didn’t matter what the rest of us thought. It was their day. The day was how THEY want it to be. Outside opinions didn’t matter.
Once the ceremony concluded, we stepped outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out of the chapel. My parents, husband and I greeted my Aunt and Uncle (the mother and father of the groom). All four of us exchanged hugs and handshakes are exchanged and we are told “Thank you for coming.” My initial thought was, “Great! Everyone is acting cordial.”
While waiting for the couple to come out, I saw my Uncle’s sister-in-law. We’ll call her “Pat*”. Pat had a really cute dress and flats on and I complimented her on her dress and shoes. She commented back, referring to the wedges that I was wearing, about how she followed the rules on the wedding invite and wore flats as suggested, to the outdoor venue. Her comment seemed a bit icy, but I believed the comment had more to do with her, wishing she didn’t wear the flats, than with me.
On the way to the tented reception, I stopped off to the ladies room. There I made small talk with strangers who were in there. I am one who normally will make small talk with strangers and offer a smile or lift them up with a compliment. As I looked in the mirror, I could see (and feel) that I was still vibrating high.
On my way out of the ladies room, my sister and cousin Ann walk past my husband not acknowledging him until they saw me and then they said something. I let it go and made some light-hearted comment back and we headed toward the reception tent.
Once in the tent, we got our table assignments. My husband (the only male who would be at our table) and I were going to be seated with my sister, Ann, Lynn and Auntie J. My parents were seated at a different table. I could see the disappointment on my husband and father’s faces that they weren’t going to get to sit together. I could also sense my mother’s dismay as well. I decided that we weren’t going to sit down quite yet and visit around the room first, but I also made sure that we acknowledge those who were at our table prior to sitting down. My husband and I took the long way toward our table and stopped at the bar first. I filled him in on what I had seen/sensed from other’s actions towards me at the church. To a certain degree he doesn’t see or understand fully what I see and feel as he is not an Intuitive Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person like I am.
We stopped by the bar and I asked for a cranberry and tonic. I made a point to not drink alcohol about 5 days before the wedding, as well as to not drink at the wedding for two reasons: Alcohol can block the flow of spiritual gifts. (Five days might not sound like much to some, but I feel like almost every day an excuse pops up to have a drink – a glass of wine on the patio, a drink out with the girls, a cocktail after the kids are in bed, etc.) Also, coming from a family tree of heavy drinkers, I decided that I didn’t need anyone accusing me of acting a “certain way” because maybe I had too much to drink.
On the way to the bar I saw a man’s face that seemed to transform into Lynn’s father’s face, who had passed. The face gave me a deep, knowing look into my eyes. I let it pass. Sort of questioning it.
While at the bar, Pat’s husband came up and talked to me and my husband. All was fine. We just made small talk. Also while in line I see my aunt and uncle’s sister in law, Jilly*. Jilly (as well as Pat) have a history or coming up to me at family events, especially Jilly, if they are the current target of negativity, or on the outs with, well shall we say, may Aunt Marie,* the mother of the groom. In the past, when they have been short on people to “chat” with at family functions, they will chat it up with me to kill time. That wasn’t happening at this function. But when you have been the target before, you don’t want to piss off the Ring Leader, so you abide by the “rules” and follow suit. This cycle of icing somebody out has happened for generations. It happened with my Great Grandmother, my grandmother and great aunt, and with my aunt and cousins now. Jilly and I never had a problem making conversation before but while in line at the bar, I said hello, gave her a hug and complimented her on the jacket she had on. In an adverse tone, and no eye contact, she replied, “Thanks, my daughters picked it out.” And turned her back and walked away. That was that. She was done.
I made a stop at our table before I made my way over to check out the dessert table and found some cute, older gals standing by a heater to try to keep warm. (It was not quite 50 degrees out and raining.) We chatted it up a bit. I enjoyed their smiles and warm energy, no pun intended.
After viewing the dessert table, I stopped by my mother who is trying to get organized at her assigned table. Her and my father’s seats keep getting pushed down further to the end of the table as Pat was organizing who should sit where. I tried to make small talk with Pat and my mother, but Pat didn’t make eye contact with me and tried to zip a zinger comment my way to make me “feel dumb” which I was aware of. At that point, I just moved on.
Since we are lacking family photos as a whole and we were all dressed up, my mother found a nice back drop and takes some photos in front of. We called my sister over so that she could join us. While this was taking place, I could feel the negative energy and comments from those hanging out at the table we are to be seated at in a bit.
After my mom was done with taking photos, my sister and dad start talking by the DJ’s table. I went up and tried to join in the conversation. My husband eventually joined as well. No matter what conversation starter I asked my sister, the harsh, snippy responses were thrown back in my direction. I almost asked her what was wrong, why the tone, is there something that I did? The look on the face and body language couldn’t be ignored either, but then I remembered, we were just there for a wedding. If I asked too much, I might have gotten a negative reaction and we didn’t need to make a spectacle. I just let it be. At the end of the day, I knew that her issues are her own and they have to do with the way that my parents raised us differently, under the same roof. I was raised in such a way that I became more independent and she was the one who was (and still is) always coddled and never confronted for her actions. I have also learned that she uses her body language as a way to get attention as the victim. Victims play the victim for the sake of attention.
It was finally time to sit down for dinner. As we sat down, I caught a glimpse of what looked like and reminded me of Ann’s father who had passed. I saw him look over at me and I sensed that deep knowing look. I knew he was there. Once we sat, I sensed the awkwardness kicking in, heads were down and everyone focused on their plates. It was more than a resting bitch face for some. In some cases, it was also the shoulders slumped forward. I decide to just take the lead and nip the awkward silence in the bud. I paid particular attention to MY own body language making sure that I was “open” to others and not closed off. I started with Ann. I ask, “Ann, how are the kids doing?” and in response to my question, I got an abrupt and angered “Fine, how are yours?” back. I saw Lynn’s eyes pop out of her head so I knew that I wasn’t playing up the dramatics of the tone that was used. Ann dialed it back a bit and asked me, “How are yours?” I kept my gentle tone consistent and explained some of my kids’ recent activities and then moved on to Lynn and asked about her son and she showed some photos from his Senior Prom.
I sat at the table with my arms open under the table and my palms facing upward. I recall during the speeches literally sending love and a bright white light to those at my table. I saw the gentleman who looked like Lynn’s father pass by again. I got the long gaze as he came by. I struggled with what to do with that, but clearly at this point in time, and after watching people’s behavior, my thoughts were that nobody was ready to accept the gifts that I have or the messages that could be delivered because they’d be coming from me. I do think that Lynn’s father popped up twice to me because her mother was also at the table. Though they were divorced when he passed, I know that there is still love and hurt there. Better yet, I think that Lynn’s son’s soul is that of her brother that passed away at birth. Again, nobody is ready to hear this.
I tried to chat with my sister a few more times while we were still sitting at dinner. I asked her questions about her work, her dog, and so forth. Still, not getting very far. While at the table I couldn’t help but to notice the “looks” back and forth between Lynn and Ann throughout the evening. At times I see my sister looking at Ann and Lynn’s non-verbal communication, but I could tell that she’s not in on it. She was more the third wheel that was used when they needed a bigger team. I particularly picked up on the looks and vibes whenever my dad walked up. (My poor father kept trying to come over and talk to my husband because he had little conversation at his table and equally felt bad for my husband.)
Eventually, the bride and groom danced their first dance together. They danced to what was my deceased Aunt and Uncle’s song – Ann’s parents. When the song is over, I literally saw my aunt and uncle joined together and waving at me as the song concluded. I smiled and thanked them.
At some point my sister, Lynn and Ann go off and dance. I felt bad for Auntie J. being left alone so my husband and I stayed seated at the table. At one point, when the ladies returned to the table, I was taken aback at what I saw. I saw a gray color around them – their auras, I was seeing the same color on all of them. It was like I was seeing their hurt and their “toxicity.” (An aura is the outline energy field of the body. A gray or dark aura reveals someone to have unclear intention. It can also indicate an unforgiving nature (to self or others), past life problems, unreleased anger, grief or health problems.)
My husband and I danced to a slow song. My father grabbed Ann for the dance. I know why my father did it. Ann is a connection to my deceased Aunt for him, as she was her daughter. She was uncomfortable with it, but that had more to do with her actions than his.
After dancing, I saw my Aunt Maria sitting by herself watching the dance floor. I thought that it would be a good time to go over and try to say something to her. After all, things seemed fine when we walked out of the chapel. I bent down and told her, “Today was really nice, don’t you think?” She turned halfway, gave me a glare and replied, “Yeah, thanks.” And turned her back toward me. I bent down again, thinking I would try again, but decided to just leave it.
I know that she is the pot-stirrer of this whole current family mess. In all fairness, she grew up around similar actions. (When you know better, you do better.) I know that she harbors a lot of anger and resentment which if not released, will turn into disease. I believe it will be bone cancer if she doesn’t break the cycle. I also known that when people stir the pot, they are doing so to put attention on them. For whatever reason THEY need attention so they try to get it by creating drama.
At that moment, I remember thinking to myself that I was thankful (for the first time in my life) for a girl who I went to school with – The Prom Queen. She was also a pot-stirrer and she was great at getting the room to turn on a person. I didn’t realize until now that the aggravation that she caused me years ago actually prepared me for moments like these.
At this point in the evening, I felt that I had only gotten as far as I was going to get with people in the room and that it was time to go. My mom gave me a strange look when I told her that my husband and I were saying our good byes and heading out. (My dad on the other hand was wishing that he could leave with us.)
I realize that my parents are trying to keep their noses clean in this family drama situation. My Aunt Maria is my father’s only living original family member left left so they don’t want to ruin that. Never mind that my father was taught his whole life to keep his head down and to avoid conflict. With that said, if people were treating my sister that evening the way that they were treating me, he would have been all over it making phone calls and having conversations behind the scenes to try to fix things on her behalf. I need to chalk it up to: My parents think that I am independent and can handle this.
Before leaving, we look for my Uncle to say “goodbye” to. I never got confirmation (yet) on the watch that my uncle was wearing at the wedding, but I have a feeling that someday in the future I will. (Refer back to my previous blog.) He was very pleasant and appreciative. A very different energy than my Aunt’s Marie’s. He put his hand on my back when we left and I felt his energy towards me – the energy of touch means more than words.
I am glad that we drove separately and didn’t take the shuttle back to the hotel. It turns out that Lynn was running her mouth on the bus ripping the ceremony and wedding apart with the bride two seats away from her. Definitely not the final words a Bride wants to end her special day on.
The next day, word gets to me that some thought that I was acting “fake” at the wedding and Ann had felt the need to reference me as “someone who flaunts their sainthood in order to find their horns.” At the end of the day I know that people’s issues are their own and their behaviors have to do with how they are really feeling about themselves. Empaths are mirrors to others. We reflect back to others what they don’t like about themselves and what they need to change or to work on. Let’s also remember that empaths don’t do fake.
If I was acting out of my normal range, my husband would have been the first to call me out on it, right then and there on it. I know in my heart that I was acting authentically.
I also realize that I vibrate higher than those I was around at the wedding. As a rule, when you vibrate higher, toxic people fall away from you. They also don’t know how to approach you. (I have learned this along my awakening journey.)
Later that morning, when it was time to head back home, I closed the hotel room door behind me. Before doing so, I paused for a moment. It felt symbolic. Like I was turning a page or even closing a book cover. Perhaps some family healing was put into motion the day of the wedding. Only time will tell.
*Names and some timeline order of events have been changed to protect people’s privacy.
The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.
As an Empath, it can be challenging to manage your energy, especially when you are in settings where there is a negative or toxic person or group of people. I have found that the simply moving away from the source of negativity does wonders for me.
What is a negative or toxic person you ask? Well, they tend to be people who have issues with maintaining relationships. They judge others, dwell on the past, have anger issues, they can never be wrong and tend to be brown-nosers.
These types of people like to be the center of attention even if it is negative attention. They will do anything to get you to pay attention to them and see their point of view even if they tell you lies or fib to you. They also tend to leverage themselves into a position where people have but no choice but to pay attention to them.
Negative or toxic people tend to either stir up drama or feed off of others, and at times will even help it to manifest. They manipulate, they like to control, and they like to withhold information that can be a benefit to others. They also like to blame others for their circumstances.
Do you know anyone who fits this bill?? A relative? A co-worker? A hair-dresser? A class-mate? A stage mother? A sports parent? A drinking buddy?
It is nearly impossible to avoid negative or toxic people all together, especially at social gatherings, in the workplace, at school or church functions, or at your child’s extracurricular activities. As an empath, physical closeness can increase the absorption of a negative person’s feelings or energy. With that said, I have found it extremely effective to distance myself physically from such people. And by distancing I mean at least twenty feet or more. In cramped quarters, that isn’t always possible but in the least, it is helpful to avoid as much contact as possible with negative or toxic people. Give yourself permission to change where you are sitting, stand on a different side of the room, or take frequent breaks from the crowd if need be. Sure, it can come off looking anti-social or snobby, but I have let go of being worried about what other people think as my own energy, or how I feel physically, outweighs other people’s opinions. And really, if it is a negative person that one is trying to avoid, that person isn’t giving you a second (positive) thought anyway. Right?