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A Reminder that Clairvoyant Images can be Metaphors

I had a situation occur just this past weekend that reminded me that clairvoyant images can be metaphors and that those visions are necessarily to be taken literally all of the time.

I am Clairvoyant. Clairvoyance is the psychic sense of sight. It literally means “clear seeing.” A Clairvoyant can see things from both the past as well as the future.

The other night was our last night in a hotel room during an out-of-town stay. The room was cool and the T.V. was on in the background. While drifting off to sleep, I got a vision of our house back at home. Because I was falling asleep, I felt like this was a dream. In my vision, the garage door was left wide open. As I saw this, I felt a knot in my stomach and some adrenaline shoot through my body as we have been gone for two days now and the thought of leaving my house wide-open like that made me feel very uncomfortable.

stolen tvIn the vision, I walked through the open garage and into our house. I looked around and saw that our house looked ransacked and our television was gone. I recall that I made the kids go outside and wait and then I walked alongside some policemen to evaluate what else had happened or was taken from inside my home. The vision ended there.

After the vision, (my eyes wide open at this point) I said an extra prayer of protection for our home. I told myself that if our garage was open for two days that one of our neighbors would have called or texted me – hopefully.

After being asleep for a few hours, I woke in the middle of the night to what I thought was a car alarm going on and off a few times. I remember feeling groggy. I also remember visualizing my husband laying in the bed next to me (which he was because we had our kids with us) with his car keys in his pocket and him laying on them, making the panic alarm go off and on. I then drifted back to sleep.

The next morning, we get up and I have a cup of coffee and we hit the road. (My husband found some Starbucks coffee in the hotel and brought it up to the room. I don’t drink Starbucks coffee very regularly. I find it to be too strong for me, but when that is all there is, you make do.)

As we are leaving, we head to the parking garage with the kids and throw our luggage into the back of his vehicle.  As he put the key in the ignition, I see him looking at his dashboard funny and I ask if he has enough gas? He replies “yes” but then I still see him still eyeing the dashboard funny.  I then look over and see that the dashboard reads something about the anti-theft devise was detected because of an attempt to break-in. We look at each other and think, Oh! wow! I think we both thought that because it said “attempt” that nothing had really happened to his vehicle the evening before. He claimed that the vehicle was locked all night and I was pretty sure that I had heard him lock things up before we left the vehicle the last time.

car-break-in-riskAs we pull out of the parking garage, I started to feel anxious, I blamed it on too much caffeine in the Starbucks coffee that I just had. Then… about 15 min later, I look down at his console. He normally has a few dollars of quarters sitting there for parking purposes. I notice there was just one sitting there. I asked him if he took or used the quarters and he said no. He then asked if I did. I had not. I then checked the glove box and the console compartment. The glove box looked untouched, but the center console looked like someone “swished” things around as everything looked disheveled but we didn’t notice anything actually missing. In my mind, I kept seeing a male hand in the vehicle.

Then, like a ton of bricks, it hits me!

I had the vision of my house being robbed last night and then this happened. The house was just symbolism or a metaphor. Perhaps the garage door being open was also symbolism for the vehicle being unlocked? And my TV being taken was a metaphor for our property or something that was ours or of value. Wow!! I had also recalled the sound of the car alarm in the middle of the night. My husband said that he didn’t hear anything, but he sleeps through anything. I haven’t had a chance to ask if anyone else staying at the hotel (we were there with a group we know) had heard anything or not. (The night before I had heard singing in the street below us in the middle of the night but nobody else in our group had heard it. I do have clairaudient abilities, but that isn’t the focus of this blog post.)

 When we arrived home, I quickly went into the house to see if anything was out of place or gone. Everything was just how we left it two days before. I was reminded that images and visions aren’t always to be taken literally and that sometimes the images that I get are metaphors for something else.

 

Here is one Example How I use Mirrors to Deflect Negative “Stuff” or Bad Vibes Away from Me and My Home

Here is one Example How I use Mirrors to Deflect Negative “Stuff” or Bad Vibes Away from Me and My Home

I have three mirrored balls on display in the front of my house. To most, they probably just look like lawn ornaments, but they really have a purpose for being there.

As a reminder, the stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. Without my experiences, I wouldn’t be where I am now. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.

Bad vibes such as negativity, bitterness and envy are everywhere and can’t always be avoided. As my gifts and sensitivities have increased, I have noticed that negative energy affects me more and more. As I have learned some tips and tricks that have helped me along the way and I have shared them with others in this blog, as well as in different social media groups. Today I am going share with you how mirrors have helped my personal space.

A few years ago, I went to have a reading done from my regular, go-to gal, and she picked up on some negative energy that was coming into my home (also known as a “Psychic Attack”) from a neighbor who lived across the street from me.  A psychic attack is when someone intentionally or unintentionally directs harmful energy (either mentally or physically) at someone else. This usually happens while they are in a state of anger, jealousy, envy or hate.

Symptoms of a psychic attack can include: Aches, pains and/or migraines; Feeling angry at others or yourself for no logical reason; Feeling draineExamples of a Psychic Attack-2d; Lack of memory and concentration; Nightmares; Panic Attacks; Pressure in your chest or in your third eye chakra; and/or sensing negative energy around you

I went through the neighbors who lived across from my house and described them. Through my descriptions and the information that the intuitive was receiving, we figured out which neighbor it was. (I wasn’t surprised.)  The Intuitive suggested that I put a mirror on the wall that faces her house, across from the window, to reflect the energy that was coming in. Another alternative that she suggested was to place a compact mirror in the window and have it face outward.

I took this advice seriously. At the time of this reading, I was at the beginning of my Awakening Journey and my body and health never felt right. I figured it can’t hurt and what do I have to lose? I tired and I tried to decorate the room that faced this particular neighbor time and again with a mirror on the wall, but it never seemed to feel quite right to me. I’d re-arrange the furniture in the room time and time again, trying to get the room to accommodate a mirror.  I also explored the idea of putting a mirror on a stand and on a table that would reflect the negative energy back out. When that wasn’t coming together, I looked into getting some sort of mirror that I could hang in the window, but I figured that would look odd when looking at the house from the outside so I gave up on that idea.

In the meantime, through other energy work sessions that I had done, this particular neighbor kept coming up. In one secession it was explained to me that the back pain that I was experiencing had to do with the “back-stabbing” that this particular neighbor was doing to me. Another time the topic of psychic attack came up and this particular neighbor came up as the person who was behind it.

fountain 2Then one day, about a year after being advised to reflect the negative energy out of my home, it hit me! Why couldn’t I put something outside that would reflect the energy? Realistically it probably isn’t a bad idea to put such mirrors reflecting all around the perimeter of my house, they do get pricey, so I figured that I would start with the part that faced the neighbor.  I found some mirrored spheres and put them in a fountain that I used as a flower bed. It is raised up in front of my window of the particular room that was allowing this energy into my home. Ever since then, the energy of this particular neighbor has no longer bothered me and the feeling in the rooms that face her house are much lighter.

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Spirit said, “Watch and Observe!”

I witnessed something last week that reminded me that if we listen to our inner voice (Spirit, or Higher Self), and if we pay attention to the signs around us, we can use both as hints on the road map of life here in the physical world.

Before I dive into this story, I want to remind you that the stories and topics that I share here in my blog and in my other writings, are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I do my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you. In the case of this story, I do need to provide a few extra details about the subjects in order for you to understand the story, as I have lived it.

One of my children is involved with a local spots organization and as a whole it is a great organization to belong to, but just like anything else, it takes only a few bad (toxic) apples to spoil the bunch. Recently, there has been a family in our organization who has caused headaches for the coaching staff, spread negativity and proved their dishonestly over and over again, at least through my intuitive, empathic eyes. (I discuss how you can protect your own energy from toxic people in my Coffee Conversation and Transformation blog in this post.) At times, I also question if I am the only one seeing this crap, being too sensitive, or if others notice and pick up on it as well. And if they are noticing, are they okay with it? Do they agree with it? Do they see nothing wrong with it?

Time and time again I do second guess the information that I receive through my gifts. (I don’t actively read people I come in contact with, but I do tend to receive information on people who irritate my spirit. Those who irritate my spirit actually teach me something. Sometimes about myself, sometimes on how to translate different energies that I feel, sometimes to show me how far I have come along on my path. Other times “irritation” comes over me because it is a nudge to deliver a message to someone.) In this case, as recently as last week, I was starting to question my own thoughts towards the family that I describe as toxic. I was wondering if maybe I am too over sensitive and that these people really aren’t that bad? Maybe I’m just a b*tch and I am the crazy one here and everyone else is okay with their behavior?? As I am thinking this, I am in my car and pull up to a stop light. As I am sitting there, I hear, “watch and observe.” I took the message as watch and observe everyone around me, and not anybody in particular

As the week went on, I kept seeing similar vehicles around town just like what the family I have been second guessing myself on drives. Not just once or twice, but many, many times. It was never their vehicle or them in it, but a similar make, model and color. Towards the end of the week, it was almost comical how many vehicles I saw that matched theirs. This has happened to me before, when I see signs and symbols and a person pops into my head. I have learned to simply send love and light or to say a prayer for that person to give them whatever they need at that moment. A few times when I saw the similar vehicles, I DID send love and light to the family. We never know what battles people are dealing with behind closed doors.

I showed up to the next sporting event still wondering if I am wrong for what I think, feel and sense about these people. Before things got started, the mother chatted with a group of us and the conversation is light and airy. Again, I started to think, “Maybe I’m just crazy?” Maybe I am the one with the issue and is she really is not that bad? Maybe I am being too judge-y? But then I did notice that when I tried to engage in conversation, I found myself shutting down and not able to contribute to the conversation or make any eye contact. I also noticed that my body was always turned sideways away from the mother and the rest of the (extended) family. (As a reminder, Empaths shut down around inauthentic people.)

We made it through the game that day. The next day we sat through another game. The family was socially quieter and more to themselves, though the mother didn’t have any issues telling our coaches that they were in the wrong when it came to how they instructed her child on the field that day. I continued to be my usual self at the games and chatted as I normally did with those around me. I did find myself watching and observing more, but nothing earth shattering to make rhyme or reason out of took place.

By the third and final day, I had sort of forgotten about the whole “watch and observe” message. Two games took place back to back. After each game an MVP award was awarded to a player on each team. While in some cases it is an honor to get an MVP award because the child who is awarded it truly DID go above and beyond to help his team out, overall the MVP award is a joke and a money maker for an outside company whose goal is to gather a solicitation list of kids and their families together to go, play and spend a lot of money at Disney. What I’m trying to say is that the award doesn’t necessarily hold much water, but it can be a proud moment for a player and their family. Because two games were played that day, two awards were given out – each time to a kid who wasn’t related to the family that I have had in question. And nobody else on the sidelines around me questioned who was picked.

After the second award was given out, the family didn’t hide their dismay. Their body language showed it. You heard them grumbling, and myself, being energy sensitive, felt the discontent and anger from them come over me like a tidal wave.

parents youth sportsOne relative, in a loud and angry tone, (in front of other parents and players) went up to our head coach to voice her dismay that the child related to her didn’t win the MVP award when he should have. She claimed that we only won because of that specific child. (Mind you the kid did a better job in the first game and this is after the second game.) The mother also chimed in during the confrontation. The first relative continued to throw down more anger at the coach and then walked away, but he called her back to finish the conversation that she started. The rest of the family/extended family just stood off to the side staring at the confrontation. No attempt to pull their people back or to talk them off of the ledge. As everyone waited around and gathered their belongings, the team and parents were grouped all together in one cluster, and these other people were off in a corner, arms crossed and pissed off faces, all by themselves.

It took me a day or so to process all that had taken place. I watched and observed and the truth came out from the question that had been weighing on my mind. Not just for me to see, but for multiple people around me to see as well.

Some time had passed until we had another game. (A cooling off period was probably a good idea.) This family, as well as their extended family, showed up to the next game like nothing ever happened. (Personally, I feel that one’s apology should be as LOUD as one’s disrespect. And in this case, the apology needed to go to the organization as a whole since so many people where witness to the confrontation.)

I share this experience with you to remind you to watch for the signs and symbols that are around you. Look for patterns. Look for things that keep crossing your path. Also, we all have that little voice in our head that offers us advice — if we choose to listen to it. I say, listen to it. That voice doesn’t lie. And if you have something weighing on your mind, ask Spirit to show you an answer or to give you clarity. If you are paying attention, you will get an answer by observing what you hear and see.

It is hard to share the messages that I get when the receiver might not be ready, open, able or wanting to hear them. I also find it challenging to explain “How I know things.”

From time to time I have received messages that aren’t able to be shared. Sometimes they can’t be shared because I don’t feel that the person will believe me. I feel that they will question or disregard how I got the information that I am passing along. Other times, for whatever reason, people are no longer in communication with you or they don’t reply to previous communications you have sent regarding other matters, so why would a message from the other side get any more or less attention from them?  I’ll share two experiences with you. One had to do with a family losing a pet after a long illness, the other had to do with warning someone about how their emotions could play a role in the future of their health.

39fb2715950f87679aa2f16c1904459bA Message from a Pet

I knew a family who I chatted with often. Often enough that their dog knew me and would greet me when he would see me. In recent years, the dog became sick and the family did their best to slow down his deterioration and to keep him comfortable.  Eventually the family had to make the decision to put the dog down.  One late afternoon within a month of the dog passing, and within minutes of chatting with a member of the family, I was in my garage looking for something when I saw the dog that had recently passed, literally pass through my garage. It was as if he was playing or chasing after something or someone. He made eye contact with me and on his way by, he said, “I’m, OK. Can you let them know that I am OK?” (So far in my “mediumship experience” animals in spirit form sound like humans to me and sound like they are talking just as you and I would.) I debated on how I should explain this message to the family and I eventually just chickened out. Looking back, I feel that I should have struck up a conversation about the dog and mentioned that I am sure he’s out of pain and OK on the other side, but by me changing the message a bit I felt that it would lose its authenticity so I chickened out. And now, so much time has passed, it seems even more awkward to bring it up now.

It is Too Bad that I Can’t Tell You to Check Yourself before You Wreck Yourself.

In another instance, I was clueless in how to get a message to a toxic person who doesn’t respond to you when you have tried to reach out to them for other things (i.e. invites to holiday gatherings, congratulatory messages and wishes and acknowledgements, etc.). This person has also done their best to avoid me at certain functions. I’m sure to a certain degree I’m done beating my head against a wall, based on my prior attempts with non-spiritual communication with this person. A no response (repeatedly) IS a response, and the older I get, I no longer chase people. I know, not very “love and light” sounding,  but my own ego aside, my gut feeling is that the message that I heard from the other side will not be received well, processed, or heard, and in fact, based on the person who it is for, will cause more problems and tension.

An example of this is when I received a message about the possible future outcome of this person’s health. Normally I don’t like to share with people if I think they have an illness, disease or when I think their days are numbered. In certain cases, depending on who they are or what my relationship is with them, and what they directly ask me to tell them I may share a bit more with the person, but as a general rule, I don’t like to give out medical or health-related information that I pick up on. In this case though, this was more of a “preventative” health message.

This individual tends to hold grudges, many time fictional grudges. She tends to hold in anger, exclude people and she talks more than she listens and I once received a message in regard to her health. The message was:  “If she didn’t learn how to release the anger she carries, it is going to fester into a disease.” The disease I picked up on (and had verified by another intuitive) was cancer. (This individual already had survived a bout with cancer in one part of her body and is now in complete remission.) I first thought that perhaps my wires were getting crossed and the cancer that I was picking up on was the cancer she had already had. But no, I got validation (as well as from an additional intuitive) that if she doesn’t learn to let go of her anger, and change her ways, her anger is going to fester into cancer. I felt that is going to be bone cancer of some sort. I also felt that she will hold at least one of her grandchildren (I am guessing a granddaughter is first) here in the physical word before she gets sick and passes. Possibly two.

olive branchKind of a juicy message, no??

(You’ll notice that I had a second intuitive validate the information that I got. It is ok to use other people to help you to validate if the information you are getting is correct or not, or to see if your head is getting in the way of your intuition.)

Since getting this message I have extended the olive branch to both this individual as well as to some of her surrounding family members with little to no success. Perhaps someday I will be given the opportunity to deliver it, if it is not too late. All I can do in the meantime is send healing energy in that person’s direction. It is hard to share the messages that I get when the receiver isn’t ready, open, able or wanting to hear them.

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April 15th – Tax Day and a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis

After my faux heart attack back in November numerous tests were run through my Primary Care Physician and at my request I had testing done through a cardiologist as well. (My stress test was done nearly 5 years to the week of my previous one.) My Primary Physician didn’t think that I needed to bother with seeing a Cardiologist, but her hit ratio with diagnosing me in the past had been subpar. (I always think about changing doctors, but then I go long periods without having any issues. During those quiet times I should be forming a relationship with another physician, but then life gets in the way and finding a new Primary Care Physician gets pushed to the bottom of the list. )

During one of my follow up visits with my Primary Care Physician, she suggested that I go and see a Rheumatologist to look into the possibility of me having Fibromyalgia. Naturally, I didn’t care for the one that she suggested so I asked around and found another one who I had a reference on.

Per the Mayo Clinic, Fibromyalgia is: a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.

Symptoms

Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

  • Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
  • Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
  • Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as “fibro fog” impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.

Fibromyalgia often co-exists with other painful conditions, such as:

  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Migraine and other types of headaches
  • Interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome
  • Temporomandibular joint disorders

fibro1I will admit, when I have researched Fibromyalgia online, I do check many of the boxes, but I also know that my thoughts are my reality so I keep mentally not owning the possibility of such a diagnosis. For me, I feel like a Fibromyalgia Diagnosis would be a death sentence. Many of the symptoms ALSO overlap with those that have to do with the Awakening Process. In my opinion, Fibromyalgia is a “bucket” that people are put in when doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with them.

Over the last few years, I have learned of more and more people that I know being diagnosed with Fibro. Many of them are Lightworkers, Empaths, Energy Workers, and most have some sort of psychic ability.  (I have a hunch that Fibromyagia may have to do some people’s rise in frequency and vibratory level, but we can discuss that another time.) Previous to those people having it, my experience with knowing others who have had the disease was a direct correlation to their own poor lifestyle choices. (The type of lifestyle choices that could be picked out a mile away.) And though many will tell you it is not a curable disease, I will tell you that I know a gal who was once diagnosed with Fibro but now doesn’t carry ANY of the symptoms of it.

I have also read many reasons/causes for Fibro including. Per WebMD, causes of Fibro can include from:

  • Genes. Fibromyalgia seems to run in families. Your parents may pass on genes that make you more sensitive to pain. Other genes can also make you more likely to feel anxious or depressed, which makes pain worse.
  • Other diseases. A painful disease like arthritis or an infection raises your chances of getting fibromyalgia.
  • Emotional or physical abuse. Children who are abused are more likely to have the condition when they grow up. This may happen because abuse changes the way the brain handles pain and stress.
  • Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some people have this mental health problem after a terrible event, like war, a car crash, or rape. These events are also linked to fibromyalgia in some people.
  • Gender. The condition is much more common in women than men. Doctors think this could be related to differences in the way men and women feel and react to pain, as well as how society expects them to respond to pain.
  • Anxiety and depression. These and other mood disorders seem linked to fibromyalgia, though there’s no proof that they actually cause the condition.
  • Not moving enough. The condition is much more common in people who aren’t physically active. Exercise is one of the best treatments for fibromyalgia you already have. It can help turn the pain volume down.

From a Holistic Health Standpoint, I found this information from a site called: Heavenly Earth Projects. (There was too much good information not to share.)

From the Conventional Medical perspective, fibromyalgia and cancer are unrelated, yet from the soul perspective, they are both caused by old soul trauma and disconnection.  From the Holistic Health perspective, the spiritual cause of this condition is a deep weariness of the soul.   The individual has lived many, many past lives which have been physically, mentally and emotionally demanding.  The effects of these negative vibrations are carried through in the DNA, and stored as toxins in the cellular memory of the body.

Toxins in the physical body cells are also a contributing factor in many cases.  Mercury fillings, heavy metals, processed foods, chemicals/pesticides and so on.  Detoxification of the physical body is important, and is also initiated with a Forensic Healing session.

Common Past Life experiences:

  • adventure, exploration, war, physical endurance in extreme conditions
  • pushing beyond normal limits, even through pain
  • self sacrifice of body and mind, to achieve goals and avoid emotional self
  • experienced severe woundings, torture, because of intuitive/healing abilities

These past life experiences can also result in other types of dis-ease, however, my understanding is that fibromyalgia is triggered by unresolved emotional issues relating to family, and can also be carried in the ancestral DNA.  Though it is not hereditary, it can ‘cluster’ within families.

Common behaviours of a person with Fibromyalgia

  • helpful, responsible people who hurt themselves in their eagerness to please others, particularly family, and are not able to express how they feel
  • busy, tense, driven, stressed
  • lack proper boundaries
  • don’t balance activity with rest
  • doormat for others
  • less tolerance/patience for others, and holds this inside, causing inner pain.  This resistance affects the nervous system, causing sleep disorders and pain
  • lack of life force energy
  • pain is used to avoid addressing emotional issues (the pain is actually the indicator of unresolved emotional issues)
  • the immobilisation of the body also helps the person avoid the natural expression of emotional energy via movement.
  • psychological pain is stored in the muscles.  Anger, fear, guilt are all stored in the body.  There is a deep desire for change but an inner resistance to making it, due to fear, resulting from past life experience.
  • back pain indicates something out of reach, and out of sight.  These are emotions or issues that we are not ready to face.
  • obligated to others, leaving little time for self
  • feel loyal to family but there is conflict in the relationships – you feel trapped, hurt or helpless in the situation.  You want to walk away but feel obligated to family member.
  • you need some emotional nurturing.  You nurture the emotions of others, to the exclusion of your own.

And Per Louise Hay: When a person is under stress, the body reacts and tenses. Stiffness and pain is felt in the fibrous tissues, usually deep within the muscles yet there is nothing wrong with the muscles themselves. Stiffness is a result of rigid and stiff thinking. Tension, fear and holding on result in the body cramping and gripping. Affirm: I move easily and comfortably. My feet dance through life!

paint.jpgWell, today is April 15, Tax Day here in the United States. I had a long-awaited appointment (it took nearly 3 months to get) with a rheumatologist. My appointment was the first one of the day at 8am.

I went through a brief description of my health history, including the mysterious symptoms (some I now know to be metaphysically related but no need to mention that to a doctor who specializes in Western Medicine.) She did an exam and supposedly had my blood work from my Primary Care Physician. She asked me a ton of questions, which I appreciated as many doctors these days don’t seem to have the time to get to know you or your heath situation.

She then told me “I am giving you a Fibro diagnosis. You have Fibro but no autoimmune disease at this time. By me giving you a diagnosis, you don’t need to keep going back for further testing. Testing that would could lead to things like more radiation or even lead to finding something that in your body that ‘God gave you’ that isn’t causing you any harm, but others may say that it is a concern or need to be taken out. No medication is needed at this time. Yoga and Talk Therapy will help you.”

These words didn’t hit me until she left the room – was she doing me a favor by ending this train ride?? I know that I have some internal work and healing to do. I’ve always felt the push to do yoga and honestly, the Talk Therapy makes sense as I have not shared my symptoms, spiritual gifts and metaphysical experiences from many.

Did she on some level know that more testing would lead to something that didn’t need to happen? A surgery? A treatment? (The drugs necessary for treating Fibro would be a cocktail of a few different drugs, per her and my conversation I am already medically sensitive to medicines. I can’t imagine being on those that we’d have to fish around trying to find a correct dose for.) So did she do me a favor with a diagnosis that I was trying to avoid? (I’m going with “yes” on this.)

Right now I am just processing the idea that I have this diagnosis. I am still trying to “not own it.” I also think that there is something more “bigger picture” when it comes to Lightworkers and those of us with gifts.  We’ll see what happens. Stay tuned.

How to put your Tarot Deck in Order

A few months ago, I wrote about “How to Cleanse or Clear Your Tarot Cards” and in the post I mentioned that after I cleanse mine, I put them back in order. It can be hard to know what order to put the deck back in as there are 72 cards in the deck.

Tarot decks contain two groups of cards: Twenty-two trump cards (Major Arcana) and fifty-six suit cards (Minor Arcana). The Major Arcana cards are the 0-21 numbered cards and the Minor Arcana contain four suites of cards (Wands, Cups, Swords and Pentacles – in that order) with 14 cards in each suite.

Here is order that you will want to put your deck together in. Starting with the “0” or “The Fool” card:

MAJOR ARCANA

The Fool

The Magician

The High Priestess

The Empress

The Emperor

The Hierophant

The Lovers

The Chariot

Strength

The Hermit

Wheel of Fortune

Justice

The Hanged Man

Death

Temperance

The Devil

The Tower

The Star

The Moon

The Sun

Judgment

The World

 

MINOR ARCANA

Suite of Wands

Ace of Wands

Two of Wands

Three of Wands

Four of Wands

Five of Wands

Six of Wands

Seven of Wands

Eight of Wands

Nine of Wands

Ten of Wands

Page of Wands

Knight of Wands

Queen of Wands

King of Wands

 

Suite of Cups

Ace of Cups

Two of Cups

Three of Cups

Four of Cups

Five of Cups

Six of Cups

Seven of Cups

Eight of Cups

Nine of Cups

Ten of Cups

Page of Cups

Knight of Cups

Queen of Cups

King of Cups

 

Suite of Swords

Ace of Swords

Two of Swords

Three of Swords

Four of Swords

Five of Swords

Six of Swords

Seven of Swords

Eight of Swords

Nine of Swords

Ten of Swords

Page of Swords

Knight of Swords

Queen of Swords

King of Swords

 

Suite of Pentacles

Ace of Pentacles

Two of Pentacles

Three of Pentacles

Four of Pentacles

Five of Pentacles

Six of Pentacles

Seven of Pentacles

Eight of Pentacles

Nine of Pentacles

Ten of Pentacles

Page of Pentacles

Knight of Pentacles

Queen of Pentacles

King of Pentacles

 

I hope that you find this list to be helpful. Feel free to print out this blog post or cut and paste the listing for your own use.

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Another Mysterious Health Symptom – Food Allergy or another Affinity to My Awakening Process?

I’ve had a slew of medical and mysterious health “symptoms” along my awakening process. I have learned that some of my symptoms have had to do with changes in my body, changes in my energy, or changes in the energy in the solar system or on the planet. I’ve learned that some of my symptoms and even anxiety can have to do with emotions or experiences working themselves to the surface. I have also learned that the “symptoms” can be a nudge from my body when I am venturing off my path or purpose, trying to get me to where I need to be.

I will go long time periods without having any issues and then Boom! Something happens and some medical mystery pops up which is followed by panic, a lot of Google searching, and a slew of doctor visits and tests that lead to, well, nothing that Western Medicine can figure out. In the past, I’ve had medical mysteries last weeks and even months and then disappear.

Today’s Mystery:

This morning was a morning like any other. Before taking the kids to the bus stop, I had my usual coffee and decided to have a banana. Nothing out of the ordinary. I drove to the bus stop (It’s below zero out today).

Before the bus even arrived, it started. My mouth and tongue started to tingle and my lips started to feel funny. My mind automatically goes off the deep end thinking that my throat is closing up. I looked in the mirror to see if there was any swelling. So far, there wasn’t. In the mists of the panic, I couldn’t tell if my throat was closing up or not, or if I was experiencing anxiety. (In these situation, I’ve learned to try to take a moment and evaluate the situation to see if it is really an emergency or anxiety.) I tend to carry a bottle in of water in the car with me (and even Benadryl in my wallet) at all times. I took a few sips of water to make sure that I could swallow. I could. I held off on the Benadryl for now. I hate taking it because then my day is shot by being so tired. I swear that it also wreaks havoc on my thyroid and adrenal glands and messes with my emotions, too.

I called my neighbor to see if she was home. My thought was that maybe if went to her house and chatted for a bit, I’d get my mind off of things and start feeling better. I got her voicemail immediately. I then texted her to see if she was home this morning – she didn’t text back immediately. I didn’t feel that I needed the ER so I circled back to my house. I popped a half of a Benadryl (in the event this was some sort of an allergic reaction) and then I attempted to meditate to try to settle my anxiety.

My neighbor called me back and offered to take me to the doctor or if she could help with anything. We chatted about the things we have been up to later so that helped to calm me as well. She offered to check in on me again later.

Of course the Benadryl, even though I only took half a dose, makes me a feel like I’m walking around in a fog. I tried to work on some journal entries and get some house stuff done. I noticed that my mouth still didn’t feel quite right – like I scraped my tongue on something hard or burnt it. I then noticed that my mouth, lips and even my lower half of my face felt like it was having muscle spasms. (My teeth and gums have been feeling sensitive lately, but I have blamed that on being out of my good toothpaste and using my husband’s instead.)

To make matters more anxious and stressful, my husband is out of town traveling. That adds stress to situations like this because I worry that if I do have a medical situation or end up in the ER, how will the kids be handled once they are home after school or if something happens in the middle of the night.

I had similar sensations to what I had today, once before, like 6 years ago. My tongue had a burning sensation to it for a few days. (I blamed some spicy meal we had at first, but then it lasted for a few days.) My throat felt like it was going to close up, but back then, I didn’t recognize the anxiety. Western medical doctors told me that my sensations might have to do with acid reflux and to take an over the counter 24-antacid and to follow up with an allergist. The allergist couldn’t come up with concrete findings in her allergy testing, besides the fact that I had seasonal allergies and suggested that I take a 24-hr allergy medicine and suggested that I could take up to 2 in a 24/hr period. She also suggested that I carry Benadryl and an EpiPen, but again, no concrete answers on what I was allergic to enough to cause the sensations that I was experiencing.

Further along in my morning, I asked that “if the face and mouth symptoms are not for me, to please put them back in their proper space and time.” (A little Empath trick that I learned to do when trying to determine if the symptoms that I have picked up for really mine or not.) Well, after asking, I still had the symptoms, though they subsided a bit.

As I write this, my ears are buzzing like crazy, (and the face/mouth) has subsided. I also have a tingling in my head. I get the buzzing when Spirit is trying to get my attention. The buzzing is hard for me to tune in to because I do feel so short circuited after the anxiety kicked in. However by having the symptoms changed after I asked (free will) I am calmer in the fact that perhaps this isn’t a medical situation as much as a Spirit situation. I also feel my hands and feet pulsating.

I happened to be in contact with my acupuncturist today, as well as one of my mentors. Some of the reasons that I may be experiencing these symptoms could be:

 – I reached out to a mentor of mine. She did suggest that I could be sensitive to the banana (which I haven’t noticed before, but with my every-changing sensitives, you never know). She suggested that I make sure that I wash my fruits and veggies well.

– She also reminded me that we become more sensitive as we awakening more and become more intuitive. (Something I’ve told others, but forget to remind myself.)

 – The metaphysical emotional meaning as to what I am experiencing with my mouth/lips/tongue: Not speaking truth, sexual shame, not feeling supported to speak up. Not feeling valued. (Time to look for parallels.)

 – Teeth symptoms: Pondering over new information or solutions and pondering new ideas. (Which I have been.)

 – I asked my Acupuncturist what my symptoms could mean in Chinese Medicine. She suggested that it could be “Wind.” (Wind is one of the six external factors of disease – six Qi or six Yin/Six Excesses – that can attack the body, enter the meridians, and cause external diseases.) She said that Wind can cause spasms, coughing, sneezing and itching.

 – I read that the twitching symptoms could have to do with claircognizance “downloads.” These meaning that these downloads are like software or app upgrades on computer devices, except they are happening to a person.

changes aheadFor all that happened today, my day has seemed to fly by. It looks like I have some internal reflecting to do.

I am sharing this experience to help anyone else who is experiencing mysterious ailments and symptoms to not feel alone.  You’re not alone! And you’re not crazy!! You’re just going through an awakening!!

Intuition, [Social] Media and Law Enforcement

This post is not meant to be insensitive to real acts of discrimination and homophobia, nor is it intended to downplay the dangers that our first responders face every day, but rather to discuss how those with strong intuitive or emapthic abilities struggle with what plays out in the media, as I bring up two different stories that had far different outcomes than what the media (and even social media) first suggested happened, in this particular post.

Smollett+caseToday day I woke up to the headlines that read: Police: Two brothers told investigators they were paid by Jussie Smollett to stage attack. I will tell you that from the get-go, that this case, as it was stated in the media, never felt right to me.  From the first time I heard about Jussie Smollett’s attack (Smollett, who is black and gay, said he was attacked while walking home through Chicago’s Streeterville neighborhood. He told police masked men tied a noose around his neck, poured bleach on him and yelled the slurs at him.) Something felt very off or inauthentic about this story to me. Better yet, I felt that the story or incident was fake. I of course kept these thoughts to myself as the world we are living in today IS full of discriminative and homophobic acts. These things really do happen.  Because these alleged incidents happened to an actor, they took center stage in the media.

meganWithin moments of the story breaking and in the days to come, outpouring from stars and social media were made known and publicized. Each time I heard or saw someone showing their support or making a statement on behalf of what Smollett alleged happened to him, I honestly felt a kick in my gut. I kept thinking that this doesn’t feel right. It has been fabricated. The statements made by his family felt off, too. It got to the point that I found myself trying to avoid the story – turning the channel, swiping faster through a newsfeed, or changing the radio station. It was as if I was shutting down around the story whenever it came up.

This sort of thing – thinking that a story in a community, or in the media just isn’t feeling right – I have experienced before. One of the really memorable times was when I first started to realize that I myself was an empath and that I had strong intuitive abilities.

joeThe story that I am referring to is the death of Lt. Charles Joseph “Joe” Gliniewicz of the Fox Lake, Illinois Police Department that happened back in 2015. I live in the Midwest so this story was front and center from the moment it happened. The media started to paint a picture of a heroic man who had 30 years on his force, who was an Army Veteran and who was running a non-profit Explorer organization for children in the community, who was murdered while on duty. The media put him on a pedestal and gave him the nick name of “G.I. Joe.”

RIP GI JOEI noticed that people, even those who never knew him started to change their social media profile pictures to show their support for him, re-posting different images and news stories showing support for “G.I. Joe” and wanting justice for those who were responsible his death. There were reports of numerous people donating large sums of money to find the people who supposedly killed him. I remember that it didn’t feel right to me but I didn’t think much of it. The story was hard to get away from as it was everywhere.

In the days and weeks that followed, I kept getting different tidbits that would pop into my head. Things like “this case has to do with a woman.” Things like “money had something to do with this.” And thoughts like “this guy really isn’t a hero.”

Well, low and behold, as time when on, I later discovered that my “thoughts” WERE my intuition and that my intuition was correct. You can goggle the story for more details but basically Mr. Gliniewicz was using non-profit funds for his own use and was raising a red flag with a female who was now accusing him of such and it was later determined that he committed suicide as an end result of the extensive criminal acts he had been committing.

Everyone has intuition, some of us just have stronger abilities than others. Just like some of us are more athletic than others, a better cook or a better artist or musician than others… you get the idea. And an Empath trait is to “shut down” or find themselves avoiding unauthentic people.  I guess you can say that I shut down when I hear certain news stories or see things on social media.

Both the media and social media get to me more challenging for me to be around. Both make my blood boil as both can assist in making things something they are not. Intuitive abilities aside, I personally wish that the media would stop trying to entertain us and play on our emotions and just state facts when they report on a new story. When did the media decide to make “characters” (good or bad) out of the subjects in the news?  When did other people’s social media posts and photos on social media become statements that are used on the news to help spin a story?

Though it doesn’t happen all of the time, but really it DOES happen too much, I wish that law enforcement would not release so much information so that the media didn’t have so much information to play up for entertainment purposes and that people sitting behind their phones or screens could forward/repost stories in which all of the facts aren’t figured out yet.

I also wish that the general public would not be so quick to cling on to the media’s every word or to everything that they see in their social media newsfeeds and wait for the facts to come out.

For myself, I wish that I would not question the information that my intuition gives me the first time that I receive it. I also wish that I didn’t feel the need to have my information validated in order to feel comfortable sharing it.

 

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

When Parenting and Empath Abilities Collide

Empaths absorb the energy and symptoms of others. When we absorb ailments of others, we take them on as if they are our own. When we take on ailments, we can heal the other person.

mother daughterYesterday my youngest walked in the door from school with what looked to be a dark red patch on her face. Upon further investigation it looked like a rash or a bug bite of some sort. (Never mind we are in the middle of winter here in the Midwest.) She has extremely sensitive skin so I first went through a list of questions asking what she might have put on her face to cause this – lotions, hand sanitizers or soaps at school, etc. She said that it itched and hurt. I tried to figure out when during the day this happened. According to her, it started early in the school day.

We took the necessary steps to ease her symptoms. Within moments of giving her face attention I started to itch around my face and shoulders. I even noticed some hives starting on me. This of course alerted me to ask my daughter if she was itching or bothered in other places and she said “No.”

Itching and hives on ME tend to put me I a bit of an anxious spiral as a person who has had many an unexplained allergic reaction of my own along my awakening process. I used to carry Benadryl and epi pens with me everywhere I went. (At the begging of my awakening process I was popping Benadryl like it was candy, as I was always itching and my throat regularly felt like it was ready to close up.)

When I take on symptoms from others (sometimes I know whose symptoms I have taken on and other times it can be a complete stranger like someone out in a public place or in my neighborhood or somebody’s energy that I am tapping into) my first instinct is to protect myself (so that I don’t absorb what is not mine) and then to send it back to its rightful owner and to put it back in its proper space and time.  (I know that this “wording” may sound crazy to some, but the putting back of the ailments of not mine has been a big help to me.)

When it is your child who is suffering from something you want to do all that you can to make them better. Though my first instinct was to protect myself (“Hello! Anxiety and panic!” as I get worried about allergic reactions for me) but then “Mommy Mode” kicked in and I allowed myself to keep absorbing my daughter’s ailments. (I did ask my angels and guides to help me to not have a medical emergency myself.)

Motherhood and my abilities seems to collide from time to time. I try to do my best and roll with things to the best of my abilities and to thank the Universe along the way.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

Are you Trying to Create a New You Around the Same Old People?

I came across this quote, “Stop trying to create a new you around the same old people” and it really resonated with me.

It resonated with me on a personal level.

I currently have multiple social media accounts. Some that I have had for nearly 9 or so years, and others that I created in the last year and a half or so. I feel that the newer accounts are “more me” in the present time, and are connected with people who are more similar to me. People who I relate to. And really, people who have given me a sense of community, even if it has only been in the “social media sphere.”

Just today I was looking back at my original Facebook account. (Not the one associated with this blog.) I have somewhere between 500 and 600 contacts connected on that account – and that number includes the deleting of some contacts as I detoxed my contact list(s) at the start of the New Year. I combed through the contacts and I realized that I probably only relate to about 3% of the contacts that I am connected with on my older account. That three percent is the only group of people who I feel comfortable with being myself around and speaking freely about where I am in life right now. (May I remind you that in the last few years I discovered that I have some metaphysical gifts. That I am an Empath. And that I have come to the realization that I am here to help people heal on some level.) All of these things are the “new me” as opposed to the “old me” who those 500-and-some contact know. Or used to know. Or thought that they knew. I also don’t think that many of these contacts can or want to relate to where I am in this journey we call life.

new youThis realization translates into everyday life for me as well. I have left some groups within my community that I have felt no longer serve me. I know that can sound a little persnickety, but when you no longer enjoy something, or the people associated with it, I have learned that it is time to let it go.

My social circle has also shrunk as I have learned that I don’t fit in with people who I used to. Many times I don’t relate to the conversations taking place. (Small talk isn’t easy for Empaths.) It has been a struggle, but I have learned to put some space between me and people who I don’t relate to. Free time is a rare jewel and I have learned to not waste it with people who I don’t enjoy anymore and who knows. Chances are that they don’t or won’t enjoy the “new me” either.

old newSo I guess that the lesson here is to stop looking for the new me in the old places. And one of those “old places” would be a stale social media account that I have on Facebook. Realistically, I do feel people are always evolving and changing. The person that you are today should be different from the person who you were ten years ago, and the same goes for me. (How boring would it be to stay the same?) By letting go of the old us, we can embrace the new, or present-day us, but we can’t necessarily do that by hanging on to certain people. Sometimes we need new ones in our lives to match where we are today, and to go with the flow of the new us.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.