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Mysterious Health Symptoms. Are they Mine?

Time and time again throughout my so-called “Awakening Journey” I have struggled with knowing what health symptoms (and even emotions) are my own, or someone else’s.

As I have discussed in previous posts, I am an Emapth. An Empath has the ability to feel the thoughts, emotions, and energy of others. This can include physical symptoms as well.

The other day, I was on my way to visit a mentor of mine and out of nowhere, as I was driving, my left knee started to hurt. I felt a sharp pain and it was very noticeable. Though knee problems tend to run in my family, my knees have not been bothering me as of recently. With that said, every time I have or feel an ailment that comes on out of nowhere, my mind starts to spiral out of control….

“Is it a blood clot…”

“Wait… am I dehydrated? Maybe it is my lower leg that is hurting and not my knee…?”

“What if I can’t walk on my leg when I get where I am going…?”

“What if both of my knees start to hurt and it gets so bad that I have to pull over because I can’t drive…?”

You may be chuckling to yourself as you read the above thoughts that were racing through my head, but this is a glimpse into my world. I’ve had so many random ailments over the past few years that I go from 0 to 100 and then anxiety will come running in.

I tried to reason with myself that I would be seeing Erin soon and that she’d either help me with the pain or have a reason as to why I was in pain. (Erin specializes in Reiki, Energy Work and CranioSacral work and has been a wonderful mentor to me though out my awakening process.)

When I get to Erin’s office, she asks me what I’d like to do today, or what aliments I needed to fix. I explained to her that I have been feeling fine as of late, with the exception of my knee that started to hurt really bad on the way over. I did joke that maybe the pain isn’t mine, but I was sort of dismissing my comment.

Erin paused for a moment and said, “Nope. It isn’t your knee, it is someone else’s.” I was relieved to hear this, but I told her that I struggle with what is mine and what isn’t and how it puts me into panic mode sometimes.

Erin gave me a great tip that I have used ever since my visit with her. When I get an ailment, a pain, an emotion or a strange feeling that comes over me out of nowhere, she suggested that I ask if “Is this mine?” And if it isn’t mine that I should ask that it be put back in its proper space and time. Erin explained that if it was someone else’s ailment that I picked up, the ailment would go away. If it really is mine, well, then it would stay with me. So in the instance if the knee, I would say something like: “Is this pain in my knee mine? If it is not, please put it back in its proper space and time. Thank you.”

sickEver since learning this little tip, it has helped me tremendously. I do find that sometimes I need to ask more than once if the “ailment” is mine or not. By nature, I am a bit impatient and when things don’t go away in a split second I do find myself asking again. More times than not, I am freed of whatever is bothering me. There have also been times, when what I was feeling was really mine. For instance a few days after seeing Erin I didn’t feel very well. I asked that if my body aches where mine or not and went through the ritual of asking everything to be put back if it wasn’t mine. Well low and behold I did have a touch of the flu and no matter how many times I asked that the symptoms leave if they are not mine, they stayed until I was well again.

So the next time you aren’t sure if what you are feeling is really you or not, try asking if it is yours or not. And then ask that it be put back in it proper place and time. Be sure to say “Thank you” at the end of your ask. 😉

How I Pay Homage to my Passed Loved Ones During the Christmas Season

Angel Tree 2017_bAbout four years ago, I started a new holiday tradition in our family that allows us to remember loved ones who have passed, and allows my children to learn about relatives who they may have never met. Every Christmas I put up what I call our “Angel Tree.”

I am not sure WHERE I got the idea for this, but the thought just popped into my head: I wanted an angel tree! My thought behind it was that I would hang photos of passed loved ones on the tree and then as guests (grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, etc.)  arrive to our home on Christmas Day (we usually host) my children would present them with an ornament that has the guest’s written name on it. Together they would then go over to the tree and hang it anywhere on the tree that they would like. This would give our guests an opportunity to reflect on those who have passed and give them a chance to share memories with my children, if they so choose.

I loved the idea of this, but I needed to whip up a tree and its trimmings with only a few weeks to go before Christmas that year. I was determined that I wanted the tree to be gold. I discovered at that time that gold trees were hard to come by and cost a pretty penny. I decided to peruse local garage sale sites and I came across an inexpensive artificial tree with white branches that someone was selling. I decided to purchase it and I intended to spray paint it gold!

I never like driving to places where I have never been before. The tree was located over a half hour away, which seemed like an eternity getting there. I remember asking for “help” from my guides on the way there. Asking for assistance to find where I needed to go. Assistance in being safe. Assistance in liking the tree once I got all of the way there, etc.

Well, long story short, the tree was what I was looking for and in good enough shape, so I purchased it from the seller. On the way home, I had to turn against heavy traffic which I don’t like to do, so I ended up making a right turn, and then a U-turn, to get in the direction I needed to be to head home. Before making the U-turn, I saw a state mileage sign for a major highway that if you took it all of the way, would take you right to my now deceased grandparents’ house. It made me smile. Then on the way home, I kept seeing doves along the power lines on my side of the road. It felt as if they were actually watching me drive past them. I relate doves to symbols from Spirit and I felt comforted and even more relaxed as if some of my past relatives were watching me, or guiding me home from getting the tree.

So now, how did I design my Angel Tree? Well, I first took the white tree to my back yard, laid a tarp down and spray painted the heck out of it with gold spray paint. It was a challenge to find a nice day to do this, as temperatures in the Midwest during this time of year are generally too cold for painting anything outdoors. It took many coats and to this day, it could probably use a few more, but it turned into gilded gold tree.

I then purchased some small 2×3 and 3×3 sized photo frames. I added photos to the frames of loved ones who have passed – some frames with copies of photos, other with photo copies and in cases when I didn’t have a photo, I just printed the person’s name in fancy font on nicer paper and slipped them into the frames. I then attached ribbon to frames so that they could be hung.

The first year that we put the tree out, I used some gold and ivory ornaments and pearl garland strands that I already had laying around. As the years have gone by, I’ve added more ribbons and crystals to really make the tree a statement tree. I have also collected and even made some ornaments that either have an angelic theme to them, or have a symbolic meaning to me like doves, dragonflies and angel wings. We use the same ornaments year-to-year that have our guests’ names on them. We keep them in a gold basket under the tree until they arrive. Every year when I put the tree up, I feel my “angels” with me. I usually have some odd occurrence happen as well, like a light bulb flickering or going out in the room from across the tree. A reminder that they always  with me.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

I Don’t Look Like Your Stereotypical Love-and-Light, Patchouli, Intuitive Medium, and I was Disregarded for it

I recently went to an event that took place about a half hour from where I live that promoted itself as a one-stop location for holistic, health, and wellness. Communication about the event advertised its vendors specializing in such things as: Body and Energy Work, Tarot Readers, Mediums, and Astrologers, Henna Artists, Musicians and Local Artisans, Crystal Vendors, as well as other vendors having Holistic and Natural Products for both family and pets.

Since my “Awakening” I have not attended any metaphysical-related events. My Acupuncturist was going to be exhibiting at the event so I decided that I would go and check it out and if nothing else, I would be supporting my Acupuncturist by stopping by and saying hello to her. I also figured that I could use my Acupuncturist as an excuse to my husband as to why I was going to go and check out this “Health Fair” as I referred to it to him. (Wink! Wink!)

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I figured what’s the worst that could happen, I get back in my car and leave?? I did let my Acupuncturist know that I was thinking of going. Her response was, “I’m curious to know thoughts on it if you do go.” (Looking back, this was a clue. A clue for me.)

The day was a bit chilly as it was early November. I dressed as I normally would. As if I was meeting a friend out to lunch. I had on a black, long-sleeved cotton shirt and on top of that I put a red, tartan plaid wrap on. I wore a pair of jeans and tall, (flat) black boots and I finished my look with black satchel handbag that I use (and beat up) almost every day. I did my hair normally and slapped on the usual makeup.  If anything I looked a little “Fall-ish” in my outfit, but I didn’t think anything of it as it is something that I would wear on many occasions when leaving the house. (See the image below for the wrap that I wore. I originally bought it from a boutique in my hometown, but it is still available online from different stores.)

plaid wrap

I got to the venue and made my way to the entrance. A man and woman arrived around the same time and both were friendly and we made small talk. I was sort of excited to see what was on the other side of the door as I had never been to this event before. Once I walked into the main area of the venue, I heard someone playing a guitar and saw a bunch of tables organized around the room with vendors at each of them. There was a variety of items on display. I made my way to a jewelry vendor. I started to look at a few things on her table. I noticed that she didn’t really make eye contact with me after her last customer walked away. I said “Hello” and she looked up and said “Hi” and then looked away.

I made my way to a few more tables. I stopped by a few crystal vendors – one acknowledged me, the other just looked at me and carried on with whatever she was doing. I then stopped at a holistic pet booth. I purchased a product there, but the vendor didn’t seem very grateful for the sale or conversation,but perked up when the next person behind me started looking at her products.

I eventually made my way to the part of the room where the psychics were giving readings and where energy workers were trying to sell their “healing packages.”  I sort of just kept wandering around the room and observed. I tried to see if I got the urge to sit for any of the readers. I did feel the pull to go to an energy worker, but once she started talking, I realized that she was trying to sell me on a package deal for a lot of money, which was in essence the same thing that my Reiki gal already does for me for the fraction of the price.

I did see my acupuncturist and stopped by her booth to say hello. She greeted me with a big hug and said that she was happy to see me. I didn’t want to take up too much of her time as she had a bunch of attendees in her space trying an acupuncture treatment and I wanted to be respectful.

I walked around some more sizing up the psychics in the room. I’ll be honest, I didn’t care for the energy that most gave off. (I suppose that I can say the same thing about many of the vendors who were there as well.) I did come across a local intuitive life coach who I have heard of and follow on social media. I decided to sit for a reading with him. The reading went well and had some good information in it, so not all was lost that afternoon. After the reading I stopped by my Acupuncturist’s booth again and told her that I was going to head out. We said that we’d see each other at my next appointment.

On my way home I processed what I saw, “felt” and observed at the event. I was a bit surprised that my hair wasn’t blown back. (I like to use that phrase. I got it from a good friend of mine.) I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t meet someone there who may help me on my “journey” shall we say. I was but yet I really wasn’t surprised that though I was in a setting with self-proclaimed “spiritual,” and “love and light” sort of people, it wasn’t further from the truth. I have always known but proved to myself after being at this event that I don’t fit the ideal look or mold of a light worker, intuitive medium, whatever you want to call me.  However, I don’t fit in in most places that I go, so why should this be any different?

The best spiritual teachers, vendors, shop owners, energy workers and psychics whom I have met are accepting of all, no matter what they look like or where they come from. They have no judgement. Clearly the people at this event are not part my “tribe” as they say.

Spiritual Teachers, Groups and People are a Dime a Dozen – Especially on Social Media

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As more and more of us are “waking up” to consciousness, and as social media connects us to more and more people, it seems, at least to me, that Spiritual Teachers, Groups and people are a dime a dozen, most of which, in my opinion (and from the energy I feel/sense from them) are not for me. We all want to “find our tribe” and find a group of like-minded people where we feel that we fit in. Some of us are looking for mentors to help us along the way. As you explore different people and groups and teachers you want to include with you on your journey, my advice to you is to take a step back and see how these people “feel” to you.

Many people and groups (both in person and on social media) that I have experienced can have low energy, and at times, even toxic energy (drama) that they air on social media. You know, the ones who claim to be spiritual gangsters or healers, yet they post or discuss “sensitive” (violent or graphic) content and language that spiritually advanced people wouldn’t do or use?

In the group(s) that you belong to, do you find that the majority of members are constant complainers or whiners? (When you complain, you remain – most of us looking for spiritual growth want to move forward.)

What kinds of energy do those in your “group” carry? A high-vibrational energy? Or a low-vibrational energy? Are they draining to you? I have found that I am (and my gifts are) too sensitive for most groups and I’ve had to exit stage left more than a handful of times.  Learn to “delete” the things and people that drain you! Energies are contagious. The right people who match your vibrational level and find you.

How many people are you connected with whose goal is to “sell” you something – an oil, a crystal, a piece of jewelry, a class, distance healing, a monthly membership, whatever it is, fill in the blank. Does it feel like they are trying to get more followers for their own benefit? Or are they genuinely interested in helping people with their goods and/or services? Maybe they started a meet-up or online group with the intention to solicit to people like you? Don’t get me wrong, we all have to make a living and we all do it in different ways, but if a person, group or teacher feels inauthentic, they probably are and it probably is.

scamWhen it comes to buying goods or services, also take a step back and ask yourself if the prices seem reasonable. Where are the items sourced? If you shop around a bit, you will be able to come up with the average cost of different types of crystals, oils, and energy services for where you live. If something seems to be priced too good to be true, well, as the saying goes, it might just be.  Sometimes the item may cost a little more, but the person or the knowledge that comes with it, can make all the difference.

As far as teachers and mentors go, I feel we all have something to learn from everyone – both good and bad. Some people claim to be “teachers” but I have found that they should be doing their own inner work before trying to teach or help others. You may also cross paths with a teacher who you want to be NOTHING like. (There is still a lesson in that.)

The best teachers and mentors I have had, always gave me the “tools” (not necessarily a program) that I needed along my journey, at the right time. I have been able to incorporate what I have learned from them, into my life, to help me to grow or heal or to expand my gifts. The best teachers have also opened my eyes to different things, but didn’t always give me the answer. They would lead or nudge me to figure out the answer – sometimes on my own and sometimes with their assistance. The empowering ones are the best ones.

I have also found that some of the best mentors, though many ARE on social media, are a bit more under the radar and they post with what I call “grace.” (Not necessarily selfies that look like they belong on a dating site or images filled with “ego.”) They aren’t all “Look at me!”

The “teachers” who try to get a bunch of followers under them or the umbrella of their business, I have not found are the teachers for me.  These are usually the ones asking for a financial arm and leg from their students (or groupies), or a bunch of volunteered hours in order to be certified in something. (As a reminder, we all have intuition, you don’t need a certification that says you have it!)  The ones looking for a monthly, re-occurring membership I haven’t found to be necessary either on my spiritual path, either.

We are all energy. And energy is always in contact motion. With that said, we shouldn’t and aren’t meant to stay in one place forever, whether that means in the same group, around the same people or with the same mentors forever. The universes places stepping stones in front of us and as we advance, new people, teachers and resources are put in our path – if we choose to follow.

In My Opinion, Talking to Your Loved Ones on the Other Side, Shouldn’t Break the Bank

As an intuitive medium, I find stories like this one disheartening:

Edmonton psychic medium called a scam by clients left waiting for readings, refunds

You can read about it here: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/edmonton-carmel-joy-baird-medium-1.4711091

Cramel Joy.pngThose of us who declare that we have mediumship abilities face enough skepticism as it is, and when higher-profile mediums tarnish the “industry,” it makes it even harder for the rest of us to open the eyes and hearts of disbelievers to the other side.

First off, I want to set the record straight that we are ALL born with clear psychic abilities, but they generally tend to get shut down during adolescence and many times get buried and not nurtured to be reignited again. And some of us have stronger abilities than others.

We ALL also have the ability to receive signs and symbols from the other side. Have you ever noticed a feather in your path after pondering a question or thinking about a loved one who has passed? Have you ever come across a handwritten note or a card from a loved one who has passed around your birthday or a special time in your life? What about hearing a specific song on the radio, maybe one that isn’t on today’s top play list that connects you with someone who is no longer here?  We don’t necessarily need to pay anyone to delivery these messages to us, we just need to keep your hearts and minds (and eyes and ears) open and aware to what is around us so that we can connect the dots.

Some people have a strong gift of mediumship and choose to make a living off of it and that is fine. It is okay to pay for a “service” but not pay a ridiculous price for it. It should be noted that Mediums who use their gifts to make a living, need to bring home a paycheck too, as they need to eat, put a roof over their head and in many cases raise a family as well. One also needs to consider that you get what you pay for. A seasoned medium will charge a decent rate, but you will know by the healing you feel afterwards, that it was worth it. (I always say that a good reading is better than a session on the couch in the therapist’s office.) Spirit will also come through in a reading giving you whatever messages you NEED to receive and NOT necessarily the message or information that you are looking for prior to a reading.

Unless a portion of your reading proceeds are going to charity, on average nobody should be paying $200 or more for a reading, let alone $500 or $600 on upward. Do the math. An average reading takes an hour. At $200 an hour, the medium is charging more than $3.00 a minute.

I also find it irritating when people offer courses or certifications to become a medium. You can work to strengthen your gifts, but either you have it or you don’t. You can’t buy it. And most of the work that is needed to be done, needs to be done looking inward and not necessarily online. The monthly memberships offered by some, to gain access to materials, is bothersome to me as well. You aren’t necessarily forming a relationship with the person whose name is one the web site. They have an office staff reading the emails and posting the materials. You aren’t “training” alongside a celebrity.

When shopping around for a Medium, you don’t need to see any credentials like a certification. I have found all of my good intuitive mediums via word-of-mouth and they have all had a positive reputation. You won’t necessarily find the positive ones in the yellow pages or on social media, as on social media, they, or should I say “we,” are a dime a dozen. Similarly, my advice to others is to not pay for things like a pendulum reading or to have someone “pull a card for you” for a sum of money. Those are all things that one can do on their own and they don’t necessarily need polished or refined gifts to do so or to get answers from.

And yet we all need to find a way to bring home a pay check of some sort, the idea behind having the gift of mediumship is to share the gift with others. One’s gifts also gets stronger as they help others, including those who are seeking to expand their gifts. The reward for the teacher isn’t just monetary, their gifts grow as well. Some will also say that those with gifts will lose or hinder their gifts if they don’t use them for the collective good, (i.e. for greed, instead).

I will also add, that those of us with gifts can become drained and need to find time and space to recharge in between readings and commitments. And from experience I can also say that balancing both family and personal needs with developing intuitive abilities can be challenging as well.

For the record, I do believe that Carmel Joy Baird DOES have spiritual gifts, but perhaps things spiraled out of control a bit. (I am sure that there is a lesson in all of this for her.)

You may be interested in learning 5 Things a Good Psychic Will Never Tell You

So before you commit to your next reading, please consider the cost and reputation of the medium you are booking with.

 

Being a Sports Mom and an Intuitive

I have anticipated this question as more and more people learn about my abilities: “Do you know if your kid’s team is going to win today?”

My children are involved in various activities, some of which are competitive and team sports. With that said, somebody is going to be the winner and somebody is going to come up short. I will say that I have tested my abilities at times, and for instance, tried to use my intuition to get an answer as if we will win or lose that day. I have learned that if I am able to get my own feelings and wishes out of the way and just try for a straight answer, I usually get it right and can say if we are going to win or lose that game or match.

Predicting the outcome of a game that my kids are playing can mess with me as there have been times that I am sitting on the sidelines watching my child’s team be down, when I previously got the answer that we will be winning that day. When this happens, I start to question my abilities and even get upset with myself for maybe not knowing how to use my abilities properly, and then low and behold, we’ll come from behind at the end and win.

The opposite has also happened where I think that we will lose a specific game and for a good portion of the time our team will be up. Sometimes way up. In those instances I also start to question my abilities but then think who cares if I am wrong, we are winning! (And then, just like that, even if we are ahead, we walk away defeated.)

It can start to feel like a roller coaster…

The knowing of what I think the outcome will be and then what is playing out in front of me…

sidelineOn occasion there have been times when I have tried to figure out what the outcome will be and there are times that I get what I call a back-and-forth answer, meaning that I can’t tell clearly, one way or another, if we are going to win or lose. When this happens, I ask multiple times and get one answer and then another – nothing consistent. I chalk that up to: I’m not supposed to know everything before it happens, or what the final outcome to be.

I have also learned, that though I have the ability to see what the outcome will be, many times I chose to NOT use it. There is something to be said to be a spectator in the stands or to be a mother rooting for her child on the sidelines and just being in the moment without knowing how it is going to end until it is actually over. By knowing the outcome, the fun can be taking out of watching the game.

I do also feel like knowing the outcome of my children’s sporting events makes me look a suspicious or feel guilty next to other parents.  In the past, if I knew that our team was going to win, there were times that I was almost too relaxed as a Sports Mom on the side lines. Others around me would be getting worked up and caught up in the emotion and I would be sitting right next to them cool as a cucumber because I knew that all would end fine. I started to feel like other parents were look at me strangely for maybe not rooting so intensely for our team. And at times when I knew that we were going to lose, I felt like others around me would be cheering their hearts out hoping for a positive outcome when I was ready to pack up my things and head back to the car knowing that we’d be done soon.

By no means when I do have a hunch as to what the outcome of my kid’s games will be, do I share it with others around me. I have no intention of wanting to spoil the experience for other parents or spectators. I do also want to bring up the fact that Intuitives are not given insight when it comes to gambling or gaining financially from sporting events. (If that were the case, business would be booming, wouldn’t it? LOL!) Our gifts are to be used to help others heal.

I will say that I do have a 100% hit ratio in calling rain outs for when my kids sports are played out doors. (That comes in handy in knowing what to pack and take to games if we are going to be stuck out in the elements.) 😉

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

An Empath Can Never Have Too Much Space Between Them and Negative or Toxic People

As an Empath, it can be challenging to manage your energy, especially when you are in settings where there is a negative or toxic person or group of people. I have found that the simply moving away from the source of negativity does wonders for me.

What is a negative or toxic person you ask? Well, they tend to be people who have issues with maintaining relationships. They judge others, dwell on the past, have anger issues, they can never be wrong and tend to be brown-nosers.

These types of people like to be the center of attention even if it is negative attention. They will do anything to get you to pay attention to them and see their point of view even if they tell you lies or fib to you.  They also tend to leverage themselves into a position where people have but no choice but to pay attention to them.

Negative or toxic people tend to either stir up drama or feed off of others, and at times will even help it to manifest. They manipulate, they like to control, and they like to withhold information that can be a benefit to others. They also like to blame others for their circumstances.

Do you know anyone who fits this bill?? A relative? A co-worker? A hair-dresser? A class-mate? A stage mother? A sports parent? A drinking buddy?

 

It is nearly impossible to avoid negative or toxic people all together, especially at social gatherings, in the workplace, at school or church functions, or at your child’s extracurricular activities. As an empath, physical closeness can increase the absorption of a negative person’s feelings or energy. With that said, I have found it extremely effective to distance myself physically from such people. And by distancing I mean at least twenty feet or more. In cramped quarters, that isn’t always possible but in the least, it is helpful to avoid as much contact as possible with negative or toxic people. Give yourself permission to change where you are sitting, stand on a different side of the room, or take frequent breaks from the crowd if need be. Sure, it can come off looking anti-social or snobby, but I have let go of being worried about what other people think as my own energy, or how I feel physically, outweighs other people’s opinions. And really, if it is a negative person that one is trying to avoid, that person isn’t giving you a second (positive) thought anyway. Right?

When you are Reflecting Back What People Don’t Like about Themselves, Seeing Two Deceased Fathers in a Room, and at the End of the Day You Know that the Pot-Stirrer is really stirring the Pot Because She Needs Attention: It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding!

Vibrating higher - NaysayersI recently attended my first family wedding since I became aware that I was going through a Spiritual Awakening Process – the process in which my metaphysical gifts have grown stronger. The only other large event that has taken place since my gifts have gotten stronger was a Memorial Service for a relative. You can read about it here:  https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As amazed as I was by people’s behavior towards me that evening, I was more stunned by the idea that I already knew that people would be treating me the way they did. I think on some level I thought that I could get through to certain individuals and break down walls and start the family healing that I believe is falling on my shoulders. I talk about that toward the end of a previous blog post. You can read that here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/17/we-are-just-here-to-celebrate-a-wedding-and-that-is-it/

I will happily add that I started to lose some weight a week or so before the wedding and to this day, it is still falling off with really no effort or intention on my part. It is as though my “layer of protection” that I have packed on (you can read about here: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/ive-heard-of-the-freshman-fifteen-but-nobody-mentioned-the-awakening-15-to-me/ ) started to melt away as I got confident in myself, the angel messages that I had received and what I had to deal with at this wedding. The weight has continued to come off after as I replay in my head what I observed in people that evening. I have also been more honest with telling some people around me about my gifts, which I believe has assisted in dropping the weight as well.

So, about the wedding… (Which was really beige and not white, by the way.)

While getting ready for the wedding, I had some down time and I used that time to center myself, go over what I needed to do (radiate my light and spread love to those around me. This is the message that I got from my Guides a few weeks back.) I talked to my “spiritual team” (Guides and Angels) and even performed some Reiki on myself. I

Pyrite rose gold
My handbag, Rose Quartz and Pyrite.

knew that my grandmother, (my father’s mother) would be walking along side of me that evening. I’ve known it for months.  I was as ready as I was going to be. I was calm and relaxed and ready for whatever was going to come my way. I threw some crystals in my purse. I took rose quarts and pyrite. (Rose quartz is the stone of the heart, a crystal of unconditional love that carries a soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort. Pyrite is a protector of negative energy as well as a stone that give a confidence boost.) I performed my usual energy protection rituals and then we were off. There was a shuttle bus that could have taken us to the wedding venue, but we chose to drive by ourselves.

My husband and I arrived at the chapel prior to my parents and sister. We grabbed a seat and saved room for others to join us as the seats were filling up fast. We had a row further back. I was in the corner but felt it was a comfortable space where I could observe from. We got a wave from some members of my Uncle’s side of the family toward the front row, but no body offered for us to move up, which was fine, we don’t feel we are the first tier of people to be up in front anyway.

While waiting, I saw my cousin Ann*, my second cousin Lynn* and her mother, Auntie J.* walk in.

Beautiful-form-of-communication.-640x640My husband was standing in the aisle while I was sitting in the pew. Lynn walked by and gave my husband a quick hug and tried to scoot by with just a  wave and a hello to me, but I got up and greeted her with a hug. Then I see her mother, Auntie J.  I went up to her and she let me hug her, but then I go to kiss her on the cheek and she turned away. I noticed what has happened but carry on without missing a beat. As that was taking place, my cousin Ann said a side-ways “hello” more to my husband, than to me, and tried to walk behind everyone and avoid me. I moved closer to her and hugged her and said, “It’s great to see you.” She murmured the same back and walked to the front of the church where my uncle’s side of the family was seated. I can honestly say that I treated each lady with love and respect from the get-go that evening.

Next my parents arrived. They squeezed in and my mother asked where my sister is. She walks in (she arrived with the first three gals, but stopped off at the ladies room) and my mother called for her to sit by us. I gave her a hug as she sat down near my mother and me. I could tell that she was irritated that she had to sit by me and my parents, as she would have preferred to sit up front with the cousins, but let’s be honest, your parents come first. At one point my cousin Ann motions to my sister that there is room where they are sitting up front, but then my mom chimed in and asked if there was room for all of us, and that ended that. You could see my sister’s disgust in her body language as she realized that she was “stuck” with us for the ceremony.

As the ceremony is ready to get started, I saw my Uncle, the father of the groom, and we make eye contact. I give both him and the groom’s brother a hello as they pass by and see me.  They weren’t sure what to make of my “hello” but wave back.

Before and during the ceremony, no matter what I would say to my sister to attempt to make conversation, she would say the opposite. I would say left, she’d say right, I’d mention up, she’d say down.  No matter what I tried to do to get anywhere with her, I couldn’t so I took a break from trying until later in the evening.

The ceremony was very nontraditional and had more of a “comedy” theme to it. Others seemed to relate to the inside jokes that were said and the tone of the ceremony. Though it was a nice ceremony I didn’t connect with it, but I reminded myself that I didn’t relate to many of the people who were in the chapel and vice versa, they didn’t understand me in the least bit, but all of that was OK. We were there to celebrate the marriage of a bride and groom who were starting their life out together. It didn’t matter what the rest of us thought. It was their day. The day was how THEY want it to be. Outside opinions didn’t matter.

Once the ceremony concluded, we stepped outside and waited for the bride and groom to come out of the chapel. My parents, husband and I greeted my Aunt and Uncle (the mother and father of the groom). All four of us exchanged hugs and handshakes are exchanged and we are told “Thank you for coming.” My initial thought was, “Great! Everyone is acting cordial.”

While waiting for the couple to come out, I saw my Uncle’s sister-in-law. We’ll call her “Pat*”. Pat had a really cute dress and flats on and I complimented her on her dress and shoes. She commented back, referring to the wedges that I was wearing, about how she followed the rules on the wedding invite and wore flats as suggested, to the outdoor venue. Her comment seemed a bit icy, but I believed the comment had more to do with her, wishing she didn’t wear the flats, than with me.

On the way to the tented reception, I stopped off to the ladies room. There I made small talk with strangers who were in there. I am one who normally will make small talk with strangers and offer a smile or lift them up with a compliment. As I looked in the mirror, I could see (and feel) that I was still vibrating high.

On my way out of the ladies room, my sister and cousin Ann walk past my husband not acknowledging him until they saw me and then they said something. I let it go and made some light-hearted comment back and we headed toward the reception tent.

Once in the tent, we got our table assignments. My husband (the only male who would be at our table) and I were going to be seated with my sister, Ann, Lynn and Auntie J. My parents were seated at a different table. I could see the disappointment on my husband and father’s faces that they weren’t going to get to sit together. I could also sense my mother’s dismay as well.  I decided that we weren’t going to sit down quite yet and visit around the room first, but I also made sure that we acknowledge those who were at our table prior to sitting down. My husband and I took the long way toward our table and stopped at the bar first. I filled him in on what I had seen/sensed from other’s actions towards me at the church. To a certain degree he doesn’t see or understand fully what I see and feel as he is not an Intuitive Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person like I am.

We stopped by the bar and I asked for a cranberry and tonic. I made a point to not drink alcohol about 5 days before the wedding, as well as to not drink at the wedding for two reasons: Alcohol can block the flow of spiritual gifts. (Five days might not sound like much to some, but I feel like almost every day an excuse pops up to have a drink – a glass of wine on the patio, a drink out with the girls, a cocktail after the kids are in bed, etc.) Also, coming from a family tree of heavy drinkers, I decided that I didn’t need anyone accusing me of acting a “certain way” because maybe I had too much to drink.

On the way to the bar I saw a man’s face that seemed to transform into Lynn’s father’s face, who had passed. The face gave me a deep, knowing look into my eyes. I let it pass. Sort of questioning it.

While at the bar, Pat’s husband came up and talked to me and my husband. All was fine. We just made small talk. Also while in line I see my aunt and uncle’s sister in law, Jilly*. Jilly (as well as Pat) have a history or coming up to me at family events, especially Jilly, if they are the current target of negativity, or on the outs with, well shall we say, may Aunt Marie,* the mother of the groom. In the past, when they have been short on people to “chat” with at family functions, they will chat it up with me to kill time. That wasn’t happening at this function. But when you have been the target before, you don’t want to piss off the Ring Leader, so you abide by the “rules” and follow suit. This cycle of icing somebody out has happened for generations. It happened with my Great Grandmother, my grandmother and great aunt, and with my aunt and cousins now. Jilly and I never had a problem making conversation before but while in line at the bar, I said hello, gave her a hug and complimented her on the jacket she had on. In an adverse tone, and no eye contact, she replied, “Thanks, my daughters picked it out.” And turned her back and walked away. That was that. She was done.

I made a stop at our table before I made my way over to check out the dessert table and found some cute, older gals standing by a heater to try to keep warm. (It was not quite 50 degrees out and raining.) We chatted it up a bit. I enjoyed their smiles and warm energy, no pun intended.

After viewing the dessert table, I stopped by my mother who is trying to get organized at her assigned table. Her and my father’s seats keep getting pushed down further to the end of the table as Pat was organizing who should sit where. I tried to make small talk with Pat and my mother, but Pat didn’t make eye contact with me and tried to zip a zinger comment my way to make me “feel dumb” which I was aware of. At that point, I just moved on.

Since we are lacking family photos as a whole and we were all dressed up, my mother found a nice back drop and takes some photos in front of. We called my sister over so that she could join us.  While this was taking place, I could feel the negative energy and comments from those hanging out at the table we are to be seated at in a bit.

FB_IMG_1520543985906After my mom was done with taking photos, my sister and dad start talking by the DJ’s table. I went up and tried to join in the conversation. My husband eventually joined as well. No matter what conversation starter I asked my sister, the harsh, snippy responses were thrown back in my direction. I almost asked her what was wrong, why the tone, is there something that I did? The look on the face and body language couldn’t be ignored either, but then I remembered, we were just there for a wedding. If I asked too much, I might have gotten a negative reaction and we didn’t need to make a spectacle. I just let it be. At the end of the day, I knew that her issues are her own and they have to do with the way that my parents raised us differently, under the same roof. I was raised in such a way that I became more independent and she was the one who was (and still is) always coddled and never confronted for her actions. I have also learned that she uses her body language as a way to get attention as the victim. Victims play the victim for the sake of attention.

It was finally time to sit down for dinner. As we sat down, I caught a glimpse of what looked like and reminded me of Ann’s father who had passed. I saw him look over at me and I sensed that deep knowing look.  I knew he was there. Once we sat, I sensed the awkwardness kicking in, heads were down and everyone focused on their plates. It was more than a resting bitch face for some. In some cases, it was also the shoulders slumped forward.  I decide to just take the lead and nip the awkward silence in the bud. I paid particular attention to MY own body language making sure that I was “open” to others and not closed off. I started with Ann. I ask, “Ann, how are the kids doing?” and in response to my question, I got an abrupt and angered “Fine, how are yours?” back. I saw Lynn’s eyes pop out of her head so I knew that I wasn’t playing up the dramatics of the tone that was used. Ann dialed it back a bit and asked me, “How are yours?” I kept my gentle tone consistent and explained some of my kids’ recent activities and then moved on to Lynn and asked about her son and she showed some photos from his Senior Prom.

I sat at the table with my arms open under the table and my palms facing upward. I recall during the speeches literally sending love and a bright white light to those at my table. I saw the gentleman who looked like Lynn’s father pass by again. I got the long gaze as he came by. I struggled with what to do with that, but clearly at this point in time, and after watching people’s behavior, my thoughts were that nobody was ready to accept the gifts that I have or the messages that could be delivered because they’d be coming from me. I do think that Lynn’s father popped up twice to me because her mother was also at the table. Though they were divorced when he passed, I know that there is still love and hurt there. Better yet, I think that Lynn’s son’s soul is that of her brother that passed away at birth. Again, nobody is ready to hear this.

b3780144a617e2bc4566222df14fbf26I tried to chat with my sister a few more times while we were still sitting at dinner. I asked her questions about her work, her dog, and so forth. Still, not getting very far. While at the table I couldn’t help but to notice the “looks” back and forth between Lynn and Ann throughout the evening. At times I see my sister looking at Ann and Lynn’s non-verbal communication, but I could tell that she’s not in on it. She was more the third wheel that was used when they needed a bigger team. I particularly picked up on the looks and vibes whenever my dad walked up. (My poor father kept trying to come over and talk to my husband because he had little conversation at his table and equally felt bad for my husband.)

Eventually, the bride and groom danced their first dance together. They danced to what was my deceased Aunt and Uncle’s song – Ann’s parents. When the song is over, I literally saw my aunt and uncle joined together and waving at me as the song concluded. I smiled and thanked them.

At some point my sister, Lynn and Ann go off and dance. I felt bad for Auntie J. being left alone so my husband and I stayed seated at the table. At one point, when the ladies returned to the table, I was taken aback at what I saw. I saw a gray color around them. Not so much their aura, but more like their skin, hair and bodies, it was like I saw their “toxicity.” (To me, an aura is more the outline energy field of the body and not the body itself.)

My husband and I danced to a slow song. My father grabbed Ann for the dance. I know why my father did it. Ann is a connection to my deceased Aunt for him. She was uncomfortable with it, but that had more to do with her actions than his.

After dancing, I saw my Aunt Maria sitting by herself watching the dance floor. I thought that it would be a good time to go over and try to say something to her. After all, things seemed fine when we walked out of the chapel. I bent down and told her, “Today was really nice, don’t you think?” She turned halfway, gave me a glare and replied, “Yeah, thanks.” And turned her back toward me. I bent down again, thinking I would try again, but decided to just leave it.

32452343_365986140589779_1026768973569458176_nI know that she is the pot-stirrer of this whole current family mess.  In all fairness, she grew up around similar actions. (When you know better, you do better.) I  know that she harbors a lot of anger and resentment which if not released, will turn into disease. I believe it will be bone cancer if she doesn’t break the cycle. I also known that when people stir the pot, they are doing so to put attention on them. For whatever reason THEY need attention so they try to get it by creating drama.

At that moment, I remember thinking to myself that I was thankful (for the first time in my life) for a girl who I went to school with – The Prom Queen. She was also a pot-stirrer and she was great at getting the room to turn on a person. I didn’t realize until now that the aggravation that she caused me years ago actually prepared me for moments like these.

At this point in the evening, I felt that I had only gotten as far as I was going to get with people in the room and that it was time to go. My mom gave me a strange look when I told her that my husband and I were saying our good byes and heading out. (My dad on the other hand was wishing that he could leave with us.)

I realize that my parents are trying to keep their noses clean in this family drama situation. My Aunt Maria is my father’s only living original family member left left so they don’t want to ruin that. Never mind that my father was taught his whole life to keep his head down and to avoid conflict. With that said, if people were treating my sister that evening the way that they were treating me, he would have been all over it making phone calls and having conversations behind the scenes to try to fix things on her behalf. I need to chalk it up to: My parents think that I am independent and can handle this.

Before leaving, we look for my Uncle to say “goodbye” to. I never got confirmation (yet) on the watch that my uncle was wearing at the wedding, but I have a feeling that someday in the future I will. (Refer back to my previous blog.) He was very pleasant and appreciative. A very different energy than my Aunt’s Marie’s. He put his hand on my back when we left and I felt his energy towards me – the energy of touch means more than words.

I am glad that we drove separately and didn’t take the shuttle back to the hotel. It turns out that Lynn was running her mouth on the bus ripping the ceremony and wedding apart with the bride two seats away from her. Definitely not the final words a Bride wants to end her special day on.

The next day, word gets to me that some thought that I was acting “fake” at the wedding and Ann had felt the need to reference me as “someone who flaunts their sainthood in order to find their horns.” At the end of the day I know that people’s issues are their own and their behaviors have to do with how they are really feeling about themselves. Empaths are mirrors to others. We reflect back to others what they don’t like about themselvesempaths reflect back and what they need to change or to work on. Let’s also remember that empaths don’t do fake.

If I was acting out of my normal range, my husband would have been the first to call me out on it, right then and there on it. I know in my heart that I was acting authentically.

I also realize that I vibrate higher than those I was around at the wedding. As a rule, when you vibrate higher, toxic people fall away from you. They also don’t know how to approach you. (I have learned this along my awakening journey.)

When it was time to head back home, I closed the hotel room door behind me. Before doing so, I paused for a moment. It felt symbolic. Like I was turning a page or even closing a book cover. Perhaps some family healing was put into motion the day of the wedding. Only time will tell.

*Names and some timeline order of events have been changed to protect people’s privacy.

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.

An Empath Can Never Have Too Much Space Between Them and Negative or Toxic People

As an Empath, it can be challenging to manage your energy, especially when you are in settings where there is a negative or toxic person or group of people. I have found that the simply moving away from the source of negativity does wonders for me.

What is a negative or toxic person you ask? Well, they tend to be people who have issues with maintaining relationships. They judge others, dwell on the past, have anger issues, they can never be wrong and tend to be brown-nosers.

These types of people like to be the center of attention even if it is negative attention. They will do anything to get you to pay attention to them and see their point of view even if they tell you lies or fib to you.  They also tend to leverage themselves into a position where people have but no choice but to pay attention to them.

Negative or toxic people tend to either stir up drama or feed off of others, and at times will even help it to manifest. They manipulate, they like to control, and they like to withhold information that can be a benefit to others. They also like to blame others for their circumstances.

Do you know anyone who fits this bill?? A relative? A co-worker? A hair-dresser? A class-mate? A stage mother? A sports parent? A drinking buddy?

It is nearly impossible to avoid negative or toxic people all together, especially at social gatherings, in the workplace, at school or church functions, or at your child’s extracurricular activities. As an empath, physical closeness can increase the absorption of a negative person’s feelings or energy. With that said, I have found it extremely effective to distance myself physically from such people. And by distancing I mean at least twenty feet or more. In cramped quarters, that isn’t always possible but in the least, it is helpful to avoid as much contact as possible with negative or toxic people. Give yourself permission to change where you are sitting, stand on a different side of the room, or take frequent breaks from the crowd if need be. Sure, it can come off looking anti-social or snobby, but I have let go of being worried about what other people think as my own energy, or how I feel physically, outweighs other people’s opinions. And really, if it is a negative person that one is trying to avoid, that person isn’t giving you a second (positive) thought anyway. Right?

We are Just Here to Celebrate a Wedding – and That is It.

outdoor weddingWhen those with gifts are close to a situation or the situation is about us, we can’t always bet a read on it. I myself can feel a block where I don’t receive information and other times I feel my brain getting in the way and filling in the blanks or re-writing what I get.

Today I had a visit with my “massage therapist” (that is how I refer to her when it comes to my husband) who really is a reiki master as well as a kind, gentle woman who has many other spiritual gifts. I should just really drop the word “massage” and refer to her as my “therapist” because every time I leave from a visit, I am 100x better emotionally, physically and spiritually than when I showed up.

Before each appointment starts, Mrs. A. (as we’ll call her) will ask me, “What are we working on today.” Sometimes I will point out an area where I have been experiencing chronic pain, other times I will discuss with her my latest health issues or health mysteries and then there are times like today, where physically I am feeling fine for the most part but I have something going on behind the scenes that I need to get off my chest or I am seeking answers for. Walking in today I feel rather fine. I have been feeling like I have been floating on air as I was recently Reiki Level 1 attuned. Today, the only thing I see in front of me is an upcoming family wedding. To most, it sounds like a fun time, but in this case, I have an interesting cast of characters who I will be coming in contact with. Many of whom left me with a very negative feeling the last time I saw them.

I describe what happened in this blog past: https://guidedbyspiritblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/10/when-you-sense-people-in-the-room-turning-on-you-and-it-starts-to-feel-trippy/

As the time has drawn nearer for this event, I have found it hard to lose the ten pounds that I was hoping to lose (emotional protection), I have found it more difficult than usual to find something to wear, which isn’t like me. (I chalk it up to I don’t know what I am walking in to.) And lastly, my husband would prefer to not even go but since this is my side of the family, I make the final call. And though my new motto is, “I am down to weddings and funerals” for those who either cause me pain, drama or don’t serve my highest good, I know that if I don’t show up to this event, that would be the nail in the coffin that could finish my relationship with this side of the family, and I don’t know what the repercussions could be in the future that I may regret.

I share my concerns with Mrs. A. on how I don’t know how to handle going to the wedding. I don’t know what I will be walking in to or how people will react to me.  I also give her tid-bits and quick back stories as they relate to my Aunt and a cousin, to name a few. I have caught visions of this event but I question if I am “making things up or not.” (I still have an issue on trusting what I get, especially when I am related to the situation.) I am confident that I will have guides and loved ones from the other side walking with me that evening so that has given me hope.

Mrs. A. has spiritual gifts as well and can get a reading on things. She paused for a moment and tells me that their problem is not me. It is their issue(s). I relaxed a bit when I heard that. She pointed out that I don’t connect with them and they equally don’t understand me, but that is OK. She also reminded me that we are all different and that is a good thing. How boring if we were all the same.

During my secession, Mrs. A. had me close my eyes and try to relax. We chat about what stones I should wear or carry at the wedding. She suggests Pyrite and rose quarts. The rose quarts is to remind me to show love while I am there. (Pyrite has protective vibes, helps with self-confidence and can provide a more powerful vibration.)  When I finally get my head clear and in a relaxed state (which I is never quick for me) I found myself in a sandy area with the sun behind me Sort of like approaching twilight, but not quite. She prompted me and asked what I was wearing. I was barefoot and dressed in what looked to be a long flowy dress sort of like what a belly dancer would wear but I wasn’t showing my stomach and there weren’t any gold decorative coins sewn on it. It was more conservative. I even had something draped on my head. I was sitting in the sand.

snakeShe asked what I saw in front of me. I saw a basket, sort of like the type you see a snake start dancing out of. Low and behold there was a snake. It was moving back and forth, not in a scary way, but in a rhythmic way. I pointed out to Mrs. A that I didn’t feel threatened by the snake or feel that I was in danger. She said “good! I am glad that you don’t see this as a negative thing because it is not!”

She asked me to look closer at the snake and describe it. I told her that I could see the scales up close and then I looked into the eyes. The eyes weren’t scary though. I told her they remind me of looking into my dog’s eyes. There was a gentle feel to them.

Mrs. A. chimed in and said, “So they look like unconditional love?”

I responded with a “yes!” And then add, “Like my relatives love me unconditionally.”

The vision ended with me scooping up the basket (snake and all) and carrying it under my arm. I walked down the sand, which felt like it had water running alongside of it so I feel like I am walking away down a beach toward what is now a sunset.

Mrs. A. asks me what I look like as I am walking away. I tell her that I feel that I am confident and wise as I walk away. (I snickered at the “wise” part as it felt conceded to say.) She asked if I was looking behind me when I was walking. I firmly felt that no, I am not looking behind me, just forward. Right then and there it hits me. The past is the past. I am not looking back there anymore.

Once I process that a bit, Mrs. A. has me picture myself at the wedding and asks me what I see.

I saw a large round table with a spot light beaming down to illuminate the table top. There were 8 or 10 chairs around it. I was the only one sitting at the table, with my back to the corner of the room. The rest of the chairs were empty. It was as if I was in the corner observing the room and the dance floor in front of me. The room itself was dark except where the spot light was illuminating my table.

Mrs. A. then tells me to switch seats so that I am sitting with my back to the dance floor. She asks me who is coming up to me while I am sitting. I sense that it is my uncle (the husband to the aunt who is the source of issues and drama). I have never had an issue with this uncle but due to whatever fall-out took place that changed my aunt to be negative towards me, I haven’t really had much of a relationship with him in the last year or so. In my vision, my uncle starts out by clearing his throat. I mention that to Mrs. A and she says that clearing of the throat is like trying to clear a throat chakra. (Wow! How interesting!! I never put two and two together.) She asks me to describe what we are talking about. I tell her that he is asking me what has happened. (Meaning with my Aunt.) Why are things the way they are? I tell him, he nods, and then we part ways with everything being fine and calm between us.

Mrs. A. asks who comes in next. I tell her I see my sister. She walks up and pulls up a chair next to me and sits down. Mrs. A. adds that my sister looks excited and is talking a lot, like she’s had a few drinks. I told her that I agree, that is what I am seeing. She asks me who comes up to us while we are talking. I say I think that it is my Dad. He comes up to us, says a smart-ass comment and leaves. My sister rolls her eyes. Mrs. A. keeps encouraging me and says, “Yes, you are right!” She then asks me,  “What is your sister so excited about? What is she telling you?”

Well, at this point, my brain starts to interfere and want to fill in the blanks. I presume she wants to bitch about my parents. (Mrs. A. says, “No!”) I tried really hard but didn’t get anything more out of her. Mrs. A. said that I will just have to wait until the wedding to find out.

wedding_vendor_dance_floor_luxury_interview_occasionlabcom_7Next she asks me if I see a white light. I say, “Yes.” She asks me where the light is and I tell her it is on the dance floor. She tells me to go there. As I am walking to the dance floor she points out what I am wearing. She points out that my dress is flowing and I am gliding or floating with ease and confidence. I start to slow-dance with my husband on the dance floor. She asks me if people are there and I say that I see them but they look to be in the shadows. I don’t see their faces, maybe just their eyes.

As I dance more, Mrs. A asks if I start to see the people. I say that I do and that they look to be emerging into the light now. I see their faces and they are looking at me smiling. She points out that all is fine and positive with the people around me.

This vision stops and things move on to what looks to be the next day. The day after the wedding. Mrs. A. asks me where I am at. I tell her that I am at the party the morning after. I am the only one there, there are the tables where people sat, chairs scattered about and things left on tables. She asks me how I feel about where I am at. I tell her that I feel good. That it wasn’t that bad. She asked, “sort of like you are reflecting and realized that it wasn’t that bad and that you had fun?” I responded with a “yes!” Mrs. A. then gives me some advice and more of the message: She reminds me that I glow with love and that I can’t get mad. (Basically because I am radiating love and light.) The wedding is not a place for a family fight. And that we are here (at the wedding) to celebrate the bride and groom. She also reminds me that I need to have my wall down so that I can radiate.

Before the secession concluded I did ask Mrs. A to validate a few things that I got in regard to the day of the Wedding just to be sure I wasn’t crazy or making things up. She validated for me that yes, it will be cold the day of the wedding. (The wedding and reception are taking place outdoors.) I asked her if there was a connection between my uncle, a watch and the wedding day. (I’ve picked up on this for over a year now but started to think that I was making it up.) She confirmed that I will get validation at the wedding about this but suggested that I don’t say anything directly as I may freak my Uncle out. It will be too much for him to take in that day. I also ask her if things resolve with my cousin. She confirmed that she will reach out to me in time. I respond back, “Why, because she is looking for a reading from me? And Mrs. A. confirmed yes. I tell her that I am not sure that I want to read for family. (Personally I think that I am going to find it hard to give neutral readings and leave my personal opinion out of things. As of now, I also find it hard to give healing messages to those who have wronged me or talked about me behind my back on numerous occasions. You’ve also heard the expression “don’t shoot the messenger” haven’t you? Well, I don’t need people not liking what information they are getting through a reading though I know that Spirit delivers what needs to be heard. I am just the face of it. The conduit.)

Lastly, I ask her if my aunt and I will make up. In the months previous, I keep getting visions of my aunt coming up to me with tears in her eyes. I see her dressed in like a lavender mother-of-the-groom dress though I don’t believe that she’ll actually be wearing lavender at the wedding. I also don’t see her bringing anything up at the wedding.

Mrs. A. responds with, “Let’s see what you get” and I started another vision. I saw myself in my office with cards laid out. She asked me to do a spread and tell her what I get. (At first I was like, “how is this going to work?” but I just went with it.)

I laid out three cards and I got different symbols. The first one was “Justice” which told me that justice is in my favor with the situation with my Aunt. The next had to do with balance. Then another had to do with blocking. I was the one blocking the healing. For kicks I “pulled” another card in my vision. (I usually pull an extra just to see if there is more to a message.) On the final card was an image of a newly found Guide that I was introduced to a few weeks ago. Her name is Rose. Rose appeared on the card and winked at me. I got the message to observe.

I tell her that I see myself at my Aunt’s house. In her kitchen specifically. Like my Aunt invited me over. We are getting along in my vision. Like we put things behind us. I still feel that I will have her at arm’s length but things will improve from where they are here and now.

My sessions with Mrs. A. never seem to disappoint.

61deba6a24b9c7d066b4753a1e62c05cAs I am walking out, Mrs. A mentions one last thing to me. She mentions that maybe it is up to me to heal the family and to break the negative cycle. (They cycle that someone is always on the outs. The black sheep. The one who is critiqued and picked apart.)

After an appointment with Mrs. A. I always get signs or symbols along the way home that tie back to my secession. On the way home, the song “Amber is the color of your Energy” by 311 came on. The song hasn’t been popular in years and it isn’t one you hear often on the radio.

The lyrics have to do with a woman who is beautiful and sweet that she radiates like the sun… the singer feels her energy and her love.

The “gemstone” Amber, (which is really fossilized resin) possesses very old energy. With this old energy comes the acquired wisdom of the earth! Additionally, it is described as a warm, cheerful, wise, protective, and healing stone. It will discharge all negative moods, and it will deflect negative energies that other people may direct at you.

Either way or meaning(s) translate back to the session that I just had.

Wish me luck.

The big day is in May and we’ll see how things unfold!

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The stories and topics that I share are as I have observed them, as I have lived them, and as they have happened to me, along my journey. They are not intended to hurt anybody and they are told as I have experienced them. I have also done my best to protect the identity of the subjects in my writings. If you find yourself reading something and suddenly question: “Is that about me?” If that is the case it probably is to some degree because there’s absolutely some kind of lesson in there for you.
If the topics or stories on my blog or in my other writings are not relatable to you, then it is not for you, at least not at this time. We are all in different places along our journeys. What resonates with some, won’t even touch on the surface for others.