Yesterday I was Keeping my Words in, and I Started to get a Sore Throat

Along my awakening journey I have learned that most dis-ease, body ailments, aches and pains that we experience in our bodies here in the physical world are related to our frame of mind and emotional state. (Louise Hay’s Book, “Heal Your Body” is a great resource for this topic.) I had an experience yesterday that is a perfect example of this that I would like to share with you.

As a reminder, the stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.

This post is a bit long, but I think that the back story is important to share to bring light as to why my throat started to hurt.

As it relates to this story, parents all have different parenting styles and we all handle issues with our children as we see fit. In our house when my children have an issue with another child (which doesn’t happen very often) we start by addressing the issue in only the four walls of our house and try to talk through and rectify the issues that way. (I don’t bother my children’s school with the issue and I don’t reach out to other parents immediately.)  If things are more serious or the same thing(s) keeps happening between one of my children and another child, (and it needs to be something big or my child’s reaction shows me concern) I will bring it to the attention of the other child’s parent. I’ve only had to bring up issues with other parents a few times so far in my children’s adolescent lives. Honestly I can count on one hand the number of times and I think I am up to maybe 4. In the times I have had to reach out to another parent I have presented the issues as a “heads up” to the parent to let them know that an incident took place. I don’t ask for anything in return. No even an apology to my kid. Just simply a heads up. I also ask that parent to let ME know what role my child played in the incident and to please let me know if I need to address anything with my child.

The times that I have been contacted by another parent about concerns or incidents that my children have been involved in, I thank the parent for reaching out to me and let them know that I will be addressing the issue with my child. I then sit down with my child and ask them for their side of the story.

As with anything, there are always three sides to any story…What this one thinks happens. What the other person think happens. And then what REALLY happened…. We all have our different perception or interpretation as to what is going on around us. In some cases one person might be in the wrong in their actions. In other cases both parties might be right or wrong in their actions.

If a parent contacts me about my child, I sit down with my child and get their side of the story and decide whether they were correct or not correct in their behavior. Then I circle back with the parent who contacted me and at times it has been appropriate that my child apologize to the other child. In our home we tend to “make things right” with the situation or other person and try to move on, even if we (or my children) feel that they didn’t wrong anyone. It is easier to just be a good human and to apologize and to move on.

My child (as well as our family) has tolerated the behavior of another child in our neighborhood for nearly the last six years. The list of things that this child has done that we have tolerated is a mile long and ranges from things like damaging our property, using inappropriate words and comments for his age, physically striking my children with other toys, and the best was the time that our family came home one day to find that he let himself into our house (and our dog running amok around the neighborhood). Though many of these things have continued to happen, the ones that I listed above all happened before this kid was 8 years old. (He is now 11.)

Over the years, after such incidents, I  have kept my mouth shut and I didn’t follow up with the parents of the child because my gut feeling told me if I bring anything up, that it would cause bad blood with this family. My thought was by keeping my mouth shut and tolerating this kid that I was being a cordial and considerate neighbor. (As many of you read this, I know you are thinking, WTF? Why didn’t you say anything?)

Fast forward to less than two months ago, there were multiple verbal instances between my child and this kid and on the final time other parents were witness to it. Since it was the third or fourth time that it happened and I could see that it was wearing on my child, I chose to reach out to the mother of the child via text.

The mother responded quickly and thanked me for letting her know. She did allude to the fact that her child’s behavior had to do with a text message that a third party kid sent her kid, but she said she would address it.

OK, fine. My thought was “let’s move on.” I’ve brought it to her attention. She’ll handle it her way. We are done here. (I was actually surprised at the quick response as other parents have warned me that they never get anywhere with her when they have raised issues in the past.) I felt satisfied in thinking that this was a done issue.

Then just this week, my child (who is generally on the more timid side) comes home fuming, in tears and is looking to punch walls and to kick things. He tells me that “he can’t take it anymore” and describes what this kid, the ringleader, said on the bus to my child and got others to join in as well. My child said that the ringleader and another child were poking at him the most, though others were also chiming in. My child does lack courage when standing up to others and it is something that we are still working on, but I could tell that this incident shook him. He proceeded to tell me that this has previously gone on (since the last incident that I let the mother know about) and I could tell that he had had it and that the ring-leading child’s repeated actions were affecting my child’s mental and emotional state.

I waited a few hours (I always feel that a cool down period is important) and I reached out to the children’s parents who seemed to cause my child the most distress with one being the ringleader’s mother and then to another mother who I know, to make them aware of the incident. I didn’t ask for anything in return, I just wanted them to be aware.

One mother responded back to me. She expressed concern and said that she’d be addressing it with her child. She also offered to have her child come over and to apologize. The other… the ringleader’s mother, wrote back a curt message that evening.  (Let’s add here that as an Intuitive Emapth, I can feel the tone of words that are written, not just spoken as well as have the ability to sense the feelings and energy of other people.)

The next morning while heading to the bus stop, I see the ringleaders’ mother running with her dog. She sees me, looks the other way and takes off.  Later that morning, I get a lengthy text from her. Basically she thinks what her kid said/did to my kid in the previous incident a few months ago as well as the other day isn’t that big of a deal. Her older kid and his friends have done it before and she doesn’t think it is that bad. Boys will be boys. Kids will be kids. (She based this on the fact that she has experience with older kids.) She then spun things and went on to say that I don’t care for her son (well, YOU the reader of this post saw my above list) and made him out to be the victim. She then went on to say that she knows her child and she will always support him. The last line of her message was “Have a nice day!” (In her defense we are I Mercury Retrograde.)

Oh! The things I could respond back with! I was seething. The things I have witnessed her child do… The complaints I have from at least six other families who live nearby who have shared their experiences with this family and this specific kid… The things that other parents at school have mentioned to me about her son…..

I could feel my throat starting to get scratchy as my thoughts were becoming inflamed. I thought, “Great! I’m getting sick!”

I battled with myself as to what my next move should be. Should I respond back?

I thought, why bother? It is going to fall on deaf ears, no responsibility is going to be taken, some people have to be right, they don’t have compassion and they are self-absorbed. I felt that if I go back to her with anything, she’ll just keep throwing it back this way and that her anger and negativity are just going to escalate. Furthermore, if someone has traits they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when an Empath comes along as we reflect their “shadow side” back to them. (I AM an Empath!) Empaths tend to highlight and outline the traits of another person by not playing into lies, behaviors and narcissism.

I also struggled with the fact that my energy isn’t worth sacrificing and really needs to be protected. (People should protect their own energy, but for an Empath, it is even more crucial to do so.) Her lower vibration is just going to bring mine down to her level and the more I interact with her, the more this is going to happen.

And lastly, I feel that somewhere in this mess there is a bit of a “test” for me along my journey. Perhaps a test in keeping my mouth shut regarding things that I know. (See my post about “Spirit Gossip” and getting intuitive information on people who irritate my spirit.)

By dinner time my throat was getting worse and I started to take proactive measures with essential oils and elderberry syrup in the event that I was getting sick.

After dinner was done and the kids were off doing their own thing, I went into my office and I decided to “document” some of the recent instances that my child has had with the ringleader. (A few mothers who I know suggested that I do this in case these incidents keep happening with this kid.) As I was documenting, I also got the other information I had on this child out of my system. A bit of a purge shall we say?

I realized that after I was done documenting and purging, that my throat was back to normal. (Perhaps a reflective crystals ball in my window as well as my selenite wand did a little assisting as well.) Out of curiosity, I did get out my “Heal Your Body” book by Louise Hay to see what the cause or thought pattern of a sore throat or even throat meant.

Per the book, problems with the throat have to do with “The Inability to speak up for one’s self” and “Swallowed anger.” And a sore throat is associated with “Holding in angry words.” Hmmm, sounds like that hit yesterday on the head!

Today, I woke up with no issues in my throat. I also have a feeling of contentment. I know that I did the right thing by not engaging any longer with the mother. I also know that there is more to come and that I should just stay in my lane. The Universe will be taking care of the rest. #SpiritGossip #SoulContracts

Instagram Re-post: Funerals can be Uplifting!

I don’t mean any disrespect with the above title, but I took the work “fun” out of the word “funeral” as a confirmation of the events that I had witnessed over the past few days.

I originally posted this to my Instagram account, but I feel the nudge to post it here as well:

On our way home yesterday from a #family #funeral I looked in the back seat where my husband’s suit jacket was hanging and saw the funeral procession car sticker folded in half with the word #fun staring at me. We don’t often associate a time of mourning to be “fun” but I thought to myself for a moment…there WERE uplifting, and heartwarming moments during the past two days that put a smile on my face.

Moments like these bring people together. My husband and I met relatives we didn’t know that we had. We reconnected with others who we should have never had space between. I was able to deliver some short, simple, yet healing messages to some who needed to hear certain things. Others were able to release burdens and emotional knots. I felt forgiveness between some people. Love is the highest form of energy, and at this sad time, I felt it radiating all around. As my husband and I left the funeral luncheon, there was such a feeling of peace and contentment. ♥️🌹

#signsareeverywhere #forgiveness
#love #releaseemotionalknots #sadtimesbringpeopletogether
#lifelessons and #soulcontracts

 

When Parenting and Empath Abilities Collide

Empaths absorb the energy and symptoms of others. When we absorb ailments of others, we take them on as if they are our own. When we take on ailments, we can heal the other person.

mother daughterYesterday my youngest walked in the door from school with what looked to be a dark red patch on her face. Upon further investigation it looked like a rash or a bug bite of some sort. (Never mind we are in the middle of winter here in the Midwest.) She has extremely sensitive skin so I first went through a list of questions asking what she might have put on her face to cause this – lotions, hand sanitizers or soaps at school, etc. She said that it itched and hurt. I tried to figure out when during the day this happened. According to her, it started early in the school day.

We took the necessary steps to ease her symptoms. Within moments of giving her face attention I started to itch around my face and shoulders. I even noticed some hives starting on me. This of course alerted me to ask my daughter if she was itching or bothered in other places and she said “No.”

Itching and hives on ME tend to put me I a bit of an anxious spiral as a person who has had many an unexplained allergic reaction of my own along my awakening process. I used to carry Benadryl and epi pens with me everywhere I went. (At the begging of my awakening process I was popping Benadryl like it was candy, as I was always itching and my throat regularly felt like it was ready to close up.)

When I take on symptoms from others (sometimes I know whose symptoms I have taken on and other times it can be a complete stranger like someone out in a public place or in my neighborhood or somebody’s energy that I am tapping into) my first instinct is to protect myself (so that I don’t absorb what is not mine) and then to send it back to its rightful owner and to put it back in its proper space and time.  (I know that this “wording” may sound crazy to some, but the putting back of the ailments of not mine has been a big help to me.)

When it is your child who is suffering from something you want to do all that you can to make them better. Though my first instinct was to protect myself (“Hello! Anxiety and panic!” as I get worried about allergic reactions for me) but then “Mommy Mode” kicked in and I allowed myself to keep absorbing my daughter’s ailments. (I did ask my angels and guides to help me to not have a medical emergency myself.)

Motherhood and my abilities seems to collide from time to time. I try to do my best and droll with things to the best of my abilities and to thank the Universe along the way.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

How I Pay Homage to my Passed Loved Ones During the Christmas Season

Angel Tree 2017_bAbout four years ago, I started a new holiday tradition in our family that allows us to remember loved ones who have passed, and allows my children to learn about relatives who they may have never met. Every Christmas I put up what I call our “Angel Tree.”

I am not sure WHERE I got the idea for this, but the thought just popped into my head: I wanted an angel tree! My thought behind it was that I would hang photos of passed loved ones on the tree and then as guests (grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, etc.)  arrive to our home on Christmas Day (we usually host) my children would present them with an ornament that has the guest’s written name on it. Together they would then go over to the tree and hang it anywhere on the tree that they would like. This would give our guests an opportunity to reflect on those who have passed and give them a chance to share memories with my children, if they so choose.

I loved the idea of this, but I needed to whip up a tree and its trimmings with only a few weeks to go before Christmas that year. I was determined that I wanted the tree to be gold. I discovered at that time that gold trees were hard to come by and cost a pretty penny. I decided to peruse local garage sale sites and I came across an inexpensive artificial tree with white branches that someone was selling. I decided to purchase it and I intended to spray paint it gold!

I never like driving to places where I have never been before. The tree was located over a half hour away, which seemed like an eternity getting there. I remember asking for “help” from my guides on the way there. Asking for assistance to find where I needed to go. Assistance in being safe. Assistance in liking the tree once I got all of the way there, etc.

Well, long story short, the tree was what I was looking for and in good enough shape, so I purchased it from the seller. On the way home, I had to turn against heavy traffic which I don’t like to do, so I ended up making a right turn, and then a U-turn, to get in the direction I needed to be to head home. Before making the U-turn, I saw a state mileage sign for a major highway that if you took it all of the way, would take you right to my now deceased grandparents’ house. It made me smile. Then on the way home, I kept seeing doves along the power lines on my side of the road. It felt as if they were actually watching me drive past them. I relate doves to symbols from Spirit and I felt comforted and even more relaxed as if some of my past relatives were watching me, or guiding me home from getting the tree.

So now, how did I design my Angel Tree? Well, I first took the white tree to my back yard, laid a tarp down and spray painted the heck out of it with gold spray paint. It was a challenge to find a nice day to do this, as temperatures in the Midwest during this time of year are generally too cold for painting anything outdoors. It took many coats and to this day, it could probably use a few more, but it turned into gilded gold tree.

I then purchased some small 2×3 and 3×3 sized photo frames. I added photos to the frames of loved ones who have passed – some frames with copies of photos, other with photo copies and in cases when I didn’t have a photo, I just printed the person’s name in fancy font on nicer paper and slipped them into the frames. I then attached ribbon to frames so that they could be hung.

The first year that we put the tree out, I used some gold and ivory ornaments and pearl garland strands that I already had laying around. As the years have gone by, I’ve added more ribbons and crystals to really make the tree a statement tree. I have also collected and even made some ornaments that either have an angelic theme to them, or have a symbolic meaning to me like doves, dragonflies and angel wings. We use the same ornaments year-to-year that have our guests’ names on them. We keep them in a gold basket under the tree until they arrive. Every year when I put the tree up, I feel my “angels” with me. I usually have some odd occurrence happen as well, like a light bulb flickering or going out in the room from across the tree. A reminder that they always  with me.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Being a Sports Mom and an Intuitive

I have anticipated this question as more and more people learn about my abilities: “Do you know if your kid’s team is going to win today?”

My children are involved in various activities, some of which are competitive and team sports. With that said, somebody is going to be the winner and somebody is going to come up short. I will say that I have tested my abilities at times, and for instance, tried to use my intuition to get an answer as if we will win or lose that day. I have learned that if I am able to get my own feelings and wishes out of the way and just try for a straight answer, I usually get it right and can say if we are going to win or lose that game or match.

Predicting the outcome of a game that my kids are playing can mess with me as there have been times that I am sitting on the sidelines watching my child’s team be down, when I previously got the answer that we will be winning that day. When this happens, I start to question my abilities and even get upset with myself for maybe not knowing how to use my abilities properly, and then low and behold, we’ll come from behind at the end and win.

The opposite has also happened where I think that we will lose a specific game and for a good portion of the time our team will be up. Sometimes way up. In those instances I also start to question my abilities but then think who cares if I am wrong, we are winning! (And then, just like that, even if we are ahead, we walk away defeated.)

It can start to feel like a roller coaster…

The knowing of what I think the outcome will be and then what is playing out in front of me…

sidelineOn occasion there have been times when I have tried to figure out what the outcome will be and there are times that I get what I call a back-and-forth answer, meaning that I can’t tell clearly, one way or another, if we are going to win or lose. When this happens, I ask multiple times and get one answer and then another – nothing consistent. I chalk that up to: I’m not supposed to know everything before it happens, or what the final outcome to be.

I have also learned, that though I have the ability to see what the outcome will be, many times I chose to NOT use it. There is something to be said to be a spectator in the stands or to be a mother rooting for her child on the sidelines and just being in the moment without knowing how it is going to end until it is actually over. By knowing the outcome, the fun can be taking out of watching the game.

I do also feel like knowing the outcome of my children’s sporting events makes me look a suspicious or feel guilty next to other parents.  In the past, if I knew that our team was going to win, there were times that I was almost too relaxed as a Sports Mom on the side lines. Others around me would be getting worked up and caught up in the emotion and I would be sitting right next to them cool as a cucumber because I knew that all would end fine. I started to feel like other parents were look at me strangely for maybe not rooting so intensely for our team. And at times when I knew that we were going to lose, I felt like others around me would be cheering their hearts out hoping for a positive outcome when I was ready to pack up my things and head back to the car knowing that we’d be done soon.

By no means when I do have a hunch as to what the outcome of my kid’s games will be, do I share it with others around me. I have no intention of wanting to spoil the experience for other parents or spectators. I do also want to bring up the fact that Intuitives are not given insight when it comes to gambling or gaining financially from sporting events. (If that were the case, business would be booming, wouldn’t it? LOL!) Our gifts are to be used to help others heal.

I will say that I do have a 100% hit ratio in calling rain outs for when my kids sports are played out doors. (That comes in handy in knowing what to pack and take to games if we are going to be stuck out in the elements.) 😉

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

When you are Reflecting Back What People Don’t Like about Themselves, Seeing Two Deceased Fathers in a Room, and at the End of the Day You Know that the Pot-Stirrer is really stirring the Pot Because She Needs Attention: It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding!

Vibrating higher - NaysayersI recently attended my first family wedding since I became aware that I was going through a Spiritual Awakening Process – the process in which my metaphysical gifts have grown stronger. The only other large event that has taken place since my gifts have gotten stronger was a Memorial Service for a relative. You can read about it here:  https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As amazed as I was by people’s behavior towards me that evening, I was more stunned by the idea that I already knew that people would be treating me the way they did. I think on some level I thought that I could get through to certain individuals and break down walls and start the family healing that I believe is falling on my shoulders. I talk about that toward the end of a previous blog post. You can read that here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/17/we-are-just-here-to-celebrate-a-wedding-and-that-is-it/

I will happily add that I started to lose some weight a week or so before the wedding and to this day, it is still falling off with really no effort or intention on my part. It is as though my “layer of protection” that I have packed on (you can read about here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/ive-heard-of-the-freshman-fifteen-but-nobody-mentioned-the-awakening-15-to-me/ ) started to melt away as I got confident in myself, the angel messages that I had received and what I had to deal with at this wedding. The weight has continued to come off after as I replay in my head what I observed in people that evening. I have also been more honest with telling some people around me about my gifts, which I believe has assisted in dropping the weight as well.

So, about the wedding… (Which was really beige and not white, by the way.)

While getting ready for the wedding, I had some down time and I used that time to center myself, go over what I needed to do (radiate my light and spread love to those around me. This is the message that I got from my Guides a few weeks back.) I talked to my “spiritual team” (Guides and Angels) and even performed some Reiki on myself. I

Pyrite rose gold
My handbag, Rose Quartz and Pyrite.

knew that my grandmother, (my father’s mother) would be walking along side of me that evening. I’ve known it for months.  I was as ready as I was going to be. I was calm and relaxed and ready for whatever was going to come my way. I threw some crystals in my purse. I took rose quarts and pyrite. (Rose quartz is the stone of the heart, a crystal of unconditional love that carries a soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort. Pyrite is a protector of negative energy as well as a stone that give a confidence boost.) I performed my usual energy protection rituals and then we were off. There was a shuttle bus that could have taken us to the wedding venue, but we chose to drive by ourselves.

My husband and I arrived at the chapel prior to my parents and sister. We grabbed a seat and saved room for others to join us as the seats were filling up fast. We had a row further back. I was in the corner but felt it was a comfortable space where I could observe from. We got a wave from some members of my Uncle’s side of the family toward the front row, but no body offered for us to move up, which was fine, we don’t feel we are the first tier of people to be up in front anyway.

While waiting, I saw my cousin Ann*, my second cousin Lynn* and her mother, Auntie J.* walk in.

Beautiful-form-of-communication.-640x640My husband was standing in the aisle while I was sitting in the pew. Lynn walked by and gave my husband a quick hug and tried to scoot by with just a  wave and a hello to me, but I got up and greeted her with a hug. Then I see her mother, Auntie J.  I went up to her and she let me hug her, but then I go to kiss her on the cheek and she turned away. I noticed what has happened but carry on without missing a beat. As that was taking place, my cousin Ann said a side-ways “hello” more to my husband, than to me, and tried to walk behind everyone and avoid me. I moved closer to her and hugged her and said, “It’s great to see you.” She murmured the same back and walked to the front of the church where my uncle’s side of the family was seated. I can honestly say that I treated each lady with love and respect from the get-go that evening.

Next my parents arrived. They squeezed in and my mother asked where my sister is. She walks in (she arrived with the first three gals, but stopped off at the ladies room) and my mother called for her to sit by us. I gave her a hug as she sat down near my mother and me. I could tell that she was irritated that she had to sit by me and my parents, as she would have preferred to sit up front with the cousins, but let’s be honest, your parents come first. At one point my cousin Ann motions to my sister that there is room where they are sitting up front, but then my mom chimed in and asked if there was room for all of us, and that ended that. You could see my sister’s disgust in her body language as she realized that she was “stuck” with us for the ceremony.

As the ceremony is ready to get started, I saw my Uncle, the father of the groom, and we make eye contact. I give both him and the groom’s brother a hello as they pass by and see me.  They weren’t sure what to make of my “hello” but wave back.

Before and during the ceremony, no matter what I would say to my sister to attempt to make conversation, she would say the opposite. I would say left, she’d say right, I’d mention up, she’d say down.  No matter what I tried to do to get anywhere with her, I couldn’t so I took a break from trying until later in the evening.

The ceremony was very nontraditional and had more of a “comedy” theme to it. Others seemed to relate to the inside jokes that were said and the tone of the ceremony. Though it was a nice ceremony I didn’t connect with it, but I reminded myself that I didn’t relate to many of the people who were in the chapel and vice versa, they didn’t understand me in the least bit, but all of that was OK. We were there to celebrate the marriage of a bride and groom who were starting their life out together. It didn’t matter what the rest of us thought. It was their day. The day was how THEY want it to be. Outside opinions didn’t matter.

Once the ceremony concluded, we stepped outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out of the chapel. My parents, husband and I greeted my Aunt and Uncle (the mother and father of the groom). All four of us exchanged hugs and handshakes are exchanged and we are told “Thank you for coming.” My initial thought was, “Great! Everyone is acting cordial.”

While waiting for the couple to come out, I saw my Uncle’s sister-in-law. We’ll call her “Pat*”. Pat had a really cute dress and flats on and I complimented her on her dress and shoes. She commented back, referring to the wedges that I was wearing, about how she followed the rules on the wedding invite and wore flats as suggested, to the outdoor venue. Her comment seemed a bit icy, but I believed the comment had more to do with her, wishing she didn’t wear the flats, than with me.

On the way to the tented reception, I stopped off to the ladies room. There I made small talk with strangers who were in there. I am one who normally will make small talk with strangers and offer a smile or lift them up with a compliment. As I looked in the mirror, I could see (and feel) that I was still vibrating high.

On my way out of the ladies room, my sister and cousin Ann walk past my husband not acknowledging him until they saw me and then they said something. I let it go and made some light-hearted comment back and we headed toward the reception tent.

Once in the tent, we got our table assignments. My husband (the only male who would be at our table) and I were going to be seated with my sister, Ann, Lynn and Auntie J. My parents were seated at a different table. I could see the disappointment on my husband and father’s faces that they weren’t going to get to sit together. I could also sense my mother’s dismay as well.  I decided that we weren’t going to sit down quite yet and visit around the room first, but I also made sure that we acknowledge those who were at our table prior to sitting down. My husband and I took the long way toward our table and stopped at the bar first. I filled him in on what I had seen/sensed from other’s actions towards me at the church. To a certain degree he doesn’t see or understand fully what I see and feel as he is not an Intuitive Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person like I am.

We stopped by the bar and I asked for a cranberry and tonic. I made a point to not drink alcohol about 5 days before the wedding, as well as to not drink at the wedding for two reasons: Alcohol can block the flow of spiritual gifts. (Five days might not sound like much to some, but I feel like almost every day an excuse pops up to have a drink – a glass of wine on the patio, a drink out with the girls, a cocktail after the kids are in bed, etc.) Also, coming from a family tree of heavy drinkers, I decided that I didn’t need anyone accusing me of acting a “certain way” because maybe I had too much to drink.

On the way to the bar I saw a man’s face that seemed to transform into Lynn’s father’s face, who had passed. The face gave me a deep, knowing look into my eyes. I let it pass. Sort of questioning it.

While at the bar, Pat’s husband came up and talked to me and my husband. All was fine. We just made small talk. Also while in line I see my aunt and uncle’s sister in law, Jilly*. Jilly (as well as Pat) have a history or coming up to me at family events, especially Jilly, if they are the current target of negativity, or on the outs with, well shall we say, may Aunt Marie,* the mother of the groom. In the past, when they have been short on people to “chat” with at family functions, they will chat it up with me to kill time. That wasn’t happening at this function. But when you have been the target before, you don’t want to piss off the Ring Leader, so you abide by the “rules” and follow suit. This cycle of icing somebody out has happened for generations. It happened with my Great Grandmother, my grandmother and great aunt, and with my aunt and cousins now. Jilly and I never had a problem making conversation before but while in line at the bar, I said hello, gave her a hug and complimented her on the jacket she had on. In an adverse tone, and no eye contact, she replied, “Thanks, my daughters picked it out.” And turned her back and walked away. That was that. She was done.

I made a stop at our table before I made my way over to check out the dessert table and found some cute, older gals standing by a heater to try to keep warm. (It was not quite 50 degrees out and raining.) We chatted it up a bit. I enjoyed their smiles and warm energy, no pun intended.

After viewing the dessert table, I stopped by my mother who is trying to get organized at her assigned table. Her and my father’s seats keep getting pushed down further to the end of the table as Pat was organizing who should sit where. I tried to make small talk with Pat and my mother, but Pat didn’t make eye contact with me and tried to zip a zinger comment my way to make me “feel dumb” which I was aware of. At that point, I just moved on.

Since we are lacking family photos as a whole and we were all dressed up, my mother found a nice back drop and takes some photos in front of. We called my sister over so that she could join us.  While this was taking place, I could feel the negative energy and comments from those hanging out at the table we are to be seated at in a bit.

FB_IMG_1520543985906After my mom was done with taking photos, my sister and dad start talking by the DJ’s table. I went up and tried to join in the conversation. My husband eventually joined as well. No matter what conversation starter I asked my sister, the harsh, snippy responses were thrown back in my direction. I almost asked her what was wrong, why the tone, is there something that I did? The look on the face and body language couldn’t be ignored either, but then I remembered, we were just there for a wedding. If I asked too much, I might have gotten a negative reaction and we didn’t need to make a spectacle. I just let it be. At the end of the day, I knew that her issues are her own and they have to do with the way that my parents raised us differently, under the same roof. I was raised in such a way that I became more independent and she was the one who was (and still is) always coddled and never confronted for her actions. I have also learned that she uses her body language as a way to get attention as the victim. Victims play the victim for the sake of attention.

It was finally time to sit down for dinner. As we sat down, I caught a glimpse of what looked like and reminded me of Ann’s father who had passed. I saw him look over at me and I sensed that deep knowing look.  I knew he was there. Once we sat, I sensed the awkwardness kicking in, heads were down and everyone focused on their plates. It was more than a resting bitch face for some. In some cases, it was also the shoulders slumped forward.  I decide to just take the lead and nip the awkward silence in the bud. I paid particular attention to MY own body language making sure that I was “open” to others and not closed off. I started with Ann. I ask, “Ann, how are the kids doing?” and in response to my question, I got an abrupt and angered “Fine, how are yours?” back. I saw Lynn’s eyes pop out of her head so I knew that I wasn’t playing up the dramatics of the tone that was used. Ann dialed it back a bit and asked me, “How are yours?” I kept my gentle tone consistent and explained some of my kids’ recent activities and then moved on to Lynn and asked about her son and she showed some photos from his Senior Prom.

I sat at the table with my arms open under the table and my palms facing upward. I recall during the speeches literally sending love and a bright white light to those at my table. I saw the gentleman who looked like Lynn’s father pass by again. I got the long gaze as he came by. I struggled with what to do with that, but clearly at this point in time, and after watching people’s behavior, my thoughts were that nobody was ready to accept the gifts that I have or the messages that could be delivered because they’d be coming from me. I do think that Lynn’s father popped up twice to me because her mother was also at the table. Though they were divorced when he passed, I know that there is still love and hurt there. Better yet, I think that Lynn’s son’s soul is that of her brother that passed away at birth. Again, nobody is ready to hear this.

b3780144a617e2bc4566222df14fbf26I tried to chat with my sister a few more times while we were still sitting at dinner. I asked her questions about her work, her dog, and so forth. Still, not getting very far. While at the table I couldn’t help but to notice the “looks” back and forth between Lynn and Ann throughout the evening. At times I see my sister looking at Ann and Lynn’s non-verbal communication, but I could tell that she’s not in on it. She was more the third wheel that was used when they needed a bigger team. I particularly picked up on the looks and vibes whenever my dad walked up. (My poor father kept trying to come over and talk to my husband because he had little conversation at his table and equally felt bad for my husband.)

Eventually, the bride and groom danced their first dance together. They danced to what was my deceased Aunt and Uncle’s song – Ann’s parents. When the song is over, I literally saw my aunt and uncle joined together and waving at me as the song concluded. I smiled and thanked them.

At some point my sister, Lynn and Ann go off and dance. I felt bad for Auntie J. being left alone so my husband and I stayed seated at the table. At one point, when the ladies returned to the table, I was taken aback at what I saw. I saw a gray color around them. Not so much their aura, but more like their skin, hair and bodies, it was like I saw their “toxicity.” (To me, an aura is more the outline energy field of the body and not the body itself.)

My husband and I danced to a slow song. My father grabbed Ann for the dance. I know why my father did it. Ann is a connection to my deceased Aunt for him. She was uncomfortable with it, but that had more to do with her actions than his.

After dancing, I saw my Aunt Maria sitting by herself watching the dance floor. I thought that it would be a good time to go over and try to say something to her. After all, things seemed fine when we walked out of the chapel. I bent down and told her, “Today was really nice, don’t you think?” She turned halfway, gave me a glare and replied, “Yeah, thanks.” And turned her back toward me. I bent down again, thinking I would try again, but decided to just leave it.

32452343_365986140589779_1026768973569458176_nI know that she is the pot-stirrer of this whole current family mess.  In all fairness, she grew up around similar actions. (When you know better, you do better.) I  know that she harbors a lot of anger and resentment which if not released, will turn into disease. I believe it will be bone cancer if she doesn’t break the cycle. I also known that when people stir the pot, they are doing so to put attention on them. For whatever reason THEY need attention so they try to get it by creating drama.

At that moment, I remember thinking to myself that I was thankful (for the first time in my life) for a girl who I went to school with – The Prom Queen. She was also a pot-stirrer and she was great at getting the room to turn on a person. I didn’t realize until now that the aggravation that she caused me years ago actually prepared me for moments like these.

At this point in the evening, I felt that I had only gotten as far as I was going to get with people in the room and that it was time to go. My mom gave me a strange look when I told her that my husband and I were saying our good byes and heading out. (My dad on the other hand was wishing that he could leave with us.)

I realize that my parents are trying to keep their noses clean in this family drama situation. My Aunt Maria is my father’s only living original family member left left so they don’t want to ruin that. Never mind that my father was taught his whole life to keep his head down and to avoid conflict. With that said, if people were treating my sister that evening the way that they were treating me, he would have been all over it making phone calls and having conversations behind the scenes to try to fix things on her behalf. I need to chalk it up to: My parents think that I am independent and can handle this.

Before leaving, we look for my Uncle to say “goodbye” to. I never got confirmation (yet) on the watch that my uncle was wearing at the wedding, but I have a feeling that someday in the future I will. (Refer back to my previous blog.) He was very pleasant and appreciative. A very different energy than my Aunt’s Marie’s. He put his hand on my back when we left and I felt his energy towards me – the energy of touch means more than words.

I am glad that we drove separately and didn’t take the shuttle back to the hotel. It turns out that Lynn was running her mouth on the bus ripping the ceremony and wedding apart with the bride two seats away from her. Definitely not the final words a Bride wants to end her special day on.

The next day, word gets to me that some thought that I was acting “fake” at the wedding and Ann had felt the need to reference me as “someone who flaunts their sainthood in order to find their horns.” At the end of the day I know that people’s issues are their own and their behaviors have to do with how they are really feeling about themselves. Empaths are mirrors to others. We reflect back to others what they don’t like about themselvesempaths reflect back and what they need to change or to work on. Let’s also remember that empaths don’t do fake.

If I was acting out of my normal range, my husband would have been the first to call me out on it, right then and there on it. I know in my heart that I was acting authentically.

I also realize that I vibrate higher than those I was around at the wedding. As a rule, when you vibrate higher, toxic people fall away from you. They also don’t know how to approach you. (I have learned this along my awakening journey.)

When it was time to head back home, I closed the hotel room door behind me. Before doing so, I paused for a moment. It felt symbolic. Like I was turning a page or even closing a book cover. Perhaps some family healing was put into motion the day of the wedding. Only time will tell.

*Names and some timeline order of events have been changed to protect people’s privacy.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

We are Just Here to Celebrate a Wedding – and That is It.

outdoor weddingWhen those with gifts are close to a situation or the situation is about us, we can’t always bet a read on it. I myself can feel a block where I don’t receive information and other times I feel my brain getting in the way and filling in the blanks or re-writing what I get.

Today I had a visit with my “massage therapist” (that is how I refer to her when it comes to my husband) who really is a reiki master as well as a kind, gentle woman who has many other spiritual gifts. I should just really drop the word “massage” and refer to her as my “therapist” because every time I leave from a visit, I am 100x better emotionally, physically and spiritually than when I showed up.

Before each appointment starts, Mrs. A. (as we’ll call her) will ask me, “What are we working on today.” Sometimes I will point out an area where I have been experiencing chronic pain, other times I will discuss with her my latest health issues or health mysteries and then there are times like today, where physically I am feeling fine for the most part but I have something going on behind the scenes that I need to get off my chest or I am seeking answers for. Walking in today I feel rather fine. I have been feeling like I have been floating on air as I was recently Reiki Level 1 attuned. Today, the only thing I see in front of me is an upcoming family wedding. To most, it sounds like a fun time, but in this case, I have an interesting cast of characters who I will be coming in contact with. Many of whom left me with a very negative feeling the last time I saw them.

I describe what happened in this blog past: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As the time has drawn nearer for this event, I have found it hard to lose the ten pounds that I was hoping to lose (emotional protection), I have found it more difficult than usual to find something to wear, which isn’t like me. (I chalk it up to I don’t know what I am walking in to.) And lastly, my husband would prefer to not even go but since this is my side of the family, I make the final call. And though my new motto is, “I am down to weddings and funerals” for those who either cause me pain, drama or don’t serve my highest good, I know that if I don’t show up to this event, that would be the nail in the coffin that could finish my relationship with this side of the family, and I don’t know what the repercussions could be in the future that I may regret.

I share my concerns with Mrs. A. on how I don’t know how to handle going to the wedding. I don’t know what I will be walking in to or how people will react to me.  I also give her tid-bits and quick back stories as they relate to my Aunt and a cousin, to name a few. I have caught visions of this event but I question if I am “making things up or not.” (I still have an issue on trusting what I get, especially when I am related to the situation.) I am confident that I will have guides and loved ones from the other side walking with me that evening so that has given me hope.

Mrs. A. has spiritual gifts as well and can get a reading on things. She paused for a moment and tells me that their problem is not me. It is their issue(s). I relaxed a bit when I heard that. She pointed out that I don’t connect with them and they equally don’t understand me, but that is OK. She also reminded me that we are all different and that is a good thing. How boring if we were all the same.

During my secession, Mrs. A. had me close my eyes and try to relax. We chat about what stones I should wear or carry at the wedding. She suggests Pyrite and rose quarts. The rose quarts is to remind me to show love while I am there. (Pyrite has protective vibes, helps with self-confidence and can provide a more powerful vibration.)  When I finally get my head clear and in a relaxed state (which I is never quick for me) I found myself in a sandy area with the sun behind me Sort of like approaching twilight, but not quite. She prompted me and asked what I was wearing. I was barefoot and dressed in what looked to be a long flowy dress sort of like what a belly dancer would wear but I wasn’t showing my stomach and there weren’t any gold decorative coins sewn on it. It was more conservative. I even had something draped on my head. I was sitting in the sand.

snakeShe asked what I saw in front of me. I saw a basket, sort of like the type you see a snake start dancing out of. Low and behold there was a snake. It was moving back and forth, not in a scary way, but in a rhythmic way. I pointed out to Mrs. A that I didn’t feel threatened by the snake or feel that I was in danger. She said “good! I am glad that you don’t see this as a negative thing because it is not!”

She asked me to look closer at the snake and describe it. I told her that I could see the scales up close and then I looked into the eyes. The eyes weren’t scary though. I told her they remind me of looking into my dog’s eyes. There was a gentle feel to them.

Mrs. A. chimed in and said, “So they look like unconditional love?”

I responded with a “yes!” And then add, “Like my relatives love me unconditionally.”

The vision ended with me scooping up the basket (snake and all) and carrying it under my arm. I walked down the sand, which felt like it had water running alongside of it so I feel like I am walking away down a beach toward what is now a sunset.

Mrs. A. asks me what I look like as I am walking away. I tell her that I feel that I am confident and wise as I walk away. (I snickered at the “wise” part as it felt conceded to say.) She asked if I was looking behind me when I was walking. I firmly felt that no, I am not looking behind me, just forward. Right then and there it hits me. The past is the past. I am not looking back there anymore.

Once I process that a bit, Mrs. A. has me picture myself at the wedding and asks me what I see.

I saw a large round table with a spot light beaming down to illuminate the table top. There were 8 or 10 chairs around it. I was the only one sitting at the table, with my back to the corner of the room. The rest of the chairs were empty. It was as if I was in the corner observing the room and the dance floor in front of me. The room itself was dark except where the spot light was illuminating my table.

Mrs. A. then tells me to switch seats so that I am sitting with my back to the dance floor. She asks me who is coming up to me while I am sitting. I sense that it is my uncle (the husband to the aunt who is the source of issues and drama). I have never had an issue with this uncle but due to whatever fall-out took place that changed my aunt to be negative towards me, I haven’t really had much of a relationship with him in the last year or so. In my vision, my uncle starts out by clearing his throat. I mention that to Mrs. A and she says that clearing of the throat is like trying to clear a throat chakra. (Wow! How interesting!! I never put two and two together.) She asks me to describe what we are talking about. I tell her that he is asking me what has happened. (Meaning with my Aunt.) Why are things the way they are? I tell him, he nods, and then we part ways with everything being fine and calm between us.

Mrs. A. asks who comes in next. I tell her I see my sister. She walks up and pulls up a chair next to me and sits down. Mrs. A. adds that my sister looks excited and is talking a lot, like she’s had a few drinks. I told her that I agree, that is what I am seeing. She asks me who comes up to us while we are talking. I say I think that it is my Dad. He comes up to us, says a smart-ass comment and leaves. My sister rolls her eyes. Mrs. A. keeps encouraging me and says, “Yes, you are right!” She then asks me,  “What is your sister so excited about? What is she telling you?”

Well, at this point, my brain starts to interfere and want to fill in the blanks. I presume she wants to bitch about my parents. (Mrs. A. says, “No!”) I tried really hard but didn’t get anything more out of her. Mrs. A. said that I will just have to wait until the wedding to find out.

wedding_vendor_dance_floor_luxury_interview_occasionlabcom_7Next she asks me if I see a white light. I say, “Yes.” She asks me where the light is and I tell her it is on the dance floor. She tells me to go there. As I am walking to the dance floor she points out what I am wearing. She points out that my dress is flowing and I am gliding or floating with ease and confidence. I start to slow-dance with my husband on the dance floor. She asks me if people are there and I say that I see them but they look to be in the shadows. I don’t see their faces, maybe just their eyes.

As I dance more, Mrs. A asks if I start to see the people. I say that I do and that they look to be emerging into the light now. I see their faces and they are looking at me smiling. She points out that all is fine and positive with the people around me.

This vision stops and things move on to what looks to be the next day. The day after the wedding. Mrs. A. asks me where I am at. I tell her that I am at the party the morning after. I am the only one there, there are the tables where people sat, chairs scattered about and things left on tables. She asks me how I feel about where I am at. I tell her that I feel good. That it wasn’t that bad. She asked, “sort of like you are reflecting and realized that it wasn’t that bad and that you had fun?” I responded with a “yes!” Mrs. A. then gives me some advice and more of the message: She reminds me that I glow with love and that I can’t get mad. (Basically because I am radiating love and light.) The wedding is not a place for a family fight. And that we are here (at the wedding) to celebrate the bride and groom. She also reminds me that I need to have my wall down so that I can radiate.

Before the secession concluded I did ask Mrs. A to validate a few things that I got in regard to the day of the Wedding just to be sure I wasn’t crazy or making things up. She validated for me that yes, it will be cold the day of the wedding. (The wedding and reception are taking place outdoors.) I asked her if there was a connection between my uncle, a watch and the wedding day. (I’ve picked up on this for over a year now but started to think that I was making it up.) She confirmed that I will get validation at the wedding about this but suggested that I don’t say anything directly as I may freak my Uncle out. It will be too much for him to take in that day. I also ask her if things resolve with my cousin. She confirmed that she will reach out to me in time. I respond back, “Why, because she is looking for a reading from me? And Mrs. A. confirmed yes. I tell her that I am not sure that I want to read for family. (Personally I think that I am going to find it hard to give neutral readings and leave my personal opinion out of things. As of now, I also find it hard to give healing messages to those who have wronged me or talked about me behind my back on numerous occasions. You’ve also heard the expression “don’t shoot the messenger” haven’t you? Well, I don’t need people not liking what information they are getting through a reading though I know that Spirit delivers what needs to be heard. I am just the face of it. The conduit.)

Lastly, I ask her if my aunt and I will make up. In the months previous, I keep getting visions of my aunt coming up to me with tears in her eyes. I see her dressed in like a lavender mother-of-the-groom dress though I don’t believe that she’ll actually be wearing lavender at the wedding. I also don’t see her bringing anything up at the wedding.

Mrs. A. responds with, “Let’s see what you get” and I started another vision. I saw myself in my office with cards laid out. She asked me to do a spread and tell her what I get. (At first I was like, “how is this going to work?” but I just went with it.)

I laid out three cards and I got different symbols. The first one was “Justice” which told me that justice is in my favor with the situation with my Aunt. The next had to do with balance. Then another had to do with blocking. I was the one blocking the healing. For kicks I “pulled” another card in my vision. (I usually pull an extra just to see if there is more to a message.) On the final card was an image of a newly found Guide that I was introduced to a few weeks ago. Her name is Rose. Rose appeared on the card and winked at me. I got the message to observe.

I tell her that I see myself at my Aunt’s house. In her kitchen specifically. Like my Aunt invited me over. We are getting along in my vision. Like we put things behind us. I still feel that I will have her at arm’s length but things will improve from where they are here and now.

My sessions with Mrs. A. never seem to disappoint.

61deba6a24b9c7d066b4753a1e62c05cAs I am walking out, Mrs. A mentions one last thing to me. She mentions that maybe it is up to me to heal the family and to break the negative cycle. (They cycle that someone is always on the outs. The black sheep. The one who is critiqued and picked apart.)

After an appointment with Mrs. A. I always get signs or symbols along the way home that tie back to my secession. On the way home, the song “Amber is the color of your Energy” by 311 came on. The song hasn’t been popular in years and it isn’t one you hear often on the radio.

The lyrics have to do with a woman who is beautiful and sweet that she radiates like the sun… the singer feels her energy and her love.

The “gemstone” Amber, (which is really fossilized resin) possesses very old energy. With this old energy comes the acquired wisdom of the earth! Additionally, it is described as a warm, cheerful, wise, protective, and healing stone. It will discharge all negative moods, and it will deflect negative energies that other people may direct at you.

Either way or meaning(s) translate back to the session that I just had.

Wish me luck.

The big day is in May and we’ll see how things unfold!

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Ever Since I was a Child, I have been Scolded for Finishing Other People’s Sentences.

I have had, what I have been told, is a “bad habit” of interrupting and finishing other people’s sentences. I have done this as long as I can remember, since childhood, and it has followed me into adulthood. As a child I was always told to “quit interrupting” and as an adult, I get “shushed” (usually by family members and relatives) and told to “quit talking, let me (the other person) finish!”

I don’t consider myself to be a rude person by nature and it didn’t hit me until recently as to why I have this “habit.” I am Claircognizant!

Finishing Sentences Dog - ClaircognizantClaircognizance is the intuitive ability of clear knowing something that may have happened in the past, present, or future about another, but you may be unable to back up your statement with facts or how you came into that information.  Intuitive thoughts tend to “pop up” at random times or when least expected. I can attest that this happens to me when I am driving, showering or doing something un-related to the thought that comes in my head.

One of the biggest traits of Claircognizance is interrupting people. People with this gift often complete other people’s sentences. We know what another person in a conversation is going to say, so we respond before the person can even get a full sentence out. I am so guilty of this and apologize for this all of the time. Along with this, I get instant ideas that pop in my head and I excitedly feel that I need to share them so again, the interrupting of conversation happens.

People that have natural Claircognitive abilities tend to be logical, organized and think things out. I would say that I am a “thinker.” I analyze, not numbers necessarily, but situations and scenarios. I have an over-active mind.

I also tend to be the “answer person” for people around me. People come to me with personal issues, work issues, even logistical issues and I seem to be the problem solver. People with Claircognitive abilities tend to solve issues and come up with answers to problems with no knowledge of what the question will be.

People like us tend to use the words “I know…” in conversation when relating to others. In my younger years, I would have people question me, “How DO YOU know?” as if I didn’t have the knowledge or wisdom to respond in such a way.

Claircognizance also leads to an over-active mind with ideas swirling around and popping in. The mind isn’t quiet.

And lastly, if you are Claircognizant, you never want to stop learning. You are a person who enjoys reading to learn, and is always interested in expanding your knowledge.

If a person is interested in exercising their Claircognitive ability, pendulum dowsing can be used to exercise your ability. Automatic writing is also another great way to access clear knowing. I sometimes use dowsing to get a “second opinion” on the answer(s) that I am receiving. Automatic writing in its traditional sense isn’t a strength for me at this time, but I do notice that things come to me automatically when I am blogging or writing stories.

So in closing, if you are Claircognizant and have the habit of interrupting people and conversations, I say, “Keep interrupting!” It is your gift talking!

 

When You Sense People in the Room Turning on You and it Starts to Feel Trippy

I had an uncle who passed away back in November and just recently we had a memorial service for him.

I had a Goodbye Dream with my Uncle in it recently. You can read about it here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/20/the-goodbye-dream/0

While at this Memorial Service, (that was held in the banquet room at a golf course where he used to play golf in his younger years) I literally felt the energy of many of my relatives and people that I know shift negatively toward me as the day went on, and it started to feel real trippy.

In recent years, I have learned that I am an empath. An empath is highly sensitive to the emotional climate around them. Throw in the fact that there is family drama and I am also a gal who is trying to navigate her every expanding gifts and it turns into one heck of a cluster!

Let me fill in the back story for you.

In December, my husband, kids and I celebrated Christmas Eve at my Aunt’s house, (the sister-in-law to my Uncle who recently passed). At her house, things were fine for the most part, though this Aunt is known to be a pot-stirrer. And by fine, I mean that I dismissed side comments that I know where made about me when I’d leave a room and I ignored a look or glance that was given over my shoulder at times, but all-in-all, I let things roll off and I survived.

My deceased Uncle’s daughter Ann, (my cousin), shares the same Aunt referenced above. Her mother and my Aunt were sisters. This cousin now lives out-of-state and my relationship with this cousin took a one-eighty a few years ago. And truly, to this day, I have no idea what I did to piss her off. To attempt to salvage this relationship I even wrote her a letter once asking where our relationship went wrong and apologized for whatever it was that I did to upset her and asked her how I could fix it. (This was her que to either tell me that all is fine or to F-off, but I never heard a word from her. I still have a copy of the letter.) This cousin is close to my above mentioned Aunt and has a relationship with my Sister. (My sister who has a stronger relationship with my Cousin’s kids than what she does with mine.)

Now here in February, this Memorial Service rolls around. I feel somewhat relaxed knowing that I made it through Christmas Eve unscathed. I know walking in that there is friction with my cousin but knowing that this is a Memorial Service for her father, I know that I am going to be supportive and respectful so really, what could go wrong?!?!?!

As my husband, kids and I walked in, we said our hellos to my cousin and her family who were receiving people at the door. Then I made my way around the room and said my hellos to relatives including cousins, second cousins, friends of my cousin and family friends and neighbors of my Uncle. These people smiled, hugged me and said hi to me.  Small talk here, small talk there… Until, oops!! I walk up to my Aunt (from Christmas Eve) and try to say hello and hug her. She turns sideways as I hug her and she starts to talk to someone else so I FIRST assumed that maybe I accidentally interrupted a conversation and just carried on.

Also before the service got started, I also connected with my Uncle’s neighbor. She is a boisterous Irish lady. She was really good friends with my Aunt (who has passed) and when I talk with her, I feel my Aunt’s presence. I felt the need to share bits and pieces of my “goodbye dream” with her. I asked her if she wanted to know what my Uncle looked like now that he passed. I told her that I had a dream recently. She said “sure” and I shared a few details with her.  All felt fine.

Before the Service starts, I see my Aunt (from Christmas Eve) making her rounds to all of our relatives. I didn’t think anything of it.  Though soon after I notice to the left of me, in the corner of the room, where a majority of the people I know are… The room seemed to grow colder, almost grayer…

The service starts and we all take our seats. People got up and went to the podium and told stories and memories about my Uncle. A few times I was tempted to get up and share my “goodbye dream” with the crowd. The coldness (emotionally, not temperature) from the corner of the room wasn’t helping.  I even had head tingles which is validation for me, but at the end, I chickened out because I didn’t think that the idea of a “goodbye dream” would go over well with the entire crowd. (I later told my mother about the dream when we went to go out to eat after the service.)

As the stories started to wrap up, all of the guests in the room started to mingle. I made my way back to my Aunt who I saw at the beginning of the Service and she again starts walking off as I am trying to make small talk. I then start to approach some distant cousins, and a few of my Aunt’s sister-in-laws and suddenly I am getting half-cracked smiles, little eye contact and one answer responses to my questions. WTF??? Somebody pinch me! I am dreaming? It is though I am feeling their rumblings toward me, but yet nobody is saying anything. Very surreal. Very trippy!

I attempt once again to make my way over to my Aunt who is now sitting down at a table. Her son is getting married next year and I try to use the wedding as a conversation starter. As I start chatting (and notice the wide eyes of one of her sister-in-laws who is next to her) my Aunt gets up as she’s mid-sentence responding to me and walks away from me. I had to move aside to get out of the way for her.

At this point, it hits me. I’m not making up what I saw and felt when I first saw her. It also hits me that this is “the family tradition” (insert sarcasm) on this side of the family. The tradition that goes back to my great grandmother, my grandmother and her sister – my great aunt, and then down to my aunts and even cousins and second cousins. The tradition that SOMEONE is always on the out. THAT SOMEONE is the one who everyone critiques, picks apart and talks negatively about. THE SOMEONE who isn’t always invited to things. The SOMEONE who is the A$$shole – just because someone else decided.   And as I let it resonate for a moment, I step back and look at other relatives and people in the room and realize that most of those who I know, have done a one-eighty toward me in the time I have been in the room with them as well. WTH?!?!!? At this point I give my husband the “it’s-time-to-circle-the-wagons-and-go” look so that we can gather up the kids and head out.

We go through the motions of saying our goodbyes to everyone. The final people we need to see before stepping out is my Cousin (the one who has the beef with me, but I am clueless as to what I have done). There were a few people ahead of us leaving so we had to wait for a few people ahead of us. And low and behold, as if I wasn’t beaten up enough I am next in line to say the goodbyes and my Cousin decides that she needs to excuse herself and use the ladies room. At this point, I see my mother have a look of shear surprise on her face, so I know that I have a witness to the crazy situation. Being the type of person that doesn’t like to back down easily, I waited a few minutes for my cousin to return and then when she didn’t in a few minutes I went in the ladies room myself. She then scurried back to the banquet room so I went back there made sure the kids and hubby where there and we said our goodbyes and were out of there. All the way home I kept playing the afternoon over and over in my head. At that point, between the adrenaline and lack of food, I felt a migraine kicking in.

A few weeks have passed since my uncle’s memorial service and I am still processing everything that happened.  The range of emotions are crazy. I keep going back over the day and even the time between Christmas and the Memorial Service trying to figure out what I might have done or said to cause this. At the end of the day, I really don’t have any answers. I notice that by having the gifts that I have, that it feels strange picking up on all that I do. I have a lot of “pinch-me-I-must-be-making-this-up” moments. That is where the trippy part comes in. At the end of the day, I know what I am picking up on is real. It is just heartbreaking when the negativity is coming from people who are supposed to love and care about you. I have decided that in order to protect my “energy” and my emotions around extended family, “I am now down to weddings and funerals” for most.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Have you ever had a Premonition or Psychic Dream?

Looking back, I may have had premonitions as a child, but one of the times that I had such a dream or premonition was back in 2010, before I connected the dots on having intuitive abilities. It is unfortunate that I wasn’t able to explore the premonition deeper when I had it, though I am not sure that I would have been able to prevent the outcome.  Today I am going to share an experience with you that I haven’t shared with anybody else before. Not even with my husband or the people who were affected by the incident.

Everybody dreams, though we don’t always remember what we dream about. Also, everybody has a certain degree of psychic ability but some are more heightened than others. A premonition is a strong feeling that something is about to happen and generally that “something” is unpleasant. Premonitions can happen in dreams, also known as a psychic dream. Though we don’t always remember our dreams details in psychic dreams tend to stick with us.

At the time that this took place, it was spring, and I was pregnant with my second child. I recall that I went to lay down to get some rest while my husband took our other child on an errand. I dozed off for what didn’t seem like very long and I awoke to a loud bang. One that jolted me out of bed and made my adrenaline start rushing. I associated the sound to an engine backfiring, but it seemed more loud and intense than that. Right before I woke, I recalled seeing a circle in my “dream” right before I heard the sound. I didn’t think much of it until a few days later.

A few days later, my brother-in-law lost a very good friend of his to suicide and unfortunately his friend’s method of suicide was a gun. I later put two and two together that the loud noise that had woke me was that of a gun going off. The “round” image that I saw was that of looking at the barrel of a gun at point blank. At the time, being so “green” and not even realizing that I had psychic abilities, I didn’t know how to interpret the information or what to do with it. Though I had the premonition, I didn’t know who it was for.

Have you ever had a Premonition or Psychic Dream?