Psychic Anxiety, Not Your Typical Anxiety Attack

Time and time again I have had episodes happen in my life and people around me, some who have my best interest at heart and others, well, we all have them… are quick to say, “Oh! It must be Anxiety!” Some will follow up by offering a doctor’s number, a prescription recommendation or breathing techniques, or even a change in diet. Others will suggest that I pray or recite a verse or two from the Bible when going through this.


Time and time again I have had episodes happen in my life and people around me, some who have my best interest at heart and others, well, we all have them… are quick to say, “Oh! It must be Anxiety!” Some will follow up by offering a doctor’s number, a prescription recommendation or breathing techniques, or even a chanpanic-attacksge in diet. Others will suggest that I pray or recite a verse or two from the Bible when going through this.

I have tried the praying thing and though I believe that there is a higher being in charge upstairs, the praying and Bible verse reciting doesn’t do a darn thing when you are in the thick of an attack.

The meds and doctors, well, I refuse to take a pill for this. (My husband who has really no knowledge of my spiritual gifts has told me time and time again to just go get something at the doctor to make me feel better. I have known others who have treated their anxiety with medication. Some say it helps, others, to me, are in a fog when they are on such medication.

I once had a chiropractor who specialized in nutrition once tell me that the foods I am eating could be tied in with panic attacks. I’ve tried eating differently at times, and I can’t say that I have found the perfect cure.

It has been awhile since I have had one of these extreme episodes and today was far from the worst that I had, but it was still no walk in the park. And to note, whenever I have one of these, I can’t usually seem to connect them to any certain thing going on in my life at the moment, any certain stressor or any specific trigger.

They. Just. Happen!

Today started out like any other morning. It is summer and the kids are off from school but summer camps are all in full swing. My husband is out of state, traveling for work, but that happens often. Right before I got the kids up to start the normal breakfast routine, I got some major itching. It was like having allergies, when your skin is itchy but it kept moving around my body and in all sorts of random places. It was such extreme itching that I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. (I’ve been down this path before, with the itching and doctors have chalked it up to hormones or allergies or at the end of the day, nothing that they can really pin point exactly. I’ve been subscribed all kinds of allergy meds and had all kinds of tests run. Nobody can ever really find what is really wrong with me.)

By the time the kids are up and we are doing our breakfast routine, I am itching like crazy, my body feels like it is vibrating and I feel the adrenaline start to rush. For a moment I did get a grip, because I felt the ringing in my ears that I get when Spirit tries to connect – though I can’t always hear what Spirit is trying to say – but then, I went back into panic mode as the ringing stopped, and the other feelings kept happening.

Since the overall feeling in my body didn’t feel right, and I am home alone with my husband out of state,  I decided to text my good friend and neighbor a street over checking to see if she’d be around today or have access to her phone in the event that I had an “emergency.” Before I got done sending her the text, my husband phones to check-in. I try explaining to him what is going on, BUT, as always, I am vague with the details and don’t fully explain everything, partially because I don’t think he takes it very seriously.

Once I sent the text to my friend, I calmed down a few minutes later. This is when things start to mess with my head. “Is it a panic attack and now that I told someone about how I am feeling it starts to go away? Great! How silly do I look?” or…I did ask God, Archangel Michael, and some of my other Guides to protect me, my children, my home and my husband (who is traveling). “Is this someone’s way to tell me everything is OK?” or “Is this someone telling me that things are NOT okay? That something bad is about to happen?” Then there is the “Wait! Am I having a real allergic reaction to something and do I need medical attention??” Better yet, “Am I about to have some sort of medical emergency with how my body feels right now?” 

Try playing the above in your head over and over again. You’ll go nuts – I have.

When it was time to take the kids to their camps, I was still feeling off, but improved – but cold. I felt cold. (“Is this my thyroid acting up??” Oh wait! That has been tested again recently. I was told all was fine.) I did my best to chat with a few parents and act as if nothing was wrong, something I’ve gotten good at over the past few years. I manage to get back to my car and run one quick errand at the grocery store, but during the errand, I felt like I was under water and shaky.

By the time I got home, I realized that I was just plain exhausted. This told me, it’s not allergies, it is not my thyroid, THIS was the crash after an adrenaline rush. Why would there be an adrenaline rush? Well, they usually show up with panic attacks.

For the next few hours I was drained. I tried to eat and hydrate with water. I didn’t feel close to myself again until I laid down for about 30 minutes or so. Not really to sleep but to recharge. Prior to laying down I did spray myself with some Palo Santo Oil (I usually mix a few drops with distilled water into a small spray bottle. I then ask that I be protected from any negative energies or spirits when I do this.) As I laid down, I asked to be grounded. I asked my Spirit Guides to protect me from any harsh or negative energies. (I pictured myself standing with them all around me shoulder to shoulder.) Then as I closed my eyes, I tried to connect with Source and envisioned myself standing in my back yard. I pictured a white light coming down from the sky and going down my whole body. I thought of my feet as roots and eventually thought of the light coming down through my body and going down one leg, while the other released anything negative or anything that didn’t serve me.

Once I got up, I felt the most normal that I have been all day. Not perfect, but the best that I had felt thus far.

I tried to spend some time during the afternoon outside. I played with some dirt in my garden as I moved a few plants around and watered a few things. I figured the fresh air and putting my hands in the dirt couldn’t hurt on a day like today.

I had the buzzing or ringing in my ears today off and on. Not as intense as this morning, but it has come and gone.

I often ask myself why I can’t figure out who is trying to contact me during these intense episodes, but I am in such a weird feeling place when it happens, I feel so blocked or locked up and can’t calm myself down to get anything. And even when I do, I still question it forward and backwards because I am so out of sorts.

Now that it is evening, I am still tired, but not as drained as I was. It won’t be until tomorrow that I will feel whole again.  Right when I think I have this Spirit thing or spiritual gifts figured out, I am reminded that I don’t. I am also reminded that the Universe will give you more (gifts) to handle, as you can handle it.

I have come across two helpful articles time and again which discuss psychic attacks (also referred to as “Spirit Pressure”) further. You may want to check them out:


Not Your Typical Lightworker Job

Yesterday in one of the Facebook groups that I belong to, the question was asked: “What do you do for a job?” Mine isn’t your typical job.

Many chimed in with jobs like Reiki Healing, Yoga Teacher, etc. I chimed in with mine:

I am a marketing consultant and event planner, which may not be your typical “healing job” but ironically at each event I assist with, or with each client I offer “business-related” assistance to, some sort of healing or divine connection takes place that can’t be ignored.

I then had a few people ask me to explain more about how I feel the healing or divine connections, so here are some examples in no particular order that I came up with.

Let me what-to-wear-to-a-client-meeting-professional-work-office-wear-attire-women-business-formal-suit-sheath-dress-fashion-style-blog-memorandum5start by saying that I don’t share publicly in my community (yet) the metaphysical side of myself, or the gifts that I possess, with too many people, so I approach many of my “regular” business meetings and events like any “normal” person would. (What is normal, LOL!) For example, I don’t walk into an event or meeting and provide people with readings or explain to them what I can do. With that said, I don’t necessarily put the “closed for business” sign up either, as daily I ask to be a conduit between the physical and spiritual world.

I recently helped to coordinate a fundraiser to raise awareness about a disease, as well as to raise money for research in the hopes of finding a cure. One of the contacts at the venue had a best friend who passed away three years ago from the same disease. (I kept getting a long “A” sound for the deceased friend and later found out that her last name had the long “A” sound to it.) The contact at the venue was instrumental in pulling a few strings for some special things for the event. She was not able to be on-site the day of event because she already committed to taking appointments that day to do hair for people who are shut in and unable to go and get their hair done. (This is important to note later, remember that she does hair on the side.) She was upset that she wasn’t able to be there, but she felt good doing things for the event prior. As if she was doing this for her friend who had passed. I could see it in her over the course of our planning meetings together.

Fast forward to the day of the event. My contact had a friend purchase some raffle tickets on her behalf, (again, she felt like she was doing this in support of her friend). Later that afternoon, she won a gift basket full of hair products. Something she could clearly use as someone who does hair on the side. And someone who doesn’t have access to getting discounted hair products. Confirmation of this was when the ticket was being drawn and her name was read. I got the tingling head thing that I get, followed by me tearing up a bit knowing what was really going on here. I truly believe that her friend had helped her win that prize from heaven. (I have seen things like this happen time and again and I call it being “gifted from heaven.”)

And if that wasn’t enough, my venue contact won again. She won the 50/50 drawing. (A 50/50 drawing is when participants buy raffle tickets for X-amount of money and the money raised is split with the winner and the event’s cause.) When she was told that she won, I could tell that she personally struggled with the idea of donating the money back to our cause, but at the end of the day, she needed it and her friend knew it. A few days later after the event, I could feel that her (my venue contact) energy was lighter.

Also at this event, every time I did a money drop, or when we counted up funds at the end of the event, I kept getting triple digit numbers somewhere within the dollar amounts – Angel numbers. This confirmation was for me, as I called in my guides and angels to assist me with the event and the numbers were confirmation for me that they were with me and working behind the scenes.

Another client of mine is a book author. She wrote about her journey after her husband’s unexpected death. I recently helped her to exhibit at her first author’s fair. (She knows about my gifts, but nobody else there was the wiser.) As we were setting up, there was a man that I kept crossing paths with. Holding doors for, making small talk with, etc. and low and behold, we go to my client’s space and find that he is right next to her! If that wasn’t enough, he authored a book about his late wife and the love letters and notes that they wrote to each other over the years. My client and the other author chatted off and on throughout the event. They kept comparing notes together about their similar grieving journeys. When my client would walk away from the table, he’d reach over and share with me parts of his personal story and I would confirm that my client went through similar thoughts, feeling and emotions. As we hit on different things you could see his face relax and sensed that he got some reassurance that he needed.

Additionally, he and my client exchanged information to meet for coffee someday. While I don’t feel that there is a love connection to be made here, I think that he is going to be an important stepping stone for my client both professionally and personally.

At this same event I took some time to check out some of the other authors in the room. There were two that I was drawn to. The first was an older gentleman who had a book that looked to have a paranormal theme to it. After first talking to him, I didn’t get much out of him and was confused why I felt the need to meet him and learn about his book series. Later, he approached me and we talked some more. He used to be a private detective and still does consulting work. (Bingo! This is why this was important!) I eventually would like to use my gifts to help with unsolved cases and missing persons cases. He and I exchanged contact information and after the event we exchanged a few emails a few days later. I came clean about my gifts to him. He told me that his books have to do with a detective who learned of his gifts while trying to solve a case. He did ask to meet up for coffee someday in the future, and though I don’t feel the need to meet up with him right now, we aren’t done yet – we will circle back to each other and I feel it may be for a case that may need some help someday.

Sometimes I learn things about me and things that help me to grow while working. Years ago when I was at a marketing event, I sat with a lady from the office that I was representing. She shared with me that she thinks she was put on this earth to give people messages. For example, she could be on a bus, and share with a complete stranger something that they needed to hear. This took place prior to (what I think was) the start of my awakening. I thought that the concept neat and she woke my mind to the idea of this. (Little did I know that I would be doing the same someday myself.) Later in the event, as we got more comfortable with each other, she dropped a big hint to me that a specific man in the office was “A really great man. A great husband and a great father.” (She laid it on thick and I felt some zinging energy at the end of the statement that she made to me. Again, this is before I understood all that I am and the gifts that I possess.) The statement, because of how it was delivered, sat with me for a moment. I felt myself going over my own actions in my head. I then realized that though she delivered that statement to me, that the message was more for HIM. (This is one of those times that you wish you had responded back in a witty way, but thought of the comeback too late. Something like: “Maybe you should remind him that he is a good husband and father.”)

And, it was my second job out of college where I befriended a co-worker who was instrumental in putting me in touch with the lady who did my very first reading. She would also share with me the signs and symbols that she would get from her mother who had passed, which helped me to expand my understanding of the other side.

One time, when I was going around town gathering raffle prizes from local businesses I had arranged a time to go and pick a gift certificate from a local business. I have done business with the owner in the past and was aware of some of her ongoing health issues. Additionally, at that time (thanks to social media) I knew that she was in a negative funk. While I was picking up the certificate, she unloaded on me some of her troubles. It hit me that my purpose was not so much for the gift certificate, but for giving her some positive energy (and a different perspective on things) to help her to negate the negative energy around her.  (I tend to need a nap after such encounters.) Later I got validation that things were more positive for her.

I can go on and on and expand on these, but I think that this is enough for now.

Until next time.

Love & Light!


Which Came First? The Firemen or the Smoke Alarm?

The alarm didn’t go off as if there was a fire or that the battery was going dead. The dog and I were the only ones who heard it in the house.

So last night was interesting. There were storms in the area, and unfortunately a few tornadoes touched down in towns nearby. During one of the earlier storms in the evening, while my husband was downstairs with the kids (they feel safer down there and can’t hear the rumbling as much, I “felt” like, or envisioned that three men came to the front door. At first they seemed to be dressed in layers, dirty, and at least one of them was carrying something. It made me feel uneasy so I asked for protection from my usual helpers. Then I sort of let this go, though I found myself double checking to make sure that doors were locked.

Later that night with more storms coming and going, we all ended up in the basement. All of the kids wanted to sleep down there, and wanted me and my husband with them. So after we all kept changing sleeping places, trying to get comfortable, I end up on the floor. I kept hearing the dog shuffle around and I kept asking my guides and St. Francis to calm him down so we could rest. Then it happened.  Over the side of the couch popped up 3 men. All standing close together. Almost like a triangle with one in front and then another behind each shoulder of his. I felt like they were firemen. Dressed in gear. I couldn’t tell if the gear was old or just dirty from use. They seemed to have dirty faces as well, as if they just fought a fire. I wouldn’t really say that I saw them in “color” but it also wasn’t “black and white” more like an “aged sepia” color.  I could see lips moving from the one in front but I couldn’t figure anything out. I remember asking for protection and asking Archangel Michael to help them to cross over but I don’t think that I formally did. (I did more of an ask as opposed to the process.) I feel that I did it haphazardly.

I tried to get settled in again and try to get back to sleep. Then, out of nowhere, our smoke alarm (one of them from upstairs) goes off. It didn’t go off as if there was a fire, (it would have kept going) or that the battery was going dead (it chirps then.) It did go off long enough, though.  The dog heard it too, as he started to bark at the sound as he does when he ears it. (A great back up safety measure I hope that we never have to use.) I immediately got my husband up to let him know what was going on. (The kids never woke during any of this, which is odd.) My husband told me that he didn’t hear anything and at first was ready to question what I heard, but then he saw how the dog was reacting so he went upstairs to check things out.

Eventually I followed him up, though feeling bad I was leaving my children in the basement in case there was a fire. Once upstairs, he checked the house and all of the smoke detectors. Nothing! No smoke! No fire! And no dead batteries!!!! The noise also never happened again. It took me a few minutes to piece together that I just saw the firemen in the basement right before this happened. Hmm…  So I then asked the firemen to quit with the smoke alarm unless it is a real emergency, (free will) as I don’t want anyone woken up at night and I don’t want the kids scared.

A little later, once the dog and even the weather calmed down, he asked to go outside. I then thought that I saw one, but realized that maybe it was 2 firemen sitting on my patio wall. They were sitting and breathing heavy as if they were resting after putting a fire out. No joke! I also thought that maybe they were sitting outside after I scolded them about the fire alarm. Sort of like they were trying to be polite. After coming back into the house, I asked Archangel Michel to send them into the light. At some point that night while trying to sleep in the family room (I moved from the basement, I needed more room) I thought that I heard footsteps a few different times. Like man’s shoes. Big feet. No clue if the sound was related to the firemen or another spirit. Needless to say, after all of the excitement, I didn’t sleep real well through the rest of the night.

This  morning I am still processing what happened. I also looked up if 3 firemen have recently died. (Not that I can put together.) There were three that passed at the same time back in 1985, but that seems like a while ago for them to still be lingering, no? Oh, and did I mention that I have a close relative who used to work in the Fire Service? I can’t get that to fit in this puzzle either. Also, three people passed in last night storms, none of which I can connect the fireman part to. This morning I meditated a bit to try to get answers. I got a vision of a fire fighter near a tall building, like in a city or large town. (Not a skyscraper.) I also got the vision of an infant. But that is all. As a precautionary I formally, again tried to cross over the three firemen. I feel like I only had 2 with me today and I am also confused by seeing only 2 on the patio last night so I am wondering if it took a few tries to get them all crossed over?

Whatever really happened last night is still being processed and replayed in my head. I am not scared by it. I just want to make sure I handle my gifts correctly. – MBH

Confirmation that Angels Do Hear Our Requests

Archangel Raphael heard my request and he is sending me his protection (green rays of light) so that my health stays abundant.

Today I was as my local cosmetic store for an eyebrow appointment with my usual gal. While she was working on me, we talked about how she wasn’t feeling well. She talked about how she was feeling nauseous. She said that this is something that she suffered from on and off for many years. She said that she had been to specialists trying to get to the root of what is causing this, but she has yet to find a definite answer. Before she got into her story about the many doctors she saw, I was first worried that maybe she had the flu! (It has been going around.) I immediately thought to ask Archangel Raphael for his healing light to protect me from her ailments.  (Archangel Raphael is main archangel who oversees healing for living beings on Earth.)


When it was time to check-out, there was only an employee up at the counter. No customers ahead of me, and none behind me. As I walked up, I couldn’t help but to notice something on the counter. It was green. A green feather. Not like the kind of feather you find from a bird, more like one you find from a feather boa. Still odd because the cosmetic store doesn’t sell any feather boas. I snapped a picture of it with my phone. I took the green feather as a message that

Messages are all around us, we just need to notice them. And Angels are there to help, guide and protect us. We just need to ask them to do so. – MBH

Angel Confetti

Angels and Guides send feathers as a sign of unconditional love, and to show that they are near, and that they hear, guide and support us from above.

The kids are back in school and this morning I was up making lunches and getting breakfast prepared. The house is still quiet the kids are still in bed and my husband got home after 11:30pm the evening before from a work trip. As I am at the counter I look outside the kitchen window to see a female hawk sitting on one of our patio chairs. (The table set is actually pretty close to the kitchen window so I was a bit surprised that she came so close to the house.)

She looked at me a few times. I attempted to get a photo of her through the kitchen window but didn’t do so well as I didn’t want to move the window blinds and disturb her. When that didn’t work I tried to take one from the back door. Again, not a great photo. (Sorry.) She then flew up to the top of the kids’ play-set and then I saw her fly to a neighbor’s roof. I thought to myself: “Good Morning, Spirit!” Some say that a hawk can symbolize the growth of psychic abilities, especially clairvoyance. I guess only time will tell…

As the day when on, I saw 1:11 come around, 2:22 and then 3:33 on various clocks. Something is in sync for sure, I chuckled to myself when I reflect on it.

Later in the evening while sitting on the patio with a glass of wine, and watching the kids play, my youngest finds the most perfect, little feather (maybe from a dove) in the yard. She saved it and put it in her special feather jar. Before she took it in, I looked at it. It was the most perfect shape and the neatest gray color I’ve seen. (“Thank you!” I acknowledged to the Universe). There were also some very small, various-sized feathers blowing around on the patio. Sort of like angel confetti, I thought. They weren’t there earlier in the day. And they surely weren’t feathers from the Hawk.  (Again, I thought, “Thank you!!!”)

I believe (and have seen, time and time again) that Angels and Guides send feathers as a sign of unconditional love, and to show that they are near, and that they hear, guide and support us from above.

The Butterfly!

the butterfly is seen as a deep and powerful representations of life. It is widely viewed as a positive symbol of personal transformation, freedom from previous struggles, as well as a symbol of renewal and hope.

We found this beauty in our yard this afternoon. Quite stunning I must say… my youngest and I wpicture_savedere in our side yard today. A place that we don’t normally hang out. I thought I was at first looking at a leaf in the grass until I realized, it was a beautiful butterfly!!! (I immediately ran inside to grab my camera!)

Although specific meanings vary from culture to culture, the butterfly is seen as a deep and powerful representations of life. It is widely viewed as a positive symbol of personal transformation, freedom from previous struggles, as well as a symbol of renewal and hope. (Hmm, all of these fit the bill for me, right about now!)

 Many cultures and religions associate the butterfly with our souls. Christians view the butterfly as a symbol of resurrection. While others regard the butterfly as a “bringer of dreams”, or as a symbol of luck. Many also believe that angels use butterflies to remind us of their presence.

Whatever you believe, they sure are a beautiful creature!

Angels Speak Through Children

Angels speak through my child to remind me that they are surrounding me with their love.

So today, my littlest one came dancing down the stairs as I was making dinner. She commented, “Angels are everywhere!” as she danced around the room. It took me a minute to let what she said sink in.

I asked her, “Can you see them”? She said, “No,” as she kept on dancing.

I just smiled to myself and took it as a reminder that THEY are everywhere. THEY are always around us. And Angels speak through my child to remind me that they are surrounding me with their love. – MBH