Yesterday I was Keeping my Words in, and I Started to get a Sore Throat

Along my awakening journey I have learned that most dis-ease, body ailments, aches and pains that we experience in our bodies here in the physical world are related to our frame of mind and emotional state. (Louise Hay’s Book, “Heal Your Body” is a great resource for this topic.) I had an experience yesterday that is a perfect example of this that I would like to share with you.

As a reminder, the stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.

This post is a bit long, but I think that the back story is important to share to bring light as to why my throat started to hurt.

As it relates to this story, parents all have different parenting styles and we all handle issues with our children as we see fit. In our house when my children have an issue with another child (which doesn’t happen very often) we start by addressing the issue in only the four walls of our house and try to talk through and rectify the issues that way. (I don’t bother my children’s school with the issue and I don’t reach out to other parents immediately.)  If things are more serious or the same thing(s) keeps happening between one of my children and another child, (and it needs to be something big or my child’s reaction shows me concern) I will bring it to the attention of the other child’s parent. I’ve only had to bring up issues with other parents a few times so far in my children’s adolescent lives. Honestly I can count on one hand the number of times and I think I am up to maybe 4. In the times I have had to reach out to another parent I have presented the issues as a “heads up” to the parent to let them know that an incident took place. I don’t ask for anything in return. No even an apology to my kid. Just simply a heads up. I also ask that parent to let ME know what role my child played in the incident and to please let me know if I need to address anything with my child.

The times that I have been contacted by another parent about concerns or incidents that my children have been involved in, I thank the parent for reaching out to me and let them know that I will be addressing the issue with my child. I then sit down with my child and ask them for their side of the story.

As with anything, there are always three sides to any story…What this one thinks happens. What the other person think happens. And then what REALLY happened…. We all have our different perception or interpretation as to what is going on around us. In some cases one person might be in the wrong in their actions. In other cases both parties might be right or wrong in their actions.

If a parent contacts me about my child, I sit down with my child and get their side of the story and decide whether they were correct or not correct in their behavior. Then I circle back with the parent who contacted me and at times it has been appropriate that my child apologize to the other child. In our home we tend to “make things right” with the situation or other person and try to move on, even if we (or my children) feel that they didn’t wrong anyone. It is easier to just be a good human and to apologize and to move on.

My child (as well as our family) has tolerated the behavior of another child in our neighborhood for nearly the last six years. The list of things that this child has done that we have tolerated is a mile long and ranges from things like damaging our property, using inappropriate words and comments for his age, physically striking my children with other toys, and the best was the time that our family came home one day to find that he let himself into our house (and our dog running amok around the neighborhood). Though many of these things have continued to happen, the ones that I listed above all happened before this kid was 8 years old. (He is now 11.)

Over the years, after such incidents, I  have kept my mouth shut and I didn’t follow up with the parents of the child because my gut feeling told me if I bring anything up, that it would cause bad blood with this family. My thought was by keeping my mouth shut and tolerating this kid that I was being a cordial and considerate neighbor. (As many of you read this, I know you are thinking, WTF? Why didn’t you say anything?)

Fast forward to less than two months ago, there were multiple verbal instances between my child and this kid and on the final time other parents were witness to it. Since it was the third or fourth time that it happened and I could see that it was wearing on my child, I chose to reach out to the mother of the child via text.

The mother responded quickly and thanked me for letting her know. She did allude to the fact that her child’s behavior had to do with a text message that a third party kid sent her kid, but she said she would address it.

OK, fine. My thought was “let’s move on.” I’ve brought it to her attention. She’ll handle it her way. We are done here. (I was actually surprised at the quick response as other parents have warned me that they never get anywhere with her when they have raised issues in the past.) I felt satisfied in thinking that this was a done issue.

Then just this week, my child (who is generally on the more timid side) comes home fuming, in tears and is looking to punch walls and to kick things. He tells me that “he can’t take it anymore” and describes what this kid, the ringleader, said on the bus to my child and got others to join in as well. My child said that the ringleader and another child were poking at him the most, though others were also chiming in. My child does lack courage when standing up to others and it is something that we are still working on, but I could tell that this incident shook him. He proceeded to tell me that this has previously gone on (since the last incident that I let the mother know about) and I could tell that he had had it and that the ring-leading child’s repeated actions were affecting my child’s mental and emotional state.

I waited a few hours (I always feel that a cool down period is important) and I reached out to the children’s parents who seemed to cause my child the most distress with one being the ringleader’s mother and then to another mother who I know, to make them aware of the incident. I didn’t ask for anything in return, I just wanted them to be aware.

One mother responded back to me. She expressed concern and said that she’d be addressing it with her child. She also offered to have her child come over and to apologize. The other… the ringleader’s mother, wrote back a curt message that evening.  (Let’s add here that as an Intuitive Emapth, I can feel the tone of words that are written, not just spoken as well as have the ability to sense the feelings and energy of other people.)

The next morning while heading to the bus stop, I see the ringleaders’ mother running with her dog. She sees me, looks the other way and takes off.  Later that morning, I get a lengthy text from her. Basically she thinks what her kid said/did to my kid in the previous incident a few months ago as well as the other day isn’t that big of a deal. Her older kid and his friends have done it before and she doesn’t think it is that bad. Boys will be boys. Kids will be kids. (She based this on the fact that she has experience with older kids.) She then spun things and went on to say that I don’t care for her son (well, YOU the reader of this post saw my above list) and made him out to be the victim. She then went on to say that she knows her child and she will always support him. The last line of her message was “Have a nice day!” (In her defense we are I Mercury Retrograde.)

Oh! The things I could respond back with! I was seething. The things I have witnessed her child do… The complaints I have from at least six other families who live nearby who have shared their experiences with this family and this specific kid… The things that other parents at school have mentioned to me about her son…..

I could feel my throat starting to get scratchy as my thoughts were becoming inflamed. I thought, “Great! I’m getting sick!”

I battled with myself as to what my next move should be. Should I respond back?

I thought, why bother? It is going to fall on deaf ears, no responsibility is going to be taken, some people have to be right, they don’t have compassion and they are self-absorbed. I felt that if I go back to her with anything, she’ll just keep throwing it back this way and that her anger and negativity are just going to escalate. Furthermore, if someone has traits they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when an Empath comes along as we reflect their “shadow side” back to them. (I AM an Empath!) Empaths tend to highlight and outline the traits of another person by not playing into lies, behaviors and narcissism.

I also struggled with the fact that my energy isn’t worth sacrificing and really needs to be protected. (People should protect their own energy, but for an Empath, it is even more crucial to do so.) Her lower vibration is just going to bring mine down to her level and the more I interact with her, the more this is going to happen.

And lastly, I feel that somewhere in this mess there is a bit of a “test” for me along my journey. Perhaps a test in keeping my mouth shut regarding things that I know. (See my post about “Spirit Gossip” and getting intuitive information on people who irritate my spirit.)

By dinner time my throat was getting worse and I started to take proactive measures with essential oils and elderberry syrup in the event that I was getting sick.

After dinner was done and the kids were off doing their own thing, I went into my office and I decided to “document” some of the recent instances that my child has had with the ringleader. (A few mothers who I know suggested that I do this in case these incidents keep happening with this kid.) As I was documenting, I also got the other information I had on this child out of my system. A bit of a purge shall we say?

I realized that after I was done documenting and purging, that my throat was back to normal. (Perhaps a reflective crystals ball in my window as well as my selenite wand did a little assisting as well.) Out of curiosity, I did get out my “Heal Your Body” book by Louise Hay to see what the cause or thought pattern of a sore throat or even throat meant.

Per the book, problems with the throat have to do with “The Inability to speak up for one’s self” and “Swallowed anger.” And a sore throat is associated with “Holding in angry words.” Hmmm, sounds like that hit yesterday on the head!

Today, I woke up with no issues in my throat. I also have a feeling of contentment. I know that I did the right thing by not engaging any longer with the mother. I also know that there is more to come and that I should just stay in my lane. The Universe will be taking care of the rest. #SpiritGossip #SoulContracts

An Empath Can Never Have Too Much Space Between Them and Negative or Toxic People

As an Empath, it can be challenging to manage your energy, especially when you are in settings where there is a negative or toxic person or group of people. I have found that the simply moving away from the source of negativity does wonders for me.

What is a negative or toxic person you ask? Well, they tend to be people who have issues with maintaining relationships. They judge others, dwell on the past, have anger issues, they can never be wrong and tend to be brown-nosers.

These types of people like to be the center of attention even if it is negative attention. They will do anything to get you to pay attention to them and see their point of view even if they tell you lies or fib to you.  They also tend to leverage themselves into a position where people have but no choice but to pay attention to them.

Negative or toxic people tend to either stir up drama or feed off of others, and at times will even help it to manifest. They manipulate, they like to control, and they like to withhold information that can be a benefit to others. They also like to blame others for their circumstances.

Do you know anyone who fits this bill?? A relative? A co-worker? A hair-dresser? A class-mate? A stage mother? A sports parent? A drinking buddy?

It is nearly impossible to avoid negative or toxic people all together, especially at social gatherings, in the workplace, at school or church functions, or at your child’s extracurricular activities. As an empath, physical closeness can increase the absorption of a negative person’s feelings or energy. With that said, I have found it extremely effective to distance myself physically from such people. And by distancing I mean at least twenty feet or more. In cramped quarters, that isn’t always possible but in the least, it is helpful to avoid as much contact as possible with negative or toxic people. Give yourself permission to change where you are sitting, stand on a different side of the room, or take frequent breaks from the crowd if need be. Sure, it can come off looking anti-social or snobby, but I have let go of being worried about what other people think as my own energy, or how I feel physically, outweighs other people’s opinions. And really, if it is a negative person that one is trying to avoid, that person isn’t giving you a second (positive) thought anyway. Right?