The Goodbye Dream

I’ve heard this term before: The “Goodbye Dream.” (Some call it the “Farewell Dream.”)  It is the dream that you have after somebody passes away. It is a dream where you both connect and say goodbye in some way. You are given some kind of closure or are re-assured that the person is okay.

I think that I had my very first goodbye dream when I was 17 or 18 years old. At least that is the first one that I can actually recall.  It was a visit from a co-worker. I remember after waking up from the dream, feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted.

Last night I had a dream about my uncle who recently passed. He passed less than a month ago. I hadn’t seen him in nearly five years. His daughter and her family moved him out of state to live with him. We didn’t keep in touch via phone as he was hard of hearing and deaf in one ear. I’d send photos of the kids and gifts at Christmas, and cards on his birthday, but never heard if he received them. Loved them. Or hated them.  I never took offense to it, as I know that the lack of feedback on the items sent weren’t his doing.

I had a premonition of when I thought that he’d be passing. I thought that he would pass around the Christmas holiday. I pictured it to be a holiday when people were together. He actually passed on Thanksgiving instead.  When I had the vision of him passing, I actually saw my sister being there.

In the weeks leading up to my uncle’s passing, I prayed “to” him, sort of like a conversation in my head to him. I also prayed to my aunt, his wife, who passed years previously, as well as to other relatives. Once he passed, I lifted him (along with his daughter and her family) up in prayer. When praying, I let my uncle know that I have some gifts. (I still can’t totally hear as I still get the buzzing in my ear but the buzzing is sometimes different now.)

Though we hadn’t talked or seen each other in a while, I didn’t think that anything was wrong between us. No hard feelings. No grudges. Others who were around him might have their own opinions as my family and I were excluded from family events like baptisms, or not invited out for visits, but I never thought of anything being left on a sour note between my uncle and I. However, after my uncle visited me in his Goodbye Dream, I was FOR SURE that all was good between us!

The dream seemed to unfold so fast once it got started. It was a very vivid dream and one that every detail stuck with me afterwards. I recall feeling cold, though I was under the covers when I started to fall asleep. Then I remember the chill going away as I fell into the dream. The dream started with my uncle coming out of a garage. This total made sense as he loved to work on cars. Old cars. He was wearing a light colored sweater and light colored pants. Not necessarily something he normally wore, but I remember thinking while dreaming that the light colored clothing looked very angelic.

As he came out of the garage, he sat at what looked like a park bench. The bench was near where his and my aunt’s front step was that lead into their breezeway. It was like the bench was running perpendicular to the garage. It was like I was standing in the driveway of their old house, yet it was different. My uncle was built like an old football player (which he was), he had an athletic build, but he looked to be in what I think his

He sat on a bench that was running alongside where he and my aunt’s front deck step was at their old house. It was like we were in the driveway of their old house, yet it was different. And though he was 76 and ailing when he past, in my dream, he was built like an old football player (which he was), he had an athletic build, and he looked to be in what I think was his late 50s. He had a head full of white, thick hair, and his beard was really dark and thick, like the color I remember his hair and beard to be when I was a young child. He looked strong and healthy.

We sat on the bench together and hugged and snugged. It was as though I was sitting on his lap like a small child at times. He kept kissing my repeatedly on the cheek and kept calling me by the nickname that my aunt gave me. We both told each other “I love you” and then the dream was done.

Just like that. Done.

When I woke in the middle of the night, I felt like someone touched or brushed my leg. I wasn’t scared. I just said “hi!” Then, while lying in bed in the dark, I heard the sound of a paper being moved (I have scrap booking stuff in our bedroom – a project that never gets done) followed by the sound of the window blind next to my bed making a quick “tap” sound. I simply said “Hi! I can hear you!”

….. And then I fell back to sleep for the night.

This morning I awoke with excitement yet felt contentment. Trying to replay the dream over and over again in my mind so that I wouldn’t forget any details.  I felt that I had closure since we got to connect like that last night.

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