When you are Reflecting Back What People Don’t Like about Themselves, Seeing Two Deceased Fathers in a Room, and at the End of the Day You Know that the Pot-Stirrer is really stirring the Pot Because She Needs Attention: It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding!

I sat at the table with my arms open under the table and my palms facing upward. I recall during the speeches literally sending love and a bright white light to those at my table

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Vibrating higher - NaysayersI recently attended my first family wedding since I became aware that I was going through a Spiritual Awakening Process – the process in which my metaphysical gifts have grown stronger. The only other large event that has taken place since my gifts have gotten stronger was a Memorial Service for a relative. You can read about it here:  https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As amazed as I was by people’s behavior towards me that evening, I was more stunned by the idea that I already knew that people would be treating me the way they did. I think on some level I thought that I could get through to certain individuals and break down walls and start the family healing that I believe is falling on my shoulders. I talk about that toward the end of a previous blog post. You can read that here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/17/we-are-just-here-to-celebrate-a-wedding-and-that-is-it/

I will happily add that I started to lose some weight a week or so before the wedding and to this day, it is still falling off with really no effort or intention on my part. It is as though my “layer of protection” that I have packed on (you can read about here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/ive-heard-of-the-freshman-fifteen-but-nobody-mentioned-the-awakening-15-to-me/ ) started to melt away as I got confident in myself, the angel messages that I had received and what I had to deal with at this wedding. The weight has continued to come off after as I replay in my head what I observed in people that evening. I have also been more honest with telling some people around me about my gifts, which I believe has assisted in dropping the weight as well.

So, about the wedding… (Which was really beige and not white, by the way.)

While getting ready for the wedding, I had some down time and I used that time to center myself, go over what I needed to do (radiate my light and spread love to those around me. This is the message that I got from my Guides a few weeks back.) I talked to my “spiritual team” (Guides and Angels) and even performed some Reiki on myself. I

Pyrite rose gold
My handbag, Rose Quartz and Pyrite.

knew that my grandmother, (my father’s mother) would be walking along side of me that evening. I’ve known it for months.  I was as ready as I was going to be. I was calm and relaxed and ready for whatever was going to come my way. I threw some crystals in my purse. I took rose quarts and pyrite. (Rose quartz is the stone of the heart, a crystal of unconditional love that carries a soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort. Pyrite is a protector of negative energy as well as a stone that give a confidence boost.) I performed my usual energy protection rituals and then we were off. There was a shuttle bus that could have taken us to the wedding venue, but we chose to drive by ourselves.

My husband and I arrived at the chapel prior to my parents and sister. We grabbed a seat and saved room for others to join us as the seats were filling up fast. We had a row further back. I was in the corner but felt it was a comfortable space where I could observe from. We got a wave from some members of my Uncle’s side of the family toward the front row, but no body offered for us to move up, which was fine, we don’t feel we are the first tier of people to be up in front anyway.

While waiting, I saw my cousin Ann*, my second cousin Lynn* and her mother, Auntie J.* walk in.

Beautiful-form-of-communication.-640x640My husband was standing in the aisle while I was sitting in the pew. Lynn walked by and gave my husband a quick hug and tried to scoot by with just a  wave and a hello to me, but I got up and greeted her with a hug. Then I see her mother, Auntie J.  I went up to her and she let me hug her, but then I go to kiss her on the cheek and she turned away. I noticed what has happened but carry on without missing a beat. As that was taking place, my cousin Ann said a side-ways “hello” more to my husband, than to me, and tried to walk behind everyone and avoid me. I moved closer to her and hugged her and said, “It’s great to see you.” She murmured the same back and walked to the front of the church where my uncle’s side of the family was seated. I can honestly say that I treated each lady with love and respect from the get-go that evening.

Next my parents arrived. They squeezed in and my mother asked where my sister is. She walks in (she arrived with the first three gals, but stopped off at the ladies room) and my mother called for her to sit by us. I gave her a hug as she sat down near my mother and me. I could tell that she was irritated that she had to sit by me and my parents, as she would have preferred to sit up front with the cousins, but let’s be honest, your parents come first. At one point my cousin Ann motions to my sister that there is room where they are sitting up front, but then my mom chimed in and asked if there was room for all of us, and that ended that. You could see my sister’s disgust in her body language as she realized that she was “stuck” with us for the ceremony.

As the ceremony is ready to get started, I saw my Uncle, the father of the groom, and we make eye contact. I give both him and the groom’s brother a hello as they pass by and see me.  They weren’t sure what to make of my “hello” but wave back.

Before and during the ceremony, no matter what I would say to my sister to attempt to make conversation, she would say the opposite. I would say left, she’d say right, I’d mention up, she’d say down.  No matter what I tried to do to get anywhere with her, I couldn’t so I took a break from trying until later in the evening.

The ceremony was very nontraditional and had more of a “comedy” theme to it. Others seemed to relate to the inside jokes that were said and the tone of the ceremony. Though it was a nice ceremony I didn’t connect with it, but I reminded myself that I didn’t relate to many of the people who were in the chapel and vice versa, they didn’t understand me in the least bit, but all of that was OK. We were there to celebrate the marriage of a bride and groom who were starting their life out together. It didn’t matter what the rest of us thought. It was their day. The day was how THEY want it to be. Outside opinions didn’t matter.

Once the ceremony concluded, we stepped outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out of the chapel. My parents, husband and I greeted my Aunt and Uncle (the mother and father of the groom). All four of us exchanged hugs and handshakes are exchanged and we are told “Thank you for coming.” My initial thought was, “Great! Everyone is acting cordial.”

While waiting for the couple to come out, I saw my Uncle’s sister-in-law. We’ll call her “Pat*”. Pat had a really cute dress and flats on and I complimented her on her dress and shoes. She commented back, referring to the wedges that I was wearing, about how she followed the rules on the wedding invite and wore flats as suggested, to the outdoor venue. Her comment seemed a bit icy, but I believed the comment had more to do with her, wishing she didn’t wear the flats, than with me.

On the way to the tented reception, I stopped off to the ladies room. There I made small talk with strangers who were in there. I am one who normally will make small talk with strangers and offer a smile or lift them up with a compliment. As I looked in the mirror, I could see (and feel) that I was still vibrating high.

On my way out of the ladies room, my sister and cousin Ann walk past my husband not acknowledging him until they saw me and then they said something. I let it go and made some light-hearted comment back and we headed toward the reception tent.

Once in the tent, we got our table assignments. My husband (the only male who would be at our table) and I were going to be seated with my sister, Ann, Lynn and Auntie J. My parents were seated at a different table. I could see the disappointment on my husband and father’s faces that they weren’t going to get to sit together. I could also sense my mother’s dismay as well.  I decided that we weren’t going to sit down quite yet and visit around the room first, but I also made sure that we acknowledge those who were at our table prior to sitting down. My husband and I took the long way toward our table and stopped at the bar first. I filled him in on what I had seen/sensed from other’s actions towards me at the church. To a certain degree he doesn’t see or understand fully what I see and feel as he is not an Intuitive Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person like I am.

We stopped by the bar and I asked for a cranberry and tonic. I made a point to not drink alcohol about 5 days before the wedding, as well as to not drink at the wedding for two reasons: Alcohol can block the flow of spiritual gifts. (Five days might not sound like much to some, but I feel like almost every day an excuse pops up to have a drink – a glass of wine on the patio, a drink out with the girls, a cocktail after the kids are in bed, etc.) Also, coming from a family tree of heavy drinkers, I decided that I didn’t need anyone accusing me of acting a “certain way” because maybe I had too much to drink.

On the way to the bar I saw a man’s face that seemed to transform into Lynn’s father’s face, who had passed. The face gave me a deep, knowing look into my eyes. I let it pass. Sort of questioning it.

While at the bar, Pat’s husband came up and talked to me and my husband. All was fine. We just made small talk. Also while in line I see my aunt and uncle’s sister in law, Jilly*. Jilly (as well as Pat) have a history or coming up to me at family events, especially Jilly, if they are the current target of negativity, or on the outs with, well shall we say, may Aunt Marie,* the mother of the groom. In the past, when they have been short on people to “chat” with at family functions, they will chat it up with me to kill time. That wasn’t happening at this function. But when you have been the target before, you don’t want to piss off the Ring Leader, so you abide by the “rules” and follow suit. This cycle of icing somebody out has happened for generations. It happened with my Great Grandmother, my grandmother and great aunt, and with my aunt and cousins now. Jilly and I never had a problem making conversation before but while in line at the bar, I said hello, gave her a hug and complimented her on the jacket she had on. In an adverse tone, and no eye contact, she replied, “Thanks, my daughters picked it out.” And turned her back and walked away. That was that. She was done.

I made a stop at our table before I made my way over to check out the dessert table and found some cute, older gals standing by a heater to try to keep warm. (It was not quite 50 degrees out and raining.) We chatted it up a bit. I enjoyed their smiles and warm energy, no pun intended.

After viewing the dessert table, I stopped by my mother who is trying to get organized at her assigned table. Her and my father’s seats keep getting pushed down further to the end of the table as Pat was organizing who should sit where. I tried to make small talk with Pat and my mother, but Pat didn’t make eye contact with me and tried to zip a zinger comment my way to make me “feel dumb” which I was aware of. At that point, I just moved on.

Since we are lacking family photos as a whole and we were all dressed up, my mother found a nice back drop and takes some photos in front of. We called my sister over so that she could join us.  While this was taking place, I could feel the negative energy and comments from those hanging out at the table we are to be seated at in a bit.

FB_IMG_1520543985906After my mom was done with taking photos, my sister and dad start talking by the DJ’s table. I went up and tried to join in the conversation. My husband eventually joined as well. No matter what conversation starter I asked my sister, the harsh, snippy responses were thrown back in my direction. I almost asked her what was wrong, why the tone, is there something that I did? The look on the face and body language couldn’t be ignored either, but then I remembered, we were just there for a wedding. If I asked too much, I might have gotten a negative reaction and we didn’t need to make a spectacle. I just let it be. At the end of the day, I knew that her issues are her own and they have to do with the way that my parents raised us differently, under the same roof. I was raised in such a way that I became more independent and she was the one who was (and still is) always coddled and never confronted for her actions. I have also learned that she uses her body language as a way to get attention as the victim. Victims play the victim for the sake of attention.

It was finally time to sit down for dinner. As we sat down, I caught a glimpse of what looked like and reminded me of Ann’s father who had passed. I saw him look over at me and I sensed that deep knowing look.  I knew he was there. Once we sat, I sensed the awkwardness kicking in, heads were down and everyone focused on their plates. It was more than a resting bitch face for some. In some cases, it was also the shoulders slumped forward.  I decide to just take the lead and nip the awkward silence in the bud. I paid particular attention to MY own body language making sure that I was “open” to others and not closed off. I started with Ann. I ask, “Ann, how are the kids doing?” and in response to my question, I got an abrupt and angered “Fine, how are yours?” back. I saw Lynn’s eyes pop out of her head so I knew that I wasn’t playing up the dramatics of the tone that was used. Ann dialed it back a bit and asked me, “How are yours?” I kept my gentle tone consistent and explained some of my kids’ recent activities and then moved on to Lynn and asked about her son and she showed some photos from his Senior Prom.

I sat at the table with my arms open under the table and my palms facing upward. I recall during the speeches literally sending love and a bright white light to those at my table. I saw the gentleman who looked like Lynn’s father pass by again. I got the long gaze as he came by. I struggled with what to do with that, but clearly at this point in time, and after watching people’s behavior, my thoughts were that nobody was ready to accept the gifts that I have or the messages that could be delivered because they’d be coming from me. I do think that Lynn’s father popped up twice to me because her mother was also at the table. Though they were divorced when he passed, I know that there is still love and hurt there. Better yet, I think that Lynn’s son’s soul is that of her brother that passed away at birth. Again, nobody is ready to hear this.

b3780144a617e2bc4566222df14fbf26I tried to chat with my sister a few more times while we were still sitting at dinner. I asked her questions about her work, her dog, and so forth. Still, not getting very far. While at the table I couldn’t help but to notice the “looks” back and forth between Lynn and Ann throughout the evening. At times I see my sister looking at Ann and Lynn’s non-verbal communication, but I could tell that she’s not in on it. She was more the third wheel that was used when they needed a bigger team. I particularly picked up on the looks and vibes whenever my dad walked up. (My poor father kept trying to come over and talk to my husband because he had little conversation at his table and equally felt bad for my husband.)

Eventually, the bride and groom danced their first dance together. They danced to what was my deceased Aunt and Uncle’s song – Ann’s parents. When the song is over, I literally saw my aunt and uncle joined together and waving at me as the song concluded. I smiled and thanked them.

At some point my sister, Lynn and Ann go off and dance. I felt bad for Auntie J. being left alone so my husband and I stayed seated at the table. At one point, when the ladies returned to the table, I was taken aback at what I saw. I saw a gray color around them. Not so much their aura, but more like their skin, hair and bodies, it was like I saw their “toxicity.” (To me, an aura is more the outline energy field of the body and not the body itself.)

My husband and I danced to a slow song. My father grabbed Ann for the dance. I know why my father did it. Ann is a connection to my deceased Aunt for him. She was uncomfortable with it, but that had more to do with her actions than his.

After dancing, I saw my Aunt Maria sitting by herself watching the dance floor. I thought that it would be a good time to go over and try to say something to her. After all, things seemed fine when we walked out of the chapel. I bent down and told her, “Today was really nice, don’t you think?” She turned halfway, gave me a glare and replied, “Yeah, thanks.” And turned her back toward me. I bent down again, thinking I would try again, but decided to just leave it.

32452343_365986140589779_1026768973569458176_nI know that she is the pot-stirrer of this whole current family mess.  In all fairness, she grew up around similar actions. (When you know better, you do better.) I  know that she harbors a lot of anger and resentment which if not released, will turn into disease. I believe it will be bone cancer if she doesn’t break the cycle. I also known that when people stir the pot, they are doing so to put attention on them. For whatever reason THEY need attention so they try to get it by creating drama.

At that moment, I remember thinking to myself that I was thankful (for the first time in my life) for a girl who I went to school with – The Prom Queen. She was also a pot-stirrer and she was great at getting the room to turn on a person. I didn’t realize until now that the aggravation that she caused me years ago actually prepared me for moments like these.

At this point in the evening, I felt that I had only gotten as far as I was going to get with people in the room and that it was time to go. My mom gave me a strange look when I told her that my husband and I were saying our good byes and heading out. (My dad on the other hand was wishing that he could leave with us.)

I realize that my parents are trying to keep their noses clean in this family drama situation. My Aunt Maria is my father’s only living original family member left left so they don’t want to ruin that. Never mind that my father was taught his whole life to keep his head down and to avoid conflict. With that said, if people were treating my sister that evening the way that they were treating me, he would have been all over it making phone calls and having conversations behind the scenes to try to fix things on her behalf. I need to chalk it up to: My parents think that I am independent and can handle this.

Before leaving, we look for my Uncle to say “goodbye” to. I never got confirmation (yet) on the watch that my uncle was wearing at the wedding, but I have a feeling that someday in the future I will. (Refer back to my previous blog.) He was very pleasant and appreciative. A very different energy than my Aunt’s Marie’s. He put his hand on my back when we left and I felt his energy towards me – the energy of touch means more than words.

I am glad that we drove separately and didn’t take the shuttle back to the hotel. It turns out that Lynn was running her mouth on the bus ripping the ceremony and wedding apart with the bride two seats away from her. Definitely not the final words a Bride wants to end her special day on.

The next day, word gets to me that some thought that I was acting “fake” at the wedding and Ann had felt the need to reference me as “someone who flaunts their sainthood in order to find their horns.” At the end of the day I know that people’s issues are their own and their behaviors have to do with how they are really feeling about themselves. Empaths are mirrors to others. We reflect back to others what they don’t like about themselvesempaths reflect back and what they need to change or to work on. Let’s also remember that empaths don’t do fake.

If I was acting out of my normal range, my husband would have been the first to call me out on it, right then and there on it. I know in my heart that I was acting authentically.

I also realize that I vibrate higher than those I was around at the wedding. As a rule, when you vibrate higher, toxic people fall away from you. They also don’t know how to approach you. (I have learned this along my awakening journey.)

When it was time to head back home, I closed the hotel room door behind me. Before doing so, I paused for a moment. It felt symbolic. Like I was turning a page or even closing a book cover. Perhaps some family healing was put into motion the day of the wedding. Only time will tell.

*Names and some timeline order of events have been changed to protect people’s privacy.

Ever Since I was a Child, I get Overly Emotional at Parades

I Have Cried (happy tears) at Parades, Ever Since I was a Child. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I put the pieces together and realized that there was a reason for the tears. I am an Empath and a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Ever since I was a child, I can recall crying at parades. My first memory of this goes back to somewhere between 7 or 8 years old. I recall standing along the curbside a few blocks from my house anticipating how much candy might be thrown my way at an annual town celebration parade.

On one particular day in the month of June, I recall it being early in the morning, maybe around 9am, the sun just to the right of me, I stood waiting for the parade to start. My parents and sister were near me, along with many familiar faces as the town I grew up in was a small, Midwestern town.

The beginning of theparade parade. like most parades, was marked with a police car and a fire truck. I recall the firetruck at the beginning of the parade, starting its siren to announce the start of the parade. A jolt of excitement ran through my body as the siren blew. Then I experienced a cycle of me smiling, eyes welling up with tears, happiness overcoming me, a sense of pride, and then…the cycle would start all over again when service men and woman would march by,  or the Shriners would zip their small cars  around the street, or a marching band would stop in its tracks and play a song for spectators.

I was never scared at parades, and it wasn’t the loud noises bringing tears to my eyes. The tears weren’t that of being frightened or even sad. I recall having the knowledge that the tears that I had in my eyes were that of “happy tears” to the best of my description at that age.

It wasn’t until a few years ago I put the pieces together and realized that there was a reason for the tears at parades. (I still find tears coming to my eyes at parades even now in adulthood.) I have learned that I am an Empath and a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Yes, that is a real term, a Highly Sensitive Person.

Empaths can “feel” and pick up on the emotions of people around them, and people who are “Highly Sensitive” are more aware of and affected by external stimuli than non-HSPs. They are often empaths and internalize everything more deeply — from social interactions to emotions to physical and visual sensations.

You can learn more about traits of an Empath here: https://themindunleashed.com/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

You can learn more about HSP traits here: https://www.ourheritageofhealth.com/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person-10-signs-you-might-have-this-inherited-trait/

Wrap all of this together and at places like parades, I am soaking up the excitement and energy from the music, the crowd around me as well as the swirl of emotions that is taking place when service men and woman and first responders walk by or an honored community member who was picked to be the grand marshal.

In recent years I have learned different techniques to shield or protect myself from the energies around me. I will say that I have NOT YET perfected protecting myself fully at large, energetic events like parades, but I am doing better.

To this day, I still cry at parades (as well as at theater play performances,  or when the Anthem is sung in front of a large crowd,  at Superbowl half time performances, and even during large firework displays.) I find the energy to be overwhelming, but in a good way.

Not Your Typical Lightworker Job

Yesterday in one of the Facebook groups that I belong to, the question was asked: “What do you do for a job?” Mine isn’t your typical job.

Many chimed in with jobs like Reiki Healing, Yoga Teacher, etc. I chimed in with mine:

I am a marketing consultant and event planner, which may not be your typical “healing job” but ironically at each event I assist with, or with each client I offer “business-related” assistance to, some sort of healing or divine connection takes place that can’t be ignored.

I then had a few people ask me to explain more about how I feel the healing or divine connections, so here are some examples in no particular order that I came up with.

Let me what-to-wear-to-a-client-meeting-professional-work-office-wear-attire-women-business-formal-suit-sheath-dress-fashion-style-blog-memorandum5start by saying that I don’t share publicly in my community (yet) the metaphysical side of myself, or the gifts that I possess, with too many people, so I approach many of my “regular” business meetings and events like any “normal” person would. (What is normal, LOL!) For example, I don’t walk into an event or meeting and provide people with readings or explain to them what I can do. With that said, I don’t necessarily put the “closed for business” sign up either, as daily I ask to be a conduit between the physical and spiritual world.

I recently helped to coordinate a fundraiser to raise awareness about a disease, as well as to raise money for research in the hopes of finding a cure. One of the contacts at the venue had a best friend who passed away three years ago from the same disease. (I kept getting a long “A” sound for the deceased friend and later found out that her last name had the long “A” sound to it.) The contact at the venue was instrumental in pulling a few strings for some special things for the event. She was not able to be on-site the day of event because she already committed to taking appointments that day to do hair for people who are shut in and unable to go and get their hair done. (This is important to note later, remember that she does hair on the side.) She was upset that she wasn’t able to be there, but she felt good doing things for the event prior. As if she was doing this for her friend who had passed. I could see it in her over the course of our planning meetings together.

Fast forward to the day of the event. My contact had a friend purchase some raffle tickets on her behalf, (again, she felt like she was doing this in support of her friend). Later that afternoon, she won a gift basket full of hair products. Something she could clearly use as someone who does hair on the side. And someone who doesn’t have access to getting discounted hair products. Confirmation of this was when the ticket was being drawn and her name was read. I got the tingling head thing that I get, followed by me tearing up a bit knowing what was really going on here. I truly believe that her friend had helped her win that prize from heaven. (I have seen things like this happen time and again and I call it being “gifted from heaven.”)

And if that wasn’t enough, my venue contact won again. She won the 50/50 drawing. (A 50/50 drawing is when participants buy raffle tickets for X-amount of money and the money raised is split with the winner and the event’s cause.) When she was told that she won, I could tell that she personally struggled with the idea of donating the money back to our cause, but at the end of the day, she needed it and her friend knew it. A few days later after the event, I could feel that her (my venue contact) energy was lighter.

Also at this event, every time I did a money drop, or when we counted up funds at the end of the event, I kept getting triple digit numbers somewhere within the dollar amounts – Angel numbers. This confirmation was for me, as I called in my guides and angels to assist me with the event and the numbers were confirmation for me that they were with me and working behind the scenes.

Another client of mine is a book author. She wrote about her journey after her husband’s unexpected death. I recently helped her to exhibit at her first author’s fair. (She knows about my gifts, but nobody else there was the wiser.) As we were setting up, there was a man that I kept crossing paths with. Holding doors for, making small talk with, etc. and low and behold, we go to my client’s space and find that he is right next to her! If that wasn’t enough, he authored a book about his late wife and the love letters and notes that they wrote to each other over the years. My client and the other author chatted off and on throughout the event. They kept comparing notes together about their similar grieving journeys. When my client would walk away from the table, he’d reach over and share with me parts of his personal story and I would confirm that my client went through similar thoughts, feeling and emotions. As we hit on different things you could see his face relax and sensed that he got some reassurance that he needed.

Additionally, he and my client exchanged information to meet for coffee someday. While I don’t feel that there is a love connection to be made here, I think that he is going to be an important stepping stone for my client both professionally and personally.

At this same event I took some time to check out some of the other authors in the room. There were two that I was drawn to. The first was an older gentleman who had a book that looked to have a paranormal theme to it. After first talking to him, I didn’t get much out of him and was confused why I felt the need to meet him and learn about his book series. Later, he approached me and we talked some more. He used to be a private detective and still does consulting work. (Bingo! This is why this was important!) I eventually would like to use my gifts to help with unsolved cases and missing persons cases. He and I exchanged contact information and after the event we exchanged a few emails a few days later. I came clean about my gifts to him. He told me that his books have to do with a detective who learned of his gifts while trying to solve a case. He did ask to meet up for coffee someday in the future, and though I don’t feel the need to meet up with him right now, we aren’t done yet – we will circle back to each other and I feel it may be for a case that may need some help someday.

Sometimes I learn things about me and things that help me to grow while working. Years ago when I was at a marketing event, I sat with a lady from the office that I was representing. She shared with me that she thinks she was put on this earth to give people messages. For example, she could be on a bus, and share with a complete stranger something that they needed to hear. This took place prior to (what I think was) the start of my awakening. I thought that the concept neat and she woke my mind to the idea of this. (Little did I know that I would be doing the same someday myself.) Later in the event, as we got more comfortable with each other, she dropped a big hint to me that a specific man in the office was “A really great man. A great husband and a great father.” (She laid it on thick and I felt some zinging energy at the end of the statement that she made to me. Again, this is before I understood all that I am and the gifts that I possess.) The statement, because of how it was delivered, sat with me for a moment. I felt myself going over my own actions in my head. I then realized that though she delivered that statement to me, that the message was more for HIM. (This is one of those times that you wish you had responded back in a witty way, but thought of the comeback too late. Something like: “Maybe you should remind him that he is a good husband and father.”)

And, it was my second job out of college where I befriended a co-worker who was instrumental in putting me in touch with the lady who did my very first reading. She would also share with me the signs and symbols that she would get from her mother who had passed, which helped me to expand my understanding of the other side.

One time, when I was going around town gathering raffle prizes from local businesses I had arranged a time to go and pick a gift certificate from a local business. I have done business with the owner in the past and was aware of some of her ongoing health issues. Additionally, at that time (thanks to social media) I knew that she was in a negative funk. While I was picking up the certificate, she unloaded on me some of her troubles. It hit me that my purpose was not so much for the gift certificate, but for giving her some positive energy (and a different perspective on things) to help her to negate the negative energy around her.  (I tend to need a nap after such encounters.) Later I got validation that things were more positive for her.

I can go on and on and expand on these, but I think that this is enough for now.

Until next time.

Love & Light!

Maura

Warning: As an Empath, “Meeting Hangovers” Can Take Up To Two Days to Recover From

Warning: As an Empath, “Meeting Hangovers” Can Take Up To Two Days to Recover From

I belong to a local non-profit community organization and last night we had a meeting. It was our “end-of –year meeting” which goes longer than our normal monthly meetings. That particular meeting goes longer because we do a dinner and socialize at the beginning, conduct our usual meeting, vote on the following year’s Board Members, and then we divvy up the funds that we have raised throughout the year and disperse them to other causes and needs throughout the community. Last’s night meeting by no means was the longest meeting that we’ve ever had, but I was there for over three hours.

The group on a whole is a good group of people, though there are some interesting energies in the room. I don’t actually sit back and try to read the people in the room. I try to enjoy them for who they are, but from time to time I have found that I have been shown things about certain members. I also find myself “un-following” some fellow Club members on social media, but that is because I can’t handle some of the energy that they put out. It is nothing personal, I just can’t keep getting hit with negative funk.

Until just a few years ago, I didn’t realize that I was an Empath, or what traits came along with such a gift. Empaths  “sponge” all kinds of emotional and mental energy from other people – Good. Bad. And otherwise. I also didn’t know how to combat the “hangover” (a.k.a. Empath Fatigue) that I would experience post-large gatherings. When at Club meetings time and time again I find people coming up to me spilling some of their trials and tribulations to me and then I find myself thinking, “Wow! That was a lot they unloaded on me.” Big things. Things like marital troubles, work issues, health issues and financial stuff, just to name a few. One of the traits of being an Empath is to have people open up to them. Sometimes this can happen with people who need healing, other times I notice this comes from energy vampires.

I feel that I have gotten better (in my opinion anyway) about “bubbling up” and protecting or shielding myself, my energy, really, before walking into such large gatherings, but I still feel the aftereffects and the next day kick myself for not continuing to protect myself as much as I should during such events. (Cue Empath Hangover symptoms.) I also sometimes use, which I did last night, some Palo Santo Oil on myself prior to leaving the house. (I mix a few drops of Palo Santo oil in a small atomizer spray bottle with some distilled water and spray myself, as if putting up a wall of defense, and ask my guides and specific Archangels to protect me from negative energies. I feel that this helps with protecting myself from negative energies as well as psychic attacks.)

Between absorbing the energies in the meeting space, and being dumped on with people’s real problems and challenges, (and the occasional drop-in by Spirit), I find it hard to come home and just crawl into bed and go to sleep. I can’t “turn off” just like that. And by turn off, I literally mean turn my body off. I can feel it vibrate or pulse which I’ve come to understand as an energy overload. All of the energy that I have absorbed makes it hard to fall asleep and even stay asleep through the night. I’ve learned to try to cleanse myself (better yet, my Aura) by taking a shower when I get home. (I had this suggested to me awhile back from another lady who has some extraordinary gifts and I find it helps.) I also ground myself. Sometimes as I lay in bed rehashing things that happened through the evening that I can’t seem to let go of, I envision “cutting” a person or situation that is nagging my brain and watch whatever I cut, float away.

Meetings and any type of community service work can be a challenge for me. In one breath, I want to be out there helping people, in another, I find myself ducking out of largely attended events. Events that my take place in a community park or those that may serve a few hundred families in one day. It is too much for me still. I feel too much. I see too much. I can even take on symptoms of those around me. Sometimes I find fellow Club members giving me a questioning look as to why I am not signing up to do specific things. My secret (my gifts) are still a secret to most around town. Sill being in the closet has its challenges.  For example, there was an instance last night when the group was trying to decide how much money should go to which cause and organizations and I found myself blurting out “Does that particular one need that much money?” Followed by my head tingling and ears ringing. I’ll save this story for another day, but let’s just say that one organization that had some embezzlement issues a few years back is now miles ahead of where they used to be and I kept hearing – in my head – that the $500 that the Club was suggesting to donate to them should be knocked down to $250 and that the difference should go to X or Y organization instead. As you can imagine, it is sort of hard to explain to a room full of people that someone on the other side provided this info. (Someone from the other side who I think was at one time working overtime to make good on an embezzlement issue that she was a part of here in the physical world. Never mind that connecting with spirit can zap my energy as well.)

I’m not saying that I am doing everything correctly, but I am better off than what I was a few years ago with this. After a meeting or function, I still find that I am drained the next day. Nowadays the draining feeling lasts only about one day, when in the past, it could take me nearly two days to feel “normal” again. I’ve learned to not schedule anything important the next day, if possible. I’ve at least showered so far today. A few years ago I would have still had my sweat pants on in this point of the day, and considered it to be a “win” if the kids made it off to school and dinner was on the table by 5:00pm. Today I am showered, dressed half decently, and tackling my “to-do list” in a timely matter.

When You Sense People in the Room Turning on You and it Starts to Feel Trippy

While at a Memorial Service I literally felt the energy of many of my relatives and people that I know shift negatively toward me as the day went on, and it started to feel real trippy. Throw in the fact that I am an Empath, there is family drama brewing and I am also a gal who is trying to navigate her every expanding gifts and it turns into one heck of a cluster!

I had an uncle who passed away back in November and just recently we had a memorial service for him.

I had a Goodbye Dream with my Uncle in it recently. You can read about it here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/20/the-goodbye-dream/0

While at this Memorial Service, (that was held in the banquet room at a golf course where he used to play golf in his younger years) I literally felt the energy of many of my relatives and people that I know shift negatively toward me as the day went on, and it started to feel real trippy.

In recent years, I have learned that I am an empath. An empath is highly sensitive to the emotional climate around them. Throw in the fact that there is family drama and I am also a gal who is trying to navigate her every expanding gifts and it turns into one heck of a cluster!

Let me fill in the back story for you.

In December, my husband, kids and I celebrated Christmas Eve at my Aunt’s house, (the sister-in-law to my Uncle who recently passed). At her house, things were fine for the most part, though this Aunt is known to be a pot-stirrer. And by fine, I mean that I dismissed side comments that I know where made about me when I’d leave a room and I ignored a look or glance that was given over my shoulder at times, but all-in-all, I let things roll off and I survived.

My deceased Uncle’s daughter Ann, (my cousin), shares the same Aunt referenced above. Her mother and my Aunt were sisters. This cousin now lives out-of-state and my relationship with this cousin took a one-eighty a few years ago. And truly, to this day, I have no idea what I did to piss her off. To attempt to salvage this relationship I even wrote her a letter once asking where our relationship went wrong and apologized for whatever it was that I did to upset her and asked her how I could fix it. (This was her que to either tell me that all is fine or to F-off, but I never heard a word from her. I still have a copy of the letter.) This cousin is close to my above mentioned Aunt and has a relationship with my Sister. (My sister who has a stronger relationship with my Cousin’s kids than what she does with mine.)

Now here in February, this Memorial Service rolls around. I feel somewhat relaxed knowing that I made it through Christmas Eve unscathed. I know walking in that there is friction with my cousin but knowing that this is a Memorial Service for her father, I know that I am going to be supportive and respectful so really, what could go wrong?!?!?!

As my husband, kids and I walked in, we said our hellos to my cousin and her family who were receiving people at the door. Then I made my way around the room and said my hellos to relatives including cousins, second cousins, friends of my cousin and family friends and neighbors of my Uncle. These people smiled, hugged me and said hi to me.  Small talk here, small talk there… Until, oops!! I walk up to my Aunt (from Christmas Eve) and try to say hello and hug her. She turns sideways as I hug her and she starts to talk to someone else so I FIRST assumed that maybe I accidentally interrupted a conversation and just carried on.

Also before the service got started, I also connected with my Uncle’s neighbor. She is a boisterous Irish lady. She was really good friends with my Aunt (who has passed) and when I talk with her, I feel my Aunt’s presence. I felt the need to share bits and pieces of my “goodbye dream” with her. I asked her if she wanted to know what my Uncle looked like now that he passed. I told her that I had a dream recently. She said “sure” and I shared a few details with her.  All felt fine.

Before the Service starts, I see my Aunt (from Christmas Eve) making her rounds to all of our relatives. I didn’t think anything of it.  Though soon after I notice to the left of me, in the corner of the room, where a majority of the people I know are… The room seemed to grow colder, almost grayer…

The service starts and we all take our seats. People got up and went to the podium and told stories and memories about my Uncle. A few times I was tempted to get up and share my “goodbye dream” with the crowd. The coldness (emotionally, not temperature) from the corner of the room wasn’t helping.  I even had head tingles which is validation for me, but at the end, I chickened out because I didn’t think that the idea of a “goodbye dream” would go over well with the entire crowd. (I later told my mother about the dream when we went to go out to eat after the service.)

As the stories started to wrap up, all of the guests in the room started to mingle. I made my way back to my Aunt who I saw at the beginning of the Service and she again starts walking off as I am trying to make small talk. I then start to approach some distant cousins, and a few of my Aunt’s sister-in-laws and suddenly I am getting half-cracked smiles, little eye contact and one answer responses to my questions. WTF??? Somebody pinch me! I am dreaming? It is though I am feeling their rumblings toward me, but yet nobody is saying anything. Very surreal. Very trippy!

I attempt once again to make my way over to my Aunt who is now sitting down at a table. Her son is getting married next year and I try to use the wedding as a conversation starter. As I start chatting (and notice the wide eyes of one of her sister-in-laws who is next to her) my Aunt gets up as she’s mid-sentence responding to me and walks away from me. I had to move aside to get out of the way for her.

At this point, it hits me. I’m not making up what I saw and felt when I first saw her. It also hits me that this is “the family tradition” (insert sarcasm) on this side of the family. The tradition that goes back to my great grandmother, my grandmother and her sister – my great aunt, and then down to my aunts and even cousins and second cousins. The tradition that SOMEONE is always on the out. THAT SOMEONE is the one who everyone critiques, picks apart and talks negatively about. THE SOMEONE who isn’t always invited to things. The SOMEONE who is the A$$shole – just because someone else decided.   And as I let it resonate for a moment, I step back and look at other relatives and people in the room and realize that most of those who I know, have done a one-eighty toward me in the time I have been in the room with them as well. WTH?!?!!? At this point I give my husband the “it’s-time-to-circle-the-wagons-and-go” look so that we can gather up the kids and head out.

We go through the motions of saying our goodbyes to everyone. The final people we need to see before stepping out is my Cousin (the one who has the beef with me, but I am clueless as to what I have done). There were a few people ahead of us leaving so we had to wait for a few people ahead of us. And low and behold, as if I wasn’t beaten up enough I am next in line to say the goodbyes and my Cousin decides that she needs to excuse herself and use the ladies room. At this point, I see my mother have a look of shear surprise on her face, so I know that I have a witness to the crazy situation. Being the type of person that doesn’t like to back down easily, I waited a few minutes for my cousin to return and then when she didn’t in a few minutes I went in the ladies room myself. She then scurried back to the banquet room so I went back there made sure the kids and hubby where there and we said our goodbyes and were out of there. All the way home I kept playing the afternoon over and over in my head. At that point, between the adrenaline and lack of food, I felt a migraine kicking in.

A few weeks have passed since my uncle’s memorial service and I am still processing everything that happened.  The range of emotions are crazy. I keep going back over the day and even the time between Christmas and the Memorial Service trying to figure out what I might have done or said to cause this. At the end of the day, I really don’t have any answers. I notice that by having the gifts that I have, that it feels strange picking up on all that I do. I have a lot of “pinch-me-I-must-be-making-this-up” moments. That is where the trippy part comes in. At the end of the day, I know what I am picking up on is real. It is just heartbreaking when the negativity is coming from people who are supposed to love and care about you. I have decided that in order to protect my “energy” and my emotions around extended family, “I am now down to weddings and funerals” for most.

You’re an Empath, Not Crazy!

Let me give you some real examples as to how I have taken on other people’s energy or symptoms.

I saw the image at the top of this post come across my Facebook Feed today. I got if off of a great page called: Empathy Welcome and as with most Empath related quotes and information that I see floating around. This one fits the bill. My poor husband many times thinks that I am either (1) hormonal or (2) refer back to #1, I’m just plain hormonal half the time because my moods can constantly change or body ailments can pop up out of the blue.

I can be going along one minute as though everything is fine and then – BOOM!!! I can start stomping around the house, slamming drawers, or at a drop of the hat start yelling at my kids for something that doesn’t quite deserve the high pitch shouting that is coming out of me. The kids, my husband and even the dog have witnessed this time and time again and have had to run for the hills.

….. And sometimes as quick as it started….. It’s done. Almost like “End Scene!”

And then what usually follows is….a nap! Why? Because I am spent. As if something or someone took over my body, made me run a marathon and then left! Left me with the leftovers!!

Let me give you some real examples as to how I have taken on other people’s energy or symptoms.

A few years ago, I got really angry one afternoon. Like really pissed off to the point I was starting to question why I was so angry. The kids were gone, my husband was at work. Nothing out of the ordinary was going on or happened. No family drama at the moment to speak of. Prior to the mood swing, I was having a really good day. The next day I see my neighbor outside while getting my mail. She comes over to chat and tells me that while meeting with lawyers the day before pertaining to her divorce, her soon-to-be Ex Husband (who was going along fine with the divorce process up until now) suddenly wants part of her 401K, part of the home that they lived in, (but she built and he never put a dime in for), and one of the cars that her son drives. She was livid. And really, I was too, the day before, but now I know why!

I remember one Sunday morning at Church I stopped in the ladies room before Service. When I got out of the stall, there was a woman standing at the sink sniffling with a tissue. I thought that maybe she was crying. While washing my hands I asked her if she was OK and she responds that she is suffering from a nasty cold that she can’t seem to get rid of. I wish her a good day. As I walk into Service to find my husband, I notice that suddenly my nose if running (though it wasn’t before we left the house that morning). I first thought to myself, shoot, now I’m getting sick. Within a few moments it hit me – I took a little of the lady in the restroom’s cold away from her. I took on her symptoms…The runny nose went away a few minutes later.

On a particular summer morning, my kids were having friends come over to play and the mom and I were going to hang out while they played. Prior to them arriving I would feel myself getting riled up a bit. Almost angry. I blamed those feelings on the fact that my house was filthy and if I took better care of the cleaning side of things, I’d be less stressed before people come over. Well, after everyone arrives and the kids are sent off to play, I find out that the mom is at her wits end with her children for none of them listening or behaving properly over the last few days, and low and behold her husband had been putting in a lot of time  in at work and not around the house a lot to help with the kids. After hearing what was going on, I got that little kick in my gut and thought to myself, “This is why I was so stressed this morning, never mind the house.”

One afternoon while walking down our block, I remember walking by a certain house and feeling the overwhelming sadness that the parents are feeling because their teen-aged children are always on the go and about to move out of the house for the next chapters of their lives. This was confirmed to me in a later conversation with one of the home owners as he was giving me a lecture reminding me to hang on to the moments that I have now with my kids while they are younger because once they get older, you’ll be sad that they are up and leaving.

Last April I remember sitting in my bathroom I remember feeling a strong sense of sadness and I couldn’t help but to keep thinking that “Life as we know it, will never be the same again.” Strong words, and well, some that can ignite panic. A day or so later at the bus stop I learned of a family in the neighborhood who lost their son a few evenings prior in an automobile accident. I called a friend of mine who was friends with this neighbor asking if she knew of the son’s passing. She didn’t. A few days later she phones me to thank me again for letting her know about the accident as she went over to visit the family. She shared with me that though the family was grieving, they knew that they would see their son again someday. And they now have to learn to figure out a ‘new normal’ because (according to what my friend said) they said, “Life as they know it will never be the same.”

(Sit on that one for a moment.)

Another morning while getting ready I started to feel really sluggish and out of it, which was odd because I thought that I had been eating well, drinking the necessarily liquids and actually got a decent night’s sleep. (A rarity, the sleep anyway.) Later that morning I went to get my hair done. While sitting in the chair, my stylist kept yawning and was noticeably tired. She complained of feeling fatigued and feeling out of it that day and thought that she might be coming down with something. After leaving the beauty shop and grabbing some lunch I felt totally fine.

Back in the fall of, or the latter half of 2015, I remember getting such an urge to stock pile bottled water, that it wasn’t even funny. We had the usual cases in the garage and periodically I kept adding to more and more cases in our front hall closet. It was to the point that my husband would make snide comments about it and I even had a friend and another time a relative give me a weird look when I opened up the hall closet door and they saw the inventory of water we had. (Again, insert snide comment towards me here.) It took me a while to put the pieces of this together, but what I think really happened with this situation was, (or what feelings I was feeling) were, well, Flint Michigan and their water crisis.

Now there are times when I don’t find this gift to be as exhausting and actually helpful in a sense. For example, one day my mouth kept hurting on a specific side. I noticed it again a day or so after when one of my children were with me. I asked, “Does the upper, left side of your mouth hurt you today?” The response was “Yes” in a matter-of-fact way. Well, later, we realized that my child’s upper molars were popping through — On the left side!

I’ve also been able to use this gift to feel when one of my children are about to get sick, for instance I can get a severe stomach ache before anyone mentions that they feel like they are going to throw up, or I can feel my nose start to itch or feel dry on one side or the other only to have one of my children come home from school to say that they were sent down to the Nurse’s Office that day for a bloody nose. (I’ve gotten so good at this game I’ll guess which side the nose bleed happened on before I later hear about it.)

I can also have my parents over for a visit and know that my Father’s back is hurting him because, well, mine will too. This helps me to know to keep the kids from playing too rough with him.

Being an Empath is a blessing and can feel like a curse, but as I learn to live with this gift, I feel lucky to have it.

What are some of your Empathic stories??

 

I Highly Recommend this Book for Empaths!

A great tool for Empaths both new to their gift and experienced!

A few days ago I purchased the book: Whose Stuff Is This?: Finding Freedom from the Negative Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You by Yvonne Perry. I am not getting paid for my opinion here, nor was I asked for it, but I think that this book should be shared.

As an Empath, I found that this book gave me validation for what I have been going through. It helped me to recognize my empathy overload, as well as to point out the unseen things (thoughts emotions, illnesses, hunches and even mental pictures) that I deal with daily.

I about fell over when I got to page 26. Page 26 is where Chapter 2 starts. This was my experience exactly! As if I wrote this part of the book, (Which I didn’t, lol!) From Urgent Care facilities, to ambulances, to specialists’ offices!

“What’s wrong with me doc?”……book

“I can’t find anything wrong with you!…

….It must be Anxiety! (I hate that word!)

….It must be Allergies!!! (Thanks, I’ve been tested for everything!!)

And on page 28, the panic attack in Wal-mart! (Mine was actually at a Hobby Lobby Store!)

I still have issues dealing with my Empath abilities, but this book has helped me to learn to filter out other people’s emotions, and to try to manage my own energy better. I seriously have a chunk of the book’s text underlined and post-it notes stuck throughout it so that I can go back to it time and time again for reference.

Again, I was not asked by anyone to share this book and I was not paid for my option of it. It is a tool that worked for me and perhaps it will help other Empaths as well!