I don’t mean any disrespect with the above title, but I took the work “fun” out of the word “funeral” as a confirmation of the events that I had witnessed over the past few days.
I originally posted this to my Instagram account, but I feel the nudge to post it here as well:
On our way home yesterday from a #family#funeral I looked in the back seat where my husband’s suit jacket was hanging and saw the funeral procession car sticker folded in half with the word #fun staring at me. We don’t often associate a time of mourning to be “fun” but I thought to myself for a moment…there WERE uplifting, and heartwarming moments during the past two days that put a smile on my face.
Moments like these bring people together. My husband and I met relatives we didn’t know that we had. We reconnected with others who we should have never had space between. I was able to deliver some short, simple, yet healing messages to some who needed to hear certain things. Others were able to release burdens and emotional knots. I felt forgiveness between some people. Love is the highest form of energy, and at this sad time, I felt it radiating all around. As my husband and I left the funeral luncheon, there was such a feeling of peace and contentment. ♥️✨🌹
From time to time I have received messages that aren’t able to be shared. Sometimes they can’t be shared because I don’t feel that the person will believe me. I feel that they will question or disregard how I got the information that I am passing along. Other times, for whatever reason, people are no longer in communication with you or they don’t reply to previous communications you have sent regarding other matters, so why would a message from the other side get any more or less attention from them? I’ll share two experiences with you. One had to do with a family losing a pet after a long illness, the other had to do with warning someone about how their emotions could play a role in the future of their health.
A Message from a Pet
I knew a family who I chatted with often. Often enough that their dog knew me and would greet me when he would see me. In recent years, the dog became sick and the family did their best to slow down his deterioration and to keep him comfortable. Eventually the family had to make the decision to put the dog down. One late afternoon within a month of the dog passing, and within minutes of chatting with a member of the family, I was in my garage looking for something when I saw the dog that had recently passed, literally pass through my garage. It was as if he was playing or chasing after something or someone. He made eye contact with me and on his way by, he said, “I’m, OK. Can you let them know that I am OK?” (So far in my “mediumship experience” animals in spirit form sound like humans to me and sound like they are talking just as you and I would.) I debated on how I should explain this message to the family and I eventually just chickened out. Looking back, I feel that I should have struck up a conversation about the dog and mentioned that I am sure he’s out of pain and OK on the other side, but by me changing the message a bit I felt that it would lose its authenticity so I chickened out. And now, so much time has passed, it seems even more awkward to bring it up now.
It is Too Bad that I Can’t Tell You to Check Yourself before You Wreck Yourself.
In another instance, I was clueless in how to get a message to a toxic person who doesn’t respond to you when you have tried to reach out to them for other things (i.e. invites to holiday gatherings, congratulatory messages and wishes and acknowledgements, etc.). This person has also done their best to avoid me at certain functions. I’m sure to a certain degree I’m done beating my head against a wall, based on my prior attempts with non-spiritual communication with this person. A no response (repeatedly) IS a response, and the older I get, I no longer chase people. I know, not very “love and light” sounding, but my own ego aside, my gut feeling is that the message that I heard from the other side will not be received well, processed, or heard, and in fact, based on the person who it is for, will cause more problems and tension.
An example of this is when I received a message about the possible future outcome of this person’s health. Normally I don’t like to share with people if I think they have an illness, disease or when I think their days are numbered. In certain cases, depending on who they are or what my relationship is with them, and what they directly ask me to tell them I may share a bit more with the person, but as a general rule, I don’t like to give out medical or health-related information that I pick up on. In this case though, this was more of a “preventative” health message.
This individual tends to hold grudges, many time fictional grudges. She tends to hold in anger, exclude people and she talks more than she listens and I once received a message in regard to her health. The message was: “If she didn’t learn how to release the anger she carries, it is going to fester into a disease.” The disease I picked up on (and had verified by another intuitive) was cancer. (This individual already had survived a bout with cancer in one part of her body and is now in complete remission.) I first thought that perhaps my wires were getting crossed and the cancer that I was picking up on was the cancer she had already had. But no, I got validation (as well as from an additional intuitive) that if she doesn’t learn to let go of her anger, and change her ways, her anger is going to fester into cancer. I felt that is going to be bone cancer of some sort. I also felt that she will hold at least one of her grandchildren (I am guessing a granddaughter is first) here in the physical word before she gets sick and passes. Possibly two.
Kind of a juicy message, no??
(You’ll notice that I had a second intuitive validate the information that I got. It is ok to use other people to help you to validate if the information you are getting is correct or not, or to see if your head is getting in the way of your intuition.)
Since getting this message I have extended the olive branch to both this individual as well as to some of her surrounding family members with little to no success. Perhaps someday I will be given the opportunity to deliver it, if it is not too late. All I can do in the meantime is send healing energy in that person’s direction. It is hard to share the messages that I get when the receiver isn’t ready, open, able or wanting to hear them.
We all have people in our lives who get under our skin or irritate our spirit from time to time. Maybe for you it is a co-worker, a relative, an Ex, or a busy-body neighbor who is always in your business.
I have a quick, little exercise that you can do anywhere: I want you to send *love* to three people who are bothering you. At first, this may not be easy, but you will feel freer every time you do it. When you practice sending love to your enemies, you are practicing compassion. You are also raising your vibration.
When you do this exercise, you are strengthening your emotional power.
It doesn’t mean that you suddenly become friends with your enemy, but when you harbor anger or hate, you may notice things like repeated problems in your life, illness, debt, insomnia and even injury, just to name a few. Why hang on to that? Let it go!
Give this little exercise a try and feel free to drop me a line and tell me how it worked for you.
As you get older, it can be hard to find. The magic of Christmas. Besides getting wrapped up in the busyness of the season, similar to weddings, I feel that the holidays, bring out the ugly in people. More often than not, stress and family drama block us from seeing what is important this time of year.
My husband and I have hosted Christmas day at our house for the last few years. We invite people from both sides of the family including extended family. Some show, some don’t. Others don’t even bother to RSVP. Some are pleasant when they are here. Others are oblivious to boundaries or manners but they are family and it is what it is. Because of the cast of characters at holiday time, or the family dynamic, stress can sometimes be a factor in the days leading up to and during family gatherings.
I had an appointment with one of my mentors today. Through energy work, she helped me to connected with my higher self and to get some answers and “wisdom” as I like to call it. I am sharing this experience with you in the hopes that perhaps it will help you to focus on what is important during this time of year.
During my session, I found it hard to relax and to connect, especially at the beginning. It is always hard to turn my mind off. Eventually I got into a meditative-like state and I started to feel like I was floating on air. I then got an image that looked like a home, my home, but it wasn’t exactly my home. I acknowledged where I was.
I then got a message that I (as we all do) will be tested by the Universe to see if I’ve learned my lessons along the way here in this place, we call life, (the physical world) or “life-school.” The subject of not taking responsibility for other’s choices, actions or deeds came up. I was told when people let us down (in the case of the holidays, maybe they let us or those around us down by not showing up for whatever reason) to not take it personally, to not take on the burden or guilt (or the guilt that others project on me) of their actions and to just “take these people for who they are.” I was reminded that I am not the one making the decision for other people when they don’t show up. That is their own choice to miss out and to lie in the bed that they have made.
Next, a person started to appear. It looked like the Virgin Mary. Next, I was in a room with a long table. The room looked like a dinning room in the medieval times. The walls were made of brick and there were flames on sconces along the walls that provided light. I looked around and I was seated at a table with a handful of people who were also seated. I couldn’t make them all out. Many seemed older than I but I couldn’t see all of the faces. I look next to me and the only face or person that I am able to make out is that of a man who looks like “St. Nick.” Not like someone you’d see dressed in a shopping mall as he looked more nostalgic than that. He was wearing white gloves. In my vision, I saw the white gloves hand me something. It was a bright light. When I asked what it was, the response was “magic!” At first, I was confused.
In my vision, the St. Nick-looking man turned into a Wizard, meaning he started to look more magical and more wizard-like. Sort of like Merlin the Magician with a pointy hat and long beard. He and I then appeared to be standing in my family room together, sort of behind my couch, observing my parents and children together. He said to “Let the magic out of the box and let it do its thing!”
His message was that the “magic” he was showing me was “the spirit of Christmas” and that “togetherness is the gift of Christmas.” A gift that we should enjoy. A gift we should appreciate. And a gift that we shouldn’t waste. (“How many years does everyone in the family have left to be together here in the physical world?”) I also got the messages that when things get tense, that I should send light and holiday spirit to people and situations that need it. Though this experience was my individual experience, I think that many can relate and translate it into their own life during the holiday season.
I will happily add that I started to lose some weight a week or so before the wedding and to this day, it is still falling off with really no effort or intention on my part. It is as though my “layer of protection” that I have packed on (you can read about here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/ive-heard-of-the-freshman-fifteen-but-nobody-mentioned-the-awakening-15-to-me/ ) started to melt away as I got confident in myself, the angel messages that I had received and what I had to deal with at this wedding. The weight has continued to come off after as I replay in my head what I observed in people that evening. I have also been more honest with telling some people around me about my gifts, which I believe has assisted in dropping the weight as well.
So, about the wedding… (Which was really beige and not white, by the way.)
While getting ready for the wedding, I had some down time and I used that time to center myself, go over what I needed to do (radiate my light and spread love to those around me. This is the message that I got from my Guides a few weeks back.) I talked to my “spiritual team” (Guides and Angels) and even performed some Reiki on myself. I
knew that my grandmother, (my father’s mother) would be walking along side of me that evening. I’ve known it for months. I was as ready as I was going to be. I was calm and relaxed and ready for whatever was going to come my way. I threw some crystals in my purse. I took rose quarts and pyrite. (Rose quartz is the stone of the heart, a crystal of unconditional love that carries a soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort. Pyrite is a protector of negative energy as well as a stone that give a confidence boost.) I performed my usual energy protection rituals and then we were off. There was a shuttle bus that could have taken us to the wedding venue, but we chose to drive by ourselves.
My husband and I arrived at the chapel prior to my parents and sister. We grabbed a seat and saved room for others to join us as the seats were filling up fast. We had a row further back. I was in the corner but felt it was a comfortable space where I could observe from. We got a wave from some members of my Uncle’s side of the family toward the front row, but no body offered for us to move up, which was fine, we don’t feel we are the first tier of people to be up in front anyway.
While waiting, I saw my cousin Ann*, my second cousin Lynn* and her mother, Auntie J.* walk in.
My husband was standing in the aisle while I was sitting in the pew. Lynn walked by and gave my husband a quick hug and tried to scoot by with just a wave and a hello to me, but I got up and greeted her with a hug. Then I see her mother, Auntie J. I went up to her and she let me hug her, but then I go to kiss her on the cheek and she turned away. I noticed what has happened but carry on without missing a beat. As that was taking place, my cousin Ann said a side-ways “hello” more to my husband, than to me, and tried to walk behind everyone and avoid me. I moved closer to her and hugged her and said, “It’s great to see you.” She murmured the same back and walked to the front of the church where my uncle’s side of the family was seated. I can honestly say that I treated each lady with love and respect from the get-go that evening.
Next my parents arrived. They squeezed in and my mother asked where my sister is. She walks in (she arrived with the first three gals, but stopped off at the ladies room) and my mother called for her to sit by us. I gave her a hug as she sat down near my mother and me. I could tell that she was irritated that she had to sit by me and my parents, as she would have preferred to sit up front with the cousins, but let’s be honest, your parents come first. At one point my cousin Ann motions to my sister that there is room where they are sitting up front, but then my mom chimed in and asked if there was room for all of us, and that ended that. You could see my sister’s disgust in her body language as she realized that she was “stuck” with us for the ceremony.
As the ceremony is ready to get started, I saw my Uncle, the father of the groom, and we make eye contact. I give both him and the groom’s brother a hello as they pass by and see me. They weren’t sure what to make of my “hello” but wave back.
Before and during the ceremony, no matter what I would say to my sister to attempt to make conversation, she would say the opposite. I would say left, she’d say right, I’d mention up, she’d say down. No matter what I tried to do to get anywhere with her, I couldn’t so I took a break from trying until later in the evening.
The ceremony was very nontraditional and had more of a “comedy” theme to it. Others seemed to relate to the inside jokes that were said and the tone of the ceremony. Though it was a nice ceremony I didn’t connect with it, but I reminded myself that I didn’t relate to many of the people who were in the chapel and vice versa, they didn’t understand me in the least bit, but all of that was OK. We were there to celebrate the marriage of a bride and groom who were starting their life out together. It didn’t matter what the rest of us thought. It was their day. The day was how THEY want it to be. Outside opinions didn’t matter.
Once the ceremony concluded, we stepped outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out of the chapel. My parents, husband and I greeted my Aunt and Uncle (the mother and father of the groom). All four of us exchanged hugs and handshakes are exchanged and we are told “Thank you for coming.” My initial thought was, “Great! Everyone is acting cordial.”
While waiting for the couple to come out, I saw my Uncle’s sister-in-law. We’ll call her “Pat*”. Pat had a really cute dress and flats on and I complimented her on her dress and shoes. She commented back, referring to the wedges that I was wearing, about how she followed the rules on the wedding invite and wore flats as suggested, to the outdoor venue. Her comment seemed a bit icy, but I believed the comment had more to do with her, wishing she didn’t wear the flats, than with me.
On the way to the tented reception, I stopped off to the ladies room. There I made small talk with strangers who were in there. I am one who normally will make small talk with strangers and offer a smile or lift them up with a compliment. As I looked in the mirror, I could see (and feel) that I was still vibrating high.
On my way out of the ladies room, my sister and cousin Ann walk past my husband not acknowledging him until they saw me and then they said something. I let it go and made some light-hearted comment back and we headed toward the reception tent.
Once in the tent, we got our table assignments. My husband (the only male who would be at our table) and I were going to be seated with my sister, Ann, Lynn and Auntie J. My parents were seated at a different table. I could see the disappointment on my husband and father’s faces that they weren’t going to get to sit together. I could also sense my mother’s dismay as well. I decided that we weren’t going to sit down quite yet and visit around the room first, but I also made sure that we acknowledge those who were at our table prior to sitting down. My husband and I took the long way toward our table and stopped at the bar first. I filled him in on what I had seen/sensed from other’s actions towards me at the church. To a certain degree he doesn’t see or understand fully what I see and feel as he is not an Intuitive Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person like I am.
We stopped by the bar and I asked for a cranberry and tonic. I made a point to not drink alcohol about 5 days before the wedding, as well as to not drink at the wedding for two reasons: Alcohol can block the flow of spiritual gifts. (Five days might not sound like much to some, but I feel like almost every day an excuse pops up to have a drink – a glass of wine on the patio, a drink out with the girls, a cocktail after the kids are in bed, etc.) Also, coming from a family tree of heavy drinkers, I decided that I didn’t need anyone accusing me of acting a “certain way” because maybe I had too much to drink.
On the way to the bar I saw a man’s face that seemed to transform into Lynn’s father’s face, who had passed. The face gave me a deep, knowing look into my eyes. I let it pass. Sort of questioning it.
While at the bar, Pat’s husband came up and talked to me and my husband. All was fine. We just made small talk. Also while in line I see my aunt and uncle’s sister in law, Jilly*. Jilly (as well as Pat) have a history or coming up to me at family events, especially Jilly, if they are the current target of negativity, or on the outs with, well shall we say, may Aunt Marie,* the mother of the groom. In the past, when they have been short on people to “chat” with at family functions, they will chat it up with me to kill time. That wasn’t happening at this function. But when you have been the target before, you don’t want to piss off the Ring Leader, so you abide by the “rules” and follow suit. This cycle of icing somebody out has happened for generations. It happened with my Great Grandmother, my grandmother and great aunt, and with my aunt and cousins now. Jilly and I never had a problem making conversation before but while in line at the bar, I said hello, gave her a hug and complimented her on the jacket she had on. In an adverse tone, and no eye contact, she replied, “Thanks, my daughters picked it out.” And turned her back and walked away. That was that. She was done.
I made a stop at our table before I made my way over to check out the dessert table and found some cute, older gals standing by a heater to try to keep warm. (It was not quite 50 degrees out and raining.) We chatted it up a bit. I enjoyed their smiles and warm energy, no pun intended.
After viewing the dessert table, I stopped by my mother who is trying to get organized at her assigned table. Her and my father’s seats keep getting pushed down further to the end of the table as Pat was organizing who should sit where. I tried to make small talk with Pat and my mother, but Pat didn’t make eye contact with me and tried to zip a zinger comment my way to make me “feel dumb” which I was aware of. At that point, I just moved on.
Since we are lacking family photos as a whole and we were all dressed up, my mother found a nice back drop and takes some photos in front of. We called my sister over so that she could join us. While this was taking place, I could feel the negative energy and comments from those hanging out at the table we are to be seated at in a bit.
After my mom was done with taking photos, my sister and dad start talking by the DJ’s table. I went up and tried to join in the conversation. My husband eventually joined as well. No matter what conversation starter I asked my sister, the harsh, snippy responses were thrown back in my direction. I almost asked her what was wrong, why the tone, is there something that I did? The look on the face and body language couldn’t be ignored either, but then I remembered, we were just there for a wedding. If I asked too much, I might have gotten a negative reaction and we didn’t need to make a spectacle. I just let it be. At the end of the day, I knew that her issues are her own and they have to do with the way that my parents raised us differently, under the same roof. I was raised in such a way that I became more independent and she was the one who was (and still is) always coddled and never confronted for her actions. I have also learned that she uses her body language as a way to get attention as the victim. Victims play the victim for the sake of attention.
It was finally time to sit down for dinner. As we sat down, I caught a glimpse of what looked like and reminded me of Ann’s father who had passed. I saw him look over at me and I sensed that deep knowing look. I knew he was there. Once we sat, I sensed the awkwardness kicking in, heads were down and everyone focused on their plates. It was more than a resting bitch face for some. In some cases, it was also the shoulders slumped forward. I decide to just take the lead and nip the awkward silence in the bud. I paid particular attention to MY own body language making sure that I was “open” to others and not closed off. I started with Ann. I ask, “Ann, how are the kids doing?” and in response to my question, I got an abrupt and angered “Fine, how are yours?” back. I saw Lynn’s eyes pop out of her head so I knew that I wasn’t playing up the dramatics of the tone that was used. Ann dialed it back a bit and asked me, “How are yours?” I kept my gentle tone consistent and explained some of my kids’ recent activities and then moved on to Lynn and asked about her son and she showed some photos from his Senior Prom.
I sat at the table with my arms open under the table and my palms facing upward. I recall during the speeches literally sending love and a bright white light to those at my table. I saw the gentleman who looked like Lynn’s father pass by again. I got the long gaze as he came by. I struggled with what to do with that, but clearly at this point in time, and after watching people’s behavior, my thoughts were that nobody was ready to accept the gifts that I have or the messages that could be delivered because they’d be coming from me. I do think that Lynn’s father popped up twice to me because her mother was also at the table. Though they were divorced when he passed, I know that there is still love and hurt there. Better yet, I think that Lynn’s son’s soul is that of her brother that passed away at birth. Again, nobody is ready to hear this.
I tried to chat with my sister a few more times while we were still sitting at dinner. I asked her questions about her work, her dog, and so forth. Still, not getting very far. While at the table I couldn’t help but to notice the “looks” back and forth between Lynn and Ann throughout the evening. At times I see my sister looking at Ann and Lynn’s non-verbal communication, but I could tell that she’s not in on it. She was more the third wheel that was used when they needed a bigger team. I particularly picked up on the looks and vibes whenever my dad walked up. (My poor father kept trying to come over and talk to my husband because he had little conversation at his table and equally felt bad for my husband.)
Eventually, the bride and groom danced their first dance together. They danced to what was my deceased Aunt and Uncle’s song – Ann’s parents. When the song is over, I literally saw my aunt and uncle joined together and waving at me as the song concluded. I smiled and thanked them.
At some point my sister, Lynn and Ann go off and dance. I felt bad for Auntie J. being left alone so my husband and I stayed seated at the table. At one point, when the ladies returned to the table, I was taken aback at what I saw. I saw a gray color around them – their auras, I was seeing the same color on all of them. It was like I was seeing their hurt and their “toxicity.” (An aura is the outline energy field of the body. A gray or dark aura reveals someone to have unclear intention. It can also indicate an unforgiving nature (to self or others), past life problems, unreleased anger, grief or health problems.)
My husband and I danced to a slow song. My father grabbed Ann for the dance. I know why my father did it. Ann is a connection to my deceased Aunt for him, as she was her daughter. She was uncomfortable with it, but that had more to do with her actions than his.
After dancing, I saw my Aunt Maria sitting by herself watching the dance floor. I thought that it would be a good time to go over and try to say something to her. After all, things seemed fine when we walked out of the chapel. I bent down and told her, “Today was really nice, don’t you think?” She turned halfway, gave me a glare and replied, “Yeah, thanks.” And turned her back toward me. I bent down again, thinking I would try again, but decided to just leave it.
I know that she is the pot-stirrer of this whole current family mess. In all fairness, she grew up around similar actions. (When you know better, you do better.) I know that she harbors a lot of anger and resentment which if not released, will turn into disease. I believe it will be bone cancer if she doesn’t break the cycle. I also known that when people stir the pot, they are doing so to put attention on them. For whatever reason THEY need attention so they try to get it by creating drama.
At that moment, I remember thinking to myself that I was thankful (for the first time in my life) for a girl who I went to school with – The Prom Queen. She was also a pot-stirrer and she was great at getting the room to turn on a person. I didn’t realize until now that the aggravation that she caused me years ago actually prepared me for moments like these.
At this point in the evening, I felt that I had only gotten as far as I was going to get with people in the room and that it was time to go. My mom gave me a strange look when I told her that my husband and I were saying our good byes and heading out. (My dad on the other hand was wishing that he could leave with us.)
I realize that my parents are trying to keep their noses clean in this family drama situation. My Aunt Maria is my father’s only living original family member left left so they don’t want to ruin that. Never mind that my father was taught his whole life to keep his head down and to avoid conflict. With that said, if people were treating my sister that evening the way that they were treating me, he would have been all over it making phone calls and having conversations behind the scenes to try to fix things on her behalf. I need to chalk it up to: My parents think that I am independent and can handle this.
Before leaving, we look for my Uncle to say “goodbye” to. I never got confirmation (yet) on the watch that my uncle was wearing at the wedding, but I have a feeling that someday in the future I will. (Refer back to my previous blog.) He was very pleasant and appreciative. A very different energy than my Aunt’s Marie’s. He put his hand on my back when we left and I felt his energy towards me – the energy of touch means more than words.
I am glad that we drove separately and didn’t take the shuttle back to the hotel. It turns out that Lynn was running her mouth on the bus ripping the ceremony and wedding apart with the bride two seats away from her. Definitely not the final words a Bride wants to end her special day on.
The next day, word gets to me that some thought that I was acting “fake” at the wedding and Ann had felt the need to reference me as “someone who flaunts their sainthood in order to find their horns.” At the end of the day I know that people’s issues are their own and their behaviors have to do with how they are really feeling about themselves. Empaths are mirrors to others. We reflect back to others what they don’t like about themselves and what they need to change or to work on. Let’s also remember that empaths don’t do fake.
If I was acting out of my normal range, my husband would have been the first to call me out on it, right then and there on it. I know in my heart that I was acting authentically.
I also realize that I vibrate higher than those I was around at the wedding. As a rule, when you vibrate higher, toxic people fall away from you. They also don’t know how to approach you. (I have learned this along my awakening journey.)
Later that morning, when it was time to head back home, I closed the hotel room door behind me. Before doing so, I paused for a moment. It felt symbolic. Like I was turning a page or even closing a book cover. Perhaps some family healing was put into motion the day of the wedding. Only time will tell.
*Names and some timeline order of events have been changed to protect people’s privacy.
The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.