Accepting What is, and Manifesting Love, Hope, and Compassion!

Accepting “what is” is a “recognition” of what is going on around us and not necessarily an “agreement” to what is happening. With that said, what are your thoughts manifesting?? (I hope that it isn’t fear.) Remember if something is “real” in your brain, it will be “real” in the physical. In this potent time, what do you wish to attract? Negativity, resistance, anger, disappointment, chaos or fear? Or love, hope, abundance, inspiration and compassion?

Emotions carry their own vibration. When you come from a place of fear or doubt, you decrease your vibration. Emotions like love, peace, or joy carry a vibration between 500–600hz, while fear vibrates at 100hz?

GBS_What are you manifetingIt is vital that you align your thoughts to manifest positive outcomes. (This doesn’t mean you are walking around “happy” with what is going on in the world around you, but rather how you are reacting to it.) When you come from a place of love, peace, or joy, you are not just raising your own vibration, but doing your part to raise the vibration of your home, your neighborhood, your town, your state and even that of the planet as a whole. Something so useful right now.

You can raise your vibration through meditation, grounding (or earthling); listening to music or singing; utilizing a creative outlet, focusing on gratitude, spending time in nature, as well as accepting what is.

It is also helpful to remember to stay hydrated, mindful of what you eat, and take breaks from both the news and social media as needed, if not all together.

Accept what is and do your best to try to raise your vibration. It is something small we can do, but its impact ripples far wider than you think.

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As a Consciously Awake Person, Are You Spreading “Fear” about the Coronavirus? What if We Concentrate on Shining our Light Instead of Contributing to the Darkness?

fearIn recent days, I have been amazed at how many (self-proclaimed) Consciously Awaken people (who identify with being lightworkers, star seeds, earth angels, empaths, or healers, etc.) are spreading “fear” about the Coronavirus, especially on social media, at a rapid rate! Some of these individuals specialize in energy work, others in homeopathic modalities, others in crystal healing, etc., – things that more enlightened people do or believe in, yet they are giving energy to, or really helping to fuel, the chaos and negativity associated with this “virus” and adding to the darkness, which is something an enlightened, or conscious person should recognize.

As people awaken or become conscious (others use the term “ascend”) we learn that our purpose (which can come in many forms or jobs here in the physical world) is to change the world (for the better) by raising first our vibration and then that of others, and in return the vibration on the planet where we live. (The world is not going to end, it is just changing and we need to learn to adapt.)

As people awaken, they start to understand that everything is energy. And just like we learned in school:  it cannot be created nor destroyed, it just changes forms.  You and me, as well as everything around us, is made up of energy. Positive energy vibrates at a higher frequency and negative energy vibrates at a lower frequency. Energy (positive or negative) can also manifest depending on what energy or attention is given to it.

In recent days American health officials have warned that the Coronavirus is likely to spread in communities in the United States. There are plenty of (un-checked) lists circulating on the internet as to what people “should be buying” right now. In some areas in the countsnap out of itry, some store shelves are empty. On the internet I’ve heard (Consciously-minded) people panicking about not being able to find surgical masks at their local stores and complaining why the stores didn’t stock such items ahead of time. I’ve seen others tag numerous family members on social media posts in the hopes that they are getting the message that the virus is coming.  Then there are the numerous articles and opinions circulation that haven’t exactly been fact-checked that people are sharing and re-posting. Do you see how these actions are adding to the fear?

No matter your thoughts on what is going on in the world right now with this virus or what may happen, (i.e. schools or places of business may close, curfews may be instated, make-shift clinics will be popping up, food and supplies may not make it over from other countries, or maybe that this is a tool being used to divide people, it’s a paradigm shift, a bioweapon or that it has to do with our government controlling us here in the US, or it has to do with politics or our relationship with China, or that maybe the government/pharmaceutical industry is trying to push vaccines, etc.,), you aren’t consciously awake if you are going off the deep end right now! Snap out of it! Focus on how you can help this situation. If you are Reiki attuned, send healing energy to those who are ill, or send protective energy to those who aren’t infected. Pray for peace. Be an example of “love” as love is the opposite of fear. If you work with any sort of healing modalities, keep using them and refining your craft. Heck, educate more people along the way on alternative ways that they can stay healthy. (You get the picture.) Even if you aren’t 100% sure how to assist others in healing or protection, intention is everything. And no matter what happens in the coming weeks or months, be ready to walk through the fire with your head high and your shoulders back, connected to your Higher Self/God/Source if need be, but in the meantime, don’t add to the panic and negativity that is spreading at a rapid rate. Shine your light to combat the darkness.

 

Yesterday I was Keeping my Words in, and I Started to get a Sore Throat

Along my awakening journey I have learned that most dis-ease, body ailments, aches and pains that we experience in our bodies here in the physical world are related to our frame of mind and emotional state. (Louise Hay’s Book, “Heal Your Body” is a great resource for this topic.) I had an experience yesterday that is a perfect example of this that I would like to share with you.

As a reminder, the stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.

This post is a bit long, but I think that the back story is important to share to bring light as to why my throat started to hurt.

As it relates to this story, parents all have different parenting styles and we all handle issues with our children as we see fit. In our house when my children have an issue with another child (which doesn’t happen very often) we start by addressing the issue in only the four walls of our house and try to talk through and rectify the issues that way. (I don’t bother my children’s school with the issue and I don’t reach out to other parents immediately.)  If things are more serious or the same thing(s) keeps happening between one of my children and another child, (and it needs to be something big or my child’s reaction shows me concern) I will bring it to the attention of the other child’s parent. I’ve only had to bring up issues with other parents a few times so far in my children’s adolescent lives. Honestly I can count on one hand the number of times and I think I am up to maybe 4. In the times I have had to reach out to another parent I have presented the issues as a “heads up” to the parent to let them know that an incident took place. I don’t ask for anything in return. No even an apology to my kid. Just simply a heads up. I also ask that parent to let ME know what role my child played in the incident and to please let me know if I need to address anything with my child.

The times that I have been contacted by another parent about concerns or incidents that my children have been involved in, I thank the parent for reaching out to me and let them know that I will be addressing the issue with my child. I then sit down with my child and ask them for their side of the story.

As with anything, there are always three sides to any story…What this one thinks happens. What the other person think happens. And then what REALLY happened…. We all have our different perception or interpretation as to what is going on around us. In some cases one person might be in the wrong in their actions. In other cases both parties might be right or wrong in their actions.

If a parent contacts me about my child, I sit down with my child and get their side of the story and decide whether they were correct or not correct in their behavior. Then I circle back with the parent who contacted me and at times it has been appropriate that my child apologize to the other child. In our home we tend to “make things right” with the situation or other person and try to move on, even if we (or my children) feel that they didn’t wrong anyone. It is easier to just be a good human and to apologize and to move on.

My child (as well as our family) has tolerated the behavior of another child in our neighborhood for nearly the last six years. The list of things that this child has done that we have tolerated is a mile long and ranges from things like damaging our property, using inappropriate words and comments for his age, physically striking my children with other toys, and the best was the time that our family came home one day to find that he let himself into our house (and our dog running amok around the neighborhood). Though many of these things have continued to happen, the ones that I listed above all happened before this kid was 8 years old. (He is now 11.)

Over the years, after such incidents, I  have kept my mouth shut and I didn’t follow up with the parents of the child because my gut feeling told me if I bring anything up, that it would cause bad blood with this family. My thought was by keeping my mouth shut and tolerating this kid that I was being a cordial and considerate neighbor. (As many of you read this, I know you are thinking, WTF? Why didn’t you say anything?)

Fast forward to less than two months ago, there were multiple verbal instances between my child and this kid and on the final time other parents were witness to it. Since it was the third or fourth time that it happened and I could see that it was wearing on my child, I chose to reach out to the mother of the child via text.

The mother responded quickly and thanked me for letting her know. She did allude to the fact that her child’s behavior had to do with a text message that a third party kid sent her kid, but she said she would address it.

OK, fine. My thought was “let’s move on.” I’ve brought it to her attention. She’ll handle it her way. We are done here. (I was actually surprised at the quick response as other parents have warned me that they never get anywhere with her when they have raised issues in the past.) I felt satisfied in thinking that this was a done issue.

Then just this week, my child (who is generally on the more timid side) comes home fuming, in tears and is looking to punch walls and to kick things. He tells me that “he can’t take it anymore” and describes what this kid, the ringleader, said on the bus to my child and got others to join in as well. My child said that the ringleader and another child were poking at him the most, though others were also chiming in. My child does lack courage when standing up to others and it is something that we are still working on, but I could tell that this incident shook him. He proceeded to tell me that this has previously gone on (since the last incident that I let the mother know about) and I could tell that he had had it and that the ring-leading child’s repeated actions were affecting my child’s mental and emotional state.

I waited a few hours (I always feel that a cool down period is important) and I reached out to the children’s parents who seemed to cause my child the most distress with one being the ringleader’s mother and then to another mother who I know, to make them aware of the incident. I didn’t ask for anything in return, I just wanted them to be aware.

One mother responded back to me. She expressed concern and said that she’d be addressing it with her child. She also offered to have her child come over and to apologize. The other… the ringleader’s mother, wrote back a curt message that evening.  (Let’s add here that as an Intuitive Emapth, I can feel the tone of words that are written, not just spoken as well as have the ability to sense the feelings and energy of other people.)

The next morning while heading to the bus stop, I see the ringleaders’ mother running with her dog. She sees me, looks the other way and takes off.  Later that morning, I get a lengthy text from her. Basically she thinks what her kid said/did to my kid in the previous incident a few months ago as well as the other day isn’t that big of a deal. Her older kid and his friends have done it before and she doesn’t think it is that bad. Boys will be boys. Kids will be kids. (She based this on the fact that she has experience with older kids.) She then spun things and went on to say that I don’t care for her son (well, YOU the reader of this post saw my above list) and made him out to be the victim. She then went on to say that she knows her child and she will always support him. The last line of her message was “Have a nice day!” (In her defense we are I Mercury Retrograde.)

Oh! The things I could respond back with! I was seething. The things I have witnessed her child do… The complaints I have from at least six other families who live nearby who have shared their experiences with this family and this specific kid… The things that other parents at school have mentioned to me about her son…..

I could feel my throat starting to get scratchy as my thoughts were becoming inflamed. I thought, “Great! I’m getting sick!”

I battled with myself as to what my next move should be. Should I respond back?

I thought, why bother? It is going to fall on deaf ears, no responsibility is going to be taken, some people have to be right, they don’t have compassion and they are self-absorbed. I felt that if I go back to her with anything, she’ll just keep throwing it back this way and that her anger and negativity are just going to escalate. Furthermore, if someone has traits they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when an Empath comes along as we reflect their “shadow side” back to them. (I AM an Empath!) Empaths tend to highlight and outline the traits of another person by not playing into lies, behaviors and narcissism.

I also struggled with the fact that my energy isn’t worth sacrificing and really needs to be protected. (People should protect their own energy, but for an Empath, it is even more crucial to do so.) Her lower vibration is just going to bring mine down to her level and the more I interact with her, the more this is going to happen.

And lastly, I feel that somewhere in this mess there is a bit of a “test” for me along my journey. Perhaps a test in keeping my mouth shut regarding things that I know. (See my post about “Spirit Gossip” and getting intuitive information on people who irritate my spirit.)

By dinner time my throat was getting worse and I started to take proactive measures with essential oils and elderberry syrup in the event that I was getting sick.

After dinner was done and the kids were off doing their own thing, I went into my office and I decided to “document” some of the recent instances that my child has had with the ringleader. (A few mothers who I know suggested that I do this in case these incidents keep happening with this kid.) As I was documenting, I also got the other information I had on this child out of my system. A bit of a purge shall we say?

I realized that after I was done documenting and purging, that my throat was back to normal. (Perhaps a reflective crystals ball in my window as well as my selenite wand did a little assisting as well.) Out of curiosity, I did get out my “Heal Your Body” book by Louise Hay to see what the cause or thought pattern of a sore throat or even throat meant.

Per the book, problems with the throat have to do with “The Inability to speak up for one’s self” and “Swallowed anger.” And a sore throat is associated with “Holding in angry words.” Hmmm, sounds like that hit yesterday on the head!

Today, I woke up with no issues in my throat. I also have a feeling of contentment. I know that I did the right thing by not engaging any longer with the mother. I also know that there is more to come and that I should just stay in my lane. The Universe will be taking care of the rest. #SpiritGossip #SoulContracts

It is hard to share the messages that I get when the receiver might not be ready, open, able or wanting to hear them. I also find it challenging to explain “How I know things.”

From time to time I have received messages that aren’t able to be shared. Sometimes they can’t be shared because I don’t feel that the person will believe me. I feel that they will question or disregard how I got the information that I am passing along. Other times, for whatever reason, people are no longer in communication with you or they don’t reply to previous communications you have sent regarding other matters, so why would a message from the other side get any more or less attention from them?  I’ll share two experiences with you. One had to do with a family losing a pet after a long illness, the other had to do with warning someone about how their emotions could play a role in the future of their health.

39fb2715950f87679aa2f16c1904459bA Message from a Pet

I knew a family who I chatted with often. Often enough that their dog knew me and would greet me when he would see me. In recent years, the dog became sick and the family did their best to slow down his deterioration and to keep him comfortable.  Eventually the family had to make the decision to put the dog down.  One late afternoon within a month of the dog passing, and within minutes of chatting with a member of the family, I was in my garage looking for something when I saw the dog that had recently passed, literally pass through my garage. It was as if he was playing or chasing after something or someone. He made eye contact with me and on his way by, he said, “I’m, OK. Can you let them know that I am OK?” (So far in my “mediumship experience” animals in spirit form sound like humans to me and sound like they are talking just as you and I would.) I debated on how I should explain this message to the family and I eventually just chickened out. Looking back, I feel that I should have struck up a conversation about the dog and mentioned that I am sure he’s out of pain and OK on the other side, but by me changing the message a bit I felt that it would lose its authenticity so I chickened out. And now, so much time has passed, it seems even more awkward to bring it up now.

It is Too Bad that I Can’t Tell You to Check Yourself before You Wreck Yourself.

In another instance, I was clueless in how to get a message to a toxic person who doesn’t respond to you when you have tried to reach out to them for other things (i.e. invites to holiday gatherings, congratulatory messages and wishes and acknowledgements, etc.). This person has also done their best to avoid me at certain functions. I’m sure to a certain degree I’m done beating my head against a wall, based on my prior attempts with non-spiritual communication with this person. A no response (repeatedly) IS a response, and the older I get, I no longer chase people. I know, not very “love and light” sounding,  but my own ego aside, my gut feeling is that the message that I heard from the other side will not be received well, processed, or heard, and in fact, based on the person who it is for, will cause more problems and tension.

An example of this is when I received a message about the possible future outcome of this person’s health. Normally I don’t like to share with people if I think they have an illness, disease or when I think their days are numbered. In certain cases, depending on who they are or what my relationship is with them, and what they directly ask me to tell them I may share a bit more with the person, but as a general rule, I don’t like to give out medical or health-related information that I pick up on. In this case though, this was more of a “preventative” health message.

This individual tends to hold grudges, many time fictional grudges. She tends to hold in anger, exclude people and she talks more than she listens and I once received a message in regard to her health. The message was:  “If she didn’t learn how to release the anger she carries, it is going to fester into a disease.” The disease I picked up on (and had verified by another intuitive) was cancer. (This individual already had survived a bout with cancer in one part of her body and is now in complete remission.) I first thought that perhaps my wires were getting crossed and the cancer that I was picking up on was the cancer she had already had. But no, I got validation (as well as from an additional intuitive) that if she doesn’t learn to let go of her anger, and change her ways, her anger is going to fester into cancer. I felt that is going to be bone cancer of some sort. I also felt that she will hold at least one of her grandchildren (I am guessing a granddaughter is first) here in the physical word before she gets sick and passes. Possibly two.

olive branchKind of a juicy message, no??

(You’ll notice that I had a second intuitive validate the information that I got. It is ok to use other people to help you to validate if the information you are getting is correct or not, or to see if your head is getting in the way of your intuition.)

Since getting this message I have extended the olive branch to both this individual as well as to some of her surrounding family members with little to no success. Perhaps someday I will be given the opportunity to deliver it, if it is not too late. All I can do in the meantime is send healing energy in that person’s direction. It is hard to share the messages that I get when the receiver isn’t ready, open, able or wanting to hear them.

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April 15th – Tax Day and a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis

After my faux heart attack back in November numerous tests were run through my Primary Care Physician and at my request I had testing done through a cardiologist as well. (My stress test was done nearly 5 years to the week of my previous one.) My Primary Physician didn’t think that I needed to bother with seeing a Cardiologist, but her hit ratio with diagnosing me in the past had been subpar. (I always think about changing doctors, but then I go long periods without having any issues. During those quiet times I should be forming a relationship with another physician, but then life gets in the way and finding a new Primary Care Physician gets pushed to the bottom of the list. )

During one of my follow up visits with my Primary Care Physician, she suggested that I go and see a Rheumatologist to look into the possibility of me having Fibromyalgia. Naturally, I didn’t care for the one that she suggested so I asked around and found another one who I had a reference on.

Per the Mayo Clinic, Fibromyalgia is: a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.

Symptoms

Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

  • Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
  • Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
  • Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as “fibro fog” impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.

Fibromyalgia often co-exists with other painful conditions, such as:

  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Migraine and other types of headaches
  • Interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome
  • Temporomandibular joint disorders

fibro1I will admit, when I have researched Fibromyalgia online, I do check many of the boxes, but I also know that my thoughts are my reality so I keep mentally not owning the possibility of such a diagnosis. For me, I feel like a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis would be a death sentence. Many of the symptoms ALSO overlap with those that have to do with the Awakening Process. In my opinion, Fibromyalgia is a “bucket” that people are put in when doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with them.

Over the last few years, I have learned of more and more people that I know being diagnosed with Fibro. Many of them are Lightworkers, Empaths, Energy Workers, and most have some sort of psychic ability.  (I have a hunch that Fibromyagia may have to do some people’s rise in frequency and vibratory level, but we can discuss that another time.) Previous to those people having it, my experience with knowing others who have had the disease was a direct correlation to their own poor lifestyle choices. (The type of lifestyle choices that could be picked out a mile away.) And though many will tell you it is not a curable disease, I will tell you that I know a gal who was once diagnosed with Fibro but now doesn’t carry ANY of the symptoms of it.

I have also read many reasons/causes for Fibro including. Per WebMD, causes of Fibro can include from:

  • Genes. Fibromyalgia seems to run in families. Your parents may pass on genes that make you more sensitive to pain. Other genes can also make you more likely to feel anxious or depressed, which makes pain worse.
  • Other diseases. A painful disease like arthritis or an infection raises your chances of getting fibromyalgia.
  • Emotional or physical abuse. Children who are abused are more likely to have the condition when they grow up. This may happen because abuse changes the way the brain handles pain and stress.
  • Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some people have this mental health problem after a terrible event, like war, a car crash, or rape. These events are also linked to fibromyalgia in some people.
  • Gender. The condition is much more common in women than men. Doctors think this could be related to differences in the way men and women feel and react to pain, as well as how society expects them to respond to pain.
  • Anxiety and depression. These and other mood disorders seem linked to fibromyalgia, though there’s no proof that they actually cause the condition.
  • Not moving enough. The condition is much more common in people who aren’t physically active. Exercise is one of the best treatments for fibromyalgia you already have. It can help turn the pain volume down.

From a Holistic Health Standpoint, I found this information from a site called: Heavenly Earth Projects. (There was too much good information not to share.)

From the Conventional Medical perspective, fibromyalgia and cancer are unrelated, yet from the soul perspective, they are both caused by old soul trauma and disconnection.  From the Holistic Health perspective, the spiritual cause of this condition is a deep weariness of the soul.   The individual has lived many, many past lives which have been physically, mentally and emotionally demanding.  The effects of these negative vibrations are carried through in the DNA, and stored as toxins in the cellular memory of the body.

Toxins in the physical body cells are also a contributing factor in many cases.  Mercury fillings, heavy metals, processed foods, chemicals/pesticides and so on.  Detoxification of the physical body is important, and is also initiated with a Forensic Healing session.

Common Past Life experiences:

  • adventure, exploration, war, physical endurance in extreme conditions
  • pushing beyond normal limits, even through pain
  • self sacrifice of body and mind, to achieve goals and avoid emotional self
  • experienced severe woundings, torture, because of intuitive/healing abilities

These past life experiences can also result in other types of dis-ease, however, my understanding is that fibromyalgia is triggered by unresolved emotional issues relating to family, and can also be carried in the ancestral DNA.  Though it is not hereditary, it can ‘cluster’ within families.

Common behaviours of a person with Fibromyalgia

  • helpful, responsible people who hurt themselves in their eagerness to please others, particularly family, and are not able to express how they feel
  • busy, tense, driven, stressed
  • lack proper boundaries
  • don’t balance activity with rest
  • doormat for others
  • less tolerance/patience for others, and holds this inside, causing inner pain.  This resistance affects the nervous system, causing sleep disorders and pain
  • lack of life force energy
  • pain is used to avoid addressing emotional issues (the pain is actually the indicator of unresolved emotional issues)
  • the immobilisation of the body also helps the person avoid the natural expression of emotional energy via movement.
  • psychological pain is stored in the muscles.  Anger, fear, guilt are all stored in the body.  There is a deep desire for change but an inner resistance to making it, due to fear, resulting from past life experience.
  • back pain indicates something out of reach, and out of sight.  These are emotions or issues that we are not ready to face.
  • obligated to others, leaving little time for self
  • feel loyal to family but there is conflict in the relationships – you feel trapped, hurt or helpless in the situation.  You want to walk away but feel obligated to family member.
  • you need some emotional nurturing.  You nurture the emotions of others, to the exclusion of your own.

And Per Louise Hay: When a person is under stress, the body reacts and tenses. Stiffness and pain is felt in the fibrous tissues, usually deep within the muscles yet there is nothing wrong with the muscles themselves. Stiffness is a result of rigid and stiff thinking. Tension, fear and holding on result in the body cramping and gripping. Affirm: I move easily and comfortably. My feet dance through life!

paint.jpgWell, today is April 15, Tax Day here in the United States. I had a long-awaited appointment (it took nearly 3 months to get) with a rheumatologist. My appointment was the first one of the day at 8am.

I went through a brief description of my health history, including the mysterious symptoms (some I now know to be metaphysically related but no need to mention that to a doctor who specializes in Western Medicine.) She did an exam and supposedly had my blood work from my Primary Care Physician. She asked me a ton of questions, which I appreciated as many doctors these days don’t seem to have the time to get to know you or your heath situation.

She then told me “I am giving you a Fibro diagnosis. You have Fibro but no autoimmune disease at this time. By me giving you a diagnosis, you don’t need to keep going back for further testing. Testing that would could lead to things like more radiation or even lead to finding something that in your body that ‘God gave you’ that isn’t causing you any harm, but others may say that it is a concern or need to be taken out. No medication is needed at this time. Yoga and Talk Therapy will help you.”

These words didn’t hit me until she left the room – was she doing me a favor by ending this train ride?? I know that I have some internal work and healing to do. I’ve always felt the push to do yoga and honestly, the Talk Therapy makes sense as I have not shared my symptoms, spiritual gifts and metaphysical experiences from many.

Did she on some level know that more testing would lead to something that didn’t need to happen? A surgery? A treatment? (The drugs necessary for treating Fibro would be a cocktail of a few different drugs, per her and my conversation I am already medically sensitive to medicines. I can’t imagine being on those that we’d have to fish around trying to find a correct dose for.) So did she do me a favor with a diagnosis that I was trying to avoid? (I’m going with “yes” on this.)

Right now I am just processing the idea that I have this diagnosis. I am still trying to “not own it.” I also think that there is something more “bigger picture” when it comes to Lightworkers and those of us with gifts.  We’ll see what happens. Stay tuned.

Another Mysterious Health Symptom – Food Allergy or another Affinity to My Awakening Process?

I’ve had a slew of medical and mysterious health “symptoms” along my awakening process. I have learned that some of my symptoms have had to do with changes in my body, changes in my energy, or changes in the energy in the solar system or on the planet. I’ve learned that some of my symptoms and even anxiety can have to do with emotions or experiences working themselves to the surface. I have also learned that the “symptoms” can be a nudge from my body when I am venturing off my path or purpose, trying to get me to where I need to be.

I will go long time periods without having any issues and then Boom! Something happens and some medical mystery pops up which is followed by panic, a lot of Google searching, and a slew of doctor visits and tests that lead to, well, nothing that Western Medicine can figure out. In the past, I’ve had medical mysteries last weeks and even months and then disappear.

Today’s Mystery:

This morning was a morning like any other. Before taking the kids to the bus stop, I had my usual coffee and decided to have a banana. Nothing out of the ordinary. I drove to the bus stop (It’s below zero out today).

Before the bus even arrived, it started. My mouth and tongue started to tingle and my lips started to feel funny. My mind automatically goes off the deep end thinking that my throat is closing up. I looked in the mirror to see if there was any swelling. So far, there wasn’t. In the mists of the panic, I couldn’t tell if my throat was closing up or not, or if I was experiencing anxiety. (In these situation, I’ve learned to try to take a moment and evaluate the situation to see if it is really an emergency or anxiety.) I tend to carry a bottle in of water in the car with me (and even Benadryl in my wallet) at all times. I took a few sips of water to make sure that I could swallow. I could. I held off on the Benadryl for now. I hate taking it because then my day is shot by being so tired. I swear that it also wreaks havoc on my thyroid and adrenal glands and messes with my emotions, too.

I called my neighbor to see if she was home. My thought was that maybe if went to her house and chatted for a bit, I’d get my mind off of things and start feeling better. I got her voicemail immediately. I then texted her to see if she was home this morning – she didn’t text back immediately. I didn’t feel that I needed the ER so I circled back to my house. I popped a half of a Benadryl (in the event this was some sort of an allergic reaction) and then I attempted to meditate to try to settle my anxiety.

My neighbor called me back and offered to take me to the doctor or if she could help with anything. We chatted about the things we have been up to later so that helped to calm me as well. She offered to check in on me again later.

Of course the Benadryl, even though I only took half a dose, makes me a feel like I’m walking around in a fog. I tried to work on some journal entries and get some house stuff done. I noticed that my mouth still didn’t feel quite right – like I scraped my tongue on something hard or burnt it. I then noticed that my mouth, lips and even my lower half of my face felt like it was having muscle spasms. (My teeth and gums have been feeling sensitive lately, but I have blamed that on being out of my good toothpaste and using my husband’s instead.)

To make matters more anxious and stressful, my husband is out of town traveling. That adds stress to situations like this because I worry that if I do have a medical situation or end up in the ER, how will the kids be handled once they are home after school or if something happens in the middle of the night.

I had similar sensations to what I had today, once before, like 6 years ago. My tongue had a burning sensation to it for a few days. (I blamed some spicy meal we had at first, but then it lasted for a few days.) My throat felt like it was going to close up, but back then, I didn’t recognize the anxiety. Western medical doctors told me that my sensations might have to do with acid reflux and to take an over the counter 24-antacid and to follow up with an allergist. The allergist couldn’t come up with concrete findings in her allergy testing, besides the fact that I had seasonal allergies and suggested that I take a 24-hr allergy medicine and suggested that I could take up to 2 in a 24/hr period. She also suggested that I carry Benadryl and an EpiPen, but again, no concrete answers on what I was allergic to enough to cause the sensations that I was experiencing.

Further along in my morning, I asked that “if the face and mouth symptoms are not for me, to please put them back in their proper space and time.” (A little Empath trick that I learned to do when trying to determine if the symptoms that I have picked up for really mine or not.) Well, after asking, I still had the symptoms, though they subsided a bit.

As I write this, my ears are buzzing like crazy, (and the face/mouth) has subsided. I also have a tingling in my head. I get the buzzing when Spirit is trying to get my attention. The buzzing is hard for me to tune in to because I do feel so short circuited after the anxiety kicked in. However by having the symptoms changed after I asked (free will) I am calmer in the fact that perhaps this isn’t a medical situation as much as a Spirit situation. I also feel my hands and feet pulsating.

I happened to be in contact with my acupuncturist today, as well as one of my mentors. Some of the reasons that I may be experiencing these symptoms could be:

 – I reached out to a mentor of mine. She did suggest that I could be sensitive to the banana (which I haven’t noticed before, but with my every-changing sensitives, you never know). She suggested that I make sure that I wash my fruits and veggies well.

– She also reminded me that we become more sensitive as we awakening more and become more intuitive. (Something I’ve told others, but forget to remind myself.)

 – The metaphysical emotional meaning as to what I am experiencing with my mouth/lips/tongue: Not speaking truth, sexual shame, not feeling supported to speak up. Not feeling valued. (Time to look for parallels.)

 – Teeth symptoms: Pondering over new information or solutions and pondering new ideas. (Which I have been.)

 – I asked my Acupuncturist what my symptoms could mean in Chinese Medicine. She suggested that it could be “Wind.” (Wind is one of the six external factors of disease – six Qi or six Yin/Six Excesses – that can attack the body, enter the meridians, and cause external diseases.) She said that Wind can cause spasms, coughing, sneezing and itching.

 – I read that the twitching symptoms could have to do with claircognizance “downloads.” These meaning that these downloads are like software or app upgrades on computer devices, except they are happening to a person.

changes aheadFor all that happened today, my day has seemed to fly by. It looks like I have some internal reflecting to do.

I am sharing this experience to help anyone else who is experiencing mysterious ailments and symptoms to not feel alone.  You’re not alone! And you’re not crazy!! You’re just going through an awakening!!

Drained, Tired, Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted – Seasonal Depression or Hibernation Season?

hibernationIt is January and the holidays are behind us. This time of year, I find myself to be particularly drained, tired, and both mentally and physically exhausted. More and more people I talk to, tell me that they also feel the same. I don’t know how long this has been going on, but over the past few years I have noticed the cycle that my body follows right after the holiday season.

This time of year, I notice that I am more than “sleepy” through my day, but more like fatigued – chronic fatigued.  I find that I crave different foods and at times no food at all.  I have little to no interest being social this time of year. I also feel moody and seem to be in fog more often than not – the other day I left the store forgetting some of my groceries in the cart. Some may say that these symptoms mirror Seasonal Depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Part of all of these symptoms I blame on the down side of the holidays. And by holidays, I mean Halloween through New Year’s. I personally feel like October through January 1st is a rat-race, no matter how I try to plan, be organized or pull back on obligations. There is the shopping, the preparations, the decorating, and if you have children like I do, there are the classroom parties, holiday programs, recitals, etc. Never mind the financial or emotional stress that the holidays can put on some people.

This time of year is the opposite of all of that. For every up, there is a down.

I know many people who take traditional antidepressants, or use light therapy to get them through this time of year. And many who I know who use these methods claim that they work well for them. However I have ALSO learned over the years from some of my homeopathic doctors and mentors that just like plants and animals, our bodies go through a natural hibernation cycle. Hibernation doesn’t necessarily mean “sleep” though our bodies need rest, but hibernation is a time when energy needs to be conserved because the body’s functions (and even cells) tend to be slowed down.

0537997451252ba92be6f02732fbc85fThis is the time of year that we ARE supposed to rest and go dormant so that we can reboot in the spring. (It is sort of ironic that people use this time of year to make resolutions and end up working themselves to death at their local gym, boot camps and exercise classes, isn’t it?) During this time of year I do pay extra attention to making sure that I am taking whatever vitamins or supplements that have been prescribed for me through my homeopathic doctor. I do find that I pay better attention to what I am eating, part of that may be the fact that I have more time to plan meals with a slower schedule. I also utilize my acupuncturist to help me through this challenging season.  I have given in to the fact that I should be catching up on all of the things I put off during the holiday season and I have given in to the idea that this is a great time of year to curl up and spend time with the books that I have been meaning to read, catching up on my Netflix and just plain resting and getting a nap in when I can,  or jump into bed early when my schedule allows. It isn’t seasonal depression – it is hibernation season!! My body needs to rest and renew!

 

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

I’ve heard of the “Freshman Fifteen” but Nobody Mentioned the “Awakening 15” to Me!

scaleIt is fair to say that my “Awakening” started at least two to three years ago to my knowledge. And with the Awakening has come many health issues, symptoms, including fatigue, and last but not least, weight gain. Nobody mentioned the weight gain to me! I have honestly packed on nearly 15. It may not sound like much to some, BUT it is noticeable to me and my wardrobe.

I have gone through ups and downs with weight, including post-baby weight. I’m also not a Spring Chicken anymore so things do change, but in the first year of me knowing I was in the Awakening process I probably gained 5 pounds. (Not horrible.) But this past two years I have packed on another 10!!! I go through my phases of exercising and physical activity but when I am off the wagon, as I am now, it is so hard to climb back on.

I know that there is a lot playing into this weight gain. Never mind the fatigue that I have experienced from my body changing or re-wiring itself over the past few years. Or the fatigue I experience after the Adrenalin rush of a spirit anxiety attack. And then, as an empath, I can take on different symptoms, like fatigue, from other people.  I know that extra weight is used as a protection mechanism.

I have read that during the Awakening process that the body can feel an influx of energies that are unfamiliar to it, and when the body is confused, or feels under attack, it seeks to defend itself, and one way it does that is by creating another layer of energy for protection – a.k.a. fat.  The body will use fat or mass in order to block out unfamiliar energies. I suppose that this makes sense, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I like it.

I have also learned that emotionally, we sometime put on weight like a layer of protection. We use it like bubble warp from the world. (I suppose keeping an awakening and spiritual gifts from others around you would potentially call for the feeling of extra protection.)

Then there are the cravings and coping mechanisms of food. Carbs are my favorite. Then sugar and salt like to work hand and hand. Alcohol is also my friend. Besides there is always a reason to be having a drink. (Right now it is patio drinking season.) Patio Drinking Season usually follows Halloween candy (and parties) in the neighborhood, followed by Thanksgiving then the rest of the holidays that seem to be a food fest and surrounded by alcoholic beverages – party as a coping mechanism to deal with family and relatives.

Regardless as to why this is happening to me right now, I feel like I’m helpless. I feel like it is out of my control. And in reality, I am sure that I can or should be able to regain control somehow. Some way.