Spirit said, “Watch and Observe!”

I witnessed something last week that reminded me that if we listen to our inner voice (Spirit, or Higher Self), and if we pay attention to the signs around us, we can use both as hints on the road map of life here in the physical world.

Before I dive into this story, I want to remind you that the stories and topics that I share here in my blog and in my other writings, are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I do my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you. In the case of this story, I do need to provide a few extra details about the subjects in order for you to understand the story, as I have lived it.

One of my children is involved with a local spots organization and as a whole it is a great organization to belong to, but just like anything else, it takes only a few bad (toxic) apples to spoil the bunch. Recently, there has been a family in our organization who has caused headaches for the coaching staff, spread negativity and proved their dishonestly over and over again, at least through my intuitive, empathic eyes. (I discuss how you can protect your own energy from toxic people in my Coffee Conversation and Transformation blog in this post.) At times, I also question if I am the only one seeing this crap, being too sensitive, or if others notice and pick up on it as well. And if they are noticing, are they okay with it? Do they agree with it? Do they see nothing wrong with it?

Time and time again I do second guess the information that I receive through my gifts. (I don’t actively read people I come in contact with, but I do tend to receive information on people who irritate my spirit. Those who irritate my spirit actually teach me something. Sometimes about myself, sometimes on how to translate different energies that I feel, sometimes to show me how far I have come along on my path. Other times “irritation” comes over me because it is a nudge to deliver a message to someone.) In this case, as recently as last week, I was starting to question my own thoughts towards the family that I describe as toxic. I was wondering if maybe I am too over sensitive and that these people really aren’t that bad? Maybe I’m just a b*tch and I am the crazy one here and everyone else is okay with their behavior?? As I am thinking this, I am in my car and pull up to a stop light. As I am sitting there, I hear, “watch and observe.” I took the message as watch and observe everyone around me, and not anybody in particular

As the week went on, I kept seeing similar vehicles around town just like what the family I have been second guessing myself on drives. Not just once or twice, but many, many times. It was never their vehicle or them in it, but a similar make, model and color. Towards the end of the week, it was almost comical how many vehicles I saw that matched theirs. This has happened to me before, when I see signs and symbols and a person pops into my head. I have learned to simply send love and light or to say a prayer for that person to give them whatever they need at that moment. A few times when I saw the similar vehicles, I DID send love and light to the family. We never know what battles people are dealing with behind closed doors.

I showed up to the next sporting event still wondering if I am wrong for what I think, feel and sense about these people. Before things got started, the mother chatted with a group of us and the conversation is light and airy. Again, I started to think, “Maybe I’m just crazy?” Maybe I am the one with the issue and is she really is not that bad? Maybe I am being too judge-y? But then I did notice that when I tried to engage in conversation, I found myself shutting down and not able to contribute to the conversation or make any eye contact. I also noticed that my body was always turned sideways away from the mother and the rest of the (extended) family. (As a reminder, Empaths shut down around inauthentic people.)

We made it through the game that day. The next day we sat through another game. The family was socially quieter and more to themselves, though the mother didn’t have any issues telling our coaches that they were in the wrong when it came to how they instructed her child on the field that day. I continued to be my usual self at the games and chatted as I normally did with those around me. I did find myself watching and observing more, but nothing earth shattering to make rhyme or reason out of took place.

By the third and final day, I had sort of forgotten about the whole “watch and observe” message. Two games took place back to back. After each game an MVP award was awarded to a player on each team. While in some cases it is an honor to get an MVP award because the child who is awarded it truly DID go above and beyond to help his team out, overall the MVP award is a joke and a money maker for an outside company whose goal is to gather a solicitation list of kids and their families together to go, play and spend a lot of money at Disney. What I’m trying to say is that the award doesn’t necessarily hold much water, but it can be a proud moment for a player and their family. Because two games were played that day, two awards were given out – each time to a kid who wasn’t related to the family that I have had in question. And nobody else on the sidelines around me questioned who was picked.

After the second award was given out, the family didn’t hide their dismay. Their body language showed it. You heard them grumbling, and myself, being energy sensitive, felt the discontent and anger from them come over me like a tidal wave.

parents youth sportsOne relative, in a loud and angry tone, (in front of other parents and players) went up to our head coach to voice her dismay that the child related to her didn’t win the MVP award when he should have. She claimed that we only won because of that specific child. (Mind you the kid did a better job in the first game and this is after the second game.) The mother also chimed in during the confrontation. The first relative continued to throw down more anger at the coach and then walked away, but he called her back to finish the conversation that she started. The rest of the family/extended family just stood off to the side staring at the confrontation. No attempt to pull their people back or to talk them off of the ledge. As everyone waited around and gathered their belongings, the team and parents were grouped all together in one cluster, and these other people were off in a corner, arms crossed and pissed off faces, all by themselves.

It took me a day or so to process all that had taken place. I watched and observed and the truth came out from the question that had been weighing on my mind. Not just for me to see, but for multiple people around me to see as well.

Some time had passed until we had another game. (A cooling off period was probably a good idea.) This family, as well as their extended family, showed up to the next game like nothing ever happened. (Personally, I feel that one’s apology should be as LOUD as one’s disrespect. And in this case, the apology needed to go to the organization as a whole since so many people where witness to the confrontation.)

I share this experience with you to remind you to watch for the signs and symbols that are around you. Look for patterns. Look for things that keep crossing your path. Also, we all have that little voice in our head that offers us advice — if we choose to listen to it. I say, listen to it. That voice doesn’t lie. And if you have something weighing on your mind, ask Spirit to show you an answer or to give you clarity. If you are paying attention, you will get an answer by observing what you hear and see.

April 15th – Tax Day and a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis

After my faux heart attack back in November numerous tests were run through my Primary Care Physician and at my request I had testing done through a cardiologist as well. (My stress test was done nearly 5 years to the week of my previous one.) My Primary Physician didn’t think that I needed to bother with seeing a Cardiologist, but her hit ratio with diagnosing me in the past had been subpar. (I always think about changing doctors, but then I go long periods without having any issues. During those quiet times I should be forming a relationship with another physician, but then life gets in the way and finding a new Primary Care Physician gets pushed to the bottom of the list. )

During one of my follow up visits with my Primary Care Physician, she suggested that I go and see a Rheumatologist to look into the possibility of me having Fibromyalgia. Naturally, I didn’t care for the one that she suggested so I asked around and found another one who I had a reference on.

Per the Mayo Clinic, Fibromyalgia is: a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.

Symptoms

Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

  • Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
  • Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
  • Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as “fibro fog” impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.

Fibromyalgia often co-exists with other painful conditions, such as:

  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Migraine and other types of headaches
  • Interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome
  • Temporomandibular joint disorders

fibro1I will admit, when I have researched Fibromyalgia online, I do check many of the boxes, but I also know that my thoughts are my reality so I keep mentally not owning the possibility of such a diagnosis. For me, I feel like a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis would be a death sentence. Many of the symptoms ALSO overlap with those that have to do with the Awakening Process. In my opinion, Fibromyalgia is a “bucket” that people are put in when doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with them.

Over the last few years, I have learned of more and more people that I know being diagnosed with Fibro. Many of them are Lightworkers, Empaths, Energy Workers, and most have some sort of psychic ability.  (I have a hunch that Fibromyagia may have to do some people’s rise in frequency and vibratory level, but we can discuss that another time.) Previous to those people having it, my experience with knowing others who have had the disease was a direct correlation to their own poor lifestyle choices. (The type of lifestyle choices that could be picked out a mile away.) And though many will tell you it is not a curable disease, I will tell you that I know a gal who was once diagnosed with Fibro but now doesn’t carry ANY of the symptoms of it.

I have also read many reasons/causes for Fibro including. Per WebMD, causes of Fibro can include from:

  • Genes. Fibromyalgia seems to run in families. Your parents may pass on genes that make you more sensitive to pain. Other genes can also make you more likely to feel anxious or depressed, which makes pain worse.
  • Other diseases. A painful disease like arthritis or an infection raises your chances of getting fibromyalgia.
  • Emotional or physical abuse. Children who are abused are more likely to have the condition when they grow up. This may happen because abuse changes the way the brain handles pain and stress.
  • Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some people have this mental health problem after a terrible event, like war, a car crash, or rape. These events are also linked to fibromyalgia in some people.
  • Gender. The condition is much more common in women than men. Doctors think this could be related to differences in the way men and women feel and react to pain, as well as how society expects them to respond to pain.
  • Anxiety and depression. These and other mood disorders seem linked to fibromyalgia, though there’s no proof that they actually cause the condition.
  • Not moving enough. The condition is much more common in people who aren’t physically active. Exercise is one of the best treatments for fibromyalgia you already have. It can help turn the pain volume down.

From a Holistic Health Standpoint, I found this information from a site called: Heavenly Earth Projects. (There was too much good information not to share.)

From the Conventional Medical perspective, fibromyalgia and cancer are unrelated, yet from the soul perspective, they are both caused by old soul trauma and disconnection.  From the Holistic Health perspective, the spiritual cause of this condition is a deep weariness of the soul.   The individual has lived many, many past lives which have been physically, mentally and emotionally demanding.  The effects of these negative vibrations are carried through in the DNA, and stored as toxins in the cellular memory of the body.

Toxins in the physical body cells are also a contributing factor in many cases.  Mercury fillings, heavy metals, processed foods, chemicals/pesticides and so on.  Detoxification of the physical body is important, and is also initiated with a Forensic Healing session.

Common Past Life experiences:

  • adventure, exploration, war, physical endurance in extreme conditions
  • pushing beyond normal limits, even through pain
  • self sacrifice of body and mind, to achieve goals and avoid emotional self
  • experienced severe woundings, torture, because of intuitive/healing abilities

These past life experiences can also result in other types of dis-ease, however, my understanding is that fibromyalgia is triggered by unresolved emotional issues relating to family, and can also be carried in the ancestral DNA.  Though it is not hereditary, it can ‘cluster’ within families.

Common behaviours of a person with Fibromyalgia

  • helpful, responsible people who hurt themselves in their eagerness to please others, particularly family, and are not able to express how they feel
  • busy, tense, driven, stressed
  • lack proper boundaries
  • don’t balance activity with rest
  • doormat for others
  • less tolerance/patience for others, and holds this inside, causing inner pain.  This resistance affects the nervous system, causing sleep disorders and pain
  • lack of life force energy
  • pain is used to avoid addressing emotional issues (the pain is actually the indicator of unresolved emotional issues)
  • the immobilisation of the body also helps the person avoid the natural expression of emotional energy via movement.
  • psychological pain is stored in the muscles.  Anger, fear, guilt are all stored in the body.  There is a deep desire for change but an inner resistance to making it, due to fear, resulting from past life experience.
  • back pain indicates something out of reach, and out of sight.  These are emotions or issues that we are not ready to face.
  • obligated to others, leaving little time for self
  • feel loyal to family but there is conflict in the relationships – you feel trapped, hurt or helpless in the situation.  You want to walk away but feel obligated to family member.
  • you need some emotional nurturing.  You nurture the emotions of others, to the exclusion of your own.

And Per Louise Hay: When a person is under stress, the body reacts and tenses. Stiffness and pain is felt in the fibrous tissues, usually deep within the muscles yet there is nothing wrong with the muscles themselves. Stiffness is a result of rigid and stiff thinking. Tension, fear and holding on result in the body cramping and gripping. Affirm: I move easily and comfortably. My feet dance through life!

paint.jpgWell, today is April 15, Tax Day here in the United States. I had a long-awaited appointment (it took nearly 3 months to get) with a rheumatologist. My appointment was the first one of the day at 8am.

I went through a brief description of my health history, including the mysterious symptoms (some I now know to be metaphysically related but no need to mention that to a doctor who specializes in Western Medicine.) She did an exam and supposedly had my blood work from my Primary Care Physician. She asked me a ton of questions, which I appreciated as many doctors these days don’t seem to have the time to get to know you or your heath situation.

She then told me “I am giving you a Fibro diagnosis. You have Fibro but no autoimmune disease at this time. By me giving you a diagnosis, you don’t need to keep going back for further testing. Testing that would could lead to things like more radiation or even lead to finding something that in your body that ‘God gave you’ that isn’t causing you any harm, but others may say that it is a concern or need to be taken out. No medication is needed at this time. Yoga and Talk Therapy will help you.”

These words didn’t hit me until she left the room – was she doing me a favor by ending this train ride?? I know that I have some internal work and healing to do. I’ve always felt the push to do yoga and honestly, the Talk Therapy makes sense as I have not shared my symptoms, spiritual gifts and metaphysical experiences from many.

Did she on some level know that more testing would lead to something that didn’t need to happen? A surgery? A treatment? (The drugs necessary for treating Fibro would be a cocktail of a few different drugs, per her and my conversation I am already medically sensitive to medicines. I can’t imagine being on those that we’d have to fish around trying to find a correct dose for.) So did she do me a favor with a diagnosis that I was trying to avoid? (I’m going with “yes” on this.)

Right now I am just processing the idea that I have this diagnosis. I am still trying to “not own it.” I also think that there is something more “bigger picture” when it comes to Lightworkers and those of us with gifts.  We’ll see what happens. Stay tuned.

Another Mysterious Health Symptom – Food Allergy or another Affinity to My Awakening Process?

I’ve had a slew of medical and mysterious health “symptoms” along my awakening process. I have learned that some of my symptoms have had to do with changes in my body, changes in my energy, or changes in the energy in the solar system or on the planet. I’ve learned that some of my symptoms and even anxiety can have to do with emotions or experiences working themselves to the surface. I have also learned that the “symptoms” can be a nudge from my body when I am venturing off my path or purpose, trying to get me to where I need to be.

I will go long time periods without having any issues and then Boom! Something happens and some medical mystery pops up which is followed by panic, a lot of Google searching, and a slew of doctor visits and tests that lead to, well, nothing that Western Medicine can figure out. In the past, I’ve had medical mysteries last weeks and even months and then disappear.

Today’s Mystery:

This morning was a morning like any other. Before taking the kids to the bus stop, I had my usual coffee and decided to have a banana. Nothing out of the ordinary. I drove to the bus stop (It’s below zero out today).

Before the bus even arrived, it started. My mouth and tongue started to tingle and my lips started to feel funny. My mind automatically goes off the deep end thinking that my throat is closing up. I looked in the mirror to see if there was any swelling. So far, there wasn’t. In the mists of the panic, I couldn’t tell if my throat was closing up or not, or if I was experiencing anxiety. (In these situation, I’ve learned to try to take a moment and evaluate the situation to see if it is really an emergency or anxiety.) I tend to carry a bottle in of water in the car with me (and even Benadryl in my wallet) at all times. I took a few sips of water to make sure that I could swallow. I could. I held off on the Benadryl for now. I hate taking it because then my day is shot by being so tired. I swear that it also wreaks havoc on my thyroid and adrenal glands and messes with my emotions, too.

I called my neighbor to see if she was home. My thought was that maybe if went to her house and chatted for a bit, I’d get my mind off of things and start feeling better. I got her voicemail immediately. I then texted her to see if she was home this morning – she didn’t text back immediately. I didn’t feel that I needed the ER so I circled back to my house. I popped a half of a Benadryl (in the event this was some sort of an allergic reaction) and then I attempted to meditate to try to settle my anxiety.

My neighbor called me back and offered to take me to the doctor or if she could help with anything. We chatted about the things we have been up to later so that helped to calm me as well. She offered to check in on me again later.

Of course the Benadryl, even though I only took half a dose, makes me a feel like I’m walking around in a fog. I tried to work on some journal entries and get some house stuff done. I noticed that my mouth still didn’t feel quite right – like I scraped my tongue on something hard or burnt it. I then noticed that my mouth, lips and even my lower half of my face felt like it was having muscle spasms. (My teeth and gums have been feeling sensitive lately, but I have blamed that on being out of my good toothpaste and using my husband’s instead.)

To make matters more anxious and stressful, my husband is out of town traveling. That adds stress to situations like this because I worry that if I do have a medical situation or end up in the ER, how will the kids be handled once they are home after school or if something happens in the middle of the night.

I had similar sensations to what I had today, once before, like 6 years ago. My tongue had a burning sensation to it for a few days. (I blamed some spicy meal we had at first, but then it lasted for a few days.) My throat felt like it was going to close up, but back then, I didn’t recognize the anxiety. Western medical doctors told me that my sensations might have to do with acid reflux and to take an over the counter 24-antacid and to follow up with an allergist. The allergist couldn’t come up with concrete findings in her allergy testing, besides the fact that I had seasonal allergies and suggested that I take a 24-hr allergy medicine and suggested that I could take up to 2 in a 24/hr period. She also suggested that I carry Benadryl and an EpiPen, but again, no concrete answers on what I was allergic to enough to cause the sensations that I was experiencing.

Further along in my morning, I asked that “if the face and mouth symptoms are not for me, to please put them back in their proper space and time.” (A little Empath trick that I learned to do when trying to determine if the symptoms that I have picked up for really mine or not.) Well, after asking, I still had the symptoms, though they subsided a bit.

As I write this, my ears are buzzing like crazy, (and the face/mouth) has subsided. I also have a tingling in my head. I get the buzzing when Spirit is trying to get my attention. The buzzing is hard for me to tune in to because I do feel so short circuited after the anxiety kicked in. However by having the symptoms changed after I asked (free will) I am calmer in the fact that perhaps this isn’t a medical situation as much as a Spirit situation. I also feel my hands and feet pulsating.

I happened to be in contact with my acupuncturist today, as well as one of my mentors. Some of the reasons that I may be experiencing these symptoms could be:

 – I reached out to a mentor of mine. She did suggest that I could be sensitive to the banana (which I haven’t noticed before, but with my every-changing sensitives, you never know). She suggested that I make sure that I wash my fruits and veggies well.

– She also reminded me that we become more sensitive as we awakening more and become more intuitive. (Something I’ve told others, but forget to remind myself.)

 – The metaphysical emotional meaning as to what I am experiencing with my mouth/lips/tongue: Not speaking truth, sexual shame, not feeling supported to speak up. Not feeling valued. (Time to look for parallels.)

 – Teeth symptoms: Pondering over new information or solutions and pondering new ideas. (Which I have been.)

 – I asked my Acupuncturist what my symptoms could mean in Chinese Medicine. She suggested that it could be “Wind.” (Wind is one of the six external factors of disease – six Qi or six Yin/Six Excesses – that can attack the body, enter the meridians, and cause external diseases.) She said that Wind can cause spasms, coughing, sneezing and itching.

 – I read that the twitching symptoms could have to do with claircognizance “downloads.” These meaning that these downloads are like software or app upgrades on computer devices, except they are happening to a person.

changes aheadFor all that happened today, my day has seemed to fly by. It looks like I have some internal reflecting to do.

I am sharing this experience to help anyone else who is experiencing mysterious ailments and symptoms to not feel alone.  You’re not alone! And you’re not crazy!! You’re just going through an awakening!!

Intuition, [Social] Media and Law Enforcement

This post is not meant to be insensitive to real acts of discrimination and homophobia, nor is it intended to downplay the dangers that our first responders face every day, but rather to discuss how those with strong intuitive or emapthic abilities struggle with what plays out in the media, as I bring up two different stories that had far different outcomes than what the media (and even social media) first suggested happened, in this particular post.

Smollett+caseToday day I woke up to the headlines that read: Police: Two brothers told investigators they were paid by Jussie Smollett to stage attack. I will tell you that from the get-go, that this case, as it was stated in the media, never felt right to me.  From the first time I heard about Jussie Smollett’s attack (Smollett, who is black and gay, said he was attacked while walking home through Chicago’s Streeterville neighborhood. He told police masked men tied a noose around his neck, poured bleach on him and yelled the slurs at him.) Something felt very off or inauthentic about this story to me. Better yet, I felt that the story or incident was fake. I of course kept these thoughts to myself as the world we are living in today IS full of discriminative and homophobic acts. These things really do happen.  Because these alleged incidents happened to an actor, they took center stage in the media.

meganWithin moments of the story breaking and in the days to come, outpouring from stars and social media were made known and publicized. Each time I heard or saw someone showing their support or making a statement on behalf of what Smollett alleged happened to him, I honestly felt a kick in my gut. I kept thinking that this doesn’t feel right. It has been fabricated. The statements made by his family felt off, too. It got to the point that I found myself trying to avoid the story – turning the channel, swiping faster through a newsfeed, or changing the radio station. It was as if I was shutting down around the story whenever it came up.

This sort of thing – thinking that a story in a community, or in the media just isn’t feeling right – I have experienced before. One of the really memorable times was when I first started to realize that I myself was an empath and that I had strong intuitive abilities.

joeThe story that I am referring to is the death of Lt. Charles Joseph “Joe” Gliniewicz of the Fox Lake, Illinois Police Department that happened back in 2015. I live in the Midwest so this story was front and center from the moment it happened. The media started to paint a picture of a heroic man who had 30 years on his force, who was an Army Veteran and who was running a non-profit Explorer organization for children in the community, who was murdered while on duty. The media put him on a pedestal and gave him the nick name of “G.I. Joe.”

RIP GI JOEI noticed that people, even those who never knew him started to change their social media profile pictures to show their support for him, re-posting different images and news stories showing support for “G.I. Joe” and wanting justice for those who were responsible his death. There were reports of numerous people donating large sums of money to find the people who supposedly killed him. I remember that it didn’t feel right to me but I didn’t think much of it. The story was hard to get away from as it was everywhere.

In the days and weeks that followed, I kept getting different tidbits that would pop into my head. Things like “this case has to do with a woman.” Things like “money had something to do with this.” And thoughts like “this guy really isn’t a hero.”

Well, low and behold, as time when on, I later discovered that my “thoughts” WERE my intuition and that my intuition was correct. You can goggle the story for more details but basically Mr. Gliniewicz was using non-profit funds for his own use and was raising a red flag with a female who was now accusing him of such and it was later determined that he committed suicide as an end result of the extensive criminal acts he had been committing.

Everyone has intuition, some of us just have stronger abilities than others. Just like some of us are more athletic than others, a better cook or a better artist or musician than others… you get the idea. And an Empath trait is to “shut down” or find themselves avoiding unauthentic people.  I guess you can say that I shut down when I hear certain news stories or see things on social media.

Both the media and social media get to me more challenging for me to be around. Both make my blood boil as both can assist in making things something they are not. Intuitive abilities aside, I personally wish that the media would stop trying to entertain us and play on our emotions and just state facts when they report on a new story. When did the media decide to make “characters” (good or bad) out of the subjects in the news?  When did other people’s social media posts and photos on social media become statements that are used on the news to help spin a story?

Though it doesn’t happen all of the time, but really it DOES happen too much, I wish that law enforcement would not release so much information so that the media didn’t have so much information to play up for entertainment purposes and that people sitting behind their phones or screens could forward/repost stories in which all of the facts aren’t figured out yet.

I also wish that the general public would not be so quick to cling on to the media’s every word or to everything that they see in their social media newsfeeds and wait for the facts to come out.

For myself, I wish that I would not question the information that my intuition gives me the first time that I receive it. I also wish that I didn’t feel the need to have my information validated in order to feel comfortable sharing it.

 

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

When Parenting and Empath Abilities Collide

Empaths absorb the energy and symptoms of others. When we absorb ailments of others, we take them on as if they are our own. When we take on ailments, we can heal the other person.

mother daughterYesterday my youngest walked in the door from school with what looked to be a dark red patch on her face. Upon further investigation it looked like a rash or a bug bite of some sort. (Never mind we are in the middle of winter here in the Midwest.) She has extremely sensitive skin so I first went through a list of questions asking what she might have put on her face to cause this – lotions, hand sanitizers or soaps at school, etc. She said that it itched and hurt. I tried to figure out when during the day this happened. According to her, it started early in the school day.

We took the necessary steps to ease her symptoms. Within moments of giving her face attention I started to itch around my face and shoulders. I even noticed some hives starting on me. This of course alerted me to ask my daughter if she was itching or bothered in other places and she said “No.”

Itching and hives on ME tend to put me I a bit of an anxious spiral as a person who has had many an unexplained allergic reaction of my own along my awakening process. I used to carry Benadryl and epi pens with me everywhere I went. (At the begging of my awakening process I was popping Benadryl like it was candy, as I was always itching and my throat regularly felt like it was ready to close up.)

When I take on symptoms from others (sometimes I know whose symptoms I have taken on and other times it can be a complete stranger like someone out in a public place or in my neighborhood or somebody’s energy that I am tapping into) my first instinct is to protect myself (so that I don’t absorb what is not mine) and then to send it back to its rightful owner and to put it back in its proper space and time.  (I know that this “wording” may sound crazy to some, but the putting back of the ailments of not mine has been a big help to me.)

When it is your child who is suffering from something you want to do all that you can to make them better. Though my first instinct was to protect myself (“Hello! Anxiety and panic!” as I get worried about allergic reactions for me) but then “Mommy Mode” kicked in and I allowed myself to keep absorbing my daughter’s ailments. (I did ask my angels and guides to help me to not have a medical emergency myself.)

Motherhood and my abilities seems to collide from time to time. I try to do my best and droll with things to the best of my abilities and to thank the Universe along the way.

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Mysterious Health Symptoms. Are they Mine?

Time and time again throughout my so-called “Awakening Journey” I have struggled with knowing what health symptoms (and even emotions) are my own, or someone else’s.

As I have discussed in previous posts, I am an Emapth. An Empath has the ability to feel the thoughts, emotions, and energy of others. This can include physical symptoms as well.

The other day, I was on my way to visit a mentor of mine and out of nowhere, as I was driving, my left knee started to hurt. I felt a sharp pain and it was very noticeable. Though knee problems tend to run in my family, my knees have not been bothering me as of recently. With that said, every time I have or feel an ailment that comes on out of nowhere, my mind starts to spiral out of control….

“Is it a blood clot…”

“Wait… am I dehydrated? Maybe it is my lower leg that is hurting and not my knee…?”

“What if I can’t walk on my leg when I get where I am going…?”

“What if both of my knees start to hurt and it gets so bad that I have to pull over because I can’t drive…?”

You may be chuckling to yourself as you read the above thoughts that were racing through my head, but this is a glimpse into my world. I’ve had so many random ailments over the past few years that I go from 0 to 100 and then anxiety will come running in.

I tried to reason with myself that I would be seeing Erin soon and that she’d either help me with the pain or have a reason as to why I was in pain. (Erin specializes in Reiki, Energy Work and CranioSacral work and has been a wonderful mentor to me though out my awakening process.)

When I get to Erin’s office, she asks me what I’d like to do today, or what aliments I needed to fix. I explained to her that I have been feeling fine as of late, with the exception of my knee that started to hurt really bad on the way over. I did joke that maybe the pain isn’t mine, but I was sort of dismissing my comment.

Erin paused for a moment and said, “Nope. It isn’t your knee, it is someone else’s.” I was relieved to hear this, but I told her that I struggle with what is mine and what isn’t and how it puts me into panic mode sometimes.

Erin gave me a great tip that I have used ever since my visit with her. When I get an ailment, a pain, an emotion or a strange feeling that comes over me out of nowhere, she suggested that I ask if “Is this mine?” And if it isn’t mine that I should ask that it be put back in its proper space and time. Erin explained that if it was someone else’s ailment that I picked up, the ailment would go away. If it really is mine, well, then it would stay with me. So in the instance if the knee, I would say something like: “Is this pain in my knee mine? If it is not, please put it back in its proper space and time. Thank you.”

sickEver since learning this little tip, it has helped me tremendously. I do find that sometimes I need to ask more than once if the “ailment” is mine or not. By nature, I am a bit impatient and when things don’t go away in a split second I do find myself asking again. More times than not, I am freed of whatever is bothering me. There have also been times, when what I was feeling was really mine. For instance a few days after seeing Erin I didn’t feel very well. I asked that if my body aches where mine or not and went through the ritual of asking everything to be put back if it wasn’t mine. Well low and behold I did have a touch of the flu and no matter how many times I asked that the symptoms leave if they are not mine, they stayed until I was well again.

So the next time you aren’t sure if what you are feeling is really you or not, try asking if it is yours or not. And then ask that it be put back in it proper place and time. Be sure to say “Thank you” at the end of your ask. 😉

When you are Reflecting Back What People Don’t Like about Themselves, Seeing Two Deceased Fathers in a Room, and at the End of the Day You Know that the Pot-Stirrer is really stirring the Pot Because She Needs Attention: It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding!

Vibrating higher - NaysayersI recently attended my first family wedding since I became aware that I was going through a Spiritual Awakening Process – the process in which my metaphysical gifts have grown stronger. The only other large event that has taken place since my gifts have gotten stronger was a Memorial Service for a relative. You can read about it here:  https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As amazed as I was by people’s behavior towards me that evening, I was more stunned by the idea that I already knew that people would be treating me the way they did. I think on some level I thought that I could get through to certain individuals and break down walls and start the family healing that I believe is falling on my shoulders. I talk about that toward the end of a previous blog post. You can read that here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/17/we-are-just-here-to-celebrate-a-wedding-and-that-is-it/

I will happily add that I started to lose some weight a week or so before the wedding and to this day, it is still falling off with really no effort or intention on my part. It is as though my “layer of protection” that I have packed on (you can read about here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/ive-heard-of-the-freshman-fifteen-but-nobody-mentioned-the-awakening-15-to-me/ ) started to melt away as I got confident in myself, the angel messages that I had received and what I had to deal with at this wedding. The weight has continued to come off after as I replay in my head what I observed in people that evening. I have also been more honest with telling some people around me about my gifts, which I believe has assisted in dropping the weight as well.

So, about the wedding… (Which was really beige and not white, by the way.)

While getting ready for the wedding, I had some down time and I used that time to center myself, go over what I needed to do (radiate my light and spread love to those around me. This is the message that I got from my Guides a few weeks back.) I talked to my “spiritual team” (Guides and Angels) and even performed some Reiki on myself. I

Pyrite rose gold
My handbag, Rose Quartz and Pyrite.

knew that my grandmother, (my father’s mother) would be walking along side of me that evening. I’ve known it for months.  I was as ready as I was going to be. I was calm and relaxed and ready for whatever was going to come my way. I threw some crystals in my purse. I took rose quarts and pyrite. (Rose quartz is the stone of the heart, a crystal of unconditional love that carries a soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort. Pyrite is a protector of negative energy as well as a stone that give a confidence boost.) I performed my usual energy protection rituals and then we were off. There was a shuttle bus that could have taken us to the wedding venue, but we chose to drive by ourselves.

My husband and I arrived at the chapel prior to my parents and sister. We grabbed a seat and saved room for others to join us as the seats were filling up fast. We had a row further back. I was in the corner but felt it was a comfortable space where I could observe from. We got a wave from some members of my Uncle’s side of the family toward the front row, but no body offered for us to move up, which was fine, we don’t feel we are the first tier of people to be up in front anyway.

While waiting, I saw my cousin Ann*, my second cousin Lynn* and her mother, Auntie J.* walk in.

Beautiful-form-of-communication.-640x640My husband was standing in the aisle while I was sitting in the pew. Lynn walked by and gave my husband a quick hug and tried to scoot by with just a  wave and a hello to me, but I got up and greeted her with a hug. Then I see her mother, Auntie J.  I went up to her and she let me hug her, but then I go to kiss her on the cheek and she turned away. I noticed what has happened but carry on without missing a beat. As that was taking place, my cousin Ann said a side-ways “hello” more to my husband, than to me, and tried to walk behind everyone and avoid me. I moved closer to her and hugged her and said, “It’s great to see you.” She murmured the same back and walked to the front of the church where my uncle’s side of the family was seated. I can honestly say that I treated each lady with love and respect from the get-go that evening.

Next my parents arrived. They squeezed in and my mother asked where my sister is. She walks in (she arrived with the first three gals, but stopped off at the ladies room) and my mother called for her to sit by us. I gave her a hug as she sat down near my mother and me. I could tell that she was irritated that she had to sit by me and my parents, as she would have preferred to sit up front with the cousins, but let’s be honest, your parents come first. At one point my cousin Ann motions to my sister that there is room where they are sitting up front, but then my mom chimed in and asked if there was room for all of us, and that ended that. You could see my sister’s disgust in her body language as she realized that she was “stuck” with us for the ceremony.

As the ceremony is ready to get started, I saw my Uncle, the father of the groom, and we make eye contact. I give both him and the groom’s brother a hello as they pass by and see me.  They weren’t sure what to make of my “hello” but wave back.

Before and during the ceremony, no matter what I would say to my sister to attempt to make conversation, she would say the opposite. I would say left, she’d say right, I’d mention up, she’d say down.  No matter what I tried to do to get anywhere with her, I couldn’t so I took a break from trying until later in the evening.

The ceremony was very nontraditional and had more of a “comedy” theme to it. Others seemed to relate to the inside jokes that were said and the tone of the ceremony. Though it was a nice ceremony I didn’t connect with it, but I reminded myself that I didn’t relate to many of the people who were in the chapel and vice versa, they didn’t understand me in the least bit, but all of that was OK. We were there to celebrate the marriage of a bride and groom who were starting their life out together. It didn’t matter what the rest of us thought. It was their day. The day was how THEY want it to be. Outside opinions didn’t matter.

Once the ceremony concluded, we stepped outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out of the chapel. My parents, husband and I greeted my Aunt and Uncle (the mother and father of the groom). All four of us exchanged hugs and handshakes are exchanged and we are told “Thank you for coming.” My initial thought was, “Great! Everyone is acting cordial.”

While waiting for the couple to come out, I saw my Uncle’s sister-in-law. We’ll call her “Pat*”. Pat had a really cute dress and flats on and I complimented her on her dress and shoes. She commented back, referring to the wedges that I was wearing, about how she followed the rules on the wedding invite and wore flats as suggested, to the outdoor venue. Her comment seemed a bit icy, but I believed the comment had more to do with her, wishing she didn’t wear the flats, than with me.

On the way to the tented reception, I stopped off to the ladies room. There I made small talk with strangers who were in there. I am one who normally will make small talk with strangers and offer a smile or lift them up with a compliment. As I looked in the mirror, I could see (and feel) that I was still vibrating high.

On my way out of the ladies room, my sister and cousin Ann walk past my husband not acknowledging him until they saw me and then they said something. I let it go and made some light-hearted comment back and we headed toward the reception tent.

Once in the tent, we got our table assignments. My husband (the only male who would be at our table) and I were going to be seated with my sister, Ann, Lynn and Auntie J. My parents were seated at a different table. I could see the disappointment on my husband and father’s faces that they weren’t going to get to sit together. I could also sense my mother’s dismay as well.  I decided that we weren’t going to sit down quite yet and visit around the room first, but I also made sure that we acknowledge those who were at our table prior to sitting down. My husband and I took the long way toward our table and stopped at the bar first. I filled him in on what I had seen/sensed from other’s actions towards me at the church. To a certain degree he doesn’t see or understand fully what I see and feel as he is not an Intuitive Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person like I am.

We stopped by the bar and I asked for a cranberry and tonic. I made a point to not drink alcohol about 5 days before the wedding, as well as to not drink at the wedding for two reasons: Alcohol can block the flow of spiritual gifts. (Five days might not sound like much to some, but I feel like almost every day an excuse pops up to have a drink – a glass of wine on the patio, a drink out with the girls, a cocktail after the kids are in bed, etc.) Also, coming from a family tree of heavy drinkers, I decided that I didn’t need anyone accusing me of acting a “certain way” because maybe I had too much to drink.

On the way to the bar I saw a man’s face that seemed to transform into Lynn’s father’s face, who had passed. The face gave me a deep, knowing look into my eyes. I let it pass. Sort of questioning it.

While at the bar, Pat’s husband came up and talked to me and my husband. All was fine. We just made small talk. Also while in line I see my aunt and uncle’s sister in law, Jilly*. Jilly (as well as Pat) have a history or coming up to me at family events, especially Jilly, if they are the current target of negativity, or on the outs with, well shall we say, may Aunt Marie,* the mother of the groom. In the past, when they have been short on people to “chat” with at family functions, they will chat it up with me to kill time. That wasn’t happening at this function. But when you have been the target before, you don’t want to piss off the Ring Leader, so you abide by the “rules” and follow suit. This cycle of icing somebody out has happened for generations. It happened with my Great Grandmother, my grandmother and great aunt, and with my aunt and cousins now. Jilly and I never had a problem making conversation before but while in line at the bar, I said hello, gave her a hug and complimented her on the jacket she had on. In an adverse tone, and no eye contact, she replied, “Thanks, my daughters picked it out.” And turned her back and walked away. That was that. She was done.

I made a stop at our table before I made my way over to check out the dessert table and found some cute, older gals standing by a heater to try to keep warm. (It was not quite 50 degrees out and raining.) We chatted it up a bit. I enjoyed their smiles and warm energy, no pun intended.

After viewing the dessert table, I stopped by my mother who is trying to get organized at her assigned table. Her and my father’s seats keep getting pushed down further to the end of the table as Pat was organizing who should sit where. I tried to make small talk with Pat and my mother, but Pat didn’t make eye contact with me and tried to zip a zinger comment my way to make me “feel dumb” which I was aware of. At that point, I just moved on.

Since we are lacking family photos as a whole and we were all dressed up, my mother found a nice back drop and takes some photos in front of. We called my sister over so that she could join us.  While this was taking place, I could feel the negative energy and comments from those hanging out at the table we are to be seated at in a bit.

FB_IMG_1520543985906After my mom was done with taking photos, my sister and dad start talking by the DJ’s table. I went up and tried to join in the conversation. My husband eventually joined as well. No matter what conversation starter I asked my sister, the harsh, snippy responses were thrown back in my direction. I almost asked her what was wrong, why the tone, is there something that I did? The look on the face and body language couldn’t be ignored either, but then I remembered, we were just there for a wedding. If I asked too much, I might have gotten a negative reaction and we didn’t need to make a spectacle. I just let it be. At the end of the day, I knew that her issues are her own and they have to do with the way that my parents raised us differently, under the same roof. I was raised in such a way that I became more independent and she was the one who was (and still is) always coddled and never confronted for her actions. I have also learned that she uses her body language as a way to get attention as the victim. Victims play the victim for the sake of attention.

It was finally time to sit down for dinner. As we sat down, I caught a glimpse of what looked like and reminded me of Ann’s father who had passed. I saw him look over at me and I sensed that deep knowing look.  I knew he was there. Once we sat, I sensed the awkwardness kicking in, heads were down and everyone focused on their plates. It was more than a resting bitch face for some. In some cases, it was also the shoulders slumped forward.  I decide to just take the lead and nip the awkward silence in the bud. I paid particular attention to MY own body language making sure that I was “open” to others and not closed off. I started with Ann. I ask, “Ann, how are the kids doing?” and in response to my question, I got an abrupt and angered “Fine, how are yours?” back. I saw Lynn’s eyes pop out of her head so I knew that I wasn’t playing up the dramatics of the tone that was used. Ann dialed it back a bit and asked me, “How are yours?” I kept my gentle tone consistent and explained some of my kids’ recent activities and then moved on to Lynn and asked about her son and she showed some photos from his Senior Prom.

I sat at the table with my arms open under the table and my palms facing upward. I recall during the speeches literally sending love and a bright white light to those at my table. I saw the gentleman who looked like Lynn’s father pass by again. I got the long gaze as he came by. I struggled with what to do with that, but clearly at this point in time, and after watching people’s behavior, my thoughts were that nobody was ready to accept the gifts that I have or the messages that could be delivered because they’d be coming from me. I do think that Lynn’s father popped up twice to me because her mother was also at the table. Though they were divorced when he passed, I know that there is still love and hurt there. Better yet, I think that Lynn’s son’s soul is that of her brother that passed away at birth. Again, nobody is ready to hear this.

b3780144a617e2bc4566222df14fbf26I tried to chat with my sister a few more times while we were still sitting at dinner. I asked her questions about her work, her dog, and so forth. Still, not getting very far. While at the table I couldn’t help but to notice the “looks” back and forth between Lynn and Ann throughout the evening. At times I see my sister looking at Ann and Lynn’s non-verbal communication, but I could tell that she’s not in on it. She was more the third wheel that was used when they needed a bigger team. I particularly picked up on the looks and vibes whenever my dad walked up. (My poor father kept trying to come over and talk to my husband because he had little conversation at his table and equally felt bad for my husband.)

Eventually, the bride and groom danced their first dance together. They danced to what was my deceased Aunt and Uncle’s song – Ann’s parents. When the song is over, I literally saw my aunt and uncle joined together and waving at me as the song concluded. I smiled and thanked them.

At some point my sister, Lynn and Ann go off and dance. I felt bad for Auntie J. being left alone so my husband and I stayed seated at the table. At one point, when the ladies returned to the table, I was taken aback at what I saw. I saw a gray color around them. Not so much their aura, but more like their skin, hair and bodies, it was like I saw their “toxicity.” (To me, an aura is more the outline energy field of the body and not the body itself.)

My husband and I danced to a slow song. My father grabbed Ann for the dance. I know why my father did it. Ann is a connection to my deceased Aunt for him. She was uncomfortable with it, but that had more to do with her actions than his.

After dancing, I saw my Aunt Maria sitting by herself watching the dance floor. I thought that it would be a good time to go over and try to say something to her. After all, things seemed fine when we walked out of the chapel. I bent down and told her, “Today was really nice, don’t you think?” She turned halfway, gave me a glare and replied, “Yeah, thanks.” And turned her back toward me. I bent down again, thinking I would try again, but decided to just leave it.

32452343_365986140589779_1026768973569458176_nI know that she is the pot-stirrer of this whole current family mess.  In all fairness, she grew up around similar actions. (When you know better, you do better.) I  know that she harbors a lot of anger and resentment which if not released, will turn into disease. I believe it will be bone cancer if she doesn’t break the cycle. I also known that when people stir the pot, they are doing so to put attention on them. For whatever reason THEY need attention so they try to get it by creating drama.

At that moment, I remember thinking to myself that I was thankful (for the first time in my life) for a girl who I went to school with – The Prom Queen. She was also a pot-stirrer and she was great at getting the room to turn on a person. I didn’t realize until now that the aggravation that she caused me years ago actually prepared me for moments like these.

At this point in the evening, I felt that I had only gotten as far as I was going to get with people in the room and that it was time to go. My mom gave me a strange look when I told her that my husband and I were saying our good byes and heading out. (My dad on the other hand was wishing that he could leave with us.)

I realize that my parents are trying to keep their noses clean in this family drama situation. My Aunt Maria is my father’s only living original family member left left so they don’t want to ruin that. Never mind that my father was taught his whole life to keep his head down and to avoid conflict. With that said, if people were treating my sister that evening the way that they were treating me, he would have been all over it making phone calls and having conversations behind the scenes to try to fix things on her behalf. I need to chalk it up to: My parents think that I am independent and can handle this.

Before leaving, we look for my Uncle to say “goodbye” to. I never got confirmation (yet) on the watch that my uncle was wearing at the wedding, but I have a feeling that someday in the future I will. (Refer back to my previous blog.) He was very pleasant and appreciative. A very different energy than my Aunt’s Marie’s. He put his hand on my back when we left and I felt his energy towards me – the energy of touch means more than words.

I am glad that we drove separately and didn’t take the shuttle back to the hotel. It turns out that Lynn was running her mouth on the bus ripping the ceremony and wedding apart with the bride two seats away from her. Definitely not the final words a Bride wants to end her special day on.

The next day, word gets to me that some thought that I was acting “fake” at the wedding and Ann had felt the need to reference me as “someone who flaunts their sainthood in order to find their horns.” At the end of the day I know that people’s issues are their own and their behaviors have to do with how they are really feeling about themselves. Empaths are mirrors to others. We reflect back to others what they don’t like about themselvesempaths reflect back and what they need to change or to work on. Let’s also remember that empaths don’t do fake.

If I was acting out of my normal range, my husband would have been the first to call me out on it, right then and there on it. I know in my heart that I was acting authentically.

I also realize that I vibrate higher than those I was around at the wedding. As a rule, when you vibrate higher, toxic people fall away from you. They also don’t know how to approach you. (I have learned this along my awakening journey.)

When it was time to head back home, I closed the hotel room door behind me. Before doing so, I paused for a moment. It felt symbolic. Like I was turning a page or even closing a book cover. Perhaps some family healing was put into motion the day of the wedding. Only time will tell.

*Names and some timeline order of events have been changed to protect people’s privacy.

###

The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

An Empath Can Never Have Too Much Space Between Them and Negative or Toxic People

As an Empath, it can be challenging to manage your energy, especially when you are in settings where there is a negative or toxic person or group of people. I have found that the simply moving away from the source of negativity does wonders for me.

What is a negative or toxic person you ask? Well, they tend to be people who have issues with maintaining relationships. They judge others, dwell on the past, have anger issues, they can never be wrong and tend to be brown-nosers.

These types of people like to be the center of attention even if it is negative attention. They will do anything to get you to pay attention to them and see their point of view even if they tell you lies or fib to you.  They also tend to leverage themselves into a position where people have but no choice but to pay attention to them.

Negative or toxic people tend to either stir up drama or feed off of others, and at times will even help it to manifest. They manipulate, they like to control, and they like to withhold information that can be a benefit to others. They also like to blame others for their circumstances.

Do you know anyone who fits this bill?? A relative? A co-worker? A hair-dresser? A class-mate? A stage mother? A sports parent? A drinking buddy?

It is nearly impossible to avoid negative or toxic people all together, especially at social gatherings, in the workplace, at school or church functions, or at your child’s extracurricular activities. As an empath, physical closeness can increase the absorption of a negative person’s feelings or energy. With that said, I have found it extremely effective to distance myself physically from such people. And by distancing I mean at least twenty feet or more. In cramped quarters, that isn’t always possible but in the least, it is helpful to avoid as much contact as possible with negative or toxic people. Give yourself permission to change where you are sitting, stand on a different side of the room, or take frequent breaks from the crowd if need be. Sure, it can come off looking anti-social or snobby, but I have let go of being worried about what other people think as my own energy, or how I feel physically, outweighs other people’s opinions. And really, if it is a negative person that one is trying to avoid, that person isn’t giving you a second (positive) thought anyway. Right?

Ever Since I was a Child, I get Overly Emotional at Parades

Ever since I was a child, I can recall crying at parades. My first memory of this goes back to somewhere between 7 or 8 years old. I recall standing along the curbside a few blocks from my house anticipating how much candy might be thrown my way at an annual town celebration parade.

On one particular day in the month of June, I recall it being early in the morning, maybe around 9am, the sun just to the right of me, I stood waiting for the parade to start. My parents and sister were near me, along with many familiar faces as the town I grew up in was a small, Midwestern town.

The beginning of theparade parade. like most parades, was marked with a police car and a fire truck. I recall the firetruck at the beginning of the parade, starting its siren to announce the start of the parade. A jolt of excitement ran through my body as the siren blew. Then I experienced a cycle of me smiling, eyes welling up with tears, happiness overcoming me, a sense of pride, and then…the cycle would start all over again when service men and woman would march by,  or the Shriners would zip their small cars  around the street, or a marching band would stop in its tracks and play a song for spectators.

I was never scared at parades, and it wasn’t the loud noises bringing tears to my eyes. The tears weren’t that of being frightened or even sad. I recall having the knowledge that the tears that I had in my eyes were that of “happy tears” to the best of my description at that age.

It wasn’t until a few years ago I put the pieces together and realized that there was a reason for the tears at parades. (I still find tears coming to my eyes at parades even now in adulthood.) I have learned that I am an Empath and a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Yes, that is a real term, a Highly Sensitive Person.

Empaths can “feel” and pick up on the emotions of people around them, and people who are “Highly Sensitive” are more aware of and affected by external stimuli than non-HSPs. They are often empaths and internalize everything more deeply — from social interactions to emotions to physical and visual sensations.

You can learn more about traits of an Empath here: https://themindunleashed.com/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

You can learn more about HSP traits here: https://www.ourheritageofhealth.com/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person-10-signs-you-might-have-this-inherited-trait/

Wrap all of this together and at places like parades, I am soaking up the excitement and energy from the music, the crowd around me as well as the swirl of emotions that is taking place when service men and woman and first responders walk by or an honored community member who was picked to be the grand marshal.

In recent years I have learned different techniques to shield or protect myself from the energies around me. I will say that I have NOT YET perfected protecting myself fully at large, energetic events like parades, but I am doing better.

To this day, I still cry at parades (as well as at theater play performances,  or when the Anthem is sung in front of a large crowd,  at Superbowl half time performances, and even during large firework displays.) I find the energy to be overwhelming, but in a good way.

Not Your Typical Lightworker Job

Many chimed in with jobs like Reiki Healing, Yoga Teacher, etc. I chimed in with mine:

I am a marketing consultant and event planner, which may not be your typical “healing job” but ironically at each event I assist with, or with each client I offer “business-related” assistance to, some sort of healing or divine connection takes place that can’t be ignored.

I then had a few people ask me to explain more about how I feel the healing or divine connections, so here are some examples in no particular order that I came up with.

Let me what-to-wear-to-a-client-meeting-professional-work-office-wear-attire-women-business-formal-suit-sheath-dress-fashion-style-blog-memorandum5start by saying that I don’t share publicly in my community (yet) the metaphysical side of myself, or the gifts that I possess, with too many people, so I approach many of my “regular” business meetings and events like any “normal” person would. (What is normal, LOL!) For example, I don’t walk into an event or meeting and provide people with readings or explain to them what I can do. With that said, I don’t necessarily put the “closed for business” sign up either, as daily I ask to be a conduit between the physical and spiritual world.

I recently helped to coordinate a fundraiser to raise awareness about a disease, as well as to raise money for research in the hopes of finding a cure. One of the contacts at the venue had a best friend who passed away three years ago from the same disease. (I kept getting a long “A” sound for the deceased friend and later found out that her last name had the long “A” sound to it.) The contact at the venue was instrumental in pulling a few strings for some special things for the event. She was not able to be on-site the day of event because she already committed to taking appointments that day to do hair for people who are shut in and unable to go and get their hair done. (This is important to note later, remember that she does hair on the side.) She was upset that she wasn’t able to be there, but she felt good doing things for the event prior. As if she was doing this for her friend who had passed. I could see it in her over the course of our planning meetings together.

Fast forward to the day of the event. My contact had a friend purchase some raffle tickets on her behalf, (again, she felt like she was doing this in support of her friend). Later that afternoon, she won a gift basket full of hair products. Something she could clearly use as someone who does hair on the side. And someone who doesn’t have access to getting discounted hair products. Confirmation of this was when the ticket was being drawn and her name was read. I got the tingling head thing that I get, followed by me tearing up a bit knowing what was really going on here. I truly believe that her friend had helped her win that prize from heaven. (I have seen things like this happen time and again and I call it being “gifted from heaven.”)

And if that wasn’t enough, my venue contact won again. She won the 50/50 drawing. (A 50/50 drawing is when participants buy raffle tickets for X-amount of money and the money raised is split with the winner and the event’s cause.) When she was told that she won, I could tell that she personally struggled with the idea of donating the money back to our cause, but at the end of the day, she needed it and her friend knew it. A few days later after the event, I could feel that her (my venue contact) energy was lighter.

Also at this event, every time I did a money drop, or when we counted up funds at the end of the event, I kept getting triple digit numbers somewhere within the dollar amounts – Angel numbers. This confirmation was for me, as I called in my guides and angels to assist me with the event and the numbers were confirmation for me that they were with me and working behind the scenes.

Another client of mine is a book author. She wrote about her journey after her husband’s unexpected death. I recently helped her to exhibit at her first author’s fair. (She knows about my gifts, but nobody else there was the wiser.) As we were setting up, there was a man that I kept crossing paths with. Holding doors for, making small talk with, etc. and low and behold, we go to my client’s space and find that he is right next to her! If that wasn’t enough, he authored a book about his late wife and the love letters and notes that they wrote to each other over the years. My client and the other author chatted off and on throughout the event. They kept comparing notes together about their similar grieving journeys. When my client would walk away from the table, he’d reach over and share with me parts of his personal story and I would confirm that my client went through similar thoughts, feeling and emotions. As we hit on different things you could see his face relax and sensed that he got some reassurance that he needed.

Additionally, he and my client exchanged information to meet for coffee someday. While I don’t feel that there is a love connection to be made here, I think that he is going to be an important stepping stone for my client both professionally and personally.

At this same event I took some time to check out some of the other authors in the room. There were two that I was drawn to. The first was an older gentleman who had a book that looked to have a paranormal theme to it. After first talking to him, I didn’t get much out of him and was confused why I felt the need to meet him and learn about his book series. Later, he approached me and we talked some more. He used to be a private detective and still does consulting work. (Bingo! This is why this was important!) I eventually would like to use my gifts to help with unsolved cases and missing persons cases. He and I exchanged contact information and after the event we exchanged a few emails a few days later. I came clean about my gifts to him. He told me that his books have to do with a detective who learned of his gifts while trying to solve a case. He did ask to meet up for coffee someday in the future, and though I don’t feel the need to meet up with him right now, we aren’t done yet – we will circle back to each other and I feel it may be for a case that may need some help someday.

Sometimes I learn things about me and things that help me to grow while working. Years ago when I was at a marketing event, I sat with a lady from the office that I was representing. She shared with me that she thinks she was put on this earth to give people messages. For example, she could be on a bus, and share with a complete stranger something that they needed to hear. This took place prior to (what I think was) the start of my awakening. I thought that the concept neat and she woke my mind to the idea of this. (Little did I know that I would be doing the same someday myself.) Later in the event, as we got more comfortable with each other, she dropped a big hint to me that a specific man in the office was “A really great man. A great husband and a great father.” (She laid it on thick and I felt some zinging energy at the end of the statement that she made to me. Again, this is before I understood all that I am and the gifts that I possess.) The statement, because of how it was delivered, sat with me for a moment. I felt myself going over my own actions in my head. I then realized that though she delivered that statement to me, that the message was more for HIM. (This is one of those times that you wish you had responded back in a witty way, but thought of the comeback too late. Something like: “Maybe you should remind him that he is a good husband and father.”)

And, it was my second job out of college where I befriended a co-worker who was instrumental in putting me in touch with the lady who did my very first reading. She would also share with me the signs and symbols that she would get from her mother who had passed, which helped me to expand my understanding of the other side.

One time, when I was going around town gathering raffle prizes from local businesses I had arranged a time to go and pick a gift certificate from a local business. I have done business with the owner in the past and was aware of some of her ongoing health issues. Additionally, at that time (thanks to social media) I knew that she was in a negative funk. While I was picking up the certificate, she unloaded on me some of her troubles. It hit me that my purpose was not so much for the gift certificate, but for giving her some positive energy (and a different perspective on things) to help her to negate the negative energy around her.  (I tend to need a nap after such encounters.) Later I got validation that things were more positive for her.

I can go on and on and expand on these, but I think that this is enough for now.

Until next time.

Love & Light!

Maura